GLORIA AND THE GARDEN OF SWEDEN

IT WAS one of those gilded October days when the serene sunshine is as

soft and tawny as candle-light; when the air is thin and sharp in

the early mornings, but the noontime is as comfortably genial as the

radiance of a hearth reddened with hickory embers. Dove Dulcet and I

were strolling along Riverside Park, enjoying the blue elixir of the

afternoon, in which there was just a faint prick, a gently tangible barb

of the coming arrows of the North.

“Winter sharpens her spearheads,” said Dulcet. “Aye,” was my reply.

Below us I saw the coaling-station at the Seventy-ninth Street pier.

“The merriest music the householder can hear nowadays is the roar of

coal going down the chute into the cellar.”

He sighed, and seemed touched by a sudden melancholy.

“Ben,” he said, “that coal-dump reminds me of Gloria Larsen. Did I ever

tell you about her?”

“Never,” I said. “Coal, I presume, made you think of diamonds; and

diamonds, of Miss Larsen. Were you engaged to her?”

“I might have been,” he said, sentimentally. Before us was an empty

bench, on a little knoll that looks out over the shining sweep of the

river. I drew him to it, and we filled our pipes. When you can get a

minor poet in an autobioloquacious mood, it is well to encourage him.

No one takes life so seriously as the minor poet, and consequently his

memoirs make fine sport for the disinterested bystander.

“No,” he said, blowing a waft of tobacco smoke into the soft,

sun-brimmed air, and settling down into the curve of the bench. “The

association was even more obvious than that of coal and diamonds. I

always think of Gloria when winter begins to come in.”

“Ah!” I said. “She was cold?”

He meditated, ignoring my jocularity.

*****

“It was a good many years ago,” he said at last; “before you knew me.

When I first came to town, you know, I had a fine ambition to be a

writer. I had just a little money, so I shut myself up in a hall room

at the top of a cheap lodging-house on Seventy-fifth Street, hired a

typewriter, and set about to butt my bead against all the walls that hem

in the beginner.

“It was one of those old four-story dwellings that are now mostly

boarding-houses, and it was run by a good-hearted widow who would let

her rooms only to men, because she said they were less trouble than

women. Her house was clean and incredibly cheap, and almost all the

lodgers were young fellows like myself--students, or starveling artists,

or chaps with literary ambitions. That was how I had heard of the place,

through another fellow who lived there and had built up a little sort of

coterie in the house. He was Black-more. You know his name; he gave up

art long ago. He's now the art editor of the _Mother, Home, and Heaven

Magazine_.

“Mrs. Vesey, our landlady, was quite a character. I was always rather

a favourite with her, because the very first day I came to her house

I happened to find her cat, which had wandered away some days before,

leaving her disconsolate. The cat's name, I remember, was Nemo. She had

called it so because, with that admirable virginity of mind that one

finds only in a childless married woman, she was uncertain of the

animal's sex. Anyway, it was a fine big creature, and the apple of Mrs.

Vesey's pie. She talked so much about it that we used to chaff her a

good deal on the subject, and say that we thought it was going to have

kittens, and all that sort of thing. Blackmore used to say, remembering

the title of some idiotic melodrama he had seen, that it was 'Neither

Maid, Wife, nor Widow.' He was right, for it was the kind of cat that

is not likely to be either a father or a mother without a miracle. But I

don't want to be indelicate. I only mention Nemo because it was through

him that I first talked with Gloria.

“The first day I was at Mrs. Vesey's I heard her groaning about the

vanished cat. That evening I went out to supper, feeling rather lonely,

and dropped in at an eccentric-looking little restaurant on Amsterdam

Avenue. It was called Larsen's Physical Culture Chophouse, and I have

never seen a more amusing place. Old man Larsen was a Swede, and all the

Scandinavian fads ran riot in his head--vegetarian food, for instance.

