number of muscles are brought into play. For instance, to play at ball,
or hoop, or football, to play at horses, to run to certain distances and
back; and, if a girl, to amuse herself with a skipping-rope, such being
excellent exercise—
“By sports like these are all their cares beguiled,—
The sports of children satisfy the child.”
Every child, where it be practicable, should have a small plot of ground
to cultivate, that he may dig and delve in, and make dirt-pies if he
choose. Children, nowadays, unfortunately, are not allowed to soil their
hands and their fine clothes. For my own part, I dislike such model
children; let a child be natural—let him, as far as is possible, choose
his own sports. Do not be always interfering with his pursuits, and be
finding fault with him. Remember, what may be amusing to you may be
distasteful to him. I do not, of course, mean but that you should
constantly have a watchful eye over him; yet do not let him see that he
is under restraint or surveillance; if you do, you will never discover
his true character and inclinations. Not only so, but do not dim the
bright sunshine of his early life by constantly checking and thwarting
him. Tupper beautifully says:
“And check not a child in his merriment,—
Should not his morning be sunny?”
When, therefore, he is either in the nursery or in the play-ground, let
him shout and riot and romp about as much as he pleases. His lungs and
his muscles want developing, and his nerves require strengthening; and
how can such be accomplished unless you allow them to be developed and
strengthened by natural means?
The nursery is a child’s own domain; it is his castle, and he should be
Lord Paramount therein. If he choose to blow a whistle, or to spring a
rattle, or to make any other hideous noise, which to him is sweet music,
he should be allowed, without let or hindrance, to do so. If any members
of the family have weak nerves, let them keep at a respectful distance.
A child who never gets into mischief must be either sly, or delicate, or
idiotic; indeed, the system of many persons in bringing up children is
likely to make them either the one or the other. The present plan of
training children is nearly all work (books), and very little play.
Play, and plenty of it, is necessary to the very existence of a child.
A boy not partial to mischief, innocent mischief, and play, is
unnatural; he is a man before his time, he is a nuisance, he is
disagreeable to himself and to every one around. “A boy not fond of fun
and frolic may possibly make a tolerable man, but he is an intolerable
boy.”
Girls, at the present time, are made clever simpletons; their brains are
worked with useless knowledge, which totally unfits them for everyday
duties. Their muscles are allowed to be idle, which makes them limp and
flabby. The want of proper exercise ruins the complexion, and their
faces become of the color of a tallow candle! And precious wives and
mothers they make when they do grow up! Grow up, did I say. They grow
all manner of ways, and are as crooked as crooked sticks!
What an unnatural thing it is to confine a child several hours a day to
his lessons; why, you might as well put a colt in harness, and make him
work for his living! A child is made for play; his roguish little eye,
his lithe figure, his antics, and his drollery, all point out that he is
cut out for play—that it is as necessary to his existence as the food he
eats, and as the air he breathes!
A child ought not to be allowed to have playthings with which he can
injure either himself or others, such as toy-swords, toy-cannons,
toy-paint-boxes, knives, bows and arrows, hammers, chisels, saws, etc.
He will not only be likely to injure himself and others, but will make
sad havoc on furniture, house, and other property. Fun, frolic, and play
ought, in all innocent ways, to be encouraged; but willful mischief and
dangerous games ought, by every means, to be discountenanced. This
advice is frequently much needed, as children prefer to have and delight
in dangerous toys, and often coax and persuade weak and indulgent
mothers to gratify their wishes.
_Painted_ toys are, many of them, highly dangerous, those painted
_green_ especially, as the color generally consists of Scheele’s
green—arsenite of copper.
Children’s paint-boxes are very dangerous toys for a child to play with:
many of the paints are poisonous, containing arsenic, lead, gamboge,
etc., and a child, when painting, is apt to put the brush into his
mouth, to absorb the superabundant fluid. Of all the colors, the _green_
paint is the most dangerous, as it is frequently composed of arsenite of
copper—arsenic and copper—two deadly poisons.
