Never yet has dawned its peer;
Up, and work! and then a nobler
In the future shall appear.
'Onward!' is the present's motto,
To a larger, higher life;
'Onward!' though the march be weary,
Though unceasing be the strife.
"Pitch not here thy tent, for higher
Doth the bright ideal shine,
And the journey is not ended
Till thou reach that height divine.
Upward! and above earth's vapors,
Glimpses shall to thee be given,
And the fresh and odorous breezes,
Of the very hills, of heaven."
[Footnote 1: Dr. Chalmers.]
Among the fixed principles which you should establish for your
government, by no means overlook _Honesty_ and _Integrity_. The
poet never uttered a truer word than that
"An honest man's the noblest work of God."
Honesty is approved and admired by God and man--by all in heaven,
and by all on earth. Even the corrupt swindler, in his heart,
respects an honest man, and stands abashed in his presence.
In all your actions, in all your dealings, let strict and rigid
honesty guide you. Never be tempted to swerve from its dictates,
even in the most trivial degree. There will be strong allurements
to entice you from this path. The appetite for gain--the voice
of avarice--will often whisper that honesty may be violated to
advantage. There will be times when it will seem that its dictates
may be placed aside--that a little dishonesty will be greatly to
your benefit. Believe not this syren song. This is the time you are
in the most danger of being deceived to your serious injury.
Although there may be occasions when you will seem actually to lose
by adhering to honesty, yet you should not shrink a hair's breadth.
Whatever you may lose, in a pecuniary point of view, at any time,
by a strict submission to honesty, you will make up an hundred-fold
in the long-run, by establishing and preserving a reputation for
integrity. Looking at it in simply a pecuniary point of view,
community will give their countenance, their patronage, and
business, much quicker to a man who has established a reputation for
honesty, than to one who is known, or suspected of being fraudulent
in his dealings. Every consideration which can bear upon the young,
religious, moral and pecuniary, unite to urge them to establish,
in the outset of life, the rule of unswerving _honesty_ and
_integrity_, as their constant guide. Let it not be forgotten, that
in every possible point of view, and in every conceivable condition
of things, it will always be true, that "Honesty is the best
policy."
I would have the young also cultivate and establish as it fixed
rule of life, a friendly and accommodating disposition. This is
all-essential to make their days pleasant and happy. Other virtues
will influence the world to respect you; but an affectionate
disposition will cause those with whom you have intercourse, to love
you. Those who wish the friendship and good will of others, must
themselves manifest a friendly disposition, and a spirit of
kindness. Whoever would be accommodated and assisted, must
themselves be accommodating, and ready to aid those who require it.
In all these things we see the wisdom of the Saviour's _golden
rule_--"All things whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you,
do ye even so unto them." Be kind, accommodating, loving, and
peaceful, in the whole current of your disposition, and the cup of
your life will be sweetened with peace and joy.
I exhort the young to adopt the noble motto of the coat-of-arms of
New York--"EXCELSIOR!"
"The shades of night were falling fast,
As through an Alpine village passed
A youth, who bore, 'mid snow and ice,
A banner with the strange device,
EXCELSIOR!"
Let it be the aim of every youth to lift aloft this glorious banner,
and soar _upward_ to a surpassing excellency. Let them seek to
_excel_ in all tilings high, and good. Let them never stoop to do
an evil act, nor degrade themselves to commit a wrong. But in their
principles, purposes, deeds, and words, let their great
characteristics be Truth, Goodness, and Usefulness!
"Be just and fear not!
Let all the ends thou aim'st at, be thy country's,
Thy God's, and Truth's!"
LECTURE III.
Selection of Associates.
"Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be
with them; for their heart studieth destruction, and their
lips talk of mischief."--Prov. xxiv. I, 2.
There is nothing more important to the youthful, or that should
receive more serious consideration at their hands, than the
selection of Associates. We are by nature social beings. We desire,
we seek, and enjoy, the society of our fellow-creatures. This trait
is strongly developed in the young. They yearn for each other's
companionship, and they must have it, or they pine away, and sink
into misanthropy. This disposition may properly be indulged; but
great care and prudence should be exercised in regard to it.
While mingling in each other's society, it is natural, almost
unavoidable, that the youthful should imbibe much of the leading
characteristics of their associates. Being highly imitative in our
nature, it is impossible to be on social and familiar terms with
others, for any great length of time, without copying somewhat of
their dispositions, ways, and habits.
