SEEING CHRIST CHURCH
Boreham had been very successful that afternoon. He had managed to
secure Mrs. Dashwood without having to be rude to her hostess. He had
done it by exchanging Mrs. Potten for the younger lady with a deftness
on which he congratulated himself, though it was true that Lady Dashwood
had said to May Dashwood, "Go and see over the College with Mr.
Boreham."
Miss Scott was, most fortunately, absorbed in playing at shop with Mrs.
Harding.
Boreham's course was clear. He calculated with satisfaction that he had
a good hour before him alone with Mrs. Dashwood. He could show her every
corner of Christ Church and do it slowly; the brief explanation (of a
disparaging nature) that he would be obliged to make on the details of
that historic building would only serve to help him out at, perhaps,
difficult moments. It would be easier for him to talk freely and prepare
her mind for a proper appreciation of the future which lay before her,
while he walked beside her and pointed out irrelevant things, than it
would have been if he had been obliged to sit still in a chair facing
her, for example, and stick to his subject. It seemed to him best to
begin by speaking quite frankly in praise of himself. Boreham had his
doubts whether any man is really humble in his estimation of himself,
however much he may pretend to be; and if, indeed, any man were truly
humble, then, in Boreham's opinion, that man was a fool.
As soon as they had crossed St. Aldates and had entered the gate under
Tom Tower, Boreham introduced the subject of his own merits, by glancing
round the great quadrangle and remarking that he was thankful that he
had never been subjected to the fossilising routine of a classical
education.
"The study of dead languages is a 'cul-de-sac,'" he explained. "You can
see the effect it has had in the very atmosphere of Oxford. You can see
the effect it has had on Middleton, dear fellow, who got a double First,
and the Ireland, and everything else proper and useless, and who is
now--what? A conscientious schoolmaster, and nothing more!"
It was necessary to bring Middleton in because May Dashwood might not
have had the time or the opportunity of observing all Middleton's
limitations. She probably would imagine that he was a man of ideas and
originality. She would take for granted (not knowing) that the head of
an Oxford College was a weighty person, a successful person. Also
Middleton was a good-looking-man, as good-looking as he, Boreham, was
himself (only of a more conventional type), and therefore not to be
despised from the mere woman's point of view.
Boreham peered eagerly at his companion's profile to see how she took
this criticism of Middleton.
May was taking it quite calmly, and even smiled. "So far, good," said
Boreham to himself, and he went on to compare his larger view of life
and deeper knowledge of "facts" with the restricted outlook of the
Oxford Don. This she apparently accepted as "understood," for she smiled
again, and this triumph of Boreham's was achieved while they looked over
the Christ Church library.
"The first thing," said Boreham, when they came again into the open
air--"the first thing that a man has to do is to be a man of the world
that we actually live in, not of the world as it was!"
"Yes," said Mrs. Dashwood "the world we actually live in."
"You agree?" he said brightly.
She smiled again.
"Oxford might have been vitalised; might, I say, if, by good luck,
somebody had discovered a coal mine under the Broad, or the High, and
the University had been compelled to adjust itself to the practical
requirements of the world of labour and of commerce, and to drop its
mediaeval methods for those of the modern world."
May confessed that she had not thought of this way of improving the
ancient University, but she suggested that some of the provincial
universities had the advantage of being in the neighbourhood of coal
mines or in industrial centres.
Boreham, however, waived the point, for his spirits were rising, and the
sight of Bingham in the distance, carrying his table-cloth and slippers
and looking wistfully at nothing in particular, gave him increased
confidence in his main plan.
"This staircase," said Boreham, "leads to the hall. Shall we go in? I
suppose you ought to see it."
"What a lovely roof!" exclaimed May, when they reached the foot of the
staircase.
Boreham admitted that it was fine, but he insisted that it was too good
for the place, and he went on with his main discourse.
When they entered the dining-hall, the dignity of the room, with its
noble ceiling, its rich windows and the glow of the portraits on the
walls, brought another exclamation from May's lips.
But all this academic splendour annoyed Boreham extremely. It seemed to
jeer at him as an outsider.
"It's too good for the collection of asses who dine here," he said.
As to the portraits, he insisted that among them all, among all these
so-called distinguished men, there was not one that possessed any real
originality and power--except perhaps the painter Watts.
"It's so like Oxford," he added, "to produce nothing distinctive."
May laughed now, with a subdued laughter that was a little irritating,
because it was uncalled for.
"I am laughing," she explained, "because 'the world we actually live in'
is such a funny place and is so full of funny people--ourselves
included."
That was not a reason for laughter if it were true, and it was not true
that she was, or that he was "funny." If she had been "funny" he would
not have been in love with her. He detained her in front of the portrait
of Wesley.
