Chapter 18

THE BEGINNING OF MY LIFE AT VLADIMIR

When I went to get into my sledge at Kosmodemiansk it was harnessed in

the Russian style, three horses abreast, and the shaft horse with the

yoke over its head was gaily jingling the bells.

In Perm and Vyatka the horses are put in tandem, one before the other or

two side by side and the third in front. So my heart throbbed with

delight when I saw the familiar troika.

‘Come now, show us your mettle,’ I said to the young lad who sat smartly

on the box in an unlined sheepskin and stiff gauntlets which barely

allowed his fingers to close enough to take fifteen kopecks from my

hand.

‘We’ll do our best, sir, we’ll do our best. Hey, darlings! Now, sir,’ he

said, turning suddenly to me, ‘you only hold on, there is a hill yonder,

so I will let them go.’

It was a steep descent to the Volga which was used as a road in the

winter.

He certainly did let the horses go. The sledge bounded from right to

left, from left to right, as the horses flew downhill; the driver was

tremendously pleased, and indeed, sinful man that I am, so was I—it is

the Russian temperament.

So I raced with posting horses into 1838—into the best, the brightest

year of my life. I will describe how we saw the New Year in.

Eighty versts from Nizhni, we, _i.e._ Matvey, my valet, and I, went into

the station superintendent’s to warm ourselves. There was a very sharp

frost, and it was windy too. The superintendent, a thin, sickly,

pitiful-looking man, made the inscription in my travelling permit,

dictating every letter to himself and yet making mistakes. I took off my

fur-lined coat and walked up and down the room in immense fur boots,

Matvey was warming himself at the red-hot stove, the superintendent

muttered, while a wooden clock ticked on a faint, cracked note.

‘I say,’ Matvey said to me, ‘it will soon be twelve o’clock, it’s the

New Year, you know. I will bring something,’ he added, looking at me

half-inquiringly, ‘from the stores they gave us at Vyatka.’ And without

waiting for an answer he ran to fetch bottles and a parcel of food.

Matvey, of whom I shall have more to say later, was more than a servant,

he was a friend, a younger brother to me. A Moscow artisan, apprenticed

to Sonnenberg to learn the art of bookbinding, in which Sonnenberg,

however, was not very proficient, he passed into my hands.

I knew that if I refused it would disappoint Matvey, besides I had

nothing against celebrating the day at the posting-station.... The New

Year is a station of a sort.

Matvey brought ham and champagne. The champagne turned out to be frozen

solid; the ham could have been chopped with an axe, it was all

glistening with ice; but _à la guerre comme à la guerre_. ‘May the New

Year bring new happiness.’ Yes indeed, new happiness. Was I not on my

homeward way? Every hour was bringing me nearer to Moscow—my heart was

full of hope.

The frozen champagne did not exactly please the superintendent. I added

half a glass of rum to his wine. This new ‘_half-and-half_’ had a great

success.

The driver, whom I also invited to join us, was still more extreme in

his views; he sprinkled pepper into the glass of foaming wine, stirred

it with a spoon, drank it off at one gulp, uttered a painful sigh and

almost with a moan added: ‘It did scorch fine!’

The superintendent himself tucked me into the sledge, and was so zealous

in his attentions that he dropped the lighted candle into the hay and

could not find it afterwards. He was in great spirits and kept

repeating: ‘You’ve given me a New Year’s Eve, too!’

The scorched driver whipped up the horses.

At eight o’clock on the following evening I reached Vladimir and put up

at the hotel, which is extremely accurately described in the _Tarantass_

with its fowls in rice, its dough-like pastry, and vinegar by way of

Bordeaux.

‘A man was asking for you this morning, he’s waiting at the beer-shop,’

the waiter, who wore the rakish parting and killing lovelocks, which in

old days were only affected by Russian waiters, but are now worn by

Louis Napoleon also, told me after reading my name on my travel permit.

I could not conceive who this could be. ‘But here he is,’ added the

waiter, moving aside.

What I saw first, however, was not a man but a tray of terrific size, on

which were piles of all sorts of good things, a cake and cracknels,

oranges and apples, eggs, almonds, raisins ... and behind the tray

appeared the grey head and blue eyes of the village elder, from my

father’s Vladimir estate.

‘Gavril Semyonitch,’ I cried, and rushed to hug him. This was the first

of our own people, the first figure out of my former life whom I met

after imprisonment and exile. I could not take my eyes off the

intelligent old man, and felt as though I would never say all I had to

say to him. He was the living proof of my nearness to Moscow, to my

home, to my friends; only three days before, he had seen them all, he

brought me greetings from all of them.... So it was not so far away

after all!

The governor, who was a clever Greek called Kuruta, had a thorough

knowledge of human nature, and had long ceased to have a strong

preference for good or evil. He grasped my position at once and did not

make the slightest attempt to worry me. Office work was not even

referred to; he commissioned me and a master at the high school to edit

the _Vladimir Provincial News_—that was my only duty.

The work was familiar to me; I had in Vyatka successfully edited the

unofficial part of the _Provincial News_, and had published in it an

article which almost got my successor into trouble. Describing the

festival on the Great river, I said that the mutton sacrificed to St.

Nicholas at Hlynov used in old days to be distributed to the poor, but

now was sold. The bishop was incensed and the governor had difficulty in

persuading him to let the matter drop.

These provincial newspapers were introduced in 1837. The very original

idea of training the inhabitants of the land of silence and dumbness to

express themselves in print occurred to Bludov the Minister of Home

Affairs. The latter, famous for being chosen to continue Karamzin’s

_History_, though he never actually added a line to it, and for being

the author of the report of the committee of investigation into the

affair of the 14th of December, which it would have been better not to

write at all, belonged to the group of political doctrinaires who

appeared on the scene at the end of the reign of Alexander. They were

intelligent, cultured, old ‘Arzamass geese’[154] who had risen in the

service. They could write Russian, were patriots, and were so zealously

engaged in the history of their native land that they had no time to

give serious attention to its present condition. They all cherished the

never-to-be-forgotten memory of N. M. Karamzin, loved Zhukovsky, knew

Krylov by heart, and used to go to Moscow to converse with I. I.

