CHAPTER I.

Produced by Marc D'Hooghe at Free Literature

HOME LIFE IN RUSSIA.

BY

A RUSSIAN NOBLE.

(Nikolai Gogol)

REVISED

BY THE EDITOR OF

"REVELATIONS OF SIBERIA."

(Krystin Lach-Szyrma)

IN TWO VOLUMES.

VOL. I.

LONDON:

HURST AND BLACKETT, PUBLISHERS,

SUCCESSORS TO HENRY COLBURN,

13, GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET.

1854.

PREFACE.

In laying before English readers a Work, of which the scene is

exclusively laid in Russia, and which, it is confidently anticipated,

will be recognised as furnishing a most interesting and graphic account

of the manners and customs of a very extraordinary nation, the Editor

considers it his duty to devote a few words to an explanation of the

circumstances connected with the publication of these volumes.

The Work is written by a Russian nobleman, who offered the MS. in

English to the publishers, and the Editor's task has been confined to

altering such verbal errors as might be expected, when we bear in mind

that the Author has written in a language which is not his own.

The story may be said to be unique. It gives us an insight into the

internal circumstances and relations of Russian society, which only a

Russian could afford us. The Nosdrieffs are an exceptional class, whose

type is peculiar to a half-civilization where a blow is accounted as

no disgrace, and "giving the lie" imparts no stigma. And yet men who

quietly pocket such insults, we find are tolerated in good society,

and, strange to say, are not thought the worse of on that account. The

Napoleonic dictum, "_grattez le Russe, et vous trouverez Tartare_,"

is in this instance most fully verified. But we will not spoil the

reader's enjoyment by any further intimation of the persons, whose

acquaintance he will make while perusing the following pages. The

author affirms that the story is true, and that the main facts are well

known in Russia. There is hardly a class of Russian life and society

which is not introduced upon the scene, and the Author displays their

foibles with an unsparing hand. Still he must not be regarded as an

enemy to his Fatherland: he acts under a salutary impression that the

_exposé_ can do no harm, and may possibly effect some good: and if

he have such good fortune that his book obtains access into his own

country, we feel sure that its truth will be immediately recognized,

and its severity pardoned, at least by those not in authority, on

account of the Author's strenuous exertions to do his part manfully in

ameliorating the condition of his fellow sufferers in Russia.

In conclusion, we may regret that we are not at liberty to mention

the author's name--not that the work itself requires any further

verification, for its genuineness is avouched by almost every line--but

the truth is, that the writer is still anxious to return to his native

country, and is perfectly well aware that the avowal of his handiwork

and such a display of his satirical powers, will not serve as a special

recommendation, except, possibly, as a passport to the innermost

regions of the Siberian wilds.

With these preliminary remarks, the Editor begs to offer "Home Life

in Russia" to the English reader, as a worthy companion to the

"Revelations of Siberia," and as adding one more to our scanty list of

books which throw light upon the domestic life of our 'ancient allies'

and present foes.

LONDON, 1854.

HOME LIFE IN RUSSIA.

CHAPTER I.

One fine summer's afternoon a few years ago, a pretty, neat-looking,

but small spring-britchka, drove into the court-yard of an inn, in the

governmental town of Smolensk. The vehicle was one of that peculiar

description to which bachelors, retired colonels, staats-capitains, and

landowners, rejoicing in the possession of about a hundred-and-fifty

_souls_, give the preference for travelling purposes; in short, all

those who in Russia are called "gentlemen of the middle rank."

The traveller who occupied the high seat in this convenient conveyance,

was a man, who at first sight could not have been taken for handsome,

yet we should do him injustice were we to affirm the contrary of him,

for he was neither too stout nor too thin; it would also have been

impossible to add that he was too old, as little as it would have

been right to call him youthful. His arrival in the above-named town

created no particular sensation, and, indeed, it took place without

the occurrence of anything unusual or even extraordinary; two Russian

mouzhiks, however, who were standing before the door of a dram-shop on

the opposite side of the inn, were apparently making their strictures

and observations, but which, were confined to conjectures concerning

the britchka, not upon the gentleman occupying the carriage.

"Dost thou see it?" said the one to the other, "there is a wheel for

you! what do you think of it, would it break or not, supposing it had

to roll as far as Moscow?"

"It might stand the journey," replied the other, musingly, as he

scratched himself sedulously behind the ear.

"But supposing it was on its way to Kazan, I think it could not stand

the wear and tear of such a distance?" said the first speaker again.

"It will never roll into the ancient Tatar fastness," responded his

friend somewhat affirmatively.

Thus ended their learned conversation, the scientific depth of which

we will not venture to explore. But previous to the britchka being

stopped by its driver before the entrance door of the inn, a young

man had happened to pass; he was dressed in a pair of white, very

tightly-fitting, and extremely short, twill inexpressibles, buttoned up

under a dress-coat of the most fashionable cut, and from under which

a snow-white linen shirt-front visibly displayed an elegant bronze

pin of common Tula manufacture, representing a weapon in the shape of

a pistol. This young gentleman turned round, and also honoured the

travelling-carriage of our stranger with a hasty glance, at the same

time adjusting his hat upon his head, to guard it against the attack of

a sudden gust of wind, and then--turning upon his heel, he too went his

way.

