SIR,--I used to be a very regular attendant at the Theatres. I am not so
now, and I find that by staying away, I have time at my disposal, which
I never had before, for reading, study, and social intercourse. I save
my money and preserve my health. And for this I have most sincerely to
thank the Managers of our London Theatres, who, within the last few
years, have adopted a style of pictorial advertisement, which, though
possibly attractive to simple-minded folk, or restless youth, exercises
a singularly deterrent effect on the middle-aged playgoer, and on all
imaginative and timid persons, especially of the feminine gender.
For example, speaking as a mediaevalist, or one of the middle-ages, if I
see a huge coloured picture on a hoarding representing several
sensational situations which form a frame for the culminating horror of
the play in the centre, as an old stager I know that play from beginning
to end, and take in the whole plot at a glance. I can imagine the
dialogue without doing much injury to the author, and, as I have seen
the principal actors and actresses, I can, in my own mind, furnish the
piece with a cast probably far superior to that at the particular
theatre where the melodrama, thus pictorially advertised, is being
performed. The scenery and costumes I have before me on the hoarding.
This applies to several theatres. As to timid ladies they shrink from
seeing the realisation of the terrible situations depicted on the
picture-poster. They have seen quite enough: they will wait until
something less startling shall be substituted for this display of crime,
cruelty, and violence.
It is really very kind of the Managers to provide for outsiders in this
way, but the outsiders remain outsiders, and have no desire to enter
these chambers of Dramatic Horrors. As a supporter of shows and
exhibitions, with considerable experience, I know well enough that the
representation outside the booth is very much superior to the reality
within; for example, the outside picture of a Fat Woman exaggerates the
corpulence of the Lady on view inside the caravan; the Mermaid is most
attractive in the picture, probably floating about playing a harp, while
the reality is a dummy figure composed of a monkey's and cat's skin sewn
together and stuffed. I hope the Managers will develop their pictorial
advertisements still further; I speak selfishly, as if everyone takes my
view, where will the audiences be?
The only advertisements that ever attract me, and cause me to say, "Ah!
I should like to see _that_!" are those which, on closer inspection,
I find to be only the artistic trade-marks of some new soap,
beetle-powder, peculiar whiskey, sewing machines, or soothing syrup.
Pray, Sir, do all you can to encourage Theatrical Art in Mural
Decorations, and save the time and money of,
Yours, PATER FAMILIAS.
P.S.--I shall take my boys in holiday time the round of the hoardings,
and tell them all about the plays. Cheap entertainment, eh?
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Mr. BLUNDELL MAPLE, M. P. elect for Dulwich--not by any means a dullidge
sort of constituency in the opinion of the Conservative Candidate's
Agent--is to be congratulated on attaining his majority. When he has
prepared his maiden speech for the House, he may hum to himself:--
"Now I'm furnished, Now I'm furnished for my flight!"
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