Dmitriev in his house in Sadovy Street, where I too visited him as a

student, armed with romantic prejudices, a personal acquaintance with N.

Polevoy, and a concealed disapproval of the fact that Dmitriev, who was

a poet, should be Minister of Justice. Great things were hoped of them,

and like most doctrinaires of all countries they did nothing. Perhaps

they might have succeeded in leaving more permanent traces under

Alexander, but Alexander died and left them with nothing but their

desire to do something worth doing.

At Monaco there is an inscription on the tombstone of one of the

hereditary princes: ‘Here lies the body of Florestan So-and-so—he

desired to do good to his subjects.’[155] Our doctrinaires also desired

to do good, not to their own subjects but to the subjects of Nicholas,

but they reckoned without their host. I do not know who hindered

Florestan, but they were hindered by our Florestan. They were drawn into

taking part in all the measures detrimental to Russia and had to

restrict themselves to useless innovations, mere alterations of name and

form. Every head of a department among us thinks it his duty to produce

at intervals a project, an innovation, usually for the worse but

sometimes simply neutral. They thought it necessary for instance to call

the secretary in the governor’s office by a name of purely Russian

origin, while they left the secretary of the provincial office

untranslated into Russian. I remember that the Minister of Justice

brought forward a plan for necessary changes in the uniforms of civil

servants. This scheme opened in a majestic and solemn style: ‘taking

into special consideration the lack of unity, of standard, in the make

and pattern of certain uniforms in the civil department and adopting as

a fundamental principle,’ and so on.

Possessed by the same mania for reform the Minister of Home Affairs

replaced the rural assessors by police inspectors. The assessors lived

in the towns and used to visit the villages. The police inspectors

sometimes met together in the town but lived permanently in the country.

In this way all the peasants were put under the supervision of the

police and this was done with full knowledge of the predatory,

rapacious, corrupt character of our police officials. Bludov initiated

the policeman into the secrets of the peasants’ industry and wealth,

into their family life, into the affairs of the commune, and in this way

attacked the last stronghold of peasant life. Fortunately our villages

are very many and there are only two police inspectors in a district.

Almost at the same time the same Bludov had the notion of establishing

provincial newspapers. In Russia, although the government has no regard

for popular education, it has literary pretensions, and while in

England, for instance, there are no official organs, every one of our

departments has its own magazine, and so have the universities and the

academy. We have journals relating to mining, to dry-salting, to marine

affairs, and to means of communication, some in Russian, others in

French or German. All these are published at the government expense;

contracts for literary articles are made with the department exactly as

contracts for fuel and candles, but without competition; there are

plenty of statistics, invented figures and fantastic inferences from

them. After monopolising everything else, the government has now taken

the monopoly of talk and, imposing silence on every one else, has begun

chattering unceasingly. Continuing this system, Bludov commanded every

provincial government to publish its own newspaper, which was to have an

unofficial part for articles on historical, literary, and other

subjects.

No sooner said than done, and the officials in fifty provinces were

tearing their hair over this unofficial part. Priests of seminary

education, doctors of medicine, high-school teachers, all who could be

suspected of a tinge of culture and ability to spell correctly were

requisitioned. After much reflection and reading over of the _Library of

Good Reading_ and the _Notes of the Fatherland_, with inward tremors and

misgivings, they at last set to work to write articles.

The desire to see one’s name in print is one of the strongest artificial

passions of this bookish age. Nevertheless it needs favourable

circumstances to induce people to expose their efforts to public

criticism. People who would never have dared to dream of sending their

essays to the _Moscow News_ or to a Petersburg magazine, were ready to

publish them at home. And, meanwhile, the fatal habit of the newspaper

took root. And, indeed, it may not be amiss to have an instrument ready.

The printing press, too, is an unruly member.

My colleague in the editorship was also a Moscow graduate and of the

same faculty. I have not the heart to speak of him with a smile because

of his sad death, and yet he was an absurd figure up to the end. Though

far from being stupid, he was extraordinarily clumsy and awkward. It

would be hard to find an ugliness not merely so complete but so great,

that is, on so large a scale. His face was half as large again as

ordinary and somehow rugged-looking; a huge fish-like mouth reached to

his ears, white eyelashes did not shade but rather emphasised his pale

grey eyes, his skull was scantily covered with bristling hair, and at

the same time he was a head taller than I was, round-shouldered, and

very untidy in his appearance.

Even his name was such that a sentry at Vladimir locked him up on

account of it. Late one evening he was walking past the governor’s

house, wrapped up in his overcoat, carrying a pocket telescope; he stood

still and took aim with it at some planet. This perturbed the sentry who

probably regarded stars as public property. ‘Who goes there?’ he shouted

to the motionless stargazer. ‘Nebaba,’[156] answered my friend in a deep

voice, without budging.

‘Don’t play the fool,’ answered the sentry, offended, ‘I am on duty.’

‘But I tell you I am Nebaba.’

This was too much for the sentry and he rang his bell; a sergeant

appeared and the sentry handed over the astronomer to be taken to the

guardroom. ‘There they’ll find out whether you are a woman or not.’ He

would certainly have spent the night in custody had not the officer on

duty recognised him.

One morning Nebaba came to tell me that he was going to Moscow for a few

days; he gave a sly, rather appealing smile as he told me this. ‘I shall

not return alone,’ he said hesitatingly.

‘What, you mean...?’

‘Yes, I am actually getting married,’ he said shyly. I marvelled at the

heroic courage of the woman who could bring herself to marry this

good-hearted but monstrously ugly man. But when two or three weeks later

I saw in his house a girl of eighteen, who was not exactly good-looking

but rather prepossessing and with a lively expression in her eyes, I

began to look upon him as a hero.

Six weeks later I began to notice that things were not going well with

my Quasimodo. He was plunged in dejection, corrected his proofs badly,

did not finish his article on migratory birds, and was gloomily

preoccupied. It did not last long. One day as I was returning home

through the Golden Gate I saw shopmen and boys running to the

churchyard; policemen bustled about. I went with them.