When the carriage had entered the court-yard, and stopped before the

principal entrance of the inn, the traveller was welcomed by the

head-waiter, or saloon-walker, as this class are commonly called in

Russian hotels,--so lively, and spin-about a fellow, that it was

actually impossible to look him in the face, or, in consequence of his

mercurial evolutions, to recognise even the outlines of his features.

He now came running out breathlessly with a napkin over his arm. He

was all one length, without symmetry or the slightest appearance of

proportion, and wore a long demi-cotton jacket, which nearly fitted

his back instead of his waist; he shook his head, and made his long

hair, which was cut _à la mouzhik_, fly in all directions, and led the

stranger quickly up-stairs through the long range of wooden galleries

of the inn, and showed the fatigued traveller into the apartment,

which, by the decrees of the hotel authorities, he was to occupy.

The room was much the same as such rooms usually are, because the inn

was of a similar character, _i.e._, such an inn as is to be found in

all provincial towns of the vast Russian Empire; where, for the sum of

two or three roubles, during the course of twenty-four hours, the weary

traveller is accommodated with a comfortable room full of beetles,

which, like blackberries, peep out from every corner; another door led

into an adjoining bed-room, always barricaded with a chest of drawers,

or a washing-stand, and occupied by a peaceable and silent neighbour,

whose predominant propensity is a lively and irrepressible curiosity

to ascertain all he possibly can about the private and public affairs

of the new comer. The exterior of the building was in strict harmony

with its interior: it was extremely long, and two stories high; the

lower portion was not whitewashed, but was permitted to display its

brownish red bricks, that had grown dark with years, and looked gloomy

and dirty, not only from the sudden changes of wind and weather, but

because they had no doubt been originally of a peculiar dirty tint. The

upper story was painted all over with the eternal yellow, a colour so

fancied and admired in Russia; on the ground-floor there were several

small shops, in which harness, leather, cords, crockery, and cake of

all description were displayed to the best possible advantage.

In one of these above-named shops, in the corner one, or rather at the

window belonging to it, a dealer in heated mead-water, was standing

close to his samovar made of bright copper, and it so happened, that he

had a face as red as his samovar, so that at a distance, one might have

easily fancied there were two self-boilers standing at the window, had

it not been for the feet of one of the samovars being ornamented by a

jet-black, long, flowing beard.

Whilst our gentleman traveller was examining the room allotted to

him, his luggage and other effects were brought in. First of all, his

portmanteau, originally made of white leather, but now looking somewhat

old, and testifying to the fact that it had been more than once on the

road. This portmanteau was carried in by the coachman Selifan, a man of

middle stature, clad in a toulup, and the servant Petruschka, a brisk,

handy fellow of about thirty, dressed in an ample, shabby-genteel coat,

evidently cast off from the the shoulders of his master. He also was a

man of middle size, apparently of a sulky nature at first sight, with

very broad lips and a large nose.

After they had deposited the portmanteau, they brought in a small

mahogany travelling box, inlaid with ebony and other ornamental

woods, a pair of boot-legs, and a cold fowl, carefully wrapped in a

piece of brown paper. When all these effects were properly located in

their respective places, the coachman Selifan left the room with the

intention of looking after his horses, whilst the servant Petruschka

began to make his arrangements in a small adjoining antechamber, very

dark and much like a dog-kennel, into which he had already succeeded in

conveying with him his travelling cloak, together with a peculiar odour

of his own which was also common to a large bag of his, containing a

variety of articles, forming the indispensable toilet of a travelling

servant. In this same dark dog-kennel he fixed against the wall as well

as he possibly could, a shaky, three-legged bedstead, and stretched

upon it something not unlike a mattress, but as meagre and flat as a

pancake, and perhaps not less greasy. This mattress, however, he had

obtained not without some difficulty, from the landlord of the inn.

During the time that these servants were thus busily engaged in making

themselves and their master comfortable, the latter had himself

descended into the reception saloon.

What character these so called reception-rooms bear--many of my

readers, who have travelled in Russia, will know perfectly well

--everywhere the same walls, painted in oil-colours, darkened by the

smoke of stoves and tobacco in the upper parts, and greasy from the

backs of visitors and travellers in the more accessible regions below;

the walls are principally thus disfigured by the resident tradesmen of

the town, who, on a market-day will gather together in friendly groups,

to take their usual quantum of tea, and talk over business and things

in general. There are the same grimy ceiling and glass-lustres with

their numerous prismatic ornaments dangling around them, shaking and

ringing whenever the head waiter runs across the room over the worn-out

carpet, whilst swinging about his tray fearlessly and in the most

acrobatic manner imaginable, though it be covered with cups and saucers

like the ocean shore with sea-gulls--the same pictures all around the

wall, painted, of course, in oil; in a word all was here similar to

what it is elsewhere, the only striking difference worthy of notice was

perhaps a painting representing a nymph with such an enormous bosom as

undoubtedly my reader has never seen. Similar fancy portraitures of

nature's bestowings, however, make their appearance in many historical

pictures, which, heaven knows, at what period, from whence and by whom,

have been brought to us into Russia, and exposed to our view. Sometimes

indeed, we have to thank our aristocracy for them, who as admirers

and patrons of the fine arts, commission their travelling couriers to

purchase them in Italy and elsewhere, according to their taste and

judgment.

