"Who be these, sir?"
"Fellows to mount a bank. Did your instructer
In the dear tongues never discourse to you
Of the Italian mountebanks?"
"Yes, sir."
"Why here you shall see one."
"They are quacksalvers,
Fellows that live by venting oils and drugs."
VOLPONE.
The council had been summoned to meet on the morning following that of
the incidents related in the last chapter, and the members were now
accordingly assembling, soon after breakfast, at the Proprietary
mansion. The arrival of one or two gentlemen on horseback with their
servants, added somewhat to the bustle of the stable yard, which was
already the scene of that kind of busy idleness and lounging occupation
so agreeable to the menials of a large establishment. Here, in one
quarter, a few noisy grooms were collected around the watering troughs,
administering the discipline of the curry-comb or the wash bucket to
some half score of horses. In a corner of the yard Dick Pagan the
courier and Willy o' the Flats, with the zeal of amateur vagrants, were
striving to cozen each other out of their coppers at the old game of
Cross and Pile; whilst, in an opposite direction, Derrick was
exhibiting to a group of spectators, amongst whom the young heir
apparent was a prominent personage, a new set of hawk bells just
brought by the Olive Branch from Dort, and lecturing, with a learned
gravity, upon their qualities, to the infinite edification and delight
of his youthful pupil. Slouching fox hounds, thick-lipped mastiffs and
wire-haired terriers mingled indiscriminately amongst these groups, as
if confident of that favouritism which is the universal privilege of
the canine race amongst good tempered persons and contented idlers all
the world over. Whilst the inhabitants of the yard were engrossed with
these occupations, a trumpet was heard at a distance in the direction
of the town. The blast came so feebly upon the ear as, at first, to
pass unregarded, but being repeated at short intervals, and at every
repetition growing louder, it soon arrested the general attention, and
caused an inquiry from all quarters into the meaning of so unusual an
incident.
"Fore God, I think that there be an alarm of Indians in the town!"
exclaimed the falconer as he spread his hand behind his ear and
listened for some moments, with a solemn and portentous visage. "Look
to it, lads--there may be harm afoot. Put up thy halfpence, Dick Pagan,
and run forward to seek out the cause of this trumpeting. I will wager
it means mischief, masters."
"Indians!" said Willy; "Derrick's five wits have gone on a fool's
errand ever since the murder of that family at the Zachaiah fort by the
salvages. If the Indians were coming you should hear three guns from
Master Randolph Brandt's look-out on the Notley road. It is more likely
there may be trouble at the gaol with the townspeople, for there was a
whisper afloat yesterday concerning a rescue of the prisoners. Troth,
the fellow has a lusty breath who blows that trumpet!"
"Ay, and the trumpet," said Derrick, "is not made to dance with,
masters: there is war and throat-cutting in it, or I am no true man."
During this short exchange of conjectures, Dick Pagan had hastened to
the gate which opened towards the town, and mounting the post, for the
sake of a more extensive view, soon discerned the object of alarm,
when, turning towards his companions, he shouted,
"Wounds,--but here's a sight! Pike and musket, belt and saddle, boys!
To it quickly;--you shall have rare work anon. Wake up the ban dogs of
the fort and get into your harness. Here comes the Dutch Doctor with
his trumpeter as fierce as the Dragon of Wantley. Buckle to and stand
your ground!"
"Ho, ho!" roared the fiddler with an impudent, swaggering laugh.
"Here's a pretty upshot to your valours! Much cry and little wool, like
the Devil's hog-shearing at Christmas. You dullards, couldn't I have
told you it was the Dutch Doctor,--if your fright had left you but a
handful of sense to ask a question? Didn't I see both him and his
trumpeter last night at the Crow and Archer, with all their jin-gumbobs
in a pair of panniers? Oh, but he is a rare Doctor, and makes such
cures, I warrant you, as have never been seen, known or heard of since
the days of St. Byno, who built up his own serving man again, sound as
a pipkin, after the wild beasts had him for supper."
