Our relief at the morality of the reassurance that man is not
promiscuous in his fancies must not blind us to the fact that he is (to
use the word coined by certain American writers to describe themselves)
something of a Varietist. Even those who say there is only one man or
woman in the world for them, find that it is not always the same man or
woman. It happens that our law permits us to study this phenomenon among
entirely law-abiding people. I know one lady who has been married five
times. She is, as might be expected, a wise, attractive, and interesting
woman. The question is, is she wise, attractive, and interesting because
she has been married five times, or has she been married five times
because she is wise, attractive, and interesting? Probably some of the
truth lies both ways. I also know of a household consisting of three
families, A having married first B, and then C, who afterwards married
D. All three unions were fruitful; so that the children had a change
both of fathers and mothers. Now I cannot honestly say that these and
similar cases have convinced me that people are the worse for a change.
The lady who has married and managed five husbands must be much
more expert at it than most monogamic ladies; and as a companion and
counsellor she probably leaves them nowhere. Mr Kipling's question,
"What can they know of England that only England know?"
disposes not only of the patriots who are so patriotic that they never
leave their own country to look at another, but of the citizens who are
so domestic that they have never married again and never loved anyone
except their own husbands and wives. The domestic doctrinaires are
also the dull people. The impersonal relation of sex may be judicially
reserved for one person; but any such reservation of friendship,
affection, admiration, sympathy and so forth is only possible to
a wretchedly narrow and jealous nature; and neither history nor
contemporary society shews us a single amiable and respectable character
capable of it. This has always been recognized in cultivated society:
that is why poor people accuse cultivated society of profligacy, poor
people being often so ignorant and uncultivated that they have nothing
to offer each other but the sex relationship, and cannot conceive why
men and women should associate for any other purpose.
As to the children of the triple household, they were not only on
excellent terms with one another, and never thought of any distinction
between their full and their half brothers and sisters; but they had
the superior sociability which distinguishes the people who live in
communities from those who live in small families.
The inference is that changes of partners are not in themselves
injurious or undesirable. People are not demoralized by them when they
are effected according to law. Therefore we need not hesitate to alter
the law merely because the alteration would make such changes easier.