Jena, Nov. 30th.
I counted up my money this morning to see if there would be enough to
take me to England, supposing some day I should wake up and find myself
no longer able to bear the silence. I know I should be mad if I went,
but sometimes one is mad. There was not nearly enough. The cheapest
route would cost more than comes in my way during a year. I have a ring
of my mother's with a diamond in it, my only treasure, that I might
sell. I never wear it; my red hands are not pretty enough for rings, so
it is only sentiment that makes it precious. And if it would take me to
you and give me just one half-hour's talk with you and sweep away the
icy fog that seems to be settling down on my soul and shutting out
everything that is wholesome and sweet, I am sure my darling mother,
whose one thought was always to make me happy, would say, 'Child, go and
sell it, and buy peace.'