Nebaba’s dead body was lying by the church wall and beside him a gun. He

had shot himself just opposite the window of his house; the string with

which he had pulled the trigger was still on his foot. The inspector of

the medical board, in well-rounded sentences, assured the bystanders

that the dead man had felt no pain; the police were preparing to take

the body to the police station.

How savage nature is to some people! What were the feelings in the heart

of the victim before he brought himself to stop with his bit of string

the pendulum that measured for him nothing but humiliations and

misfortunes? And why? Because his father was scrofulous and his mother

lymphatic? That may all be so. But what right have we to expect justice,

to call to account, to ask for reasons from—what? The whirling vortex of

life?...

At that very time a new chapter in my life was opening, a chapter full

of purity, serenity, youth, earnestness, secluded and bathed in love....

It belongs to another volume.

-----

Footnote 1:

Golohvastov, the husband of my father’s younger sister.

Footnote 2:

Governor of Moscow in 1812. Believed to have set fire to the city when

the French entered. See Tolstoy’s _War and Peace_.—(_Translator’s

Note._)

Footnote 3:

Mortier, duc de Trévise, general under the Revolution and Napoleon.

Killed, 1835, by the infernal machine of Fieschi.—(_Translator’s

Note._)

Footnote 4:

Fain, François, Baron (1778–1837), French historian and secretary of

Napoleon.

Footnote 5:

Commander-in-chief of the Russian army in 1812. See Tolstoy’s _War and

Peace_.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 6:

Minister of War and the most powerful and influential man of the reign

of Alexander I., whose intimate friend he was, hated and dreaded for

his cruelty.

Footnote 7:

Secretary of State under Alexander I.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 8:

One of the generals of the campaign of 1812. Military governor-general

of Petersburg at the accession of Nicholas in 1825, and killed in the

rising of December 14th. See Merezhkovsky’s novel, _December the

Fourteenth_.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 9:

Gmelin, Johann Georg (1709–1755), a learned German who travelled in

the East.

Footnote 10:

Pallas, Peter Simon (1741–1811), German traveller and naturalist who

explored the Urals, Kirghiz Steppes, Altai mountains, and parts of

Siberia.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 11:

My father had, besides me, another son ten years older. I was always

fond of him, but he could not be a companion to me. From his twelfth

to his thirtieth year he was always in the hands of the surgeons.

After a series of tortures, endured with extreme fortitude and

rendering his whole existence one intermittent operation, the doctors

declared his disease incurable. His health was shattered;

circumstances and character contributed to the complete ruin of his

life. The pages in which I speak of his lonely and melancholy

existence have been omitted. I do not care to print them without his

consent.

Footnote 12:

There were originally four brothers: Pyotr, the grandfather of ‘the

cousin from Kortcheva’ mentioned in Chapter 3; Alexander, the elder

brother here described, who is believed to have been the model from

whom Dostoevsky drew the character of Fyodor Pavlovitch in _The

Brothers Karamazov_; Lyov, always referred to as ‘the Senator,’ and

Ivan, Herzen’s father. Of the sisters one was Elizaveta Alexeyevna

Golohvastov and one was Marya Alexeyevna Hovansky. The family of the

Yakovlyevs was one of the oldest and most aristocratic in

Russia.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 13:

British Foreign Secretary in 1791, and Prime Minister, 1806 and 1807,

when the Act for the abolition of the slave trade was passed.

Footnote 14:

_I.e._, of Jerome Bonaparte, king of Westphalia from 1807 to 1813. ‘At

the court of King Jeremiah’ is a popular phrase equivalent to ‘in the

days of Methuselah.’—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 15:

Kleinmihel, Minister of Means of Communication under Nicholas I.

Footnote 16:

Benckendorf, Chief of Gendarmes, and favourite of Nicholas. See

Merezhkovsky’s _December the Fourteenth_ for character-study.

Footnote 17:

Perekusihin, Darya Savishna, favourite of Catherine II.—(_Translator’s

Notes._)

Footnote 18:

Father Matthew (1790–1856), Irish priest, who had remarkable success

in a great temperance campaign based on the religious

appeal.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 19:

Senkovsky, Joseph Ivanovitch (1800–1878), of Polish origin, was a

whimsical critic on the reactionary side who placed a miserable

poetaster, Timofeyev, above Pushkin and preferred Le Sage to Fielding.

Under the pseudonym Baron Brambàeus, he wrote sensational and

bombastic novels. He edited a serial publication the _Library of Good

Reading_, employing poor young men of talent to write for

it.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 20:

Payment in money or kind by a serf in lieu of labour for his

master.—(_Translater’s Note._)

Footnote 21:

_I.e._, clubs or guilds for messing or working

together.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 22:

_Le Mariage de Figaro_, a satirical comedy by Beaumarchais (_né_

Caron, 1732–1799), a watchmaker’s son, who rose to wealth and

influence, and by his writings helped to bring about the Revolution.

This play and an earlier one, _Le Barbier de Séville_, became popular

all over Europe, but are now chiefly remembered through their

adaptation to operas by Mozart and Rossini.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 23:

The famous passage in Racine’s _Phèdre_.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 24:

Mlle. George (1787–1867), French actress famous for her performances

in classical tragedy.

Footnote 25:

Mlle. Mars (1779–1847), French actress famous for her acting in

comedies of Molière.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 26:

The organist and music-teacher, I. I. Eck, spoken of in the _Memoirs

of a Young Man_, did nothing but give music-lessons and had no other

influence.

Footnote 27:

The English speak French worse than the Germans, but they only distort

the language, while the Germans degrade it.

Footnote 28:

The story is told that on one occasion in his own household, in the

presence, that is, of two or three heads of the secret police, two or

three maids of honour and generals in waiting, he tried his Medusa

glance on his daughter Marya Nikolayevna. She is like her father, and

her eyes really do recall the terrible look in his. The daughter

boldly confronted her father’s stare. The Tsar turned pale, his cheeks

twitched, and his eyes grew still more ferocious; his daughter met him

with the same look in hers. Every one turned pale and trembled; the

maids of honour and the generals in waiting dared not breathe, so

panic-stricken were they at this cannibalistic imperial duel with the

eyes, in the style of that described by Byron in ‘Don Juan.’ Nicholas

got up, he felt that he had met his match.