The trumpet now sent forth a blast which terminated in a long flourish,
indicating the approach of the party to the verge within which it might
not be allowable to continue such a clamour; and in a few moments
afterwards the Doctor with his attendant entered the stable yard. He
was a little, sharp-featured, portly man, of a brown, dry complexion,
in white periwig, cream-coloured coat, and scarlet small clothes: of a
brisk gait, and consequential air, which was heightened by the pompous
gesture with which he swayed a gold-mounted cane full as tall as
himself. His attendant, a bluff, burly, red-eyed man, with a singularly
stolid countenance, tricked out in a grotesque costume, of which a
short cloak, steeple-crowned hat and feather, and enormous nether
garments, all of striking colours, were the most notable components,
bore a brass trumpet suspended on one side, and a box of no
inconsiderable dimensions in front of his person; and thus furnished,
followed close at the heels of the important individual whose coming
had been so authentically announced.
No sooner had the Doctor got fairly within the gate than he was met by
Derrick Brown, who, being the most authoritative personage in the yard,
took upon himself the office of giving the stranger welcome.
"Frents, how do you do?" was the Doctor's accost in a strong, Low Dutch
method of pronouncing English. "I pelieve dis is not de gate I should
have entered to see his Lordship de Lord Proprietary," he added,
looking about him with some surprise to find where he was.
"If it was my Lord you came to see," said the falconer, "you should
have turned to your right, and gone by the road which leads to the
front of the house. But the way you have come is no whit the longer: we
can take you through, Master Doctor, by the back door."
"Vell, vell, dere is noding lost by peing acquainted at once wid de
people of de house," replied the man of medicine; "dere is luck to make
your first entrance by de pack door, as de old saying is. I vas
summoned dis morning to appear before de council, py my Lord's order;
and so, I thought I might trive a little pusiness, at de same time, wid
de family."
"I told you all," said Willy, with an air of self-importance at his own
penetration, "that this was a rare doctor. The council hath sent for
him! my Lord hath made it a state matter to see him. It isn't every
doctor that comes before the worshipful council, I trow. Give him
welcome, boys, doff your beavers."
At this command several of the domestics touched their hats, with a
gesture partly in earnest and partly in sport, as if expecting some
diversion to follow.
"No capping to me, my frents!" exclaimed the Doctor, with a bow,
greatly pleased at these tokens of respect; "no capping to me! Pusiness
is pusiness, and ven I come to sell you tings dat shall do you goot, I
tank you for your custom and your money, widout asking you to touch
your cap."
"There is sense in that," said John Alward; "and since you come to
trade in the yard, Doctor, you can show us your wares. There is a penny
to be picked up here."
"Open your box, Doctor; bring out your pennyworths; show us the
inside!" demanded several voices at once.
"Ha, ha!" exclaimed the vender of drugs, "you are wise, goot frents;
you know somewhat! You would have a peep at my aurum potabiles in dat
little casket--my multum in parvo? Yes, you shall see, and you shall
hear what you have never seen pefore, and shall not in your long lives
again."
"Have you e'er a good cleansing purge for a moulting hawk?" inquired
Derrick Brown, whilst the doctor was unlocking the box.
"Or a nostrum that shall be sure work on a horse with a farcy?" asked
one of the grooms.
"Hast thou an elixir that shall expel a lumbago?" demanded John Alward:
all three speaking at the same instant.
"Tib, the cook," said a fourth, "has been so sore beset with cramps,
that only this morning she was saying, in her heart she believed she
would not stop to give the paste buckle that Tom Oxcart gave her for a
token at Whitsuntide, for a cordial that would touch a cold stomach. I
will persuade her into a trade with the Doctor."
"Oh, as for the women," replied a fifth, "there isn't a wench in my
Lord's service that hasn't a bad tooth, or a cold stomach, or a
tingling in the ears, or some such ailing: it is their nature--they
would swallow the Doctor's pack in a week, if they had license."
The man of nostrums was too much employed in opening out his
commodities to heed the volley of questions which were poured upon him
all round, but having now put himself in position for action, he
addressed himself to his auditors:
"I vill answer all your questions in goot time; but I must crave your
leave, frents, to pegin in de order of my pusiness. Dobel," he said,
turning to his attendant, who stood some paces in the rear, "come
forward and pegin."