Our hero took off his travelling cap and liberated his neck from the

close embrace of a woollen rainbow-coloured neckcloth, resembling those

which a dutiful wife will knit with her own fair hands for her beloved

husband, and present it to him with the necessary instructions how

to tie it and untie it; as for bachelors, I really cannot say whose

kind hands knit such ties for them, but for my own part, I never had

the fortune to wear such neck-wrappers in my life. After having freed

himself of his woollen tie, the gentleman ordered his dinner to be

brought to him.

Whilst various dishes were being served up to him, such as are

customary in Russian hotels, as for example; stchee, or cabbage soup,

with small meat pies, especially prepared--and indeed always kept

ready for all travellers and for many weeks in advance--calf's head and

green peas, sausages and greens, roast fowl, salt cucumbers, and the

everlasting sweet flour tarts, continually ready and in store; whilst,

as we before said, all these good things were being displayed before

him, either cold or warmed up, he amused himself by addressing various

questions to the head-waiter, inquiring who the former hotel-keeper was

and who the present, what the expenses were, and how large the income

was, whether the landlord was a thorough rogue or only partially so, to

which the head-waiter would invariably reply: "Oh, yes, Sir, a great

scoundrel, Sir!"

Thus, then, as is the case in civilized Europe, there are also in

civilized Russia, a great many respectable people, who cannot eat their

dinner in an hotel, without speaking to the waiter, and who even cannot

forbear passing a joke or two upon him.

However, our traveller did not limit his inquiries to apparently

unimportant matters, but he also and with wonderful circumspection and

in due rotation inquired of the head-waiter who the Governor of the

town was, after the names of the Presiding Magistrate and the Imperial

Procurator--in a word, he did not omit any of the higher officers

of the crown, but even tried to ascertain with as much precision as

possible, if not with complete success all or any information he could

elicit as regarded the most important and richest landowners of the

vicinity, how many _souls_ or peasants each of them might possess, how

far out of town he lived and what his character and disposition were,

and how frequently he came from his country-seat to visit the town.

He also inquired very minutely about the condition and health of the

environs, whether that particular government had been visited by any

contagious diseases, such as epidemic and other fatal fevers, the ague,

cholera, and similar plagues; and all this was asked with such apparent

solicitude, and the replies were listened to with such marked interest

as to make it quite obvious that simple curiosity was not the only

motive that prompted him to put all these various questions.

In his manner there was something sedate and solid, and he had a habit

of blowing his nose very noisily indeed, and though it is impossible

to say how he contrived to do so, it must be admitted that the noise

was something similar to a blow through a hautbois. This, in itself

apparently, quite harmless habit had, nevertheless, the good effect of

attracting the more particular attention of the head-waiter, who, each

time he heard this singular noise, at once shook his head and made his

hair fly in all directions, whilst straightening his frame and bending

down his bust in a more respectful inclination, he asked the stranger

if he wished for anything else?

After dinner, the gentleman took a cup of coffee and seated himself

upon the sofa, and to increase his comfort he put a cushion behind

his back; and cushions in Russian hotels, instead of fine and elastic

wool are generally filled up with something not unlike bricks and

pebbles; upon this the stranger yawned once or twice, and then wished

to be shown into his apartment where he lay down and slept soundly for

about two hours. After this refreshing siesta he rose, and wrote upon

a slip of paper, accordingly to the regulations of the establishment,

and the request of the head-waiter: his rank, profession, Christian

and family name, for the due information of the police authorities.

Upon this paper, the head-waiter whilst hurrying down stairs, spelled

with as much agility as he was capable, the following: "Councillor of

State, Pavel Ivanovitch Tchichikoff, landowner, travelling for his own

amusement and affairs."

CHAPTER II.

Whilst the head-waiter was still engaged in decyphering the words

written on the slip of paper, Tchichikoff left his room and went into

the street, to examine the town, with which he evidently appeared to be

pleased; for he, no doubt, found that it in no way yielded precedence

to any other governmental or provincial town of the Empire: the yellow

colour was strikingly predominant upon all the stone edifices, whilst

a more modest dark grey hue was thickly diffused over all the wooden

buildings. The houses were of regular and irregular construction, of

one, two, and one a-half stories high, with everlasting balconies,

of course very pretty according to the good taste of provincial

architects. In some places, these houses appeared as if lost in midst

of the plain-like large streets and their interminable long wooden

garden-enclosures; in other places again, they were huddled together,

and here life and commerce were more perceptible.

