A PROPOSITION
I said, "Come on across the street and I'll consult with my official
staff."
"That man looks invincible," Pee-wee said.
Westy said, "He looks immovable, that's sure."
I said, "I'm sorry now my official staff didn't bring a couple of
British tanks with him."
That big, fat man just seemed to be saying, "They shall not pass."
Hunt Manners said, "Take a good look at him; does he look good-natured?"
We went across the street and stopped on the sidewalk of Grove Place
right plunk in front of the big house. Then we all gathered around close
to decide what we had better do next. There was quite a wide lawn in
front of the house.
I said to my official staff, "Turn the standard around so the man can
read it and notice if he smiles."
"He's too far away," Dorry said. "Why don't you send some one to
reconnoiter and see if he smiles?"
"Send a spy," the kid whispered.
I said, "Don't tell your general what to do. You're appointed an envoy
to go up to that porch and ask that man if it will be all right for
Leader Blakeley of the Silver Fox Patrol B. S. A. to come up there and
discuss whether we can cross his territory. Tell him if he wants to come
down here and discuss it on neutral territory, you'll give him safe
conduct. Do you know what that is? Take all your stuff with you and
notice if he smiles. Go ahead and do just what I told you."
Honest, you'd have laughed if you could have seen that kid hiking up the
walk across the lawn, rattling and jangling and hoisting his phonograph
horn up on his shoulder. He tramped right up onto the porch and pretty
soon I thought the man was kind of smiling.
Then, all of a sudden, _good night_, the kid raised his big megaphone up
to his mouth to call through it and out fell the coffee-pot and the
saucepan and his pair of sneakers and a lot of other stuff. I could see
the big fat man just shaking.
[Illustration: AS PEE-WEE RAISED HIS MEGAPHONE OUT FELL THE COFFEE POT
AND OTHER STUFF. (Page 32)]
"It's all right, come ahead!" the kid called through the megaphone.
When we came to the porch the man looked us over very funny, like. He
didn't laugh, but I think he was having a hard job not to. Then I knew
we'd win because I could see he was losing his morale.
He said, "Well, what's all this?"
I said, "This is the Silver Fox Patrol, First Bridgeboro Troop, Boy
Scouts of America, and I'm their leader and we're on a bee-line hike and
we can only go straight west."
He said, "And who are all those youngsters out on the sidewalk?"
I said, "They're just following us, they don't count."
He said, "Oh."
Then Pee-wee said, "I'll tell you about the scouts. When they start out
to do a thing, they do it. See? Nothing can stop them. Maybe you know
how a--a--cannon-ball goes----"
The man said, "I can imagine."
"You know what irresistible is?" the kid asked him. "Well, that's what
we are."
The man said, "Oh, I see."
"Sure," Pee-wee said; "things that are hard, that's what we like."
"We eat 'em alive," Westy said.
I said to Pee-wee, "Do you know what insubordinate is? Well, that's what
_you_ are. Keep still while I talk. You're only my official staff."
The man said, "Well, you'd better pick up your official coffee-pot and
saucepan, and state your terms. I'm not sure that I want an irresistible
army of invasion going through my house."
"Irresistible armies of invasion aren't so bad," the kid piped up. "I'll
tell you how it is----"
"Keep still," I said, "or I'll put you in the megaphone." Then I said to
the man, "We started from Blakeley's Hill and we pledged ourselves to go
straight west----"
"Without deviation," the kid shouted; "do you know what that means?"
I said, "We pledged ourselves to go straight west till we come to a
certain tree on west ridge, and not to turn to the right or the left. So
you see we'll have to go right through your house."
The man just sat there a little while, kind of thinking. I began to get
anxious.
The kid said, "You know scouts always wipe their feet when they go in a
house. Maybe they're kind of wild, but they always wipe their feet."
I could see the man was trying hard not to laugh, and he just sat there
thinking. Then he said, "Since you admit scouts are wild I think I won't
let them go through my house."
"Now, you see," I whispered to Pee-wee.
"Oh, they're not so _very_ wild," he said.
All the time the man seemed to be thinking and he said, "If you could
just climb over the house now; wouldn't that be better? Since you can do
anything? I think you said you are _irresistible_."
_Good night!_ I could have strangled that kid. I said, "We'd like to go
the easiest way."
The man said, "Ah, then you _don't_ really care for hard things? You are
what might be called parlor scouts. I see. How about your appetites?"
"I'll tell you about our appetites!" the kid shouted.
I said, "Believe me, we can give you the best recommendations."
Then the man said, "Well, I'm sorry I can't let you go through the
house."
I said, "You don't think we'd take any food, do you?"
He said, "Not that, but I'm afraid going through the house is out of the
question. If you would care to try climbing over it I'll supply you with
ladders. While my gardener is getting the ladders, cake and pie will be
served. That is my proposition. If you care to take me up, all right. If
not, we part friends. A man's house is his castle; I dare say you've
heard that. If you are so wild and adventurous, show your mettle."
I said, "Didn't you see metal enough when my official staff spilled the
saucepan and the coffee-pot and things?"
The man just said, "That is my offer. Cake, pie and the roof. Or
nothing. You are the leader. What do you say?"
"Say yes," Pee-wee whispered to me.
Jiminies, that kid would climb over the Woolworth Building for a piece
of pie.