Let a young man, however upright and pure, associate habitually with
those who are profane, Sabbath-breaking, intemperate, and
unprincipled--who are given to gambling, licentiousness, and every
low, brutal and wicked practice--and but a brief space of time will
elapse before he will fall into like habits himself, and become as
great an adept in iniquitous proceedings as the most thorough-paced
profligate among them. When a young woman associates with girls who
are idle, disrespectful and disobedient to parents--who are vulgar,
brazen-faced, loud talkers and laughers--whose chief occupation and
delight is to spin street-yarn, to run from house to house and store
to store, and walk the streets in the evening, instead of being at
home engaged in some useful occupation--whose whole conversation,
and thoughts, and dreams, relate to dress, and fashion, and gewgaws,
and trinkets, to adorn the person, utterly negligent of the
ornaments of the mind and heart--whose reading never extends to
instructive and useful books, but is confined exclusively to sickly
novels and silly love-stories;--how long will it be before she will
become as careless and good-for-nothing as they?
This predisposition of the young to imitate the characteristics of
those with whom they associate, has been so well and so long known,
that it has given rise to the old proverb--"Show me your company,
and I will show you your character." So perfectly did Solomon
understand this, that he uttered the wise maxim--"Make no friendship
with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go; lest
thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul."
The young should remember, that people will judge them by the
company they keep. This principle is perfectly correct. In selecting
their associates, they act _voluntarily_. They choose such as they
please. When they seek the society of the ignorant, the vulgar, the
profane and profligate, they give the best of reasons for believing
that they prefer profligacy and vulgarity to virtue and purity. To
what other conclusion can the observer come? If they preferred
virtue and purity, they would certainly seek pure and virtuous
associates. Hence society have adopted the very correct principle of
judging the young, by the character of their associates. If they
would be thought well of, they should strive to associate with those
who are known to be virtuous and good. However blameless and upright
young persons may have been, if they begin to associate with those
whose reputation is poor, and whose conduct is improper, they will
soon be esteemed no higher than their companions.
These reflections show the youthful how important it is, that their
associates should be of the right stamp. They should see the
necessity of _selecting_ their companions. The great difficulty with
the young is, that they leave this important matter altogether too
much to "chance." If they happen to fall into good company, it is
very well; and their associates and intimate friends will be likely
to be of that class. But if, unfortunately, they meet with the
vicious and unprincipled, and are, to any great extent, thrown in
their way, they are as likely to form intimacies with them as with
any others.
Such negligence is exceedingly unpromising and dangerous. Whoever
allows it, will be in far more danger of falling under the influence
of the vicious than the exemplary. Instead of this heedlessness,
they should carefully and thoughtfully _select_ their associates.
They should not be willing to form terms of intimacy with, every one
into whose society they may be casually thrown. They should inform
themselves of their tastes, habits, and reputation. And from the
circle of their acquaintance should choose those with whom they
would form terms of intimacy.
Be cautious to select aright. The entire career in after-life
depends very much on this. How many a young woman of fine
attractions has had her reputation injured, and her prospects for
life destroyed, by associating with those whose character and habits
proved to be bad. When once young women get a taint on their
reputation in this way, or in any other manner, it is exceedingly
difficult to wipe it out.
The ruin of multitudes of young men can be traced to the same
origin--a bad selection of associates. I have in my mind's eye now,
a case in point. A young man, born in this city, and known to most
of you, was naturally endowed with the rarest abilities and the
finest talents. He belonged to one of the most wealthy and
respectable families. He had every advantage for cultivation, and
for the highest and most thorough education. Had he been thoughtful
and wise to have improved his opportunities, the way was open for
him to the highest advancement. He might have been blessed with
respectability, wealth, and honors. He could have risen to the most
dignified positions in life. His voice might have been heard in
strains of persuasive eloquence, from the sacred pulpit, or in the
halls of justice, or in the senate chamber of our state or national
councils. He might have occupied a seat on the bench of the highest
courts, or have aspired to the executive chair of the nation. But
where is he now, and what are his circumstances and his position in
the world? See issuing from the door of yonder filthy groggery; a
wretched specimen of humanity--the distorted caricature of a man!
His garments are thread-bare and patched--his eyes are inflamed,
sunken and watery--his countenance bloated and livid--his limbs
swelled and tottering. Although but in the morning of his manhood,
yet the lines of premature old age and decrepitude are deeply carved
upon his pale, dejected face; and in his whole aspect, there is that
forlorn, broken-spirited, anguished look of despair, which shows he
himself feels that he has sunken, beyond earthly redemption, into
the awful pit of the confirmed drunkard! This is the young man whose
early opportunities were so favorable, and whose prospects were so
bright and flattering. He has become a curse to himself, he has
brought disgrace and wretchedness on his connections, and is an
outcast and vagabond, with whom no young man who now hears me would
associate for a single hour!