The adjutant at this command stepped into the middle of the ring, and
after making several strange grimaces, of which at first view his
countenance would have been deemed altogether incapable, and bowing in
three distinct quarters to the company, commenced the following speech:
"Goot beoplish!"--this was accompanied with a comic leer that set the
whole yard in a roar--"dish ish de drice renowned und ingomprbl Doctor
Closh Tebor"--another grimace, and another volley of laughter--"what
ish de grand pheseeshan of de greate gofernor of New York, Antony
Prockolls, und lives in Alpany in de gofernor's own pallash, wid doo
tousand guilders allowed him py de gofernor everich yeere, und a goach
to rite, und a pody-cart to go pefore him in de sthreets ven he valks
to take de air. All tish to keepe de gofernor und his vrouw de Laty
Katerina Prockholls in goot healf--noding else--on mein onor." This was
said with great emphasis, the speaker laying his hand on his heart and
making a bow, accompanied with a still more ludicrous grimace than any
he had yet exhibited, which brought forth a still louder peal from his
auditory.
He was about to proceed with his commendatory harangue, when he was
interrupted by Benedict Leonard. It seems that upon the first
announcement by the Doctor of the purport of his visit, the youth,
fearful lest his mother, who was constitutionally subject to alarm,
might have been disturbed by the trumpet, ran off to apprise her of
what he had just witnessed; and giving her the full advantage of
Willy's exaggerated estimate of the travelling healer of disease,
returned, by the lady's command, to conduct this worthy into her
presence. He accordingly now delivered his message, and forthwith
master and man moved towards the mansion, with the whole troop of the
stable yard at their heels.
The itinerant was introduced into Lady Baltimore's presence in a small
parlour, where she was attended by two little girls, her only children
beside the boy we have noticed, and the sister of the Proprietary. Her
pale and emaciated frame and care-worn visage disclosed to the
practised glance of the visiter a facile subject for his delusive
art,--a ready votary of that credulous experimentalism which has filled
the world with victims to medical imposture. In the professor of
medicine's reverence to the persons before him there was an
overstrained obsequiousness, but, at the same time, an expression of
imperturbable confidence fully according with the ostentatious
pretension which marked his demeanour amongst the menials of the
household. Notwithstanding his broad accent, he spoke with a ready
fluency that showed him well skilled in that voluble art by which, at
that day, the workers of wonderful cures and the possessors of
infallible elixirs advertised the astonishing virtues of their
compounds--an art which has in our time only changed its manner of
utterance, and now announces its ridiculous pretensions in every
newspaper of every part of our land, in whole columns of mountebank
lies and quack puffery.
"This is the great Doctor," said Benedict Leonard, who now acted as
gentleman usher, "and he has come I can't tell how far, to see who was
ailing in our parts. I just whispered to him, dear mother, what a
famous good friend you were to all sorts of new cures. And oh, it would
do you good to see what a box of crankums he has in the hall! Yes, and
a man to carry it, with a trumpet! Blowing and physicking a plenty now,
to them that like it! How the man bears such a load, I can't guess."
"Dobel has a strong back and a steady mule for his occasions, my pretty
poy," said the Doctor, patting the heir apparent on the head, with a
fondness of manner that sensibly flattered the mother. "When we would
do goot, master, we must not heed de trouble to seek dem dat stand in
need of our ministrations over de world."
The lady's feeble countenance lit up with a sickly smile as she
remonstrated with the boy. "Bridle thy tongue, Benedict, nor suffer it
to run so nimbly. We have heard, Doctor, something of your fame, and
gladly give you welcome."
"Noble lady," replied the pharmacopolist, "I am but a simple and poor
Doctor, wid such little fame as it has pleased Got to pestow for mine
enteavours to miticate de distemperatures and maladies and infirmities
which de fall of man, in de days of Adam, de august progenitor of de
human races, has prought upon all his children. And de great happiness
I have had to make many most wonderful cures in de provinces of
America, made me more pold to hope I might pring some assuagement and
relief to your ladyship, who, I have peen told, has peen grievously
tormented wid perturbations and melancholics; a very common affection
wid honourable ladies."
