Irene and Buckton were still at the hotel in Charleston. On the second
morning following the happenings of the foregoing chapter they were
having breakfast served in Irene's little sitting-room. In the light
from the window he was struck, as he had been struck before, by her
listless mien and the thickening shadows of disillusionment in her
eyes. He had to remind her that the coffee-urn was at her elbow, and
that he would not take his coffee from any hand but hers before she
filled his cup. Her eggs and bacon she had barely touched. He saw her
hands quiver as she passed his cup. He tried to enliven her by his
cheerful talk, telling her that she was getting weary of the town and
that they must move on to Savannah to take the steamer.
"New York is the place for us," he said. "There we will have so much to
do and see that you won't have time to get homesick. I really believe
you _are_ homesick, darling. You see, you are a belle at home, a
favorite with every one, and here you have to be satisfied with just
me. I know I am a poor substitute, but I adore you, while they--"
"Don't speak of home!" she suddenly burst out, almost at the point of
tears. "One never knows what home is till one leaves it forever. Just
think of it--why, it is forever--forever! When we left I did not
consider that at all. I want to tell you something very strange. I
almost feel--I hardly know how to put it--but I almost feel that a--a
new spiritual nature is hovering about me, trying to force itself into
my body. Why, I feel so tenderly about my father that it seems to me
that I'd rather see him at this moment and undo what I've done than to
possess the world. Whenever I start to--to speak affectionately to you
a cold hand seems to fall on my lips. That is why--why I locked the
door last night. It was not the headache, as I claimed. I had been
thinking of Dick--my husband. I believe he is trying to undo his past.
I don't believe a man could love a child as he loves ours and be very
bad at heart. Something tells me that I ought to have stayed by him at
all costs. We were wrong in marrying, no doubt; but once it was done,
once a helpless little child was in our care--"
"Ah, I see, Irene, it is the boy, after all. You don't mention him
often, but little things you drop now and then show which way the wind
blows. Your eyes are on every child we pass in the street. Without
knowing it you are a motherly woman."
"Ah, if you only knew--if only I could tell you _something_--" She
broke off, lowered her head to her hand, and he saw her breast rise on
a billow of emotion.
"Something about your child?" Buckton queried, jealously.
She nodded faintly. He heard her sigh. She remained mute and still for
a moment; then she said, falteringly:
"I have a strange conviction that there is truth in the belief of some
psychologists I've read about who claim that in sleep our souls leave
the body and see and experience things far away."
"I don't believe such rubbish," Buckton said, uneasily. "Do you know
that people who harbor such ideas generally go insane?"
"I had a strange experience night before last." Irene quite ignored his
protest. "It was something too vivid to be a mere dream. You know there
is a difference between a dream and a real experience. I mean that one
seems able to tell the two apart."
"Perhaps we had better say no more about it," Buckton suggested. "Don't
you think a drive in the open air would do you good?"
But Irene failed to hear what he was saying, or was treating it as of
little consequence.
"Listen," she persisted. "It was between midnight and dawn. I had been
brooding morbidly, and sank deep, deep into sleep, so deep that the
darkness seemed to close in and crush my spirit right out of my body.
Then I was floating about, free to go where I liked. I felt awfully
lonely and desolate. Presently I found myself on our lawn in front of
the house, but unable to get in. I heard some one crying inside; it
seemed to be Hilda. I couldn't tell what she was crying about, but I
had the feeling that it was because something was happening to the boy.
I went to the door and tried to ring, but had no hands--think of that,
I had no hands! Suddenly I found myself in the hall, but unable to go
up the stairs. Something seemed to clutch me and hold me back. I tried
to cry out, but had no voice. I thought I heard my husband talking to
the child, tenderly--oh, so tenderly! I was crying as I had never cried
before. I wanted to see the boy. It was as if a new heart had been born
in me or an old one resurrected. Then I heard the door of my husband's
room open, and I shrank back afraid to meet him, for I thought of--of
you and me being like this. Then I waked and found myself here in bed,
my pillow drenched with tears. Oh, I wanted to die--I wanted to die
then!"
"It was a nightmare," Buckton commented, uneasily. "It has all the
earmarks of one. We are always, in such dreams, trying to get somewhere
or away from something horrible."
"It haunted me all day yesterday," Irene sighed. "And last night I had
to take one of my morphine tablets to get to sleep."
"I wish you'd give that up, darling," Buckton said, reproachfully. "I
saw them on your bureau yesterday and started to throw them out of the
window. Doctors say it easily becomes a habit, and a bad one."
