(_BY OUR OWN PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL POETESS_.)
[Illustration]
I would I loved some belted Earl,
Some Baronet, or K.C.B.,
But I'm a most unhappy girl,
And no such luck's in store for me!
I would I loved some Soldier bold,
Who leads his troops where cannons pop,
But if the bitter truth be told--
I love a man who walks a shop!
For oh! a King of Men is he--
With princely strut and stiffened spine--
So his, and his alone, shall be,
This fondly foolish heart of mine!
On Remnant Days--from morn till night,
When blows fall fast, and words run high,
When frenzied females fiercely fight
For bargains that they long to buy--
From hot attack he does not flinch,
But stands his ground with visage pale,
And all the time looks every inch
The Hero of that Summer Sale!
For oh! a King of Men is he--
Whom shop-assistants call to "Sign!"
So his, and his alone, shall be
This fondly foolish heart of mine!
* * * * *
MONDAY, _Jan._ 18, 1892. "Bath and West of England's Society's Cheese
School at Frome." Of this School, the _Times_, judging by results,
speaks highly of "the practical character of the instruction given
at the School." This is a bad look-out for Eton and Harrow, not
to say for Winchester and Westminster also. All parents who wish
their children to be "quite the cheese" in Society generally, and
particularly for Bath and the West of England, where, of course,
Society is remarkably exclusive, cannot do better, it is evident,
than send them to the Bath and West of England Cheese School.
* * * * *
ON THE TRAILL.--It is suggested that in future M.P. should stand for
Minor Poet. Would this satisfy Mr. LEWIS MORRIS? Or would he insist on
being gazetted as a Major?
* * * * *