AMADEUS
You have mentioned him several times in your letters.
CECILIA
You know him since your Dresden period, don't you?
AMADEUS
Yes. He has great gifts.
CECILIA
He thinks a great deal of you, too.
AMADEUS
I'm pleased to hear it.
CHAMBERMAID (_goes out_)
AMADEUS (_helping himself to the cold meat_)
Can I help you to some?
CECILIA
No, thanks. I have had all I want.
AMADEUS
Yes, you have had your supper already--all of you, or "everybody," as
you put it a while ago.
CECILIA (_ingenuously_)
I had my supper with Sigismund.
AMADEUS
Was he in Berlin all the time?
CECILIA
He got there two days after me, as I told you in my letters.
AMADEUS
Of course--you have told me everything. Once he accompanied you to the
National Gallery.
CECILIA
He also took me to see the Pergamene marbles.[6]
[6] A large collection of art works and other antiquities,
recovered by excavations on the site of the ancient city of
Pergamon in Asia Minor, are kept in the Pergamene Museum,
Berlin.
AMADEUS (_facetiously_)
You're doing a lot for his general education, I must say.--But I should
like to know by what fraud Sigismund got himself into that reception of
the Director's.
CECILIA
By what fraud?
AMADEUS
Well, you wrote me that he created a regular sensation with those
waltzes of his.
CECILIA
So he did. But he didn't have to use fraud to get in. Being a nephew of
the Baroness, there was no reason why he should resort to such methods.
AMADEUS
Oh, yes, I didn't remember that.
CECILIA
And by the way, the Director asked very eagerly about you.
AMADEUS
He thinks a great deal of me....
CECILIA (_with a smile_)
Yes, he really does. The moment your new opera is ready....
AMADEUS
And so on! (_He goes on eating_) It surprises me, however, that he
should ask you about me.
CECILIA
Why does that surprise you?
AMADEUS (_as if meaning no offense_)
Well, it rather surprises me that he should connect our respective
personalities to that extent. Hasn't Berlin heard yet that we are going
to be divorced?
CECILIA
Why ... what does that mean?
AMADEUS (_laughing_)
Rumors to that effect are afloat.
CECILIA
What? Well, I declare!
AMADEUS
Yes, it's incredible what the popular gossip can invent. It's even in
the newspapers. His Highness the Prince Sigismund Maradas-Lohsenstein
is going to lead you to the altar. The necessary dispensation will be
furnished by the Pope. Idiotic--isn't it?
CECILIA
Yes.--But, my dear, you say nothing about what is still more idiotic.
AMADEUS
And what can that be?
CECILIA
That you are on the verge of believing this piece of idiocy.
AMADEUS
I...? How can you.... Oh, no!
CECILIA
You haven't considered, for instance, that I am three years older than
he.
AMADEUS (_startled_)
Well, if it's nothing but those three years of difference in....
CECILIA
No, it isn't that. No, indeed! Even if I were younger than he, I should
never think of it.
AMADEUS
But if his devotion should prove more deeply rooted than you have
supposed so far?
CECILIA
Not even then.
AMADEUS
Why?
CECILIA
Why...? I know that it couldn't last forever anyhow.
AMADEUS
Have you the end in mind already?
CECILIA
I am not saying that I have it in mind.... But I don't doubt it must
come, as it always comes.
AMADEUS
And then...?
CECILIA (_shrugs her shoulders_)
AMADEUS
And then?
CECILIA
How could I know, Amadeus? There are prospects of so many kinds.
AMADEUS (_cowering a moment before those words_)
Yes, that's true. Life is full of prospects. Everywhere, wherever you
turn, there are temptations and promises--when you have determined to
be free, and to take life lightly, as we have done.... That's what you
meant, was it not?
CECILIA
Yes, precisely.
AMADEUS
Tell me, Cecilia.... (_He draws closer to her_) There is one thing I
should like to know--whether Sigismund has any idea that your mind is
harboring such thoughts--which, after all, would appear rather weird
to the other party concerned.
CECILIA
Sigismund...? How can you imagine?! Such things you admit only to your
friends. (_She gives her hand to him_)
AMADEUS (_in the same friendly manner_)
But if he should notice anything ... although I think it very
improbable that he is the kind of man who would.... But let us suppose
that he concluded from various signs that some such thoughts were
passing through your head--would you deny them, if he asked you?
CECILIA
I believe myself capable of it.
AMADEUS (_with a shrinking_)
Oh.... Let me tell you, Cecilia.... You are having something definite
in mind.... Yes, I am sure of it.... It's a question of some definite
prospect.