What has brought him to this pitiable condition--this state of utter
wretchedness? It was a want of forethought. He totally neglected the
considerations I have endeavored to impress upon the young. He was
careless and indifferent in regard to his associates. He would not
be admonished to turn from the company of the vicious, and seek the
society of those of good habits and upright character. Despite
the counsel of parents and friends, he would associate with
companions of corrupt habits--with the profane, the drinking,
the Sabbath-breaking--those whose chief delight was to visit
oyster-cellars and grog-shops--whose highest ambition was to excel
in cards, and dice, and sleight-of-hand tricks--and who sought for
no better employment than to range the streets and alleys, to engage
in midnight adventures and Bacchanalian revelries. Mingling with
such as his associates, and falling unavoidably into their habits,
he is now reaping the _bitter_--BITTER fruits of his folly. His time
misspent--character destroyed--health ruined--every source of
happiness obliterated--his life wasted and literally thrown
away--his days, a _blank_--ah! worse than that--filled with the
terrific visions, the horrid dreams, the flames of the unquenchable
fire, which float and burn in the veins of the confirmed inebriate!
Young men! Do you shudder at the condition of this wretched youth,
whose form yet flits like a shadow through our streets? Would you
avoid his fate? Do you start back in affright at the mere thought of
becoming the poor, cast-off wreck of humanity that he is? Then avoid
the rock on which he foundered his bark. Shun, as you would a nest
of vipers, the company of the reckless and profligate. Avoid all
association, all companionship, all intimacy, with those whose
habits deviate from the high rules of rectitude, purity, and virtue.
Allow me to paint you a picture of an opposite character, drawn also
from real life. I have another young man in my mind's eye, who
originated in our own county. He had but few of the advantages of
him whose melancholy career I have painted. He was the son of
parents who possessed but little means, and who could afford him no
assistance after the days of childhood. He was early placed to the
hard labor of a mechanic. But he did not sink into lewdness and
vice, under the pressure of his adverse circumstances. He would not
spend his leisure hours at public resorts, in the midst of the
profligate and reckless. Each moment of respite from labor, he
applied himself to study and the improvement of his mind. With great
wisdom he avoided the company of idle, profane and vicious youth;
and would associate with none but the discreet, the intelligent and
virtuous. He was determined to RISE in the world, and to win a name
which should live long after he should pass from the earth. He
placed his mark high! With indomitable courage and unwearied
perseverance, he pursued the path he had chosen for himself. He cut
his way through every obstacle, and overcame every hindrance and
difficulty, though they might seem to tower mountain high. Friends
came to his aid, as they will to the assistance of every youth who
is industriously seeking to rise in the world by the strength of his
own merits. At length, after great exertions, he obtained a
profession, and entered into a field where he could bring into
active exercise the fund of knowledge he had been acquiring under so
many difficulties. One thus industrious, thus pure in his habits,
thus upright and honorable in all his transactions, could not fail
to receive the commendation and confidence of his fellow-citizens.
Rapidly he rose from one post of honor to another. Ere long he was
sent to the Legislature of our State. Soon he entered the halls of
Congress, where he won the confidence of his compeers, and arose to
honorable distinction. From step to step he advanced--high and
higher still he ascended the ladder of fame--until now, the poor
mechanic boy of Montville, occupies the _second place_ in the gift
of the American people--within _one step_ of the highest pinnacle of
fame to which man can attain on the earth! How noble the career--how
splendid the example--placed before the youth of our country, in the
history of this eminent man! How honorable to himself--how worthy of
imitation.
I need not ask the young men of this audience, which place they
would prefer to occupy, the position of the poor inebriate of whom
I have spoken, or that of the Vice-President of the United States?
It is instructive to inquire why the one, with opportunities so
good, sunk so low, and the other, with early advantages so limited,
has arisen so high? This disparity in their condition is to be
attributed to the different paths they selected at the outset of
life. While the one trampled on all his advantages, and foolishly
associated with the vicious and unprincipled, the other diligently
applied himself to the acquisition of useful knowledge, and was
scrupulous to associate with none but those who were discreet and
virtuous, and whose influence was calculated to elevate and purify
him.
These two cases, drawn from real life, are but a specimen of
instances with which the world is filled. They show how immensely
important it is for the young to reflect maturely on the course they
would pursue, and the necessity of selecting for their associates
such as have habits, tastes, and principles, proper for commendation
and imitation.
Most of those who come under the influence of corrupt associates,
are led thither more from sheer thoughtlessness, than from any
disposition to become depraved. They fall into the company of those
who are gay, sociable and pleasant in their manners; who make time
pass agreeably, and who contrive many ways to drive dull care away,
which do not, in themselves, appear very bad. The thoughtless youth
becomes attached to their society, and gradually gives himself up to
their influence. Almost imperceptibly to himself, he follows them
farther and farther from the path of rectitude, until, before he is
aware of it, some vicious habit has fixed its fangs upon him, and
made him its wretched slave for life.