There are some paint-boxes warranted not to contain a particle of poison
of any kind: these ought, for a child, to be chosen by a mother.
But, remember, although he ought not to be allowed to have poison
paint-boxes and poison-painted toys, _he must have an abundance of
toys_, such as the white-wood toys—brewers’ drays, millers’ wagons,
boxes of wooden bricks, etc. The Noah’s Ark is one of the most amusing
and instructive toys for a child. “Those fashioned out of brown,
unpainted pine-wood by the clever carvers of Nuremberg or the Black
Forest are the best, I think, not only because they are the most
spirited, but because they will survive a good deal of knocking about,
and can be sucked with impunity. From the first dawn of recollection,
children are thus familiarized with the forms of natural objects, and
may be well up in natural history before they have mastered the A B C.”
Parents often make Sunday a day of gloom: to this I much object. Of all
the days in the week, Sunday should be the most cheerful and pleasant.
It is considered by our Church a festival; and a glorious festival it
ought to be made, and one on which our Heavenly Father wishes to see all
His children happy and full of innocent joy! Let Sunday, then, be made a
cheerful, joyous, innocently happy day, and not, as it frequently is,
the most miserable and dismal in the week. It is my firm conviction that
many men have been made irreligious by the ridiculously strict and
dismal way they were compelled, as children, to spend their Sundays. You
can no more make children religious by gloomy asceticism, than you can
make people good by Act of Parliament!
One of the great follies of the present age is, children’s parties,
where they are allowed to be dressed like grown-up women, stuck out in
crinoline, and encouraged to eat rich cake and pastry, and to drink
wine, and to sit up late at night! There is something disgusting and
demoralizing in all this. Their pure minds are blighted by it. Do not
let me be misunderstood: there is not the least objection, but, on the
contrary, great advantage, for friends’ children to meet friends’
children; but then let them be treated as children, and not as men and
women!
178. _Do you approve of public play-grounds for children?_
It would be well, in every village, and in the outskirts of every town,
if a large plot of ground were set apart for children to play in, and to
go through regular gymnastic exercises. Play is absolutely necessary to
a child’s very existence, as much as food and sleep; but in many parts
of England where is he to have it? Play-grounds and play are the best
schools we have; they teach a great deal not taught elsewhere; they give
lessons in health, which is the grandest wealth that can be
bestowed—“for health is wealth;” they prepare the soil for the future
school-master; they clear the brain, and thus the intellect; they
strengthen the muscles; they make the blood course merrily through the
arteries; they bestow healthy food for the lungs; they give an appetite;
they make a child, in due time, become every inch a man! Play-grounds
and play are one of the finest Institutions we possess. What would our
large public schools be without their play and cricket-grounds? The
would be shorn of half their splendor and usefulness.
There is so much talk nowadays about _useful_ knowledge, that the
importance of play and play-grounds is likely to be forgotten. I cannot
help thinking, however, that a better state of things is dawning. “It
seems to be found out that in our zeal for useful knowledge, that
knowledge is found to be not the least useful which treats boys as
active, stirring, aspiring, and ready.”
EDUCATION.
179. _Do you approve of infant schools?_
I do, if the arrangements be such that health is preferred before
learning. “According to Aristotle, more care should be taken of the body
than of the mind for the first seven years; strict attention to diet be
enforced, etc.... The eye and ear of the child be most watchfully and
severely guarded against contamination of every kind, and unrestrained
communication with servants be strictly prevented. Even his amusements
should be under due regulation, and rendered as interesting and
intellectual as possible.” Let children be only confined for three or
four hours a day, and let what little they learn be taught as an
amusement rather than as a labor. A play-ground ought to be attached to
an infants’ school: where in fine weather, for every half hour they
spend in-doors, they should spend one in the open air; and, in wet
weather, they ought to have, in lieu of the play-ground, a large room to
romp, and shout, and riot in. To develop the different organs, muscles,
and other parts of the body, children require fresh air, a free use of
their lungs, active exercise, and their bodies to be thrown into all
manner of attitudes. Let a child mope in a corner, and he will become
stupid and sickly. The march of intellect, as it is called, or rather
the double quick march of intellect, as it should be called, has stolen
a march upon health. Only allow the march of intellect and the march of
health to take equal strides, and then we shall have “_mens sana in
corpore sano_” (a sound mind in a sound body).