Some of the sign boards, though many were washed clean by heavy rains

and snow-storms, displayed here and there a well painted cake, a pair

of Suwarrow boots, or a coat and pair of inexpressibles, with the

inscription "tailor, from Paris;" then again a hosier's shop, exhibited

hats and gloves, stockings and night-caps, with the superscription:

"Arsenieff Philipoff, foreign merchant;" on another house might be seen

a very large sign-board with a billiard-table painted upon it, and

two players in dress-coats, such as the dramatis personae wear in an

after-piece, when they enter as "guests," upon the stage. The players

on this sign-hoard were represented in the act of aiming at a ball with

their cues, their arms slightly bent backwards and rather ill-shaped

legs, as if they had been in the act of making an unsuccessful attempt

at an _entrechat._ Under this billiard-table was written in large

characters: "And here is the establishment."

Here and there a man or woman was hawking wares about the street, or

selling them at a stand, such as nuts, apples, soap, and cakes--which

bore a striking resemblance to soap; then again a coffee and tea-shop,

or eating-house, with a large sign board outside, with an enormous

fish on it, in the back of which a gigantic fork was stuck, like an

harpoon in a whale. Most frequent of all were the double-headed and

swarthy looking Imperial eagles spreading their protecting wings over

the entrance of the numerous taverns with the laconic inscription,

"dram-shop." The pavement was in a bad condition everywhere. The

curiosity of Pavel Ivanovitch Tchichikoff, the Councillor of State,

went even so far as to honour with a minute inspection the public

garden of the town; he found the trees very scrubby and scantily

planted, taking feeble root, leaning for support against three posts in

the shape of a triangle, and very neatly painted with green oil-colour.

Although these trees were not much higher than common reeds, yet

they were mentioned and described in the newspapers on the occasion

of the last illumination of the town in the following exceedingly

complimentary style: "Thanks to the munificence and protection of

our Governor-General, our town is being rapidly embellished, and has

again been endowed with an additional ornament--a public garden--full

of shady and broad-leaved trees, spreading their protecting branches

against the oppressive heat of the day, and it is very gratifying

indeed, to witness how loudly the hearts of the good citizens beat, and

their tears of gratitude flow in acknowledgment and gratitude towards

our Lord-Lieutenant and Governor."

After asking the policeman on duty the nearest way to the

parish-church, the town-hall, and the residence of the Lord-Lieutenant,

Tchichikoff went to take a walk near the river, which flowed through

the centre of the town; on his road thither he happened to pass a

lamp-post, from which he tore off a play-bill, which was flapping

loosely; no doubt with the intention of reading it with more leisure,

when at home; he looked attentively at a lady of rather elegant

appearance who was passing along the wood pavement the other side of

the street, and who was followed by a little page in a military livery,

carrying a large bundle in his hands; once again he cast a long and

general glance around him as if with the intention of familiarizing his

memory with the position of place and streets, and then went straight

home to his room, slightly assisted by the ever attentive head-waiter,

during the process of getting up-stairs.

Having had tea, he sat down before a table and ordered a wax candle,

produced the torn off play-bill from his pocket, and bringing it

closer to the light, he began to read it, slightly closing his right

eye. However, there was nothing remarkable in the play-bill: one of

Shakespeare's dramas was to be performed; the part of Hamlet was

allotted to a Mr. Matchaloff, and that of Ophelia, to Miss Assenkova,

the other dramatis personae were of indifferent reputation, and for

that reason less interesting; nevertheless, Tchichikoff read them all,

and got even as far down the list as the price of the pit and gallery,

and discovered that the bill had been printed in the governmental

printing-office of the town.

When he had perused the whole, he turned the bill and examined the

other side of it, to see if there was by chance something more to

read, but finding nothing, he wiped his eyes and folded the bill

carefully together, and then deposited it in his mahogany travelling

box, into which he was accustomed to put anything, and everything he

could lay hold of. The day, we imagine, was concluded with a plate

of cold veal and ham, a bottle of sour Crimea-wine, and in a sound

night's rest--all in one breath--as we express ourselves in some of the

extensive towns of the broad Russian Empire.

The whole of the following day was devoted to paying visits.

Tchichikoff went out to pay his _devoirs_ to all the important officers

and _employés_ of the town. With hat in hand, he waited upon the

Lord-Lieutenant, who, on closer inspection, proved to bear a great

resemblance to Tchichikoff himself, for he was neither too stout nor

too thin; but he wore the decoration for merit of St. Anne round his

neck, and it was whispered about that he might shortly be honoured

with a presidential star; however, he was a good-natured man, and even

sometimes found leisure and pleasure to assist his lady in embroidering

upon canvass.