"I wonder they have had the sense to keep him here," said Boreham. "He
is a perpetual reminder to them of the scandalous torpor of the Church
which repudiated him. Yes, I wonder they tolerate him. Anyhow, I suppose
they tolerate him because, after all, they tolerate anybody who tries to
keep alive a lost cause. Religion was dying a natural death and, instead
of letting it die, he revived it for a bit. It was as good as you could
expect from an Oxford man! When an Oxford man revolts, he only revolts
in order to take up some lost cause, some survival!"
"I suppose," said May, "that if Wesley had had the advantage of being at
one of the provincial colleges, he would have invented a new soap,
instead of strewing the place with nonconformist chapels?"
This sarcasm of May's would have been exasperating, only that the
mention of soap quite naturally suggested children who had to be
soaped, and children did bring Boreham actually to an important point.
He did not really care two straws about Wesley. He went straight for
this point. He put a few piercing questions to May about her work among
children in London. Strangely enough she did not respond. She gave him
one or two brief answers of the vaguest description, while she turned
away to look at more portraits. Boreham, however, had only put the
questions as a delicate approach to _the_ subject. He did not really
want any answers, and he proceeded to point out to her that her work,
though it was undertaken in the most altruistic spirit, and appeared to
be useful to the superficial observer, was really not helpful but
harmful to the community. And this for two reasons. He would explain
them. Firstly, because it blinded people who were interested in social
questions to the need for the endowment of mothers; and secondly, the
care of other women's children did not really satisfy the maternal
instinct in women. It excited their emotions and gave them the
impression that these emotions were satisfying. They were not. He hinted
that if May would consult any pathologist he would tell her that, in
ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, a life like hers, seemingly so full,
would not save a woman from the disastrous effects of being childless.
Now, Boreham was convinced that women rarely understand what it is they
really want. Women believe that they want to become clerks or postmen or
lawyers, when all the time what they want and need is to become mothers.
For instance, it was a common thing for a woman who had no interest in
drama and who couldn't act, to want to be an actress. What she really
wanted then was an increased opportunity of meeting the other sex.
Boreham put this before May Dashwood, and was gratified at the reception
of his remarks.
"What you say _is_ true," she said, "though so few people have the
courage to say it."
Boreham went on. He felt that May Dashwood, in spite of all her
sharpness, was profoundly ignorant of her own psychology. It was
necessary to enlighten her, to make her understand that it was not her
duty to go on mourning for a husband who was dead, but that it was her
duty to make the best of her own life. He entirely exonerated her from
the charge of humbug in her desire to mother slum children; all he
wanted was for her to understand that it wasn't of any use either to
herself or to the community. How well she was taking it!
He had barely finished speaking when he became unpleasantly aware that
two ladies, who had just entered, were staring at himself and his
companion instead of examining the hall. The strangers were foreigners,
to judge by the boldness with which they wore hats that bore no relation
to the shape or the dignity of the human head. They were evidently
arrested and curious.
May did not speak for some moments, after they both moved away from the
portraits. Boreham watched her, rather breathlessly, for things were
going right and coming to a crisis.
"You are quite right," she repeated, at last. "But people haven't the
courage to say so!"
"You think so?" he replied eagerly. He now appreciated, as he had never
done before, how much he scored by possessing, along with the subtle
intuitions of the Celt, the plain common-sense of his English mother.
"I am preparing my mind," said May, as they approached the door of the
hall, "to face a future chequered by fits of hysteria."
"But why!" urged Boreham, and he could not conceal his agitation; "when
I spoke of the endowment of mothers I did not mean that I personally
wanted any interference (at present) with our system of monogamy. The
British public thinks it believes in monogamy and I, personally, think
that monogamy is workable, under certain circumstances. It would be
possible for me under certain circumstances."
The sublimity of his self-sacrifice almost brought tears to Boreham's
eyes. May quickened her steps, and he opened the door for her to go into
the lobby. As he went through himself he could see that the two
strangers had turned and were watching them. He damned them under his
breath and pulled the door to.
"There are women," he went on, as he followed her down the stairs, "who
have breadth of character and brains that command the fidelity of men. I
need not tell _you_ this."
May was descending slowly and looked as if she thought she was alone.
"'Age cannot wither, nor custom stale thy infinite variety,'" he
whispered behind her, and he found the words strangely difficult to
pronounce because of his emotion. He moved alertly into step with her
and gazed at her profile.
"When that is said to a woman, well, a moderately young woman," remarked
May, "a woman who is, say, twenty-eight--I am twenty-eight--it has no
point I am afraid!"
"No point?" exclaimed Boreham.
"No point," repeated May. "How do you know that thirty years from now,
when I am on the verge of sixty, that I shan't be withered--unless,
indeed, I get too stout?" she added pensively.
"You will always be young," said Boreham, fervently; "young, like Ninon
de l'Enclos."
May had now reached the ground, and she walked out on to the terrace
into open daylight.
Boreham was at her side immediately, and she turned and looked at him.
His pale blue eyes blinked at her, for he was aware that hers were
hostile! Why?