In the education of a young child, it is better to instruct him by
illustration and by encouraging observation on things around and about
him, than by books. It is surprising how much, without endangering the
health, may be taught in this way. In educating your child, be careful
to instill and to form good habits—they will then stick to him for life.
Children at the present day are too highly educated—their brains are
overtaxed, and thus weakened. The consequence is, that as they grow up
to manhood, if they grow up at all, they become fools! _Children_ are
now taught what formerly _youths_ were taught. The chord of a child’s
life is ofttimes snapped asunder in consequence of overeducation:
“Screw not the chord too sharply, lest it snap.”
You should treat a child as you would a young colt. Think only at first
of strengthening his body. Let him have a perfectly free, happy life,
plenty of food to eat, abundance of air to breathe, and no work to do;
there is plenty of time to think of his learning—of giving him brain
work. It will come sadly too soon; but do not make him old before his
time.
180. _At what age do you advise my child to begin his course of
education—to have his regular lessons?_
In the name of the prophet,—Figs! Fiddlesticks! about courses of
education and regular lessons for a child! You may as well ask me when
he, a child, is to begin Hebrew, the Sanscrit, and Mathematics! Let him
have a course of education in play; let him go through regular lessons
in football, bandy, playing at tic, hares and hounds, and such like
excellent and really useful and health-giving lessons. Begin his
lessons! Begin brain-work, and make an idiot of him! Oh! for shame, ye
mothers! You who pretend to love your children so much, and to tax,
otherwise to injure, irreparably to injure their brains, and thus their
intellects and their health, and to shorten their very days. And all for
what? To make prodigies of them! Forsooth! to make fools of them in the
end.
181. _Well, then, as you have such a great objection to a child
commencing his education early in life, at what age may he, with safety,
commence his lessons? and which do you prefer—home or school education?_
Home is far preferable to a school education for a child. If at home, he
is under your own _immediate_ observation, and is not liable to be
contaminated by naughty children; for, in every school, there is
necessarily a great mixture of the good and of the bad; and a child,
unfortunately, is more likely to be led by a bad than by a good child.
Moreover, if the child be educated at home, the mother can see that his
brain be not overworked. At school the brain is apt to be overworked,
and the stomach, and the muscles to be underworked.
Remember, as above stated, _the brain must have but very little work
until the child be seven years old_: impress this advice upon your
memory, and let no foolish ambition to make your child a clever child
allow you, for one moment, to swerve from this advice.
Build up a strong, healthy body, and in due time the brain will bear a
_moderate_ amount of intellectual labor.
As I have given _you_ so much advice, permit me, for one moment, to
address a word to the father of your child:
Let me advise _you_, then, Mr. _Paterfamilias_, to be careful how you
converse, what language you use, while in the company of your child.
Bear in mind, a child is very observant, and thinks much, weighs well,
and seldom forgets all you say and all you do! Let no hasty word, then,
and more especially no oath, or no impious language, ever pass your
lips, if your child is within hearing. It is, of course, at all times
wicked to swear; but it is heinously and unpardonably sinful to swear in
the presence of your child! “Childhood is like a mirror, catching and
reflecting images. One impious or profane thought, uttered by a parent’s
lip, may operate upon the young heart like a careless spray of water
thrown upon polished steel, staining it with rust, which no
after-scouring can efface.”
Never talk secrets before a child—“little pitchers have long ears;” if
you do, and he discloses your secrets,—as most likely he will,—and thus
make mischief, it will be cruel to scold him; you will, for your
imprudence, have yourself only to blame. Be most careful, then, in the
presence of your child, of what you say and of whom you speak. This
advice, if followed, might save a great deal of annoyance and vexation.