Tchichikoff next went to present himself to the Vice-Governor, the

Procurator, the Presiding Magistrate, the Commissary of Police,

the Public Contractor-General, the Inspectors of the Imperial

manufactories--our memory fails us, and we regret it; but in excuse

we may state that it is rather difficult to remember the different

grades of the all-powerful of this wicked world; it will therefore

suffice to say, that our traveller displayed an unusual activity as

regarded the visits he paid on that particular day. We will conclude a

notice of them, by stating that he even went so far in the marks of his

civilities, as not to forget to pay his compliments to the Inspector

of the Surgical division and the Town-architect. When he had performed

all these obligations, he was still sitting and musing in his britchka,

and meditating whether he had not omitted any one; but really, there

were no more officers of the crown to whom he could have shown his

attentions.

In his conversation with these omnipotent personages, he contrived,

very cleverly, too, to say to each of them separately something either

laudatory or complimentary. To the Lord-Lieutenant he insinuated the

flattering observation, that the entrance into his Lord-Lieutenancy

was like that into Paradise, and that the roads were everywhere even

and smooth as velvet, and that those governments which appoint so

trustworthy managers merit the highest praise. To the Commissary of

Police he expressed his admiration of the watchfulness and the civility

of the policemen under his orders, and in his conversation with the

Vice-Governor and the Presiding Magistrate, who had no higher rank than

simply "councillors of state," he made an adroit mistake by addressing

them twice as "your excellency," which of course pleased and flattered

them amazingly.

The results of his praiseworthy attentions were, that the

Lord-Lieutenant immediately honoured him with an invitation for that

same day to an evening party _en famille_, whilst the other officers of

the crown invited him, the one to dinner, another to a game of whist,

a third asked him, as a favour, to come and take a cup of tea, and so

forth.

About himself, our friend Tchichikoff obviously avoided saying

much, and if he spoke of himself at all, it was but in very general

terms indeed, and with an undeniable modesty; his conversation, in

such instances, assumed rather more of a learned phraseology and

expression. Thus he would remark, for instance, that he was the

most insignificant worm that crept over the surface of this world of

trouble and deception, and therefore quite unworthy to be an object of

particular notice; that he had seen much, and acquired a great deal

of experience during his life; that he had struggled and suffered in

the service for the just cause; that he had many enemies, some of them

even capable of preying on his very vitals; and that now, exhausted by

fruitless contests, he was longing for tranquillity, and in search of a

modest corner, where he might pass the remainder of his career in quiet

and retirement; and, finally, that in passing through this beautiful

town, he considered it to be his bounden duty to testify his respect

and admiration to the magistrates of the place by waiting upon them.

This was about all that the _élite_ of Smolensk could learn touching

the strange face that had arrived within the walls of the town, and

which strange face did not fail to show itself that very same evening

at the _réunion_ of the Lord-Lieutenant.

The preparations for this evening party occupied our hero considerably

above two hours, for he devoted such unusual care and attention to his

toilette as, we venture to say, is perhaps seldom witnessed. Having

enjoyed a short but sound after-dinner nap, he ordered fresh water

to be brought in to him; he then began to wash very carefully both

his cheeks, using soap very freely, and putting his tongue against

each of them in turn--to tighten the skin, no doubt; then, taking the

towel from off the shoulder of the officious head-waiter, he commenced

rubbing and drying his full face, beginning from behind his ears, yet

he did not do so without sneezing twice, and directly into the face of

the clever head-waiter.

Having performed this operation, he took up his position before the

looking-glass to adjust his shirt-front, and to abbreviate two hairs

which protruded from his nostrils, and soon after he was shining in his

glory and a dress coat of light coffee-brown colour with bronze buttons.

Thus tastefully and elegantly attired, he seated himself in his own

carriage, and drove off through the interminable and dimly-lighted

streets. The house of the Lord-Lieutenant, however, was illuminated

as if for a regular ball; all the carriages that arrived had their

lights; two _gendarmes_ were maintaining order in the entrance-hall;

in the distance were heard the loud yells of coachmen and footmen--in

a word, all was as it ought to be. On entering the reception-room and

_salon_, Tchichikoff was obliged to close his eyes for a moment, for

the brilliancy of the lamps and lights, and the dresses and toilette

of the ladies, were literally bewildering. All was one blaze of light.

Black dress-coats were flying about in all directions, separately

and in heaps, as flies will do around a sugar-loaf in the middle of

a hot day in July, when the grumbling old housekeeper is cutting it

into square, sparkling pieces before an open window; little children,

if any, will gather around her, and watch with intense interest and

curiosity the movements of her bony hand, raising in measured time the

active hammer, whilst the airy brigade of flies, carried along by a

whispering zephyr, approach her fearlessly as conquerors, and, taking

advantage of the rays of the sun, which dazzle and dim her sight,

besiege the tempting bits in small and large divisions. As they have

been already abundantly nourished by the dainties of a fine summer, and

at each flight desert some rich meal for another, they do not descend

upon the sugar to feed, but come there with the intention of showing

themselves, of parading up and down upon the sweet heaps, of rubbing

their fore or hind legs against one another, or of performing the same

process with their airy wings, and again stretching them out, and

scratching their little heads, then turn round and fly away, only to

return again, after joining a new and perhaps more numerous detachment.