He didn't absolutely condemn meat, for he would serve it if you

insisted, but all his joy was in weird combinations of calory, protose,

and vitamine, or whatever those things are called. Bean “cutlets,” and

protose “steak” that turned out, on examination, to be made of chopped

walnuts and lentils, and the “Thousand-Calory Combination Dinner,” of

which he made a specialty. When you sat down, if you were a regular

customer, old Larsen would come round and look you over and diagnose

from your complexion the kind and quantity of calories you needed for

that meal, and would give you combinations of spinach croquettes and

lentil pie that he warranted would purge the blood and compose the mind.

On the walls were charts of Swedish exercises and systems of

calisthenics, and he sold a little pamphlet that he himself had written

telling how to be strong and merry and full of physique.

“Well, to come back to my first visit to Larsen's restaurant. I hadn't

been in there many minutes before I noticed the girl at the cashier's

desk. My, my, what a girl! My table was close to her little throne, and

I couldn't help watching her out of the end of my eye. I wondered if

she was raised entirely on protose and lentils, for I have never seen

anything so gloriously and vitally physical in my life. Great, bold blue

eyes, and crisp, sparkling golden hair, and blood that spoke delicately

through her skin, and a figure--well, just our old friend of Melos

over again, that lively combination of grace and strength. She was just

curves and waves and athletic softness--the kind of creature that makes

your arms tingle, you know. No corset, I suppose. In the old man's

booklet on physical culture he defended the gymnastic doctrine that

women should develop what he called a muscle corset by bending and

swaying from the hips a thousand times a day. He said it must be

done--well, _au naturel_, in front of an open window in one's bedroom in

the morning. I'd be ashamed to admit that we fellows at Mrs. Vesey's

used to set our alarm clocks at half-past six to go round the corner to

Amsterdam Avenue----”

Dulcet paused a while and watched the river pensively.

“But about the cat,” I reminded him presently.

“Yes,” he said. “Well, that first night I was at the chop-house I

noticed a very fine, fat cat browsing about under the tables. I was

amused at the corpulence of the animal. I said to myself that a cat

as large as that must surely get some meat somewhere, because, while

vegetarian protose food may be all right for Swedes, a cat is a realist

in the matter of carnal meals. And when I went to the desk to pay my

check, wanting some excuse to get into talk with the superb Gloria--who

was, of course, the old man's daughter--I remarked on the sleek, healthy

appearance of her cat.

“'Oh, it's not ours,' she said. 'It came in here yesterday. I don't know

whose he is.'

“I'll bet I know whose it is,” I said.

I told her that Mrs. Vesey, who ran the bachelor lodging-house on

Seventy-Fifth Street, had lost her Nemo. She listened with interest,

those thrilling blue eyes sizing me up in a keen, humorous way.

“'I shouldn't wonder it's hers,' she said.

“Welcoming any pretext for prolonging the discussion, I borrowed the

phone at Gloria's elbow, and, studying the heart-rending curves of her

chin and cheek and throat, I called up Mrs. Vesey and told her I thought

I had found her pet. Mrs. Vesey hurried round to the restaurant,

and swept up the vagabond Nemo with cries of joy into her lean and

affectionate bosom. Nemo purred, and I escorted Mrs. Vesey home,

recapitulating in my mind the perfect contours of the girl's heavenly

form. My enthusiasm was even such that when the other men came in I

could not refrain from telling them all about her. I saw that I had made

a mistake, for instantly Blackmore swore he would get her to sit for

him.

“Of course, from that time on, the Physical Culture Chophouse became the

nightly haunt of our little party. The other men had seen it many times,

but the vegetarian threats in the window had frightened them away. But

now, none of us dared to be absent very many dinners, for fear the

rest would gain some advantage with the girl. I cannot give you any

conception of the humorous glamour of that time unless I insist that she

was the most superbly luscious thing I have ever glimpsed; and one sees

a good many covetable creatures on the streets of New York. Some of them

said she was cold; that in spite of all the nutritious algebra printed

on old Larsen's menus (he used to put down all sorts of preposterous

formulas about starch, and albumen, and phosphorus, and proteids, and so

on)--she was lacking in calories. But I know that when we sat at table,

and she came round to ask if everything was all right, and leaned over

us with her clear eyes, as blue as a special-delivery stamp, and that

cream-white neck, and the faint glimmer of a blue ribbon shining through

the hilly slopes of her blouse-----Oh, well, Ben, we were young, and we

ate red meat for lunch, anyway.