Footnote 29:

The President of the Academy proposed Araktcheyev as an honorary

member. Labzin asked in what the Count’s services to the arts

consisted. The President was at a loss and answered that Araktcheyev

was the man who stood nearest to the Tsar. ‘If that is a sufficient

reason, then I propose his coachman, Ilya Baykov,’ observed the

secretary, ‘he not only stands near the Tsar, but sits in front of

him.’ Labzin was a mystic and the editor of the _Messenger of Zion_;

Alexander himself was a mystic of the same sort, but with the fall of

Golitsyn’s ministry he handed over his former ‘brethren of Christ and

of the inner man’ to Araktcheyev to do with as he pleased. Labzin was

banished to Simbirsk.

Footnote 30:

Victor Joseph Étienne de Jouy, a popular French writer

(1764–1846).—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 31:

The officer, if I am not mistaken, Count Samoylov, had left the army

and was living quietly in Moscow. Nicholas recognised him at the

theatre; fancied that he was dressed with rather elaborate

originality, and expressed the royal desire that such costumes should

be ridiculed on the stage. The theatre director and patriot, Zagoskin,

commissioned one of his actors to represent Samoylov in some

vaudeville. The rumour of this was soon all over the town. When the

performance was over, the real Samoylov went into the director’s box

and asked permission to say a few words to his double. The director

was frightened, but, afraid of a scene, summoned the actor. ‘You have

acted me very well,’ the Count said to him, ‘and the only thing

wanting to complete the likeness is this diamond which I always wear;

allow me to hand it over to you; you will wear it next time you are

ordered to represent me.’ After this Samoylov calmly returned to his

seat. The stupid jest at his expense fell as flat as the proclamation

that Tchaadayev was mad and other august freaks.

Footnote 32:

Wife of Camille Desmoulins, who at his execution appealed to the

crowd, was arrested and also executed in 1794.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 33:

Alibaud attempted to assassinate Louis-Philippe in

1836.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 34:

Line from Pushkin’s poem, ‘The Tsar Nikita.’—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 35:

People, who knew the Ivashevs well, have since told me that they doubt

this story of the robber, and that, in speaking of the return of the

children and of the brother’s sympathy, I must not omit to mention the

noble conduct of Ivashev’s sisters. I heard the details from one of

them, Mme. Yazykov, who visited her brother in Siberia. But whether

she told me about the robber, I don’t remember. Has not Mme. Ivashev

been mixed up with Princess Trubetskoy, who sent letters and money to

Prince Obolensky through an unknown sectary? Have Ivashev’s letters

been preserved? It seems to us that we ought to have access to them.

Footnote 36:

_I.e._, the secret police.

Footnote 37:

‘Cantonists’ were soldiers’ sons educated at the government expense

and afterwards sent into the army.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 38:

Pestel, leader of the officers in the Southern Army who supported the

attempt to overthrow the autocracy and establish constitutional

government. The other four who were hanged were Ryleyev, Kahovsky,

Bestuzhev-Ryumin, and Muravyov-Apóstol. See Merezhkovsky’s novel,

_December the Fourteenth_, which adheres very closely to the

historical facts.

Footnote 39:

Mirovitch in 1762 tried to rescue from the Schlüsselburg the

legitimate heir to the Russian throne, known as Ivan VI., who perished

in the attempt. It is said that Catherine had given orders that he was

to be murdered if any attempt were made to release him. Mirovitch was

beheaded.

Footnote 40:

Pugatchov, the Cossack leader of the great rising of the serfs in

1775.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 41:

Nicholas’s victory over the Five was celebrated by a religious service

in Moscow. In the midst of the Kremlin the Metropolitan Filaret

thanked God for the murders. The whole of the Royal Family took part

in the service, near them the Senate and the ministers, and in the

immense space around packed masses of the Guards knelt bareheaded, and

also took part in the prayers; cannon thundered from the heights of

the Kremlin. Never have the gallows been celebrated with such pomp;

Nicholas knew the importance of the victory!

I was present at that service, a boy of fourteen lost in the crowd,

and on the spot, before that altar defiled by bloody rites. I swore to

avenge the murdered men, and dedicated myself to the struggle with

that throne, with that altar, with those cannons. I have not avenged

them, the Guards and the throne, the altar and the cannon all remain,

but for thirty years I have stood under that flag and have never once

deserted it.—(_Polar Star_, 1855.)

Footnote 42:

Paul’s mistress, the daughter of Lopuhin, the chief of the Moscow

Police, better known under her married name as Princess

Gagarin.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 43:

The date when the Polish rebellion broke out.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 44:

Tatyana Kutchin, known in Russian literature under her married name,

Passek. She wrote _Memoirs_, which throw interesting sidelights on

Herzen’s narrative.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 45:

Originally a convent, this was a famous girls’ school founded by

Catherine II.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 46:

Heinrich Zschokke (1771–1848), wrote in German _Tales of Swiss Life_,

in five vols., and also dramas—as well as a religious work _Stunden

der Andacht_, in eight vols., which was widely read up to the middle

of the nineteenth century and attacked for ascribing more importance

to religious feeling than to orthodox belief.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 47:

Translated by Juliet Soskice.

Footnote 48:

One of the leaders of the Decembrists.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 49:

Biron, favourite of the Empress Anna Ivanovna, was by her made

practically ruler of Russia during her reign and designated as

successor by her.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 50:

Joseph II. of Austria paid a famous visit to Catherine II. of Russia

in 1780.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 51:

Karamzin (1766–1826), author of a great _History of the Russian

State_, and also of novels in the sentimental romantic style of his

period.

Footnote 52:

In the _Philosophische Briefe_.

