Jan. 21 st.
Leave me alone. Don't torment me with wild letters. I do not love you. I
will not marry you. I cared for you sincerely as a friend, but what a
gulf there is between that and the abandonment of worship last year in
Jena. Only just that, just that breathless passion, would make me marry,
and I would never feel it for a man I am forced to pity. Is not worship
a looking up? a rapture of faith? I cannot look up to you. I have no
faith in you. Leave me alone.