182. _Are you an advocate for a child being taught singing?_
I am; I consider singing a part of a child’s education. Singing expands
the walls of the chest, strengthens and invigorates the lungs, gives
sweetness to the voice, improves the pronunciation, and is a great
pleasure and amusement to a child.
SLEEP.
183. _Do you approve of a child sleeping on a_ FEATHER _bed_?
A _feather_ bed enervates his body, and, if he be so predisposed, causes
rickets, and makes him crooked. A horse-hair mattress is the best for a
child to lie on. The pillow, too, should be made of horse-hair. A
_feather_ pillow often causes the head to be bathed in perspiration,
thus enervating the child and making him liable to catch cold. If he be
at all rickety, if he be weak in the neck, if he be inclined to stoop,
or if he be at all crooked, let him, by all means, lie without a pillow.
184. _Do you recommend a child, in the middle of the day, to be put to
sleep?_
Let him be put on his mattress _awake_ at twelve o’clock, that he may
sleep for an hour or two before dinner, then he will rise both refreshed
and strengthened for the remainder of the day. I said, let him be put
down _awake_. He might, for the first few times, cry; but, by
perseverance, he will without any difficulty fall to sleep. The practice
of sleeping before dinner ought to be continued until he be two years
old, and if he can be prevailed upon, even longer. For if he do not have
sleep in the middle of the day, he will all the afternoon and the
evening be cross; and when he does go to bed, he will probably be too
tired to sleep, or his nerves, having been exhausted by the long
wakefulness, he will fall into a troubled, broken slumber, and not into
that sweet, soft, gentle repose, so characteristic of healthy, happy
childhood!
185. _At what hour ought a child to be put to bed in the evening?_
At six in the winter, and at seven o’clock in the summer. _Regularity_
ought to be observed, as _regularity is very conducive to health_. It is
a reprehensible practice to keep a child up until nine or ten o’clock at
night. If this be done, he will, before his time, become old, and the
seeds of disease will be sown.
As soon as he can run, let him be encouraged, for half an hour before he
goes to bed, to race either about the hall, or the landing, or a large
room, which will be the best means of warming his feet, of preventing
chilblains, and of making him sleep soundly.
186. _Have you any directions to give me as to the placing of my child
in his bed?_
If a child lie alone, place him fairly on his side in the middle of the
bed; if it be winter time, see that his arms and hands be covered with
the bedclothes; if it be summer, his hands might be allowed to be
outside the clothes.
In putting him down to sleep, you should ascertain that his face be not
covered with the bedclothes; if it be, he will be poisoned with his own
breath—the breath constantly giving off carbonic acid gas; which gas
must, if his face be smothered in the clothes, be breathed—carbonic acid
gas being highly poisonous.
You can readily prove the existence of carbonic acid gas in the
breathing, by simply breathing into a little lime-water; after breathing
for a few seconds into it, a white film will form on the top; the
carbonic acid gas from the breath unites with the lime of the
lime-water, and the product of the white film is carbonate of lime.
187. _Do you advise a bed-room to be darkened at night?_
Certainly. A child sleeps sounder and sweeter in a dark than in a light
room. There is nothing better, for the purpose of darkening a bed-room,
than Venetian blinds.
Remember, then, a well-ventilated, but a darkened chamber at night. The
cot or the crib ought _not_ to face the window, “as the light is best
behind.” [Sir Charles Locock in a _Letter_ to the Author.]
188. _Which is the best position for a child when sleeping—on his back,
or on his side?_
His side. He ought to be accustomed to change about—on the right side
one night, on the left another; and occasionally, for a change, he
should lie on his back. By adopting this plan you will not only improve
his figure, but likewise his health. Lying, night after night, in one
position, would be likely to make him crooked.
189. _Do you advise, in the winter time, that there should be a fire in
the night nursery?_
Certainly not, unless the weather be intensely cold. I dislike fires in
bed-rooms, especially for children; they are very enervating, and make a
child liable to catch cold. Cold weather is very bracing, particularly
at night. “Generally speaking,” says the _Siecle_, “during winter,
apartments are too much heated. The temperature in them ought not to
exceed 16° Centigrade (59° Fahrenheit); and even in periods of great
cold, scientific men declare that 12° or 14° had better not be exceeded.