Footnote 53:

See the _Tagebuch_ of Bettina von Arnim for the account of her famous

first interview with Goethe.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 54:

Schiller’s poetry has not lost its influence on me. A few months ago I

read _Wallenstein_, that titanic work, aloud to my son. The man who

has lost his taste for Schiller has grown old or pedantic, has grown

hard or forgotten himself. What is one to say of these precocious

_altkluge Burschen_ who know his defects so well at seventeen?

Footnote 55:

Written in 1853.

Footnote 56:

Translated by Juliet Soskice.

Footnote 57:

The hero of _La Vie du Chevalier de Faublas_ (1787), by Louvet de

Couvray, is the type of the effeminate rake and fashionable exquisite

of the period.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 58:

Beaumarchais, author of _Le Barbier de Séville_ and _Le Mariage de

Figaro_.

Footnote 59:

Casti (1721–1803), an Italian poet, ‘attached by habit and taste to

the polished and frivolous society of the _ancien regime_, his

sympathies were nevertheless liberal,’ satirised Catherine II. and,

when exiled on that account from Vienna, had the spirit to resign his

Austrian pension. The _Talking Animals_, a satire on the predominance

of the foreigner in political life, is his best work. The influence of

his poems on Byron is apparent in ‘Don Juan.’—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 60:

Gonzaga was a Venetian painter who came to Petersburg in 1792 to paint

scenery for the Court Theatre. He planned the celebrated park at

Pavlovsk.

Footnote 61:

Derzhavin, Gavril Romanovitch (1743–1816), was poet-laureate to

Catherine II., and wrote numerous patriotic and a few other odes.

Footnote 62:

Krylov, Ivan Andreyevitch (1768–1844), was a very popular writer of

fables in verse.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 63:

Marmontel (1723–1799), author of the _Contes Moraux_ and other

stories.

Footnote 64:

Marivaux (1688–1763), author of numerous plays and a novel called

_Marianne_—all distinguished by an excessive refinement of sentiment

and language.

Footnote 65:

Shalikov and V. Panaev were insignificant writers of the early part of

the eighteenth century.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 66:

Arapov (1796–1861) wrote some twenty plays, but is chiefly remembered

for the _Chronicle of the Russian Theatre_ (published after his

death), a chronological record of everything performed on the Russian

stage up to 1825.

Footnote 67:

I. I. Dmitriev (1760–1837) wrote a number of fables and songs, of

which ‘The Little Dove’ is the best known. He was a great patron of

young literary men, and in 1810 was made Minister of Justice.

Footnote 68:

Vassily Lvovitch Pushkin, a minor poet, uncle of the famous

Pushkin.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 69:

The uniform of the secret police of which Benckendorf was head was

light blue with a white strap.

Footnote 70:

See later, Appendix to Chapter 7 for a full account of this.

Footnote 71:

The Kritsky brothers were said to have broken a bust of the Tsar at a

drinking party.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 72:

By the way, here is another of the fatherly measures of the ‘never to

be forgotten’ Nicholas. Foundling hospitals and the regulations for

their public inspection are among the best monuments of the reign of

Catherine. The very idea of maintaining hospitals, almshouses, and

orphan asylums on part of the percentage made by the loan banks from

the investment of their capital is remarkably intelligent.

These institutions were accepted, the banks and the regulations

enriched them, the foundling hospitals and almshouses flourished so

far as the universal thievishness of officials permitted them. Of the

children brought into the Foundling Hospital some remained in it,

while others were put out to be brought up by peasant-women in the

country; the latter remained peasants, while the former were brought

up in the institution itself. The more gifted among them were picked

out to continue the high-school course, while the less promising were

taught trades or sent to the Institute of Technology. It was the same

with the girls. Some were trained in handicrafts, others as children’s

nurses, while the cleverest became schoolmistresses and governesses.

But Nicholas dealt a terrible blow to this institution, too. It is

said that the Empress on one occasion, meeting in the house of one of

her friends the children’s governess, entered into conversation with

her and, being very much pleased with her, inquired where she had been

brought up, to which the young woman answered, the Foundling Hospital.

Any one would suppose that the Empress would be grateful to the

government for it. No—it gave her occasion to reflect on the

_impropriety_ of giving such an education to abandoned children.

A few months later Nicholas transferred the higher classes of the

Foundling Hospital to the Officers’ Institute, _i.e._ commanded that

the foundlings should no longer be put in these classes, but replaced

them with the children of officers. He even thought of a more radical

measure, he forbade the provincial institutions in their regulations

to accept new-born infants. The best commentary on this intelligent

measure is to be found in the records of the Minister of Justice under

the heading ‘Infanticide.’

Footnote 73:

Immense progress has been made in this respect. All that I have heard

of late of the theological Academies, and even of the Seminaries

confirms it. I need hardly say that it is not the ecclesiastical

authorities but the spirit of the pupils that is responsible for this

improvement.

Footnote 74:

Griboyedov’s famous comedy, which appeared and had a large circulation

in manuscript copies in 1824, its performance and publication being

prevented by the Censorship. When performed later it was in a very

mutilated form. It was a lively satire on Moscow society and full of

references to well-known persons, such as Izmailov and Tolstoy ‘the

American.’ Griboyedov was imprisoned in 1825 in connection with the

Fourteenth of December.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 75:

Stanislav Leszcynski, king of Poland from 1702 to 1709. His daughter

Maria was married to Louis XV. of France.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 76:

Lalande (1732–1807), a French astronomer connected with the theory of

the planets of Mercury.

Footnote 77:

Geoffroy Saint-Hilaire (1772–1844), French naturalist and author of

many books on zoology and biology—in which, in opposition to Cuvier,

he advanced the theory of the variation of species under the influence

of environment.

Footnote 78:

Oken, German naturalist, who aimed at deducing a system of natural

philosophy from _à priori_ propositions, and incidentally threw off

some valuable and suggestive ideas.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 79:

At that time there were none of the inspectors and subinspectors who

played the part of my Pyotr Fyodorovitch in the lecture-room.