“I guess old man Larsen, who spent most of his time in the kitchen,

encouraged her to kid us along, for he never seemed to mind our open

admiration of his daughter. He probably saw that she was a bigger

business asset than any number of calory charts. Every now and then he

would come out and chin with us, for our party became a nightly event

in the café. Before long we had sampled every kind of vegetarian

combination on the list, and had him busy inventing new ones. We used to

ask him if he had raised a girl like that on nothing but vegetables, and

he would laugh and swear that Gloria had never tasted blood until she

was sixteen. It seemed queer to us that the restaurant wasn't full of

her suitors. I should have thought, with a girl like her, they'd have

been standing in line waiting for a look at her. I suppose that people

who feed on nothing but vegetables are rather puny in such matters.

It's an odd thing, but I've always noticed that most of the people who

frequent these crank physical-culture and dietetic eating-places are a

queer, sick-looking lot--youths with rolling Adam's apples, and sallow,

soup-stained girls. Certainly our little gang, so very jovial and

fancy-free, made a quaint contrast to most of the patrons of the house.

In a few days we felt as if we owned the place, and had the old man

slide two tables together just underneath Gloria's cash register, where

we met every evening for dinner.

“As for Larsen, he was a crank on many subjects but he was no fool.

He was an athletic, erect fellow with a bristling gray moustache and

cropped hair and a forcible gray eye. On the wall was a huge photo

of him in a kind of Sandow pose, with a leopard-skin apron round his

middle, showing terrific knotty biceps and back muscles. Gloria told us

that at one time he had been a physical instructor in the Swedish army,

and the head of a _Turnverein_, or something of that sort. There was a

certain physical and gymnastic candour about him that amused us. He was

awfully proud of Gloria, whom he had raised himself (being a widower)

according to his own hygienic and athletic principles. After we had all

bought his booklets, and promised to take up his system of calisthenics,

he became quite chummy and showed us a lot of photographs of Gloria at

different ages, doing her gymnastic exercises, beginning as a little

plump Venus and ending as a stunning profile in tights. We tried to

maintain an attitude of merely scientific detachment toward those

pictures, admiring them only as connoisseurs of physical culture; but we

ended by begging him for copies, insisting that they would be a useful

guide to us in our own private exercising. But Larsen said he

was keeping them to illustrate a new enlarged edition of his

physical-culture book. We told him that it would sell a million copies,

and I think we all volunteered to act as selling-agents for the book.

Annette Kellermann and Susanna Cocroft, we cried, were scarecrows

compared to Gloria.

“To all this banter Gloria would listen calmly and unembarrassed, for

she had a magnificent unconsciousness of her own superb allure. We would

each try to get a moment alone with her to describe the exercises we

were taking, and to ask her advice about our muscular development.

I remember that Blackmore, after secret practice that we had not

suspected, took the wind out of our sails one evening when some of us

were bragging of our accomplishment in bending and touching the floor

while standing on tiptoe. He jumped up and caught hold of the lintel of

the doorway, and chinned himself on it a dozen times or so. We were

all crestfallen by this feat until Gloria came forward--all the other

customers had gone home--and did the same thing about twenty times. She

went back to her counter with a heavenly flush of pride, while Blackmore

dashed to a table and did a little sketch of her from memory, with the

lovely lines of her figure silhouetted against the doorway.

“But it was I who was first to think of the subtlest compliment that any

one could pay her, which was to ask the privilege of feeling her biceps.

And what an arm she had! Not a great, fleshy, flabby washerwoman's

limb, but the rippling marble of a Greek statue brought to warm life!

Blackmore used to sit at meal-times neglecting his protose steak and

making sketches of her while she wasn't looking. The best I could do was

write verses about her. And while she played no favourites, I think

she really gave me a little the inside track, because I talked physical

culture with her more seriously than the others, who tried to make love

to her a little too baldly.