"Alack, Doctor, my affections come from causes which are beyond the
reach of your art," said the lady with a sigh. "Still, it would please
me to hear the cures you speak of. You have, doubtless, had great
experience?"
"You shall hear, my lady. I am not one of dat rabble of pretenders what
travel apout de world to cry up and magnify dere own praises. De Hemel
is mij getuige,--Heaven is my chudge, and your ladyship's far renowned
excellent wisdom forbids dat you should be imposed upon by dese cheats
and impostors denominated--and most justly, on my wort!--charlatans and
empirical scaramouches. De veritable merit in dis world is humble, my
lady. I creep rader in de dust, dan soar in de clouts:--it is in my
nature. Oders shall speak for me--not myself."
"But you have seen the world, Doctor, and studied, and served in good
families?"
"Your ladyship has great penetration. I have always lived in friendship
wid worshipful peoples. De honourable Captain General Anthony
Brockholls, de governor of de great province of New York,--hah! dere
was nopody could please him but Doctor Debor. Night and day, my lady,
for two years, have I peen physicking his excellency and all his
family:--de governor is subject to de malady of a pad digestion and
crudities which gives him troublesome dreams. I have studied in de
school of Leyden--dree courses, until I could find no more to learn;
and den I have travelled in France, Germany, and Italy, where I took a
seat in de great University of Padua, for de penefit of de lectures of
dat very famous doctor, Veslingius, de prefect, your ladyship shall
understand, and professor of botany, a most rare herbalist. And dere
also I much increased and enriched my learning under de wing of dat
astonishing man, de grave and profound Doctor Athelsteinus Leonenas, de
expounder of de great secrets of de veins and nerves. You shall chudge,
honourable ladies, what was my merit, when I tell you de University
would make me Syndicus Artistarum, only dat I refused so great honour,
pecause I would not make de envy of my compeers. Did I not say true
when I tell you it is not my nature to soar in de clouts?"
"Truly the Doctor hath greatly slighted his fame," said the Lady Maria
apart to her kinswoman. "I would fain know what you have in your pack."
"Worshipful madam, you shall soon see," replied the Doctor, who now
ordered Dobel, his man, into the room. "Here," he said, as he pointed
to the different parcels, "are balsamums, panaceas, and elixirs. Dis is
a most noted alexipharmacum against quartan agues, composed of many
roots, herps and spices; dis I call de lampas vitae, an astonishing
exhilirator and promoter of de goot humours of de mind, and most
valuable for de rare gift of clear sight to de old, wid many oder
virtues I will not stop to mention. Dese are confections, electuaries,
sirups, conserves, ointments, odoraments, cerates, and gargarisms, for
de skin, for de stomach, for de pruises and wounds, for de troat, and
every ting pesides. Ah! here, my lady, is de great lapour of my life,
de felicity and royal reward--as I may say--of all my studies: it is de
most renowned and admired and never-to-be-estimated Medicamentum
Promethei, which has done more penefactions dan all de oder simples and
compounds in de whole pharmacopeia of medicine. Your ladyship shall
take but one half of dis little phial, when you will say more for its
praise dan I could speak widout peing accounted a most windy,
hyperbolical and monstrous poaster--ha, waarachtig! I will speak
noting. Dat wise and sagacious and sapient man, de great governor and
captain, Antony Brockholls, has given me in my hand so much as five
ducatoons,--yes, my lady, five ducatoons for dat little glass, two
hours after a dinner of cold endives--Ik spreek a waarachtiglik--I
speak you truly, my lady: and now I give it away for de goot of de
world and mine own glory, at no more dan one rix dollar,--five
shillings. I do not soar in de clouts?"
"Can you describe its virtues, Doctor?" inquired the lady.
