_Sworn at the Mansion House 9th November last, in the absence of the
Lord Mayor_.
JOHN (_the Porter_).
In this volume a few of his most amusing stories are printed--all,
perhaps, that it is worth while to read.
I
Some years before my beard announced approaching manhood, or, in other
words, when I was neither man nor boy, but between both, I expressed in
repeated conversations a strong desire of seeing the world, from which I
was discouraged by my parents, though my father had been no
inconsiderable traveler himself, as will appear before I have reached
the end of my singular, and, I may add, interesting adventures. A
cousin, by my mother's side, took a liking to me, often said I was a
fine, forward youth, and was much inclined to gratify my curiosity. His
eloquence had more effect than mine, for my father consented to my
accompanying him in a voyage to the island of Ceylon, where his uncle
had resided as governor many years.
We sailed from Amsterdam with despatches from their High Mightinesses
the States of Holland. The only circumstance which happened on our
voyage worth relating was the wonderful effects of a storm, which had
torn up by the roots a great number of trees of enormous bulk and
height, in an island where we lay at anchor to take in wood and water;
some of these trees weighed many tons, yet they were carried by the wind
so amazingly high that they appeared like the feathers of small birds
floating in the air, for they were at least five miles above the earth:
however, as soon as the storm subsided they all fell perpendicularly
into their respective places, and took root again, except the largest,
which happened, when it was blown into the air, to have a man and his
wife, a very honest old couple, upon its branches, gathering cucumbers
(in this part of the globe that useful vegetable grows upon trees): the
weight of this couple, as the tree descended, overbalanced the trunk,
and brought it down in a horizontal position: it fell upon the chief man
of the island, and killed him on the spot; he had quitted his house in
the storm, under an apprehension of its falling upon him, and was
returning through his own garden when this fortunate accident happened.
The word fortunate here requires some explanation. This chief was a man
of a very avaricious and oppressive disposition, and though he had no
family, the natives of the island were half starved by his oppressive
and infamous impositions.
The very goods which he had thus taken from them were spoiling in his
stores, while the poor wretches from whom they were plundered were
pining in poverty. Though the destruction of this tyrant was accidental,
the people chose the cucumber-gatherers for their governors, as a mark
of their gratitude for destroying, though accidentally, their late
tyrant.
After we had repaired the damages we sustained in this remarkable storm,
and taken leave of the new governor and his lady, we sailed with a fair
wind for the object of our voyage.
In about six weeks we arrived at Ceylon, where we were received with
great marks of friendship and true politeness. The following singular
adventures may not prove unentertaining.
After we had resided at Ceylon about a fortnight I accompanied one of
the governor's brothers upon a shooting party. He was a strong, athletic
man, and being used to that climate (for he had resided there some
years), he bore the violent heat of the sun much better than I could; in
our excursion he had made a considerable progress through a thick wood
when I was only at the entrance.
Near the banks of a large piece of water, which had engaged my
attention, I thought I heard a rustling noise behind; on turning about I
was almost petrified (as who would not be?) at the sight of a lion,
which was evidently approaching with the intention of satisfying his
appetite with my poor carcass, and that without asking my consent. What
was to be done in this horrible dilemma? I had not even a moment for
reflection; my piece was only charged with swan-shot, and I had no other
about me; however, though I could have no idea of killing such an animal
with that weak kind of ammunition, yet I had some hopes of frightening
him by the report, and perhaps of wounding him also. I immediately let
fly, without waiting till he was within reach, and the report did but
enrage him, for he now quickened his pace, and seemed to approach me
full speed: I attempted to escape, but that only added (if an addition
could be made) to my distress; for the moment I turned about, I found a
large crocodile, with his mouth extended almost ready to receive me. On
my right hand was the piece of water before mentioned, and on my left a
deep precipice, said to have, as I have since learned, a receptacle at
the bottom for venomous creatures; in short, I gave myself up as lost,
for the lion was now upon his hind legs, just in the act of seizing me;
I fell involuntarily to the ground with fear, and, as it afterwards
appeared, he sprang over me. I lay some time in a situation which no
language can describe, expecting to feel his teeth or talons in some
part of me every moment. After waiting in this prostrate situation a few
seconds I heard a violent but unusual noise, different from any sound
that had ever before assailed my ears; nor is it at all to be wondered
at, when I inform you from whence it proceeded: after listening for some
time I ventured to raise my head and look round, when, to my unspeakable
joy, I perceived the lion had, by the eagerness with which he sprung at
me, jumped forward as I fell, into the crocodile's mouth! which, as
before observed, was wide open; the head of the one stuck in the throat
of the other! and they were struggling to extricate themselves! I
fortunately recollected my hunting knife, which was by my side; with
this instrument I severed the lion's head at one blow, and the body fell
at my feet! I then, with the butt end of my fowling piece, rammed the
head farther into the throat of the crocodile, and destroyed him by
suffocation, for he could neither gorge nor eject it.
[Illustration: THE LION HAD JUMPED INTO THE CROCODILE'S MOUTH]
Soon after I had thus gained a complete victory over my two powerful
adversaries, my companion arrived in search of me; for finding I did not
follow him into the wood, he returned, apprehending I had lost my way,
or met with some accident.
After mutual congratulations we measured the crocodile, which was just
forty feet in length.
As soon as we had related this extraordinary adventure to the governor,
he sent a wagon and servants who brought home the two carcasses. The
lion's skin was properly preserved with the hair on, after which it was
made into tobacco pouches and presented by me, upon our return to
Holland, to the burgomasters, who in return requested my acceptance of a
thousand ducats.
The skin of the crocodile was stuffed in the usual manner, and makes a
capital article in their public museum at Amsterdam, where the exhibitor
relates the whole story to each spectator, with such additions as he
thinks proper.