Tchichikoff had not yet recovered from similar effects and reflections,

when he found himself surrounded and soon after arm-in-arm with the

Lord-Lieutenant, who introduced him at once to his lady. But even

here our new guest did not lose his countenance; he said something

complimentary, suitable to the circumstance, and very _à propos_ for

a man of his--the middle age--of a rank neither too exalted nor too

insignificant. When the dancers took up their positions for a first set

of quadrilles, the non-dancers were obliged to fall back towards the

wall. Tchichikoff was among them, and did as they did by putting his

arms behind him _à la Napoléon_, and for about two minutes he appeared

to pay the greatest attention to what was passing before him.

Many of the ladies were dressed with good taste, and in the latest

fashion, while others again displayed robes and jewels, such as could

only be got in the shops of a provincial town. The gentlemen also,

here as elsewhere, could be divided into two distinct classes: to

the first belonged those who were tall, slender and thin, and who

are always found buzzing around the fair sex; some of them even were

of the same description as those we are wont to see in the _salons_

at St. Petersburg; they wore their whiskers in the same studied and

carefully-brushed manner, or had the oval of their faces carefully

and neatly shaved; they were familiar with the same easy manners in

presence of ladies, and they also spoke French fluently; they knew how

to amuse and make the ladies laugh whether they liked it or not, just

exactly as the fashionables do in the imperial capital.

The second class was composed of bulky and stout men, such as our

friend Tchichikoff, that is to say, of the middle size, who could

neither be called too stout or too slender. This latter description

of gentlemen was always anxiously engaged in avoiding too close a

proximity with the fair sex, and looking about right and left with the

intention of espying, if possible, whether the servants of their host

had not already prepared a green cloth table for a game of whist. Their

faces were round as a full moon; upon some of them pimples and warts

were visible; others again displayed the marks of small-pox; and as for

their hair, they did not wear it in curls, brushed _à la Titus_, or cut

_à la diable m'emporte_, as the French call it; their hair was neatly

arranged or smoothly brushed down; and as for their features, they were

rather round and strongly marked. Such men as we have described were

the right honourable dignitaries of the town of Smolensk.

It is a curious fact that men of such frame know better how to manage

their little affairs in this world of trouble and disappointment

than those who are tall, slender or thin. Slender men are appointed

in Russia--perhaps also elsewhere--as special commissioners, or are

generally selected for such an office; they are to be met with,

here, there and everywhere, somehow or another. Their existence is

rather too easy, airy, and not at all calculated to be depended

upon. Stout men, on the contrary, never accept doubtful or ambiguous

appointments. They all grasp at something more substantial; and if

they take up a position in life, it always proves to be a safe and a

profitable one, and though the foundation may sometimes shake under

their weight, they themselves are not to be unseated. They hate outward

display and refinements; their coats may perhaps not be of the best

fit or the latest fashion like those of the slender gentlemen, but

in compensation, their money bags are filled with the blessings of

providence.

The slender man may, after three or four years of extravagance, not

have a single serf to mortgage at the Imperial Bank, whilst the stout

man's glance is calm and satisfied, for somehow or another, he has

saved sufficient to buy a modest cottage in some snug corner of the

town, of course in the name of his wife--this attracts less attention,

and is done for greater safety; for, in another snug corner of the

same town we find another comfortable house belonging to the same

stout man; also, at a later date, he builds a villa in the environs,

and finally makes the acquisition of a whole estate with all its

appurtenances.

Thus then the stout man, having served God and the Emperor, and gained

universal esteem, retires from public service, leaves town for his

estate, and becomes a farmer, a landowner, a real Russian gentleman,

a regular, what we call in Russia, _bread and salt man_--he lives and

he lives well indeed. But when he has done living, then come again his

slender heirs; and in the Russian fashion, they spend in a race all the

wealth, goods and chattels of their stout parent.

CHAPTER III.

We will not attempt to conceal from our reader that reflections like

those which concluded the last chapter preoccupied the mind of our

friend Tchichikoff, at the time when he was casting his eyes around

the company before him; the consequence was, that after mature

consideration, he closed in with the ranks of the stout men, where he

met with faces he was already acquainted with--the Procurator with his

dark and heavy eyebrows, who was continually winking his left eye,

as if he meant to say, "Follow me into the other room, my friend,

and there will I tell you something." However, he was a serious and

sober-minded man; next was the Commissary of Police, a middle-sized

man, but sharp and acute, and with all that a philosopher; the

Presiding Magistrate, a very judicious and amiable man, who was met by

every one with much affability, and treated like an old acquaintance.

Tchichikoff bowed low to all of them in turn, though rather lower than

they had done, but not without something pleasing in his peculiar mode

of salutation.