"Mine honoured madam, dey are apundant, and I shall not lie if I say
countless and widout number. First, it is a great enemy to plack
choler, and to all de affections of de spleen, giving sweet sleep to de
eyelids dat have peen kept open py de cares and sufferings and
anxieties of de world. It will dispel de charms of witchcraft, magic
and sorcery, and turn away de stroke of de evil eye. It corroborates de
stomach py driving off de sour humours of de pylorus, and cleansing de
diaphram from de oppilations which fill up and torpefy de pipes of de
nerves. And your ladyship shall observe dat, as nature has supplied and
adapted particular plants and herps to de maladies of de several parts
of de animal pody, as,--not to be tedious,--aniseeds and calamint for
de head, hysop and liquorice for de lungs, borage for de heart, betony
for de spleen, and so on wid de whole pody--dis wonderful medicament
contains and possesses in itself someting of all, being de great
remedy, antidote and expeller of all diseases, such as vertigine,
falling sickness, cramps, catalepsies, lumbagos, rheums, inspissations,
agitations, hypocondrics, and tremorcordies, whedder dey come of de
head, de heart, de liver, de vena cava, de mesentery or de pericardium,
making no difference if dey be hot or cold, dry or moist, or proceeding
from terrestrial or genethliacal influences, evil genitures, or vicious
aspects of de stars--it is no matter--dey all vanish pefore de great
medicamentum. You must know, my lady, dis precious mixture was de great
secret--de arcanum mirificabile--of dat wonderful Arabian physician
Hamech, which Paracelsus went mad wid cudgelling his prains to find
out; and Avicenna and Galen and Trismegistus and Moderatus Columella
all proke down in deir search to discover de meaning of de learned
worts in which Hamech wrote de signification. De great Swammerdam,
hoch! what would he not give Doctor Debor for dat secret! I got it, my
lady, from a learned Egyptian doctor, who took it from an eremite of
Arabia Felix. It was not my merit, so much as my goot fortune. I am
humble, my lady, and do not poast, but speak op't woord van een eerlyk
man."
"He discourses beyond our depth," said Lady Baltimore, greatly puzzled
to keep pace with the learned pretensions of the quack; "and yet I dare
say there is virtue in these medicines. What call you your great
compound, Doctor? I have forgotten its name."
"De Medicamentum Promethei," replied the owner of this wonderful
treasure, pleased with the interest taken in his discourse. "Your
ladyship will comprehend from your reading learned pooks, dat
Prometheus was a great headen god, what stole de fire from Heaven,
whereby he was able to vivicate and reluminate de decayed and worn-out
podies of de human families, and in a manner even to give life to de
images of clay; which is all, as your good ladyship discerns, a
fabulous narration, or pregnant fable, as de scholars insinuate. And
moreover, de poets and philosophers say dat same headen god was very
learned in de knowledge of de virtues of plants and herps, which your
ladyship will remark is de very consistence and identification of de
noble art of pharmacy. Well den, dis Prometheus, my lady--ha, ha!--was
some little bit of a juggler, and was very fond of playing his
legerdemains wid de gods, till one day de great Jupiter, peing angry
wid his jocularities and his tricks, caused him to be chained to a
rock, wid a hungry vulture always gnawing his liver; and dere he was in
dis great misery, till his pody pined away so small dat his chain would
not hold him, and den, aha! he showed Jupiter a goot pair of heels,
like an honest fellow, and set apout to find de medicines what should
renovate and patch up his liver, which you may be sure he did, my lady,
in a very little while. Dis again is anoder fable, to signify dat he
was troubled wid a great sickness in dat part of his pody. Now, my
lady, see how well de name significates de great virtues of my
medicament, which, in de first place, is a miraculous restorer of
health and vigour and life to de feeble spirits of de pody: dere's de
fire. Second, it is composed of more dan one hundred plants, roots, and
seeds, most delicately distilled, sublimed and suffumigated in a
limbeck of pure virgin silver, and according to de most subtle
projections of alchemy: and dere your ladyship shall see de knowledge
of de virtues of plants and de most consummate art of de concoctions.
And now for de last significance of de fable: dis medicament is a
specific of de highest exaltation for de cure, which never fails, of
all distemperatures of de liver; not to say dat it is less potent to
overcome and destroy all de oder diseases I have mentioned, and many
more. Dere you see de whole Medicamentum Promethei, which I sell to
worshipful peoples for one rix dollar de phial. Is it not well named,
my lady, and superlative cheap? I give it away: de projection alone
costs me more dan I ask for de compound."
