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Sunday, October 20.--The blessedness of eventide, the satisfaction
after long and hard day's work; delicious feeling of rest and
contentment; soothing is such solitude.
Yesterday rather "offish" whole day; felt just as though "it wouldn't
come."
Visited family of Afgescheiden people; sterling Christian old lady,
Mrs. Van der Heever.
In so far am at rest now with regard Mrs. Van Wyk; with doctor's help
we have got her and baby safely lodged in hospital; some consolation
anyhow.
In fever ward found Mrs. Olivier dying; fine, strong woman. How
cruel and relentless is Death; prayed at bedside; quite unconscious,
and passed away some minutes after.
Very painful task yesterday, matter which has been awaiting
investigation some days already. Young girl of sixteen ran away to
River with view to getting into British lines. Bad character since
last year, when British entered Bethulie. Sent with mother to
Bloemfontein Camp on that account by military. Weeks ago she was
brought back from river, but refused to return to mother; found she
was staying with notorious villian E----, whose wife ill in
hospital....
Yesterday afternoon Mr. Becker, Elder du Toit, and self straight talk
with E----. But oh, what a blackguard he is, and how devilishly good
and obedient! Made himself out a second good Samaritan.
Took her to mother; willing to forgive and receive her back, if she
is truly repentant and promises to remain and obey. And now? The
Lord only knows. Mr. Becker promised to call this afternoon; must
hold eye on her; must make her feel and know that we desire only her
welfare. Feel convinced that unless we get her converted to God
everything will be in vain.
Hurried off to village; breakfast parsonage; return with magnificent
leg of mutton and salad; flowers.
Church service soon after; fortunately could use sermon prepared for
last Wednesday afternoon, "Het leven is mij Christus, het sterven is
mij gewin" (For me to live is Christ, to die is gain). Splendid
congregation at both places.
Visit Ottos; boy very, very bad; enteric; fear worst; prayer.
After dinner, repose and preparation for afternoon service; restless
hour and half with no progress; 110 texts; no go, so in despair at
2.30 got up, and after bit prayer decided to preach to young people
on "En de Heere keerde zich om en zag Petrus aan" (And the Lord
turned and looked upon Peter); immense crowd; wonderfully helped.
Funerals four; very large crowd; hundreds; splendid opportunity
again; "En de dooden werden geoordeeld naar hetgeen in de boeken
geschreven was" (And the dead were judged out of the things which
were written in the books). We are all busy, each with his own book,
and each day we add a page; but one day, like with these dead, we
come to our last page. What have we written? How do we write? When we
become God's children, God writes in letters of red--with Christ's
blood as ink--over the pages of sin we have till now written,
"Cleansed in Jesus's blood," and thence we write only to the glory of
God. And the little children we bury to-day--they too have their
little books completed, but I believe there was an angel to hold the
pen of each child, and that therefore their little books will be pure
before God.
After funerals, girls' prayer meeting; very enjoyable gathering;
regulated prayers somewhat; first for our own special needs, second
and third for our camp--sick, weary, sorrowful, careless,
unconverted, hospital; fourth and fifth, relatives and friends far
away; Land en Volk.
Tea, and at 7.15 our evening service of song (went to tea at 6.30,
people already going to service).
Glorious singing, place inside and outside (?) simply packed;
reserved seats for nurses, who arrived few minutes late; "Prys den
Heere" (Praise the Lord) again; temptation too great; sudden
inspiration.
"Wederzien" (God be with you) beautifully sung; also several
kinderharp; so hearty, so enjoyable; quarter-hour over time;
announced next meeting Tuesday night (D.V.).
And now the day is over.
Mr. Becker had huge crowd in lower church this afternoon while I had
young people. May God's Word not return to Him void!
And now for a good old pipe, and a few good long thoughts of home,
dear ones, and friends.
(This almost long enough for sermon, and needs only the Amen!)
* * * * *
Thursday, October 24.--Long break, four days gone by; but one day is
like the other except that on alternative days I take the funerals;
for the rest, each day is like preceding morning, noon, and
afternoon--sick! sick! sick!
O for a change in my work! The continual cry is "Minheer, kom tog
hier" (Sir, please come here), "Minheer, gaat tog daar" (Sir, please
go there), and one grows so weary of scenes of suffering and sorrow;
always red and tear-stained eyes; always Love, helpless, hopeless,
impotent, despairing; always face to face with Decay, Change, Death;
always the same close, stifling, little tent.
Such a life here as "leeraart" (chaplain) full of dull, oppressive,
burdensome, wearying, saddening hours. O the monotony, the horrible
monotony of my work. How welcome the hour of sunset! How blissful to
lay me down to sleep! Thank God for his unspeakable gift of
sleep--that period of forgetfulness, of rest, of void.
And yet let me confess, can there be any work grander, more glorious,
than just this work of mine? How one can revel in it! The unspeakable
bliss of being able to ease the burdens of one's fellow-men--the
supreme honour of being able to be a blessing. Surely the purest
pleasure here on earth--to bear one another's burdens.
To-day a grievous, burdensome day--full of worry and trouble.
Found that my tent had been unceremoniously pulled down and removed
during my morning visit in camp.
Hurried home to find things lying in dire confusion, and unprotected.
"Ai, maar dit was ook genoeg om'n mens regtig moeilijk en nukkerig te
maak" (Ah, but it was enough to rouse and irritate a person). But
what an utter absence of the faintest traces of some respect and
deference. There are men whose cold-blooded brutishness and
irreverence knock one over completely. One's person, one's
profession, is no guarantee, no safeguard--nay, I verily believe some
glory and revel in the act of making a fellow-creature miserable.
So I sent in my resignation on the spot. "The indignity which I had
suffered at the hands of the authorities makes it impossible for me
to continue in my office."
And of course this made a mighty change, and there were explanations
and apologies, etc., and at 1 p.m. I had another tent, and my
resignation safe in drawer.
May I never have occasion to undergo such a mental, internal struggle
again. One positively has need of extra grace each day, so much as
regular supply and so much extra.
But now day is over and the turmoil is over. Thank God!
Funerals four; "In het huis mijns vaders" (In my Father's house);
felt offish; visited old Thomas du Toit; fear he won't make it.
Thence old Mr. Van der Merwe; dying.
Too dead beat to go to Mrs. Van der Berg, who I believe is dying.
Girlie 169 also in Death's throes; horrid, cruel, wicked fever.
168, girlie, pneumonia; wishes to die. "Minheer, ik wil tog liever
bij Jezus wees, hier is dit al te zwaar" (Sir, I would much rather
be with Jesus; here it is too hard).
Visited Mrs. Van der Walt, 184, who lost three children some weeks
(in twenty-four hours); also old Mr. Venter; alone; wife and two
daughters died few weeks ago; poor old fellow! what cup of suffering.
At the graves spoke to mother, "Dit is nou mij zesde, minheer" (This
is now my sixth, sir).
Several in hospital dead too.
Very sorry about old Mr. Hockins (he had died); did not visit him
during last few days.
Hospital removed to-day; right out of camp; great undertaking. Will
mean so much more time lost for me.