“By this time she had us all doing calisthenics. The creaky floors of

Mrs. Vesey's house used to resound night and morning with the agonies

of our gymnastics. There was one exercise that Gloria told us she found

particularly helpful. It was to lie down with the feet under a bureau or

any other heavy piece of furniture, extend the arms behind the head, and

then raise and lower the body a hundred times, pivoting from the waist.

This was only one of fifty or more laborious accomplishments that we

undertook for the sake of our goddess. No woman was ever wooed with

more honest pangs, or with more repeated genuflections. As we lay on

the floor before going to bed, raising our legs in the air two hundred

times, or groaned in some sinew-cracking, twisting contortion devised

by the pitiless Swede, it was the vision of Gloria's beauty of snow and

rose that gave us courage. If any passer-by ever looked up at the front

of Mrs. Vesey's house in the early mornings, he must have been startled

to see a white figure near every window, furiously going through the

Swedish manual. One of us, we fondly thought, would some day spend a

healthy Swedish honeymoon performing these motions in ecstatic company

with Gloria; and we did not want to be shamed by her incomparable

perfection. If she worshipped bodily symmetry, our goal was nothing

less. We wanted to be lithe, supple, very panthers of elasticity and

grace. The evening I was able to stand on one leg in the restaurant and

proudly raise my other foot to touch a gas-jet some six feet from the

floor, I felt that Gloria might some day be mine.”

Dove paused again, and seemed to fall into a reminiscent reverie.

Unconsciously he stiffly extended one leg in front of him, and I divined

that he was inwardly rehearsing that act of calisthenic triumph.

“By gracious!” he said, “I've never forgotten the night I got her

father's permission to take her to some gymnastic tournament, or

something of that sort, down at Madison Square Garden. How annoyed the

other men were when they went to the chop-house that night for their

evening penance of lentils, and found Gloria absent! Yes, it was an odd

wooing. I had found the measurements of the Venus de Milo in some Sunday

paper, and that night, when we became quite sentimental, I made her

promise to take her own dimensions, so that we could compare the

proportions of the two. And we had some very happy little jokes, quite

simple ones that she would understand, about her arms being much more

lovely than those of the statue, and that sort of thing. How deliciously

she blushed the next day when she gave me her list of measurements,

written out on a sheet of paper. Of course, I pretended not to

understand which was which. I wrote a little poem about them.”

“It seems to me,” I said, “that you were getting on very well. What was

the trouble? You didn't marry her, did you?”

“Old man Larsen,” he continued, gravely, “had a number of other hobbies

besides vegetarianism and physical culture. He was a mechanical

genius in his way. I remember once, after we had expressed exaggerated

admiration of some atrocious compound of lentils and nuts and

fruit, Gloria took us through the kitchen to show us an ingenious

sandwich-making machine her father had contrived. You fed in loaves of

pumpernickel bread and pats of nut butter on one side, hard-boiled eggs

and lettuce and dressing on the other, and out came egg-salad sandwiches

through a slot, as neat as you could want to see. But the best of his

stunts was a sort of miniature vacuum cleaner which the waitresses used

for taking the crumbs off the tables. You've seen those little hot-air

pistols they use at swell shoe-shining stands to dry the liquid cleanser

off your shoes before they put on the polishing paste? Well, Larsen's

decrumbing machine, as we used to call it, looked rather like those. You

screwed a plug into an electric light socket, ran the little gun over

the table, and in a jiffy it sucked up crumbs and cigarette ashes and

spilled lentils and matches, and left the cloth neat. Larsen was so

proud of it he said he was going to patent it.

“I never cared so very much for the old man, he was a little too

eccentric; and I began to think, after a while, that he used his

daughter a little too crudely as a business bait; but he was full of

ideas. He had a big motor-truck that he used to cruise around town,

visiting the markets himself, to get the pick of the vegetables; and he

was always tinkering with that truck, planning new mechanical tricks of

some kind. He had an insatiable curiosity, too. He used to sit down

at the table with us sometimes, late in the evening, and ask about our

work, and where we lived, and what Mrs. Vesey was like, and what time of

day we were home, and all sorts of fool questions like that.