"The name is curiously made out," said the lady, "and worthily, if the
virtue of the compound answer the description. But your cures, you have
not yet touched upon them. I long to hear what notable feats you have
accomplished in that sort."
"My man Dobel shall speak," replied the professor. "De great Heaven
forpid I should pe a poaster to de ears of such honourable ladies!
Dobel, rehearse de great penefaction of de medicament upon de excellent
and discreet and virtuous vrouw of Governor Brockholls--Spreek op eene
verstaanbare wijze!"
"Hier ben ik," answered Dobel to this summons, stepping at the same
time into the middle of the room and erecting his person as stiffly as
a grenadier on parade: "Goot beoplish! dish ish de drice renowned und
ingomprbl Doctor Closh Tebor----"
"Stop, stop, hou stil! halt--volslagen gek!" exclaimed the Doctor,
horrified at the nature of the harangue his stupid servitor had
commenced, and which for a moment threatened to continue, in spite of
the violent remonstrance of the master, Dobel persevering like a thing
spoken from rather than a thing that speaks--"Fool, jack-pudding! you
pelieve yourself on a bank, up on a stage, before de rabble rout? You
would disgrace me before honourable and noble ladies, wid your tavern
howlings, and your parkings and your pellowings! Out of de door,
pegone!"
The imperturbable and stolid trumpeter, having thus unfortunately
incurred his patron's ire, slunk from the parlour, utterly at a loss to
comprehend wherein he had offended. The Doctor in the mean while,
overwhelmed with confusion and mortified vanity, bustled towards the
door and there continued to vent imprecations upon the unconscious
Dobel, which, as they were uttered in Low Dutch, were altogether
incomprehensible to the company, but at the same time were sufficiently
ludicrous to produce a hearty laugh from the Lady Maria, and even to
excite a partial show of merriment in her companion. Fortunately for
the Doctor, in the midst of his embarrassment, a messenger arrived to
inform him that his presence was required before the council, in
another part of the house, which order, although it deprived the ladies
of the present opportunity of learning the great efficacy of the
Medicamentum Promethei in the case of the wife of Governor Brockholls,
gave the Doctor a chance of recovering his self-possession by a retreat
from the apartment. So, after an earnest entreaty to be forgiven for
the inexpert address of his man, and a promise to resume his discourse
on a future occasion, he betook himself, under the guidance of the
messenger, to the chamber in which the council were convened.
Here sat the Proprietary, and Philip Calvert, the Chancellor, who were
now, with five or six other gentlemen, engaged in the transaction of
business of grave import.
Some depredations had been recently committed upon the English by the
Indians inhabiting the upper regions of the Susquehanna,--especially by
the Sinniquoes, who, in an incursion against the Piscattaways, a
friendly tribe in the vicinity of St. Mary's, had advanced into the low
country, where they had plundered the dwellings of the settlers and
even murdered two or three families. The victims of these outrages
happened to be Protestants, and Fendall's party availed themselves of
the circumstance, to excite the popular jealousy against Lord Baltimore
by circulating the report that these murders were committed by Papists
in disguise.
What was therefore but an ordinary though frightful incident of Indian
hostility, was thus exaggerated into a crime of deep malignity,
peculiarly calculated still more to embitter the party exasperations of
the day. This consideration rendered it a subject of eager anxiety, on
the part of the Council, to procure the fullest evidence of the hostile
designs of the Indians, and thus not only to enable the province to
adopt the proper measure for its own safety, but also confute the false
report which had imputed to the Catholics so absurd and atrocious a
design. A traveller by the name of Launcelot Sakel happened, but two or
three days before the present meeting of the Council, to arrive at the
port, where he put afloat the story of an intended invasion of the
province by certain Indians of New York, belonging to the tribes of the
Five Nations, and gave as his authority for this piece of news a Dutch
doctor, whom he had fallen in with on the Delaware, where he left him
selling nostrums, and who, he affirmed, was in a short space to appear
at St. Mary's. This story, with many particulars, was communicated to
the Proprietary, which induced the order to summon the Doctor to attend
the council as soon after his arrival as possible. In obedience to this
summons, our worthy was now in the presence of the high powers of the
province, not a little elated with the personal consequence attached to
his coming, as well as the very favourable reception he had obtained
from the ladies of the household. This consequence was even enhanced by
the suite of inquisitive domestics, who followed, at a respectful
distance, his movement towards the council chamber, and who, even
there, though not venturing to enter, were gathered into a group which
from the outside of the door commanded a view of the party within: in
the midst of these Willy of the Flats was by no means an unconspicuous
personage.