CECILIA (_smiling_)
That might be possible.
AMADEUS
What has happened, Cecilia?
CECILIA
Nothing.
AMADEUS
Then there is danger in the air.
CECILIA
Danger...? What could that mean to us? To him who has no obligations
there can be no cause for fear.
AMADEUS (_taking her lightly by the arm_)
Stop playing with words! I can see through the whole thing just the
same.--I know! It has been brought home to me by a number of passages
in your letters--although they ceased long ago to have the frankness
due to our friendship. That new prospect is Wedius!
CECILIA
In what respect did my letters fail to be frank? Didn't I write you
immediately after the "Onyegin" performance, that there was something
fascinating about his personality?
AMADEUS
So you have said before, of many people. But there was never any such
prospect implied in it.
CECILIA
Everything begins to take on new meanings when you are free.
AMADEUS
You are not telling me everything.... What has happened?
CECILIA
Nothing has happened, but (_with sudden decision_) if I had stayed ...
who knows....
AMADEUS (_seems to shrink back again; then he walks to and fro;
finally he remains standing in the background, near one of the
windows_) Poor Sigismund!
CECILIA
Why pity him? He knows nothing about it.
AMADEUS (_resuming his superior tone_)
Is that what draws you to Berlin?
CECILIA
No!... Indeed, no! The spell has been broken ... it seems....
AMADEUS
And yet you talk of going about New Year....
CECILIA (_rising_)
My dear Amadeus, I am really too tired to discuss that matter to-day.
Now I shall say good-night to you. It is quite late. (_She holds out
her hand to him_)
AMADEUS (_faltering_)
Good-night, Cecilia!... (_He clings to her hand_) You have been gone
three weeks. I shall leave early the day after to-morrow--and when _I_
return, you will be gone, I suppose.... There can't be so very much to
your friendship, if you won't stay and talk a while with me under such
circumstances.
CECILIA
What's the use of being sentimental? Leave-takings are familiar things
to us.
AMADEUS
That's true. But nevertheless this will be a new kind of leave-taking,
and a new kind of home-coming also.
CECILIA
Well, seeing that it had to turn out this way....
AMADEUS
But neither of us ever imagined that it would turn out this way.
CECILIA
Oh?
AMADEUS
No, Cecilia, we did _not_ imagine it. The remarkable thing has been
that we retained our faith in each other in the midst of all doubts,
and that, even when away from each other, we used to feel calm and
confident far beyond what was safe, I suppose. But it was splendid.
Separation itself used to have a sort of charm of its own--_formerly_.
CECILIA
Naturally. It isn't possible to love in that undisturbed fashion except
when you are miles apart.
AMADEUS
You may be able to make fun of it to-day, Cecilia, but there will never
again be anything like it--neither for you nor for me. You can be sure
of that.
CECILIA
I know that as well as you do.--But why should you all at once begin to
talk as if, somehow, everything would be over between us two, and as if
the best part of our life had been irretrievably lost? That's not the
case, after all. It cannot possibly be the case. Both of us know that
we remain the same as before--don't we--and that everything else that
has happened to us, or may happen to us, can be of no particular
importance.... And even if it should become important, we shall always
be able to join hands, no matter what chasms open between us.
AMADEUS
You speak very sensibly, as usual.
CECILIA
If you seduce ladies by the dozen, and if gentlemen shoot each other
dead for my sake--as they do for the sake of Countess Philine--what has
that to do with our friendship?
AMADEUS
That's beyond contradiction. Nevertheless, I hadn't expected--in fact,
I think it nothing less than admirable--your ability to adjust yourself
to everything--your way of remaining perfectly calm in the midst of any
new experiences or expectations.
CECILIA
Calm...? Here I am ... by our fireplace ... taking tea in your company.
Here I can and shall always be calm. That's the significance of our
whole life in common. Whatever may be my destiny in the world at large
will slip off me when I enter here. All the storms are on the outside.
AMADEUS
That's more than you can be sure of, Cecilia. Things might happen that
would weigh more heavily on you than you can imagine at this moment.
CECILIA
I shall always have the strength to throw off things according to my
will before I come to you. And if that strength should ever fail me, I
shall come to the door and no farther.
AMADEUS
Oh, no, you mustn't! That would not be in keeping with our agreement.
It is just when life grows heavy that I'll be here to help you bear it.
CECILIA
Who knows whether you will always be ready to do so?
AMADEUS
Always--on my oath! No matter what befall you, whether it be sad or
wretched, you can always find refuge and sympathy with me. But with all
my heart I wish you may be spared most of those things.
CECILIA
That I be spared...? No, Amadeus, a wish like that I can't accept.
