["All the judicial wisdom of the Supreme Court has met in
solemn and secret conclave, heralded by letters from the heads
of the Bench, admitting serious evils in the working of the
High Court of Justice; a full working day was appropriated for
the occasion; the learned Judges met at 11 A.M. (nominally)
and rose promptly for luncheon, and for the day, at 1·30
P.M. Two-and-a-half hours' work, during which each of the
twenty-eight judicial personages no doubt devoted all his
faculties and experience to the discovery, discussion, and
removal of the admittedly numerous defects in the working of
the Judicature Acts! Two-and-a-half hours, which might have
been stolen from the relaxations of a Saturday afternoon!
Two-and-a-half hours, for which the taxpayers of the United
Kingdom pay some eight hundred guineas! Truly the spectacle
is eminently calculated to inspire the country with confidence
and hopes of reform."--_Extract from Letter to the Times._]
SCENE--_A Room at the Royal Courts. Lord CHANCELLOR, Lord
CHIEF JUSTICE, MASTER of the ROLLS, Lords Justices, Justices._
_L.C._ Well, I'm very glad to see you all looking so well, but can
anyone tell me why we've met at all?
_L.C.J._ Talking of meetings, do you remember that Exeter story dear
old JACK TOMPKINS used to tell on the Western Circuit?
[Illustration: Fee-simple.]
[_Proceeds to tell JACK TOMPKINS's story at great length to
great interest of Chancery Judges._
_M.R._ (_who has listened with marked impatience_). Why, my dear
fellow, it isn't a Western Circuit story at all. It was on the
Northern Circuit at Appleby.
[_Proceeds to tell the same story all over again, substituting
Appleby for Exeter. At the conclusion of story, Great laughter
from Chancery Judges. Common Law Judges look bored, having
all told same story on and about their own Circuits._
_L.C._ Very good--very good--used to tell it myself on the South Wales
Circuit--but what have we met for?
_Lord Justice A._ I say, what do you think about this
cross-examination fuss? It seems to me--
_L.C.J._ Talking of cross-examination--do you fellows remember the
excellent story dear old JOHNNIE BROWBEAT used to tell about the
Launceston election petition?
[_Proceeds to tell story in much detail. L.C. looks
uncomfortable at its conclusion_.
_M.R._ (_cutting in_). Why, my dear fellow, it wasn't Launceston at
all, it was Lancaster, and--
[_Tells story all over again to the Chancery Judges._
_L.C._ Yes--excellent. I thought it took place at Chester--but really,
now, we must get to business. So, first of all, will anyone kindly
tell me what the business is?
_Mr. Justice A._ (_a very young Judge_). Well, the fact is, I believe
the Public--
_Chorus of Judges_. The what?
_Mr. Justice A._ (_with hesitation_). Why--I was going to say there
seems to be a sort of discontent amongst the Public--
_L.C._ (_with dignity_). Really, really--what have we to do with the
Public? But in case there should be any truth in this extraordinary
statement, I think we might as well appoint a Committee to look into
it, and then we can meet again some day and hear what it is all about.
_L.C.J._ Yes, a Committee by all means; the smaller the better. "Too
many cooks," as dear old HORACE puts it.
_M.R._ Talking of cooks, isn't it about lunch time?
[_General consensus of opinion in favour of lunching. As
they adjourn, L.C.J. detains Chancery Judges to tell them a
story about something that happened at Bodmin, and, to prevent
mistakes, tells it in West Country dialect. M.R. immediately
repeats it in strong Yorkshire, and lays the venue at
Bradford. Result; that the whole of HER MAJESTY's Courts in
London were closed for one day._
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