Lord Baltimore received the itinerant physician with that bland and
benignant accost which was habitual to him, and proceeded with brief
ceremony to interrogate him as to the purport of his visit. The answers
were given with a solemn self-complacency, not unmixed with that
shrewdness which was an essential attribute to the success of the
ancient quacksalver. He described himself as Doctor Claus Debor, a
native of Holland, a man of travel, enjoying no mean renown in New
York, and, for two years past, a resident of Albany. His chief design
in his present journey, he represented to be to disseminate the
blessings of his great medicament; whereupon he was about to launch
forth into an exuberant tone of panegyric, and had, in fact, already
produced a smile at the council board by some high wrought phrases
expressive of his incredible labour in the quest of his great secret,
when the Proprietary checked his career by a timely admonition.
"Ay, we do not seek to know thy merits as a physician, nor doubt the
great virtue of thy drugs, worthy Doctor; but in regard thereto, give
thee free permission to make what profit of them you reasonably may in
the province. Still, touching this license, I must entreat you, in
consideration that my Lady Baltimore has weak nerves, and cannot endure
rude noises, to refrain from blowing thy trumpet within hearing of this
mansion: besides, our people," he added, looking archly towards the
group of domestics, some of whom had now edged into the apartment, "are
somewhat faint-hearted at such martial sounds."
"By my troth!" said Willy, in a half whisper to his companions in the
entry; "my Lord hath put it to him for want of manners!--I thought as
much would come from his tantararas. Listen, you shall hear more anon.
Whist!--the Doctor puts on a face--and will have his say, in turn."
"Your very goot and admirable Lordship, mistranslates de significance
of my visit," said the Doctor, in his ambitious phrase; "for although I
most heartily tank your Lordship's bounty for de permission to sell my
inestimable medicament, and which--Got geve het--I do hope shall much
advantage my lady wid her weak nerfs and her ailments,--still, I come
to opey your most honourable Lordship's summons, which I make pold to
pelieve is concerned wid state matters pefore de high and noble
council."
"Well, and bravely spoken," said Willy; "and with a good face!--the
Doctor holds his own, masters."
"We would hear what you can tell touching a rumour brought to us by one
Master Launcelot Sakel, whom you saw at Christina Fort," said the
Proprietary.
"There is the point of the matter," whispered Willy, "all in an egg
shell."
"Dere is weighty news, my Lord," replied the Doctor. "I have goot
reason to pelieve dat de Nordern Indians of New York are meditating and
concocting mischief against your Lordship's province."
"Have a care to the truth of your report," said Colonel Talbot, rising
from his seat: "it may be worse for you if you be found to trifle with
us by passing current a counterfeit story, churned into consistence in
your own brain, out of the froth of idle, way-side gossipings. We have
a statute against the spreaders of false news."
"Heigh, heigh!--listen to that," said Willy, nudging one of the crowd
over whose shoulders he was peering into the room. "There's an outcome
with a witness!--there's a flanconade that shall make the Doctor
flutter!"
"If I am mendacious," replied the Doctor, "dat is, if I am forgetful of
mine respect for trute, dese honourable gentlemens shall teal wid me as
a lying pusy pody and pragmatical tale-bearer. Your Lordship shall
hear. It is put a fortnight ago, when I was making ready for dis
journey, in Alpany, I chanced to see in de town so many as two score,
perhaps fifty Indians, who were dere trading skins for powder and shot.
Dey reported demselves to be Sinniquoes, and said dey came to talk wid
de tribes furder back, to get deir help to fight against de
Piscattaways."