Footnote 80:

A pun on the name—the phrase meaning also ‘Nine all but a

little.’—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 81:

Merzlyakov, a critic and translator of some merit.—(_Translator’s

Note._)

Footnote 82:

Abencerrages, a Moorish family, on the legend of whose tragic fate in

Granada, Chateaubriand founded his romance _Les Aventures du Dernier

des Abencérages_.

Footnote 83:

Tredyakovsky (1703–1769), son of a priest at Astrakhan, is said, like

Lomonossov, to have walked to Moscow in pursuit of learning. He was

the author of inferior poems, but did great service to Russian culture

by his numerous translations. He was the first to write in Russian as

spoken.

Footnote 84:

Kostrov (1750–1796), a peasant’s son and a seminarist, wrote in

imitation of Derzhavin, but is better known for his translations of

the Iliad, Apuleius and Ossian.

Footnote 85:

Heraskov (1733–1807), author of an immense number of poems in

pseudo-classic style. Wiener says ‘they now appal us with their inane

voluminousness.’ But readers of Turgenev will remember how greatly

they were admired by Punin. The best known of his epics is the

Rossiad, dealing with Ivan the Terrible.

Footnote 86:

Knyazhnin (1742–1791) wrote numerous tragedies and comedies, chiefly

adaptations from the French or Italian, and of no literary

merit.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 87:

Byelinsky, Vissarion Grigoryevitch (1810–1848), was the greatest of

Russian critics. See later, Chapter 25, Vol. II., for an account of

him.

Footnote 88:

Kavelin (1818–1855), a writer of brilliant articles on political and

economical questions. Friend of Turgenev.

Footnote 89:

Pirogov (1810–1881), the great surgeon and medical authority, was

the first in Russia to investigate disease by experiments on

animals, and to use anæsthetics for operations. He took an active

part in education and the reforms of the early years of Alexander

II.’s reign, and published many treatises on medical subjects. To

his genius and influence as Professor of Medicine in Petersburg

University is largely due the very high standard of medical training

in Russia.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 90:

Glinka, author of patriotic verses of no merit. Referred to as ‘the

officer’ by Pushkin in a poem.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 91:

How diversely Humboldt’s travels were understood in Russia may be

gathered from the account of an Ural Cossack who served in the office

of the Governor of Perm; he liked to describe how he had escorted the

mad Prussian Prince, Gumplot. What did he do? ‘Just the same silly

things, collecting grasses, looking at the sand; at Solontchaki he

said to me, through the interpreter, ‘Go into the water and get what’s

at the bottom’; well, I got just what is usually at the bottom, and he

asks, ‘Is the water very cold at the bottom?’ ‘No, my lad,’ I thought,

‘you won’t catch me.’ So I drew myself up at attention, and answered,

‘When it’s our duty, your Highness, it’s of no consequence, we are

glad to do our best.’

Footnote 92:

Homyakov. See later, Chapter 30, for Herzen’s account of this leader

of the Slavophil movement.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 93:

Pic-de-la-Mirandole (1463–1494), a learned Italian who was the most

famous of all infant prodigies, a mediæval ‘Admirable

Crichton.’—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 94:

Ledru-Rollin (1808–1874), member of the French Provisional Government

of 1848, and one of the earliest advocates of universal adult

suffrage.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 95:

Catherine II., born a German princess, rose to be Empress of Russia

through the murder—by her orders or with her connivance—of her

husband, Peter III., to the great advantage of the country.

Footnote 96:

Mrs. Radcliffe (1764–1823) wrote many stories, _The Mysteries of

Udolpho_ and _The Italians_ being the best known. All largely turn on

mysterious haunted castles, and had great vogue in their

day.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 97:

Manuel (J. A.), a man of great independence and honesty, was expelled

from the Chambre des Députés for his opposition to the war with Spain

in 1823.

Footnote 98:

Dupont de l’Eure (J. C.), a leader in the revolution of 1830, was

afterwards president of the Provisional Government in 1848.

Footnote 99:

Armand Carrel (1800–1836), as editor of _Le National_, offered

spirited opposition to Charles X., as well as to aggressive acts of

the government of Louis-Philippe.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 100:

Here is what Denis Davydov[101] tells in his Memoirs:

‘The Tsar said one day to A. P. Yermolov: “I was once in a very

terrible position during the Polish War. My wife was expecting her

confinement, the mutiny had broken out in Novgorod, I had only two

squadrons of Horse Guards left me; the news from the army only reached

me through Königsberg. I was forced to surround myself with soldiers

discharged from hospital.”’

The Memoirs of this general of partisans leave no room for doubt that

Nicholas, like Araktcheyev, like all cold-hearted, cruel and

revengeful people, was a coward. Here is what General Tchetchensky

told Davydov: ‘You know that I can appreciate manliness and so you

will believe my words. I was near the Tsar on the 14th December, and I

watched him all the time. I can assure you on my honour that the Tsar,

who was very pale all the time, had his heart in his boots.’

And again Davydov himself tells us: ‘During the riot in the Haymarket,

the Tsar only visited the capital on the second day when order was

restored. The Tsar was at Peterhof, and himself observed casually, “I

was standing all day with Volkonsky on a mound in the garden,

listening for the sound of cannon-shot from the direction of

Petersburg.” Instead of anxiously listening in the garden, and

continually sending couriers to Petersburg,’ added Davydov, ‘he ought

to have hastened there himself; any one of the least manliness would

have done so. On the following day (when everything was quiet) the

Tsar rode in his carriage into the crowd, which filled the square, and

shouted to it, “On your knees!” and the crowd hurriedly obeyed the

order. The Tsar, seeing several people dressed in parti-coloured

clothes (among those following the carriage), imagined that they were

suspicious characters, and ordered the poor wretches to be taken to

the lock-up and, turning to the people, began shouting: “They are all

wretched Poles, they have egged you on.” Such an ill-timed sally

completely ruined the effect in my opinion.’

A strange sort of bird was this Nicholas!

Footnote 101:

Davydov (see Tolstoy’s _War and Peace_) and Yermolov were both leaders

of the partisan or guerilla warfare against the French in

1812.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 102:

And where are the Kritskys? What had they done? Who tried them? For

what were they condemned?

