When they were made sensible that Sir Condy was going to leave Castle
Rackrent for good and all, they set up a whillaluh that could be heard
to the farthest end of the street; and one fine boy he was, that my
master had given an apple to that morning, cried the loudest; but they
all were the same sorry, for Sir Condy was greatly beloved among the
childher, for letting them go a-nutting in the demesne without saying
a word to them, though my lady objected to them. The people in the
town, who were the most of them standing at their doors, hearing the
childher cry, would know the reason of it; and when the report was
made known the people one and all gathered in great anger against my
son Jason, and terror at the notion of his coming to be landlord over
them, and they cried, "No Jason! no Jason! Sir Condy! Sir Condy! Sir
Condy Rackrent forever!" and the mob grew so great and so loud I was
frightened, and made my way back to the house to warn my son to make
his escape or hide himself, for fear of the consequences. Jason would
not believe me till they came all round the house and to the windows
with great shouts; then he grew quite pale, and asked Sir Condy what
had he best do? "I'll tell you what you'd best do," said Sir Condy,
who was laughing to see his fright: "finish your glass first; then
let's go to the window and show ourselves, and I'll tell 'em, or you
shall if you please, that I'm going to the lodge for change of air for
my health, and by my own desire, for the rest of my days." "Do so,"
said Jason who never meant it should have been so, but could not
refuse him the lodge at this unseasonable time. Accordingly Sir Condy
threw up the sash and explained matters, and thanked all his friends,
and bid 'em look in at the punch-bowl, and observe that Jason and he
had been sitting over it very good friends; so the mob was content,
and he sent 'em out some whisky to drink his health, and that was the
last time his Honor's health was ever drunk at Castle Rackrent.
The very next day, being too proud, as he said to me, to stay an hour
longer in a house that did not belong to him, he sets off to the
lodge, and I along with him not many hours after. And there was great
bemoaning through all O'Shaughlin's Town, which I stayed to witness,
and gave my poor master a full account of when I got to the lodge. He
was very low and in his bed when I got there, and complained of a
great pain about his heart; but I guessed it was only trouble, and all
the business, let alone vexation, he had gone through of late; and
knowing the nature of him from a boy, I took my pipe, and while
smoking it by the chimney, began telling him how he was beloved and
regretted in the county, and it did him a deal of good to hear it.
"Your Honor has a great many friends yet, that you don't know of, rich
and poor in the country," says I; "for as I was coming along the road,
I met two gentlemen in their own carriages, who asked after you,
knowing me, and wanted to know where you was, and all about you, and
even how old I was: think of that!" Then he wakened out of his doze,
and began questioning me who the gentlemen were. And the next morning
it came into my head to go, unknown to anybody, with my master's
compliments, round to many of the gentlemen's houses where he and my
lady used to visit, and people that I knew were his great friends, and
would go to Cork to serve him any day in the year, and I made bold to
try to borrow a trifle of cash from them. They all treated me very
civil for the most part, and asked a great many questions very kind
about my lady and Sir Condy and all the family, and were greatly
surprised to learn from me Castle Rackrent was sold, and my master at
the lodge for health; and they all pitied him greatly, and he had
their good wishes, if that would do, but money was a thing they
unfortunately had not any of them at this time to spare. I had my
journey for my pains, and I, not used to walking, nor supple as
formerly, was greatly tired, but had the satisfaction of telling my
master, when I got to the lodge, all the civil things said by high and
low.
"Thady," says he, "all you've been telling me brings a strange thought
into my head: I've a notion I shall not be long for this world anyhow,
and I've a great fancy to see my own funeral afore I die." I was
greatly shocked at the first speaking, to hear him speak so light
about his funeral, and he to all appearances in good health, but
recollecting myself answered:--"To be sure it would be as fine a sight
as one could see, I dared to say, and one I should be proud to
witness; and I did not doubt his Honor's would be as great a funeral
as ever Sir Patrick O'Shaughlin's was, and such a one as that had
never been known in the county before or since." But I never thought
he was in earnest about seeing his own funeral himself, till the next
day he returns to it again. "Thady," says he, "as far as the wake
goes, sure I might without any great trouble have the satisfaction of
seeing a bit of my own funeral." "Well, since your Honor's Honor's so
bent upon it," says I, not willing to cross him, and he in trouble,
"we must see what we can do." So he fell into a sort of a sham
disorder, which was easy done, as he kept his bed and no one to see
him; and I got my shister, who was an old woman very handy about the
sick, and very skillful, to come up to the lodge to nurse him; and we
gave out, she knowing no better, that he was just at his latter end,
and it answered beyond anything; and there was a great throng of
people, men, women, and children, and there being only two rooms at
the lodge, except what was locked up full of Jason's furniture and
things, the house was soon as full and fuller than it could hold, and
the heat and smoke and noise wonderful great; and standing among them
that were near the bed, but not thinking at all of the dead, I was
startled by the sound of my master's voice from under the greatcoats
that had been thrown all at top, and I went close up, no one noticing.
"Thady," says he, "I've had enough of this; I'm smothering, and can't
hear a word of all they're saying of the deceased." "God bless you,
and lie still and quiet," says I, "a bit longer; for my shister's
afraid of ghosts and would die on the spot with fright, was she to see
you come to life all on a sudden this way without the least
preparation." So he lays him still, though well-nigh stifled, and I
made all haste to tell the secret of the joke, whispering to one and
t'other, and there was a great surprise, but not so great as we had
laid out it would. "And aren't we to have the pipes and tobacco, after
coming so far to-night?" said some; but they were all well enough
pleased when his Honor got up to drink with them, and sent for more
spirits from a shebean-house, where they very civilly let him have it
upon credit. So the night passed off very merrily, but to my mind Sir
Condy was rather upon the sad order in the midst of it all, not
finding there had been such a great talk about himself after his death
as he had always expected to hear.