"You would seem young to me," he said, trying to feel brave.
"Men and women ought," she said, with emphasis on the word "ought"--"men
and women ought to wither and grow old in the service of Humanity. I
think nothing is more pathetic than the sight of an old woman trying to
look young instead of learning the lesson of life, the lesson we are
here to learn!"
Boreham had had barely time to recover from the blow when she added in
the sweetest tone--
"There, that's a scolding for you and for Ninon de l'Enclos!"
"But I don't mean----" began Boreham. "I haven't put it--you don't take
my words quite correctly."
May was already walking on into the open archway that led to the
cathedral. Before them stood the great western doors, and she saw them
and stopped. Boreham wished to goodness that he had waited till they
were in the cathedral before he had made his quotation. Through the open
doors of that ancient building he could hear somebody playing the organ.
That would have been the proper emotional accompaniment for those
immortal lines of Shakespeare. He pictured a corner of the Latin chapel
and an obscure tender light. Why had he begun to talk in the glare of a
public thoroughfare?
"Shall we go inside?" he asked urgently. "One can't talk here."
But May turned to go back. "I should like to see the cathedral some
other time," she said. "I must thank you very much for having shown me
over the College--and--explained everything."
"Yes; but----" stammered Boreham. "We can get into the cathedral."
She was actually beginning to hold out her hand as if to say Good-bye.
"Not now," she said; and before he had time to argue further, Bingham
came suddenly upon them from somewhere, and expressed so much surprise
at seeing them that it was evident that he had been on the watch. He had
disposed of his purchases and was a free man. He had actually pounced
upon them like a bird of prey--and stealthily too. It was a mean trick
to have played.
"Are you coming out or going in?" asked Bingham.
"Neither," said May, turning to him as if she was glad of his approach.
"You've seen it before?" said Bingham.
"No, not yet," said May.
"It's as nice a place as you could find anywhere," said Bingham, calmly,
"for doing a bit of Joss."
Boreham's brain surged with indignation. This man's intrusion at such a
moment was insupportable. Yes, and he had got rid of his miserable
table-cloth and shoes, probably taken them to Harding's house, and was
going to tea there too. Not only this, but here he was talking in his
jesting way, exactly in the same soft drawling voice in which he reeled
off Latin quotations, and so it went down--yes, went down when it ought
to have given offence. May ought to have been offended. She didn't look
offended!
"You forget," said Boreham, looking through his eyeglass at Bingham and
frowning, "that Mrs. Dashwood is, what is called a Churchwoman."
"I'm a Churchman myself," said the imperturbable Don. "To me a church is
always first a sanctuary, as I have just remarked to Mrs. Dashwood.
Secondly, it is the artistic triumph of some blooming engineer. Nowadays
our church architects aren't engineers; they don't _create_ a building,
they just run it up from books. Our modern churches are failures not
because we aren't religious, but because our architects are not big
enough men to be great engineers."
"Ah, yes," said May, looking up with relief at Bingham's swarthy
features.
"I deny that we are religious, as a whole," said Boreham, stoutly.
"You may not be, my dear fellow," said Bingham, in his oily voice; "but
then you are the only genuine conservative I meet nowadays. You are
still faithful to the 'Eighties'--still impressed by the discovery that
religion don't drop out of the sky as we thought it did, but had its
origin in the funk and cunning of the humanoid ape."
May was standing between the two men, and all three had their backs to
the cathedral, just as if they had emerged from its doors. And it was at
this moment that she caught a sudden sight through the open archway of
two figures passing along the terrace outside; one figure she did not
know, but which she thought might be the Dean of Christ Church, and the
other figure was one which was becoming to her more significant than any
other in the world. He saw her; he raised his hat, and was already gone
before she had time to think. When she did think it came upon her, with
a rush of remorse, that he must have thought that she had been looking
over the cathedral with her two companions, after having refused his
guidance on the pretext that she wished to be alone. Yes, there was in
his face surely surprise, surprise and reproach! How could she explain?
He had gone! She vaguely heard the two men beside her speaking; she
heard Boreham's protesting voice but did not follow his words.
"While we are engaged in peaceful persuasion," said Bingham in her ear,
"you are white with fatigue."
"I'm not tired," she said, "not really--only I think I will go to the
rooms where Lady Dashwood is to meet me. Will you show me them?"
She spoke to Bingham, and touched his arm with her hand as if to ask for
his support.
Boreham saw that he was excluded. It was obvious, and he stood staring
after them, full of indignation.
"I shall see you later," he said in a dry voice. How did it all happen?
As soon as they were on the terrace, May released Bingham's arm.
"You want to get a rest before you go to the Hardings," he said. Then he
added, in a voice that threw out the words merely as a remark which
demanded no answer, "Was it physical--or--moral or both? Umph!" he went
on. "Now, we have only a step to make. It's the third doorway!"