Footnote 103:

_I.e._, Tatyana Kutchin, the ‘cousin from Kortcheva,’ mentioned in

Chapter 3.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 104:

Venevitinov, a young poet whose few poems showed the greatest promise.

He died at the age of seventeen.

Footnote 105:

The members of the Petrashevsky group, of whom Dostoevsky was one,

were condemned to death, and led out to the scaffold. At the last

moment their sentence was transmuted to penal servitude in

Siberia.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 106:

_I.e._, of supervision by the secret police, whose light-blue uniform

was worn with a white strap.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 107:

The dynasty of kings of Poland from 1386 to 1572.

Footnote 108:

Karl Sand, a student of Jena University, who in 1819 assassinated the

German dramatist Kotzebue, because he threw ridicule on the

Burschenschaft movement.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 109:

In 1844, I met Perevoshtchikov at Shtchepkin’s and sat beside him at

dinner. Towards the end he could not resist saying: ‘It is a pity, a

very great pity, that circumstances prevented you from taking up work,

you had excellent abilities.’

‘But you know it’s not for every one to follow you up to heaven. We

are busy here on earth at work of some sort.’

‘Upon my word, to be sure that may be work of a sort. Hegelian

philosophy perhaps. I have read your articles, there is no

understanding them; bird’s language, that’s queer sort of work. No,

indeed!’

For a long while I was amused at this verdict, that is, for a long

while I could not understand that our language really was poor; if it

were a bird’s, it must have been the bird that was Minerva’s

favourite.

Footnote 110:

Among the papers sent me from Moscow, I found a note in which I

informed my cousin who was in the country that I had taken my degree.

‘The examination is over, and I am a graduate! You cannot imagine the

sweet feeling of freedom after four years of work. Did you think of me

on Thursday? It was a stifling day, and the torture lasted from nine

in the morning till nine in the evening.’ (26th June 1833.) I fancy I

added two hours for effect or to round off the sentence. But for all

my pleasure, my vanity was stung by another student’s winning the gold

medal. In a second letter of the 6th July, I find: ‘To-day was the

prizegiving, but I was not there. I did not care to be second at the

giving of the medals.’

Footnote 111:

St. Just was a member of the Convention and the Committee of Public

Safety, a follower of Robespierre and beheaded with him at the age of

twenty-seven.

Footnote 112:

Hoche and Marceau were generals of the French Revolutionary Army. Both

were engaged in the pacification of La Vendée. Both perished before

reaching the age of thirty.

Footnote 113:

Desmoulins was one of the early leaders of the French Revolution, and

headed the attack on the Bastille; afterwards accused of being a

Moderate and beheaded together with Danton at the age of thirty-four.

Footnote 114:

Escousse (b. 1813) and Lebras (b. 1816) were poets who wrote in

collaboration a successful play, _Farruck le Maure_, followed by

an unsuccessful one called _Raymond_. On the failure of the latter

they committed suicide in 1832. Béranger wrote a poem on

them.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 115:

_I.e._, Nikolay Pavlovitch Golohvastov, the younger of the two sons of

a sister of Herzen’s father. These two sons are fully described in

Vol. II. Chapter 31.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 116:

This is the earliest record of Russian history. It begins with the

Deluge and continues in leisurely fashion up to the year 1110. Nestor,

of whom nothing is really known, is assumed to have been a monk of the

twelfth century.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 117:

Enfantin, a French engineer, was one of the founders of

Saint-Simonism.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 118:

Familiar to all English school-girls of the last generation in the

French as _La Jeune Sibérienne_ by Xavier de Maistre. I cannot

discover whether the Russian version is the original and the French

the translation or vice versa.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 119:

Translated by Juliet Soskice.

Footnote 120:

J. S. Bailly (1736–1793), one of the early leaders of the French

revolution, and an astronomer and literary man of some distinction,

was Mayor of Paris after the taking of the Bastille, and executed in

1793.

Footnote 121:

Fieschi, the celebrated conspirator, executed in 1836 for

the attempt with an ‘infernal machine’ on the life of

Louis-Philippe.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 122:

The League of Public Welfare was formed in the reign of Alexander I.

to support philanthropic undertakings and education, to improve the

administration of justice, and to promote the economical welfare of

the country. The best men in Russia belonged to it. At first approved

by Alexander, it was afterwards repressed, and it split into the

‘Union of the North,’ which aimed at establishing constitutional

government, and the ‘Union of the South’ led by Pestel, which aimed at

republicanism. The two Unions combined in the attempt of December the

Fourteenth.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 123:

See Gogol’s _Dead Souls_.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 124:

A character in Gogol’s _Dead Souls_.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 125:

Philip Wouverman (1619–1668), a Dutch master who excelled in drinking

and hunting scenes.

Footnote 126:

Jacques Callot (1592–1635), a French painter and

engraver.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 127:

The epithet in the last line is left to the imagination in Russian

also.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 128:

Among those who have distinguished themselves in this line of late

years is the notorious Liprandi, who drew up a scheme for founding an

Academy of Espionage (1858).

Footnote 129:

I need not say that this was a barefaced lie, a shameful police trap.

Footnote 130:

Marlinsky (pseudonym for Bestuzhev) (1795–1837), author of numerous

tales, extremely romantic in style and subject. Readers of Turgenev

will remember that he was the favourite author of the hero of _Knock,

Knock, Knock_.

Footnote 131:

Zagoskin (1789–1852), author of popular historical novels, sentimental

and patriotic.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 132:

The _Prisoner of the Caucasus_, _Voynarovsky_, and the _Fountain of

Bahtchisaray_ are poems of Pushkin’s. The line quoted is from the last

of the three.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 133:

The Votyaks are a Mongolian tribe, found in Siberia and Eastern

Russia.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 134:

Jean-Baptiste Carrier (1756–1794) was responsible for the _noyades_

and massacre of 1600 people at Nantes, while suppressing the

counter-revolutionary rising of La Vendée.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 135:

Pun on the Russian word for ‘translate,’ which also means ‘transfer

from place to place.’—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 136:

In 1802, Alexander I. ordered a report to be sent him concerning the

management by Major-General Izmailov of the latter’s estates in Tula,

where serfs were tortured and imprisoned by their owner on the

slightest provocation. By the connivance of the local authorities,

Izmailov was able to retain control and persist in his brutal

practices till 1830. Even then he was only punished by being deprived

of the management of his estates and interned in a small town. Both

Izmailov and Tolstoy ‘the American’ are referred to in Griboyedov’s

famous play, _Woe from Wit_.