In this group of men he also made the acquaintance of Mr. Maniloff, a

landowner of agreeable and polite manner, and of Mr. Sobakevitch, also

a landed proprietor, who at first sight appeared of rather stiff, if

not of clumsy carriage, and who, whilst replying to the civilities of

Tchichikoff, accidentally trod upon his toe, saying at the same time,

"I beg your pardon." After these introductions, he was presented with a

playing card, and invited to join a game of whist, which he accepted as

a matter of course, with his usual bow of politeness.

The players took their seats around the green table, which they did

not leave until suppertime. All conversation was strictly prohibited,

as usually happens when the mind is given up to serious occupations.

Although the Postmaster was generally a talkative person, yet, from the

instant he felt the cards in his hands, he ceased to be so, and his

face assumed the expression of a meditating philosopher. He compressed

his upper lip upon the lower one, and kept them in that position nearly

during the whole time the game lasted. If he played a court card, he

could not help knocking audibly with the knuckles of his hand upon

the table, and whispering at the same time, if it was a queen, "off

starts the pope's wife:" if it was a king, "here goes the mouzhik from

Tambov!" To this the Presiding Magistrate would coolly reply; "And I

will have her! And I shall pull his beard."

At the same time, and whilst playing a trump card, or knocking against

the table, various expressions were made use of, such as, "Ah! _bilá

ne bilá_! I don't know what to play, so I come out with a diamond;" or

simply exclamations of, "Hearts! heartlings! spades! spadelings! club!

clublings!" and a variety of other words, epithets and names, with

which they had christened in their own immediate circles the various

colours of the playing cards.

At the termination of their game, they had as usual in such cases, a

few disputes, which they settled in rather a loud voice. Our guest and

friend, Mr. Tchichikoff, of course took part in the dispute, but he did

so with considerable ability, and so well, that though every one heard

him protesting, yet all were obliged to agree that he did so with very

good taste indeed. He never said, "you played this or that card," but

"I believe you were pleased to play the ace," and "I had the honour of

covering your knave, Sir," or something equally civil. And in order to

convince his opponents still more upon the subject of their argument,

he invariably presented to them his silver snuff-box, on the bottom

of which they could perceive tonquin-beans which were placed there on

purpose to increase the flavour of his snuff.

The attention of our stranger was particularly attracted by the

two landed proprietors, Maniloff and Sobakevitch, of whom we have

already had occasion to make mention. He availed himself of the first

favourable opportunity to take the Presiding Magistrate and the

Postmaster aside, and tried to learn from them all the information they

could give him about these two gentlemen. A few questions and answers

which passed between them, showed that our hero not only possessed the

propensities of an inquisitive disposition, but also cherished a wish

for positive information; because he first of all inquired how many

serfs each of these landowners possessed, and in what suburbs their

estates were situated, and then only bethought himself of asking the

Christian names of those in whom he appeared to take such a lively

interest.

This mode of taking an interest in persons is rather unusual in Russia,

for we always begin our inquiries by asking for the Christian names

of father and son first, and then only let our real intentions peep

out. However, notwithstanding the omission of this general rule,

Tchichikoff succeeded in a very brief time indeed, in completely

captivating the good graces of the two gentlemen-farmers. Maniloff,

who was yet in the prime of life, with eyes as sweet as sugar, and

which he was continually winking when he laughed, was actually charmed

with our friend's person and manners. He pressed his hand warmly and

long, and begged of him most urgently to do him the honour of visiting

him on his estate, which according to him was not more than fifteen

wersts from the gates of the town. To this very polite invitation,

Tchichikoff replied by a very civil inclination of the head, and a

truly affectionate pressure of the hand, adding that he would not only

be happy to do so, but that he considered it even to be his sacred duty

to do himself that honour.

Sobakevitch also invited our guest, but he did so in a rather laconic

manner, simply saying: "And don't forget me;" whilst he attempted a

bow, accompanied by a scratch with his left foot; this manoeuvre drew

the attention of Tchichikoff to his feet, which were shod in such a

pair of gigantic boots, that we really believe it would be impossible

to meet with a couple of feet proportioned to their size, especially

now-a-days, when even Russians begin to look more at shape and fashion.

On the following day, Tchichikoff went to dine and spend the evening

with the Commissary of Police, where at three o'clock in the

afternoon they sat down to a game of whist, and never rose till two

hours after midnight. Here, however, he had the advantage of making

the acquaintance of Mr. Nosdrieff, also an owner of some estates, a

man of about thirty years of age, and of a very lively and volatile

disposition, who, after three or four words, treated our stranger _en

frère_. With the Commissary of Police, Nosdrieff appeared to be also

very familiar and on fraternal terms; when they took their seats for

the purpose of playing their long game, however, the Commissary of

Police and the Procurator had the habit of very carefully examining his

tricks, and followed very attentively every card he played.

Upon the following day, Tchichikoff went to pay a visit, and remained

to tea at the chief magistrate's, who received his guests in a dressing

gown, which looked somewhat greasy and worn out. Among the company

there were also two ladies, whose names our guest did not catch. He

also called in the evening upon the Vice-Governor; he dined at the

great dinner of the public contractor, and at the modest table of the

Procurator, whose dinner must have cost a great deal; and he supped

at the Mayor's, whose supper was worth the two dinners. In a word,

Tchichikoff had no two hours time to stay at home, so much was he

engaged in town, and if he returned to his hotel, it was only for the

purpose of taking necessary rest.