Hitherto--I have lived so little hitherto. And I am longing for it. I
long for all that's sad and sweet in life, for all that's beautiful and
all that's pitiful. I long for storms, for perils--for worse than that,
perhaps.
AMADEUS
No, Cecilia, that's nothing but imagination!
CECILIA
Oh, no!
AMADEUS
Certainly, Cecilia. You don't know very much as yet, and you imagine
many things simpler and cleaner than they are. But there are things you
couldn't stand, and others of which you are not capable.--I know you,
Cecilia.
CECILIA
You know me?--You know only what I have been to you--what I have been
as your beloved and your wife. And as you used to mean the whole world
to me--as all my longing, all my tenderness, was bounded by you--we
could never guess in those days what might prove my destiny when the
real world was thrown open to me.--Even to-day, Amadeus, I am no longer
the same as before.... Or perhaps I have always been the same as I am
now, but didn't know it merely. And something has fallen away, that
used to cover me up in the past.... Yes, that's it: for now I can feel
all those desires that used to pass me by as if deflected by a cuirass
of insensibility.... Now I can feel how they touch my body and my soul,
filling me with qualms and passions. The earth seems full of adventure.
The sky seems radiant with flames. And it is as if I could see myself
stand waiting with wide-open arms.
AMADEUS (_as if calling to somebody in flight_)
Cecilia!
CECILIA
What is the matter?
AMADEUS
Nothing.... The words you speak cannot estrange me after all that I
have learned already. But there is a new ring in your voice that I have
never heard until to-day. Nor have I ever seen that light in your eyes
until to-day.
CECILIA
That's what you imagine, Amadeus. If that were really the case, then I
should feel the same in regard to you. But I can see no difference in
you at all. And I can't imagine how you possibly could come to seem
different. To other women you may appear a mischiefmaker--or a silly
youth--which has probably happened many times: but to me you will
always remain the same as ever. And I have a feeling that, in the last
instance, nothing can ever happen to the Amadeus I am thinking of.
AMADEUS
If I could only feel the same--in regard to you! But such assurance is
not mine. The recklessness and greed with which you make your way into
an unknown world are filling me with outright fear on your behalf. The
idea that there are people who know as little of you as you of them at
this moment, and to whom you are going to belong...
CECILIA
I shall belong to nobody ... now, that I am free ...
AMADEUS
... who are part of your destiny already, as you of theirs ... it seems
to me uncanny. And you are no more the Cecilia I used to love--no! You
resemble closely one who was very dear to me, and yet you are not at
all the same as she. No, you are not the woman that was my wife for
years. I could feel it the moment you entered the place.... The
connection between the young girl who sank into my arms one evening
seven years ago and the woman who has just returned from abroad to
dwell for a brief while in this house seems quite mysterious. For seven
years I have been living with another woman--with a quiet, kindly
woman--with a sort of angel perhaps, who has now disappeared. She who
came to-day has a voice that I have never heard, a look that I am
foreign to, a beauty that is strange to me--a beauty not surpassing
what the other had, except in being more cruel possibly--and yet a
beauty that should confer much greater happiness, I think.
CECILIA
Don't look at me like that!... Don't talk to me like that!... That's
not the way to talk to a friend! Don't forget I am no more the one I
used to be. When you talk to me like that, Amadeus, it is as if here,
too, I should be fanned by those cajoling breaths that nowadays so
often touch me like caresses--breaths that make life seem incredibly
light, and that make you feel ready for so much that formerly would
have appeared incomprehensible.
AMADEUS
If you could guess, Cecilia, how your words hurt me and excite me at
the same time!
CECILIA (_brusquely_)
You must not talk like that, Amadeus. I don't want it. Be sensible, for
my sake as well as your own. Good-night.
AMADEUS
Are you going, Cecilia?
CECILIA
Yes. And bear in mind that we are friends and want to remain such.
AMADEUS
Bear in mind that we have always wanted to be _honest_. And it is not
honest--either for you or me--to say that we stand face to face as
friends in this moment.... Cecilia--the _one_ thing I can feel at this
moment is that you are beautiful ... beautiful as you have never been
before!
CECILIA
Amadeus, Amadeus, are you forgetting all that has happened?
AMADEUS
I could forget it--and so could you.
CECILIA
Oh, I remember--I remember! (_She wants to leave_)
AMADEUS
Stay, Cecilia, stay! The day after to-morrow I shall be gone--stay!
CECILIA
Please don't speak to me like that! I am no longer what I used to
be--no longer proud, or calm, or good. Who knows how little might be
needed to make me the victim of a certain unscrupulous seducer!