Footnote 137:

Mamonov was one of the lovers of Catherine II., declared insane for

having married against her wishes.—(_Translator’s Notes._)

Footnote 138:

Minih was a minister and general prominent under Peter the Great and

Anna. On the latter’s death he brought about the downfall of Biron,

was exiled by Elizabeth, and finally brought back from Siberia by

Catherine.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 139:

Simon Konarski, a Polish revolutionary, also active in the ‘Young

Europe’ (afterwards ‘Young Italy’) movement, lived in disguise and

with a false passport in Poland, founding a printing press and

carrying on active propaganda till he was caught and shot at Vilna in

1839. His admirers cut the post to which he was tied into bits which

they preserved as relics of a saint.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 140:

Speransky, a leading statesman of the early period of the reign of

Alexander I., banished in 1812 on a trumped-up charge of treason,

recalled by Nicholas. He was responsible for the codification of

Russian laws. See Tolstoy’s _War and Peace_ for sketch of

him.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 141:

This gave Count Rastoptchin occasion for a biting jest at Pestel’s

expense. They were both dining with the Tsar. The Tsar, who was

standing at the window, asked: ‘What’s that on the church, the black

thing on the cross?’ ‘I can’t distinguish,’ observed Count

Rastoptchin. ‘You must ask Boris Ivanovitch, he has wonderful eyes, he

sees from here what is being done in Siberia.’

Footnote 142:

I see with great pleasure that the New York papers have several times

repeated this.

Footnote 143:

Seslavin was a famous leader of the guerilla warfare against Napoleon

in 1812.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 144:

An epigram of Pushkin’s contains the two lines:—

‘“I’ll buy all,” said Gold.

“I’ll take all,” said Steel.’—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 145:

All their prayers may be reduced to a petition for the continuance of

their race, for their crops, and the preservation of their herds.

‘May Yumala grant that from one sheep may be born two, from one grain

may come five, that my children may have children.’

There is something miserable and gloomy, the survival from ancient

times of oppression, in this lack of confidence in life on earth, and

daily bread. The devil (Shaitan) is regarded as equal to God. I saw a

terrible fire in a village, in which the inhabitants were mixed

Russian and Votyak. The Russians were hard at work shouting and

dragging out their things, the tavern-keeper was particularly

conspicuous among them. It was impossible to check the fire, but it

was easy at first to save things. The Votyaks were huddled together on

a little hill, weeping copiously and doing nothing.

Footnote 146:

A similar reply (if Kurbanovsky did not invent this one) was made by

peasants in Germany when refusing to be converted to Catholicism.

Footnote 147:

Cyril and Methodius were brothers who in the ninth century evangelised

in Thrace, Moesia and Moravia, invented the Slav alphabet, and made a

Slav translation of the Bible. They are saints of both the Greek and

the Catholic Churches.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 148:

In the Province of Vyatka the peasants are particularly fond of

forming new settlements. Very often three or four clearings are

suddenly discovered in the forest. The immense waste lands and forests

(now half cut down) tempt the peasants to take this _res nullius_

which is left unused. The Minister of Finance has several times been

obliged to confirm these squatters in possession of the land.

Footnote 149:

Zhukovsky (1786–1852), the well-known poet, was tutor to the

Tsarevitch, afterwards Alexander II. He was a man of fine and

generous character. His original work is not of the first order,

but as a translator from the European and classical languages he

was of invaluable service in the development of Russian

culture.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 150:

Leroux, a follower of Saint Simon, of the first half of the nineteenth

century.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 151:

Gebel, a well-known musical composer of the period.

Footnote 152:

I thought fit, I don’t understand why, to write these scenes in verse.

Probably I thought that anybody could write unrhymed five-foot

iambics, since even Pogodin[153] wrote them. In 1839 or 1840, I gave

both the manuscripts to Byelinsky to read and calmly awaited his

eulogies. But next day Byelinsky sent them back to me with a note in

which he said: ‘Do please have them copied to run on without being

divided into lines, then I will read them with pleasure, as it is I am

bothered all the time by the idea of their being in verse.’

Byelinsky killed both my dramatic efforts. It is always pleasant to

pay one’s debts. In 1841, Byelinsky published a long dialogue upon

literature in the _Notes of the Fatherland_. ‘How do you like my last

article?’ he asked me, as we were dining together _en petit comité_ at

Dusseau’s. ‘Very much,’ I answered, ‘all that you say is excellent,

but tell me, please, how could you go on struggling for two hours to

talk to that man without seeing at the first word that he was a fool?’

‘That’s perfectly true,’ said Byelinsky, bursting into laughter.

‘Well, my boy, that is crushing! Why, he is a perfect fool!’

Footnote 153:

Pogodin, chiefly known as an historian of a peculiar Slavophil tinge,

was co-editor with Shevyryov of the _Moskvityanin_, a reactionary

journal, and wrote historical novels of little merit.—(_Translator’s

Note._)

Footnote 154:

The reference is to the ‘Arzamass,’ a literary club of which Karamzin,

Batyushkov, Uvarov, this Bludov and some others were members. The town

Arzamass is noted for its geese.—(_Translator’s Note._)

Footnote 155:

_Il a voulu le bien de ses sujets._

Footnote 156:

The name means ‘not a woman.’—(_Translator’s Note._)

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TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES

Page Changed from Changed to

160 they used to keep them for going they used to keep them for going

walks, that strangers on walks, that strangers

● Typos fixed; non-standard spelling and dialect retained.

● Used numbers for footnotes, placing them all at the end of the last

chapter.

● Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.

My past and thoughts, vol. 1 (of 6) · 第 12 / 12 章