“Well, the time went on, and it began to be cold weather. I noticed this

sooner than the other fellows, I think, because whereas most of them

went to offices during the daytime, I stayed home at Mrs. Vesey's,

trying to write in my narrow coop of a top bedroom. You know how

depressing an instrument a typewriter is when your hands are cold. I

haven't forgotten some dreary vigils I had up there, struggling to write

short stories. Sometimes I used to give it up weakly, and go round to

Larsen's, where it was always warm and cozy, to drink herb coffee and

eat those brittle Swedish biscuits and chat with Gloria. I used to

complain to her about the cold in my room, and she would laugh and say

that I just ought to try a winter in Sweden.

“'Swedish exercises,' she would say. 'That's the thing to stir up your

blood! They'll keep you warm.'

“And then, in her enchanting way, she would tell me a new one, and if

there were no customers (as there generally weren't in the middle of

the afternoon) she would illustrate how it should be done. Sometimes she

would even allow me what she called a Swedish kiss--a very fleeting

and provocative embrace. And then I would show her my new perfection in

doing the backward stoop or some such muscular oddity, and return to my

cold citadel.

“But in spite of the fact that we were all busy much of the time going

through our manual of exercises, presently the chill of Mrs. Vesey's

lodgings became severe. Mrs. Vesey was a rather obstinate and frugal old

dear, and she herself dwelt down in the kitchen, where her big gas-range

kept her comfortable. When we complained of the cold, she had all sorts

of excuses for postponing lighting the furnace. There was a big coal

strike that year, and she was quite right in suspecting that once her

present supply was exhausted it would be very hard to get more. Also,

she said, her furnace man had quit, but she was hunting for another. On

one pretext or another, she kept on putting us off, until finally it was

mid-November, and we were doing our exercises in rooms where our breath

showed like clouds of fog. And then one day Mrs. Vesey came up in great

glee to say that a coal man had called that very morning, of his own

accord, and had offered to give her five tons. She had promptly snapped

at the chance, and he had put the coal in the cellar; so we should have

heat the very next day, when the new furnace man was expected.

“Naturally we were all cheered by this good news. We sped round to

Larsen's restaurant in high spirits, and adored our divinity with even

more than usual abandon.

“'Now my fingers will be warm again, Gloria,' I said, 'I'll be able to

write some more poems about you.'

“'Yes,' cried Blackmore, 'and now it will be warm enough for you to

come and pose for me in my lovely attic at Mrs. Vesey's. If you had come

before, I should have called my painting “The Chilblain Venus.”'

“'Silly boys!' said Gloria, with that delicious, soft Swedish accent

which I can't even try to imitate. 'You are hot-blooded enough as it is.

You don't need all that warming up. Look at us vegetarians; you make fun

of us, but our lentils keep our blood circulating. Try Brussels sprouts;

they are full of calories.'

“'Ah!' we shouted. 'But you seem to keep this place warm enough.'

“Old Larsen, who passed through the room just then, broke in crossly:

“'We have to, for the sake of the customers,' he said. 'Gloria, stop

fooling with the gentlemen and attend to business.' He seemed in a bad

humour that night.

“The next day must have been some sort of holiday, for I know we all

went out to see a football game. We got back about supper-time and found

the house perishing chill. With shouts and protests we called Mrs. Vesey

from her kitchen, but she explained that the expected furnace man had

not turned up.

“'Well,' said Blackmore, 'this can't go on any longer, Mrs. Vesey. I'll

go down and light the fire myself. We'll take turns and keep it going

till your man comes.'

“He ran down to the basement, but a minute later he was up again.

“'Mrs. Vesey,' he shouted, 'what is all this nonsense? Are you kidding

us? There's no coal down there at all!'

“'No coal?' she exclaimed. 'Why, there was a good three or four tons,

and the man said he put five tons more in yesterday. I heard him do

it--never heard such a noise in my life. I paid him ten dollars a ton.