AMADEUS
Cecilia!
CECILIA
Have you so many friends to lose? One is all I have.--Good-night.
(_She tries to get away_)
AMADEUS (_seizing her by the hand_)
Cecilia, we have long ago bidden each other good-by as man and
wife--but we have also made up our minds to take life lightly, to be
free, and to lay hold of every happiness that comes within our reach.
Should we be mad enough, or cowardly enough, to shrink from the highest
happiness ever offered us...?
CECILIA
And what would it lead to ... my friend?
AMADEUS
Don't call me that! I love you and I hate you, but in this moment I am
not your friend. What you have been to me--wife, comrade ... what do I
care! To-day I want to be--your lover!
CECILIA
You mustn't...! You can't ... no....
AMADEUS
Not your lover then ... but what is both worse and better ... the man
who takes you away from another one--the one with whom you are
betraying someone else--the one who means to you both bliss and sin at
once!
CECILIA
Let me loose, Amadeus.
AMADEUS
No more beautiful adventure will ever blossom by the wayside for either
one of us, Cecilia, as long as we may live!
CECILIA
And none more dangerous, Amadeus!
AMADEUS
Wasn't that what you were longing for...?
CECILIA
Good-night, Amadeus.
AMADEUS
Cecilia! (_He holds her fast and draws her closer to himself_)
CURTAIN
THE THIRD ACT
_The same room. It is the morning of the following day. The stage is
empty at first. Then Amadeus enters from his room at the left. He wears
a dressing-gown, but is otherwise fully dressed. He passes slowly and
pensively across the room to the writing desk, from which he picks up
the waiting pile of letters. Then he puts the letters down again. He
feels chilly, looks around, notices that a window is open, and goes to
close it. Then he stands listening for a while at the door to Cecilia's
room. Finally he returns to the writing desk and begins to pull out
manuscripts from its drawers._
AMADEUS
Let's get things in order.... I wonder how this is going to turn
out?--I'll write her from some place along my route. I shall never come
back here any more.... I couldn't stand it ... no, I couldn't!
(_Holding a manuscript in his hand_) The Solo--her Solo! Well, I shall
not be present to hear her sing it.
CHAMBERMAID (_entering_)
The men are here to take away the trunk. Here's the check from the
expressman.
AMADEUS
All right. Tell them to use the back stairs in taking out the things.
CHAMBERMAID (_goes out_)
AMADEUS
... When I say good-by to-morrow, she won't guess it is forever.... And
the boy ... the boy...? (_He walks back and forth_) ... But it has to
be. (_Abruptly_) I'll leave this very evening--not to-morrow. Yes, this
very evening. (_He begins to pile up sheet music_) I'll have a talk
with the Director. If he says no, I'll simply break away. I won't come
back here. (_He goes to Cecilia's door again_) I suppose she's still
asleep. (_He comes forward and sits down on the couch, leaning his head
in his hands_) We have to take lunch together, and she won't guess that
it is for the last time.... She won't guess.... And why not? Let her
find out ... right now ... I am going to have it out with her. Yes,
indeed. (_Rising_) One can't write a thing of that kind. I'll tell her
everything. I'll tell her that I can't bear it--that it drives me crazy
to think of the other fellow. And she'll understand. And even if she
should plead with me to forgive her ... even if she ... oh! (_He goes
to her door_) I must tell her at once.... Oh, I feel like choking
her!... Cecilia! (_He knocks at her door, but gets no answer_) What
does that mean? (_He goes into her room_) She's gone! (_He stays away
for about half a minute and comes back by way of the door leading to
the garden; then he rings_) Where can she....
CHAMBERMAID (_enters_)
AMADEUS (_with pretended unconcern_)
Has my wife gone out?
CHAMBERMAID
Yes, sir--quite a while ago.
AMADEUS
Oh...?
CHAMBERMAID
It must be nearly two hours now. She said she would be back about one
o'clock.
AMADEUS
All right. Thank you.
CHAMBERMAID
Can I bring in your breakfast now, sir?
AMADEUS
Oh, yes--I had almost forgotten. And a cup of tea, please.
CHAMBERMAID (_goes out_)
AMADEUS (_alone_)
Gone!... Well, there is nothing peculiar in that.... Probably to the
opera.... But why didn't she tell me...? (_He cowers suddenly_) To
him...? No, that couldn't be possible! Oh, no!... And why not?... A
woman like her.... There is nothing to keep her from going to him....
(_With a threatening gesture_) If I only had him here!... (_With sudden
inspiration_) But that's what I might ... that would be.... To confront
him--that's it! To stand face to face with him!... Thus more than one
thing might be straightened out.... No, she is not with him.... Where
did I get that idea?... That's all over!... But that's what I'll do!...