"I don't take it often, I really don't," Irene answered. "But I
sometimes wonder if it would make any difference. I can sympathize with
a hopeless drunkard, who, in a besotted condition, is able to forget
trouble and sorrow."
"Finish your breakfast," Buckton cried, forcing a laugh. "We are going
to take that drive. The fresh air will knock all those ideas out of
your pretty head."
They spent the day driving about the country. They had supped at a
quaint and picturesque cafe, and returned to the hotel. He was in her
bedroom at ten o'clock, still active in his efforts to set her mind at
ease, when a sharp rapping was heard on the door of his sitting-room
adjoining.
"It is something for me," Buckton said. "Wait, and I'll see what it is."
Before he had finished speaking there was another and a louder rapping.
Buckton hastened out, closing the connecting door cautiously. Irene
stood up. She had a premonition that something disagreeable was about
to happen. She heard Buckton unlock his door. Then she recognized the
voice of the proprietor of the hotel.
"I want to see you privately, Mr. Buckton," the voice said.
"All right; won't you come in?" Buckton replied; and immediately the
latch of the door clicked as it was closed.
There was a pause, during which Irene, holding her handkerchief to her
lips, crept to the connecting door and stood with her ear close to the
keyhole. She held her breath. The pounding of her heart seemed to fill
the still room with obtrusive sound.
"You must pardon me, but it is my duty"--the proprietor's voice rose
with sudden sharpness--"to speak of your relations with the woman you
brought here with you."
"My--my relations?" Buckton's voice had fallen low, and the tone was
cautious. "Please don't talk so loud. She is not well and might
overhear. What do you mean, sir--do you mean to insinuate--"
"You may call it anything you like," the proprietor retorted, in
evident anger. "I've been in the hotel business for twenty-five years,
and have never been charged with keeping an indecent house. When you
arrived here I thought your companion was all right, but I now know who
and what she is. I can rely on my information, so we won't argue about
that."
Irene heard a scuffing of feet which drew the two men closer to the
door at which she stood. The truth was that Buckton had drawn back to
strike the man, who caught his hand and held it.
"Don't try that on me!" the proprietor said, calmly. "Your bluff is
weak. Now, let me give you a piece of advice, young man. I've watched
this thing with my own eyes and ears, and I know exactly what is going
on. This is a strict, law-abiding, old-fashioned town. Decency has been
reigning here for over two hundred years. The average citizen of
Charleston has no sympathy for the sort of thing you are evidently
trying to foist on us. You've got sense enough to know that all I have
to do is to telephone the police to take charge of this matter and air
it in open court. You might get it whitewashed in _your_ town by some
pull or other, but not here. I think, since you want to be insulting,
that I'd better send for an officer."
Irene heard the proprietor moving to the outer door; his hand touched
the latch, and it rattled.
"Wait!" It was her lover's voice, and it was contrite and imploring.
"For God's Sake, don't give us trouble! We are leaving for Savannah in
the morning. Surely you will not put us out to-night?"
"No, the train leaves at ten. See that you take it. I am not any more
anxious to have this dirty thing get out than you are. Good night."
"Good night." The door closed. Receding steps sounded in the corridor
outside. Irene reeled back to her chair and sat down. A moment later
Buckton appeared. He was ghastly pale, trying to recover calmness and
invent a plausible explanation as to why he had been called to the
door. She gazed at him steadily.
"You needn't make up a story," she said. "I overheard."
He stood looking down on her helplessly. He swayed to and fro, resting
his hand on the back of her chair.
"You say--you--heard?"
She nodded. "He told the truth about me. That's actually what I am,"
she said, grimly. "That is exactly the way the world will look at me
when it knows all. It was lucky that I heard. As he was talking I kept
saying, 'That's so--that's so,' and I wasn't a bit angry--not a bit. A
bad woman--a bold, bad woman would have flared up, but I'm not
that--God knows I am not. I have been tricked, blinded, led along by my
imagination and ideals ever since I was a child. Now my head is on the
block, and the Puritan world is swinging the ax. Oh, how I cringed just
now! I, who have heard nothing but the compliments of men all my life,
heard the truth at last. I've been vain, silly, mad. I could crawl in
the dust and kiss the feet of an unsullied shop-girl. Well, well,
what's to be done?"
"We leave for Savannah in the morning, and from there sail for New
York," he answered. "I'm going to kill your despondency, dear. You must
sleep now. Don't pack to-night. I'll wake you early in the morning, and
will help you do it then."