In the wards of hospitals, and in the chambers of the sick, care is
taken not to have greater heat than 15°. Clerks in offices, and other
persons of sedentary occupations, when the rooms in which they sit are
too much heated, are liable to cerebral [brain] congestion and to
pulmonary [lung] complaints. In bed-rooms, and particularly those of
children, the temperature ought to be maintained rather low; it is even
prudent only rarely to make fires in them, especially during the night.”
“If a cold stable make a healthy horse,” I am quite sure that a
moderately cold and well-ventilated bed-room helps to make a healthy
child. But still, in the winter time, if the weather be biting cold, a
_little_ fire in the bed-room grate is desirable. In bringing up
children, we must never run into extremes—the coddling system and the
hardening system are both to be deprecated; the coddling system will
make a strong child weakly, while the hardening system will probably
kill a delicate one.
A child’s bed ought, of course, to be comfortably clothed with
blankets—I say blankets, as they are much superior to coverlids; the
perspiration will more readily pass through a blanket than a coverlid. A
_thick_ coverlid ought never to be used; there is nothing better for a
child’s bed than the old-fashioned patch-work coverlid, as the
perspiration will easily escape through it.
190. _Should a child be washed and dressed_ AS SOON AS HE AWAKES _in the
morning?_
He ought, if he awakes in anything like reasonable time; for if he doze
after he be once awake, such slumber does him more harm than good. He
should be up every morning as soon as it is light. If, as a child, he be
taught to rise early, it will make him an early riser for life, and will
tend greatly to prolong both his existence and his happiness.
_Never awake a child from his sleep_ to dress him, to give him medicine,
or for any other purpose; _let him always sleep as long as he can_; but
the moment he awakes let him be held out, and then let him be washed and
dressed, and do not wait, as many a silly nurse does, until he has wet
his bed, until his blood be chilled, and until he be cross, miserable,
and uncomfortable! How many babies are made ill by such foolish
practices!
The moment he leaves his bed, turn back to the fullest extent the
clothes, in order that they may be thoroughly ventilated and sweetened.
They ought to be exposed to the air for at least an hour before the bed
be made. As soon as he leaves his room, be it winter or summer, throw
open the windows.
191. _Ought a child to lie alone?_
He should after he is weaned. He will rest more comfortably, and his
sleep will be more refreshing.
192. _Supposing a child should not sleep well, what ought to be done?
Would you give him a dose of composing medicine?_
Certainly not. Try the effect of exercise. Exercise in the open air is
the best composing medicine in the world. Let the little fellow be well
tired out, and there will be little fear of his not sleeping.
193. _Have you any further observations to make on the subject of
sleep?_
Send a child joyful to bed. Do not, if you can possibly help it, let him
go to bed crying. Let the last impressions he has at night be of his
happy home, and of his loving father and mother, and let his last
thoughts be those of joy and gladness. He will sleep all the sounder if
he be sent to bed in such a frame of mind, and he will be more refreshed
and nourished in the morning by his sleep.
194. _What is the usual cause of a child walking in his sleep, and what
measures, during such times, ought to be adopted to prevent his injuring
himself?_
A disordered stomach in a child of nervous temperament is usually the
cause. The means to be adopted to prevent his throwing himself out of
the window are to have bars to his chamber casement, and if that be not
practicable, to have either nails or screws driven into the window-sash
to allow the window to open only for a sufficient space for ventilation,
and to have a screw window-fastening, in order that he cannot, without
difficulty, open the window; to have a trusty person to sleep in his
room, who should have directions given not to rouse him from his sleep,
but to gently lead him back to his bed, which may frequently be done
without awaking him; and to consult a medical man, who will adopt means
to put his stomach into order, to brace his nerves, and to strengthen
his general system. A trip to the coast and sea bathing, in such a case,
is often of great service.
SECOND DENTITION.
195. _When does a child begin to cut his_ SECOND _set of teeth_?