Either I or he!... Many things might then ... everything might then be
set right.... He or I!... But to live on like this, while he ... I'll
go to Albert. It must be done this very day! (_He disappears into his
own room_)
ALBERT (_enters_)
CHAMBERMAID (_follows him, carrying the breakfast tray_) I'll tell
the Master at once, sir. (_She puts the tray on a small table and
goes out to the left_)
ALBERT (_picks up a moon-shaped roll from the tray and begins to nibble
at one of its tips_)
AMADEUS (_enters, having changed his dressing-gown for a coat_)
CHAMBERMAID (_follows him, passes quickly across the room and goes
out_)
AMADEUS
Oh, there you are!
ALBERT
Yes. I'm not too early, I hope? Are you ready? I want to read you the
third act. (_He takes some papers from his overcoat pocket_) You know
the setting, of course--the park, the villa, the plane tree. But first
of all I must tell you something. Do you remember Mr. von Rabagas, with
whom my wife fell in love? I have retouched him slightly. He's going to
be cross-eyed. And now I am curious to see what Marie's attitude will
be toward him.
AMADEUS (_nervously_)
All right--later. For the moment there are more important things.
ALBERT
More important...?
AMADEUS
Yes, I want you to do me a great service ... a service that will brook
no delay. You have to act as my second.
ALBERT (_rising_)
Your...? Twaddle! You'll simply refuse the challenge! You're not going
to let yourself be killed for the sake of Madame Philine--oh, no!
AMADEUS
It is not a question of Philine. And I have not been challenged. I
shall issue the challenge. And for that reason I want you to look up
our friend Winter at once, and then I must trouble both of you to call
on Prince Sigismund, and tell him....
ALBERT (_interrupting him and breaking into laughter_)
Oh, Prince Sigismund!--Thank you ever so much!
AMADEUS (_surprised_)
What's the matter with you?
ALBERT
How obliging! You mean to present me with an ending for the play we
concocted yesterday. Thanks. But it's too banal for me--nobody would
take any stock in it. I have thought of something much better. You are
to be poisoned--yes, sir. And can you guess by whom?--By a brand-new
character--one of the secret lovers of your wife.
AMADEUS (_furiously_)
It doesn't interest me in the least. Stop it, please! I'm not making up
endings for your fool comedies! This is real life ... we are right in
the midst of it!
ALBERT
You don't mean...?! Well, if I have to stand this unseemly and
ridiculous interruption ... what do you want of me anyhow?
AMADEUS
Haven't you understood? The two of you are to challenge Prince
Sigismund on my behalf.
ALBERT
Prince Sigismund ... on your behalf.... (_He bursts into laughter_)
AMADEUS
You seem to think it very funny, but I assure you....
ALBERT
The point is not that you seem funny to _me_. It's probably balanced by
the fact that a lot of people who have thought you funny until now,
will all of a sudden think you very sensible ... though they ought to
ask themselves, if they had a little logic: why should Mr. Amadeus
Adams become jealous on this particular day?... Up to the twenty-third
of October he was not, and all at once, on the twenty-third, he is....
AMADEUS
A lot of things have changed since yesterday.
ALBERT
Have changed...? Since yesterday...? Well, I declare!
AMADEUS (_after a pause_)
So that you didn't believe it either?
ALBERT
To confess the truth--no.
AMADEUS
Which means that I am living among a lot of people who....
ALBERT
Will be in the right ultimately. Why should that arouse your
indignation? If we were to live long enough, every lie that's floating
about would probably become true. Listen to those who belie you, and
you will know the truth about yourself. Gossip knows very rarely what
we are doing, but almost always whither we are drifting.
AMADEUS
_We_ didn't know we were drifting this way--that much you will admit, I
hope.
ALBERT
And yet it had to come. Friendship between two people of different
sexes is always dangerous--even when they are married. If there is too
much mutual understanding between our souls, many things are swept
along that we would rather keep back; and when our senses are attracted
mutually, the suction affects much more of our souls than we would care
to have involved. That's a universal law, my dear chap, for which the
profound uncertainty of all earthly relations between man and woman
must be held responsible. And only he who doesn't know it, will trust
himself or anybody else.--If you don't mind? (_He begins to butter one
of the rolls_)
AMADEUS
So you think you understand...?
ALBERT
Of course! That's my specialty, don't you know?
AMADEUS
Well, if you understand what has happened, and understand it must have
happened--then you will also understand that I must face the logical
consequences.
ALBERT