“'Impossible!' Blackmore cried, angrily. 'There's not enough down there

to fry Nemo with. About three shovelfuls, that's all. What is this--some

kind of a game to freeze us out?'

“Mrs. Vesey wrung her hands, and we all ran down to the cellar. It was

as Blackmore had said. The bins were empty, save for a few lumps.”

Dove gazed down thoughtfully at the coal office on the pier below us,

where a wagon was loading.

“On a mellow afternoon like this,” he said, “coal doesn't seem quite

so pressing a concern; but I tell you, in a bleak boarding-house about

Thanksgiving time, with no heat of any sort available but a gas-jet, it

is a different matter. We were an angry and puzzled lot that night. Mrs.

Vesey protested so pitifully that there had been coal in the bins only

the day before, and asserted so repeatedly that she had heard the

noise of the new load going in, that we could not help believe her. She

promised to call up her coal man the first thing the next morning, and

we also agreed to go round and visit him in a body, to add our personal

appeals; but how on earth several tons of coal could have been stolen

out of the cellar without any one hearing it seemed to us a mystery.

“The next morning we visited the coal-dealer _en masse_--in a coalition,

as Blackmore said--and by spirited imprecation and paying cash we

extracted a promise to have a couple of tons sent at once. His office

was some distance up on Columbus Avenue, and on our way back we passed

through one of the cross-streets--Eighty-Third, I think it was, because

one of us wanted to get some stamps at the post-office. As we came

along, we heard the rumble of coal passing down a chute, and saw a

coal-wagon in the distance.

“'There's somebody in luck,' said one.

“'But what an odd-looking coal-wagon,' said another, as we approached.

“It was a large motor-truck with a hinged metal top, something like a

huge street-cleaning cart. The engine was throbbing, and the coal was

roaring noisily in the chute, which led down into the cellar window of

a brownstone dwelling. The chute, instead of being the customary shallow

trough, was a large circular pipe, so that we could not actually see the

coal pouring downward, but only hear it crashing through the metal

tube. That struck me as a good idea for preventing the coal-dust from

spreading over everything near.

“But we were all interested not only in the odd appearance of the truck,

but in the extraordinary din it caused. Delivering coal is never a

silent job, naturally; but this racket was really terrific. The driver

seemed to have left his engine running full tilt, and the whole truck

quivered and shook with the power. We stood amazed at the furious rattle

and uproar. The noise was too great for spoken words to be caught, but I

pointed out the circular chute to Blackmore. It was made in telescoping

sections, to slide into itself, and was an interesting novelty.

“It occurred to me that this dealer, whoever he might be--there was no

name on the truck--could perhaps let Mrs. Vesey have some coal. We could

see the feet of the driver, who was standing on the other side of the

truck, and I went round to speak to him. It was a stocky man with a

flowing bush of black beard and wearing a suit of very grimy overalls.

At the top of my voice I yelled:

“'Got any coal to sell?'

“He shook his head in a surly way and turned his back on me.

“I could not tell from his gesture whether he had answered my question,

or was indicating that he could not hear; so I shouted at him again.

“At the same time I noticed Blackmore and the others gathered at the

cellar window, looking in curiously over the slope of the delivery

pipe. The coal man seized a lever and shut off his power, for the engine

stopped, and after a little sliding and rumbling in the tube the racket

ceased. He picked up a shovel and ran to the group by the chute.

“'Here, let that alone!' he cried, angrily. “'Keep your shirt on,' said

Blackmore. 'We're just looking at this outfit of yours. It makes a devil

of a noise. Regular public nuisance, I call it!' '“It's none of your

affair,' said the man. 'Keep out of what don't concern you.'

“He returned to his truck, pulled a handle, and the roar of the coal

began again. I was standing near him, while the others were on the

opposite side of the wagon, so I was the only one to see a curious

thing. There were several revolving cogwheels at the side of the truck,

and in his irritation, I suppose the driver stooped over them too

closely. At any rate, his beard caught in the cogs, and I gave a cry of

dismay, thinking he would be cruelly hurt. To my amazement the beard was

whisked quickly from his face, and I saw that he was Larsen. He looked

at me with an expression of alarm and anger that was laughable.