The difficulty in these cases, is the want of a due exercise of
reflection and discernment. The young should guard against being
deceived by outward appearances. Beneath a pleasant, agreeable
exterior--beneath sociability and attractive manners--there may lurk
vicious propensities, depraved appetites, and habits of the most
corrupt nature. Hence the young should look beyond the surface, and
guard against deceptive appearances. It should not be enough to make
a young man or a young woman your associate, that they are sociable
and attractive in their manners, and can make their company
agreeable. Search farther than this. Strive to know their tastes,
their habits, their principles. Inquire how, and where, they spend
their leisure hour's--in what company do they mingle--what practices
do they approbate--what is their general conduct and demeanor? If in
all these respects, they are found to be discreet, virtuous, and
worthy of imitation, then hesitate not to associate with them, and
allow yourself to be influenced by them. But if you find them
deficient in any of these characteristics, however attractive they
may be in other respects, shun their company, and avoid their
influence. The effect of associating with them would be to lead you
astray, to your ruin.
In selecting associates, studiously avoid those who are low, coarse,
and vulgar in their behavior and manners. Rudeness and vulgarity are
unbecoming any age. But they are especially offensive and indecorous
in youth. The young man, or young woman, who has not sufficient
self-respect and pride of character to deport themselves with
modesty, circumspection, and politeness, is unfitted to be an
associate. A bold, brazen, forward demeanor, indicates a heart far
from possessing those delicate and amiable traits, which are alone
worthy of imitation. Vulgarity in language or demeanor, indicates a
vitiated heart. Cultivation and refinement of manners are, to a good
degree, evidence of a pure spirit, and high and honorable feelings.
The youth who is truly polite, has a great advantage, in every
respect, over those who are deficient in this desirable
qualification. Many, however, entertain very erroneous views of the
nature of politeness. It does not consist in putting on an air, a
simper, a strut, or a bow. Neither is it to be manifested in
high-flown words, or a fashionable pronunciation. Many young persons
who can make very accomplished bows, and go through all the postures
and attitudes of the schools, are still ignorant of the first
principles of genuine politeness, and violate them every day.
Politeness is not to be learned of the dancing-master, the fop, or
the belle. Do you inquire where it can be obtained? I answer, in the
gospel of our Saviour. True-hearted Christians are always polite.
They cannot be otherwise, while influenced by the Christian spirit.
For the first great principle of true politeness is found in the
Saviour's golden rule--"All things whatsoever ye would that men
should do to you, do ye even so to them." Treat others as you wish
to be treated yourself, and you cannot fail of being polite. Treat
them as you wish _not_ to be treated, and you are ill-bred and
vulgar, though you may be dressed in the extreme of fashion, and
steeped in Cologne! Politeness, in its true acceptation, is but
another word for kindness. The truly polite man and woman, are not
haughty, nor exclusive--they are not starched, nor supercilious.
They show their politeness in being respectful to the feelings of
persons of every rank, condition, and complexion. They treat all
kindly and gently; and seek to make those in their presence to feel
easy and happy. The whole secret of politeness may be summed up in
a single sentence--Make yourselves agreeable and pleasant to
whomsoever you meet. With this intent, your manners will be easy and
natural; and you will be polite in every true sense of the word,
though brought up in the centre of the wilderness.
In selecting those they would imitate in regard to politeness, the
young should not choose the starched fop, the gaudily-dressed dandy,
who may owe all their attractions to the unpaid tailor--nor the
fashionable belle, who sneers upon everything plain and useful.
They, more than all others, violate the first principles of
politeness in their demeanor. But select the plain-dressed, the
modest, the affable, the kind and friendly at heart. In these you
find the true lady--the genuine gentleman.
* * * * *
In regard to this whole subject of the selection of associates, I
would earnestly counsel the young to listen respectfully to the
advice of their parents, guardians, and elder friends. They should
not be headstrong, nor wise in their own conceits; but should yield
to the counsel of others. Your parents are far better calculated to
judge of associates than themselves. You are liable to be blinded to
their defects, and deceived by specious appearances. But parents
scrutinize them from a different position. They have been through
the school of experience, and are much better prepared to judge of
character. Listen, O ye youthful! to their warning voice. They are
moved by love for you--they speak for your good. When they entreat
you to avoid the society of certain individuals, and escape their
influence, heed their exhortations. Your own heart will tell you,
that your father and mother would not speak, simply to thwart your
feelings; but that they see danger hovering around you, and would
snatch you away, as the bird from the fowler's snare! That is a wise
and promising son--a prudent and hopeful daughter--who pays
respectful deference to the counsel of parents, and yields a
cheerful compliance with their wishes!
"So live, that when thy summons comes, to join
The innumerable caravan, that moves
To the pale realms of shade, where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon; but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams!"
LECTURE IV.
Habits and Amusements.
"Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be
established."--Prov. iv. 20.