"Indeed!--there is probability in that report," said the Proprietary:
"well, and how had they sped? what was their success?"
"Some of de Five Nations,--I forget de name of de tribe, my Lord--it
might pe de Oneidas--dey told us, promised to march early de next
season;--in dere own worts, when de sap pegin to rise."
"In what force, did they say?"
"In large force, my Lord. De Piscattaways, dey said, were frents to my
Lord and de English,--and so dey should make clean work wid red and
white."
"What more?"
"Dey signified dat dey should have great help from de Delawares and
Susquehannocks, who, as I could make it out, wanted to go to war wid
your Lordship's peoples at once."
"True; and they have done so. The insolencies of these tribes are
already as much as we can endure. Did they find it easy to purchase
their powder and lead in Albany? I should hope that traffic would not
be allowed."
"My Lord, de traders do not much stop, when dey would turn a penny, to
reckon who shall get de loss, so dey get de profit. Dese same Indians I
saw afterwards in de town of New York, trading in de same way wid
Master Grimes, a merchant."
"Mischief will come of this," said the Proprietary, "unless it be
speedily taken in hand. What reason was given by the Northern Indians
for joining in this scheme?"
"I tink it was said," replied the Doctor, "dat your Lordship had not
made your treaties wid dem, nor sent dem presents, dese two years
past."
"True," interposed the Chancellor; "we have failed in that
caution--although I have more than once reminded your Lordship of its
necessity."
"It shall not be longer delayed," replied the Proprietary. "You are
sure, Doctor Debor, these were Sinniquoes you saw?"
"I only know dem by dere own report--I never heard de name pefore. My
man Dobel heard dem as well as me; wid your Lordship's permission I
shall ask him," said the Doctor, as he went to the door and directed
some of the domestics to call the man Dobel.
It happened that Dobel, after his disgrace, had kept apart from the
servants of the household, and was now lamenting his misfortune in a
voluntary exile on the green at the front door, where Willy of the
Flats having hastened to seek him, gave him the order to appear before
the council.
"Dobel, you are a made man," he said by way of encouragement; "your
master wants you to speak to their honours: and the honourable council
want to hear you, Dobel; and so does his Lordship. Hold up thy head,
Dobel, and speak for thy manhood--boldly and out, like a buckler man."
"Ya, ya," replied Dobel, whose acquirements in the English tongue were
limited to his professional advertisement of Doctor Debor's fame, and a
few slender fragments of phrases in common use. Thus admonished by
Willy, he proceeded doggedly to the Council Chamber, where as soon as
he entered, the Proprietary made a motion to him with his hand to
approach the table,--which Dobel interpreting into an order to deliver
his sentiments, he forthwith began in a loud voice--
"Goot beoplish! dish is de drice renowned und ingomprbl Doctor----"
Before he had uttered the name, the Doctor's hand was thrust across
Dobel's mouth and a volley of Dutch oaths rapped into his ears, at a
rate which utterly confounded the poor trumpeter, who was forcibly
expelled from the room, almost by a general order. When quiet was
restored,--for it may be imagined the scene was not barren of
laughter,--the Doctor made a thousand apologies for the stupidity of
his servant, and in due time received permission to retire, having
delivered all that he was able to say touching the matter in agitation
before the Proprietary.
The Council were for some time after this incident engaged in the
consideration of the conspiracy against the Proprietary, of which new
evidences were every day coming to light; and it was now resolved that
the matter should be brought into the notice of the judicial authority
at an early day.
The only circumstance which I have further occasion to notice, related
to a diversion which was not unusual at that day amongst the
inhabitants of the province, and which required the permission of the
Council. It was brought into debate by Colonel Talbot.
"Stark Whittle, the swordsman," he said, "has challenged Sergeant
Travers to play a prize at such weapons as they may select--and the
Sergeant accepts the challenge, provided it meet the pleasure of his
Lordship and the Council. I promised to be a patron to the play."
"It shall be as you choose," said the Proprietary. "This martial sport
has won favour with our people. Let it be so ordered that it tend not
to the breach of the peace. We commit it to your hands, Colonel
Talbot." The Council, assented and the necessary order was recorded on
the journal.