"Well, well, leave me," she sighed. "I'll go to bed. I'll take a
tablet. I want to forget. That voice--oh, God! that man's voice! He was
a judge on the bench--all arguments in my defense had been set aside by
a jury of truthful men. He pronounced my sentence. I'm to be swept out
in the morning along with the dirt from men's boots. I--I--Irene
Mostyn--no, no, not _Mostyn_--Irene _Nobody_, will not dare to look
into the faces of black servants as I slink away in the morning with
you--you, my choice, a man whom--before God I swear it--I no more
actually love you than--"
"Don't--don't for God's sake; I can't bear it!" He was on the verge of
tears. "I've been afraid of that. I thought you'd be happy with me, but
so far you have been just the reverse. But I won't give up--I won't!
You are my very life."
"Well, go, go!" she cried. "I must sleep. I rolled and tossed all night
last night. I'll go mad if this keeps up. Get me a tablet from the
bottle, and a glass of water--no, I'll take it later. Oh, oh, oh! I am
sure now that my child is dead, and that his father is crazed with
grief. That was what my strange dream meant. People say such things are
prophetic, and I know it is so--I feel it through and through. The
child of my breast died while I was here like this with _you_--with
_you here in my bedroom_."
"You really must try to be calm," Buckton urged. "Those are only morbid
fancies. The world is before us, darling, just as it was when we left
home. There is really no change except in your imagination."
A shrewd look settled on her face. She waved her hand toward the door.
"Well, leave me alone then. Please do."
"All right, I'll go." He bent to kiss her, but with a sharp little
scream that was half hysterical she raised her hands and pushed him
back. "Don't do that!" she cried, almost in alarm. "Don't do it again!"
She glanced furtively about the room--at the closet door, under the
bed, and, leaning to one side, peered behind the bureau, as if her mind
was wandering. "Don't touch me. Little Dick will see you. He is here--I
know it--I feel it. I can almost see him, like a misty cloud. He seems
to come between you and me, as if wondering why you are here. He seems
to be trying to comfort me. Lord, have mercy on my soul! Go, go! For
God's sake, _go!_"
"All right, dear." Buckton moved away. His feet caught in a rug and he
stumbled awkwardly. Passing out at the door, he softly closed it.
Finding herself alone, Irene rose and began to walk the floor. Back and
forth she strode, wringing her hands, the flare of insanity in her
eyes. She unfastened her hair, shook it down her back. Suddenly she
fell on her knees by her bed, clasped her hands and tried to pray, but
words failed to come. Rising, she went to the table and filled a glass
with ice-water; then, going to the bureau, she took up the small bottle
half full of morphine tablets and held them between her and the light.
"Ah!" she cried. "I see the way--the only way, but I must be quick, or
I'll lose courage! Quick, quick, quick!"
She took a tablet into her mouth and drank some water. She took
another, and another, then two, then three, and so on, till the bottle
was empty. She walked to a window and threw the bottle away. She heard
it crash on the pavement. She went to her bed, lowered the light, and
lay down. Presently she felt drowsy; a delicious sense of restfulness
stole over her.
Shortly afterward Buckton, who was up packing his trunk, heard her
gleefully laughing. Wondering over the cause, and vaguely afraid, he
opened the door and went to her. She was lying with her eyes open,
smiling sweetly, and staring as if at some dream-object or person
across the room.
"What is it, dear?" he asked, touching her forehead gently. He fancied
that she was slightly delirious, and that it would soon pass away.
A sweet, girlish, rippling laugh escaped her lips. He had never seen
her look so beautiful. A spiritual radiance had transformed her face,
which was that of a young girl. Her eyes had lost their somber shadows.
Ineffable lights danced in their depths.
"Little Dick and I were having so much fun. We were playing hide and
seek in the clouds with thousands and thousands of angels like himself.
He said that he felt no pain when he died and came straight to me
because I needed him--think of that, I, a grown woman, needed a little
boy like him, but that is because he is wise now, wise and old in the
wisdom of Eternity."
She closed her eyes for a moment, only to open them again.
"Leave me quick! I want to sleep. Don't disturb me again to-night. Shut
the door and don't open it. He is coming back, and--and he must not see
you here. Oh, I love him--I love him! He is the only one I ever loved.
We understand each other perfectly. He is the sweetest, dearest thing
in the world. I had him in my arms just now, and he seemed to melt into
me and become myself and yet remain himself. He is coming to take me
away. Go, I am sleepy--so sleepy and--happy--oh, so happy! It is all
peace and bliss out there, and endless light and--Love. Go, hurry! He
is coming! I see my mother, too. She is holding him by the hand. They
are beckoning to me."
She closed her eyes. Tints of dawn were in her cheeks. He bent to kiss
her, but, fearing that he might wake her, he refrained, and softly
tiptoed from the room.