“'When did you turn coal-dealer?' I shouted. But at this moment

Blackmore, who was still bending over the chute, sprang up and ran round

to us. He, too, was staggered to see the identity of the driver. He

dragged me a few paces away and shouted in my ear.

“'Damn queer business,' he said. 'That coal isn't going in. It's coming

out!'

“'What the deuce do you mean?' I said.

“'Just what I say. He's got some sort of a suction engine in that truck,

a kind of big vacuum cleaner, and he's simply siphoning the coal out of

somebody's cellar.'

“Larsen ran at us with a big spanner in his hand, but we grappled with

him, and while three of us held him the others examined the truck. It

was perfectly true. By an ingenious gasoline pump installed in the wagon

he was drawing out the coal. Looking into the top of the wagon through a

little glass peephole, we could see the black nuggets coming swiftly up

out of the chute. By this time a little crowd had gathered, and the lady

of the house ran out to see what was happening. I think she thought we

were trying to seduce her coal supply. She explained angrily to us that

Larsen had driven up to her door half an hour before and offered to sell

her several tons of coal. Her cellar, like everyone else's, was none too

well stocked, and she had been delighted to agree.

“While we were wondering just what to do, Larsen, who had been glaring

wickedly at us, broke away from our grasp and reversed his machinery

so that the coal began to thunder back honestly into the cellar. The

puzzled woman, not suspecting anything wrong, went back indoors after we

made some impromptu explanation for the fuss. Larsen's amputated black

beard whirled round and round, still adhering to the rolling cogs, as

we watched, while he stood by sullenly. We walked away down the block

to hold a council, and also to let the group of mystified onlookers

disperse. Of course, our first thought was to go for the police; but

then we thought of Gloria.”

Dove sighed, and tapped out his long-expired pipe.

“Well,” he said, “that's pretty near the end of the story. I'm afraid

association with Beauty blunts the sense of rectitude. No, we didn't do

anything about it, except see to it that Larsen put back that coal

in the cellar. I suppose we were really accessory to a misdemeanour,

because we gathered from some small paragraphs we saw in the papers that

a number of householders in that neighbourhood had been mysteriously

robbed of their coal. To tell you the truth, we couldn't bear the

thought of taking any action that would ruin Gloria's happiness. What

were a few tons of black, filthy coal compared to that serene and

golden-white beauty of hers, like some princess in a Norse fairy tale?

The old man was a lunatic, we supposed, and would come to grief sooner

or later. We were not going to be the ones to bring humiliation upon

him.

“We walked back, stricken, to our lodgings; and as we passed the

Physical Culture Chophouse we looked furtively through the window. We

could see Gloria laying the tables for lunch, the tall, strong curve

of her back as she leaned over, her capable white hands smoothing the

cloth. None of us had the heart to go in.

“We clubbed together to pay for Mrs. Vesey's new supply of coal,

although it broke our pocket-books for the next month or so. We were

too hard up, then, to go on eating at Larsen's. We had to patronize a

lunch-counter instead, where we gloomed over frankfurters and beans

and quarrelled with one another, in sheer misery, as to which one of us

Gloria had really liked best. We never saw her again, because about a

week later the Larsen café shut up, and they disappeared.”

“And the calisthenics?” I said. “Did you go on with those?”

“No,” he said; “we were too melancholy. Also, as soon as Mrs. Vesey's

coal arrived, we didn't need to. That was the terrible part of it. You

see, Gloria had simply egged us on to do those exercises so that we

wouldn't feel the chill when her father stole the coal. I'm afraid she

was as guilty as he was, but we tried to convince ourselves that she was

only a tool.”

We got up from our bench, for the afternoon air was growing bleak.

“Now you know,” he said, “why that coal-dump down there reminded me of

Gloria. Well, it was wonderful while it lasted--until, as you might say,

the serpent drove us out of our Garden of Sweden.”

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