In all respects, our traveller appeared to be welcome everywhere, for

he knew how to make himself comfortable in all positions; in short, he

proved a man of considerable experience and tact, as well as a complete

man of the world. It did not matter to him what question or argument

was brought forward; he never seemed embarrassed or at a loss how

to sustain the subject; if horses and races were on the _tapis_, he

knew how to give his opinion on races in general, and horse-breeding

in particular; if dogs were praised, he was not at a loss to say

something about the perfections of the canine race; if the proceedings

of the Imperial Courts of Inquiry were discussed, he proved that these

cases, as well as the general conduct of the Imperial _employés_,

were familiar to him; if the game of billiards was brought forward,

even upon the billiard-table he did not give a miss; if benefactors

were praised, he also knew how to acknowledge their merits, even with

apparent tears in his eyes; if comments upon distilleries and spirits

were expressed, he also knew how to find fault with the spirits of

wine, &c.; if the indiscretions of custom-house officers and inspectors

were complained of, even them he knew how to judge and condemn, just as

if he had himself been a custom-house officer or inspector.

But it was remarkable that he knew how to express and clothe his

comments and opinions in such a pleasing and unpretending manner that

he never compromised his position. His voice was neither too loud, nor

did he whisper, he spoke exactly as a man ought to speak; in a word,

you might have turned him any way, and still you would have found him

a gentleman, and of course all the Imperial _employés_ of the higher

ranks in the town of Smolensk were pleased and satisfied with the

appearance and manners of the new and _distingué_ personage who had

arrived among them.

The Lord-Lieutenant's opinion of Tchichikoff was, that he believed him

a man of strictly honourable intentions; the Procurator pronounced him

a very practical man; the colonel of the garrison said that he was a

learned gentleman; the Presiding Magistrate was convinced that he was

a man of deep knowledge and great modesty; the Commissary of Police

affirmed that Tchichikoff was very civil and amiable; but his wife

proclaimed him to be the most amiable and well-bred man she had seen

for some time. And even Sobakevitch, who seldom had a good opinion of

any one, nevertheless, after his return home from town late at night,

and whilst undressing and preparing to retire, said to his wife, a

slender lady of not very prepossessing appearance: "My darling heart, I

have spent the evening at his Excellency's the Lord-Lieutenant, I have

dined with the Commissary of Police, and have made the acquaintance of

Pavel Ivanovitch Tchichikoff, a Councillor of State; an exceedingly

amiable gentleman!" whereupon the conjugal couple fell asleep.

Thus our hero had gained golden opinions from all manner of men in the

good town of Smolensk, without in any way making known anything which

might inform them as to the immediate object of his visit to that town.

He was equally reserved as to his antecedents, but we fortunately

are well acquainted with them, and for a better comprehension of the

following story, we think it will be advisable to let our readers into

the secret of Mr. Tchichikoff's birth, parentage, and education.

CHAPTER IV.

It is a very dubious circumstance whether the hero we have selected

for our story will meet with much favour at the hands of our readers.

Ladies he is sure not to please--and this assertion we advance

confidentially--because ladies expect a hero to be a perfect creation,

and if he present but the slightest mental or corporeal imperfection,

then, woe to the author! However carefully he may describe his

character, and were he even to draw his portrait brighter than a

crystal mirror, his exertions, his talents, will be valueless, his time

and labour thrown away.

The very corpulence and middle-age of Tchichikoff are calculated to

injure him from the very outset: corpulence is unpardonable in a hero,

and many fair ladies will turn away in disgust, and say, "Fie! how

ugly, how very uninteresting!" Alas! all this is but too well known

to the author, for the more he has looked about him, the more he has

found it the case that perfect heroes are the only ones that meet with

success in this world.

On glancing at all the productions of foreign genius, he has never met

with any but fair and perfect heroes and heroines, and even in "Uncle

Tom's Cabin" he was astonished at finding none but youthful, fair, and

virtuous sufferers.

These, then, are the characters that have met, and still seem to meet

with unbounded success in the reading world, though they have been, in

our humble opinion, hunted down as it were with a Russian knout, ever

since romance became fashionable. Our task, as a Russian author, is a

very difficult one indeed, and especially so at the present moment; and

unless we can lay before our reader something unmistakeably original,

we ought not to have ventured on it. However, trusting in indulgence,

and boldly asserting that the perfect and virtuous heroes are

completely used up, we beg to introduce an _imposing_ hero.

Dark and humble is the origin of our friend Tchichikoff. His parents he

knew belonged to a lower degree of nobility, but whether of hereditary

or acquired rank, he was profoundly ignorant; there was no family

resemblance between them; at least, such was the opinion of a near

relative of his mother's, a woman who was present at his birth. She

exclaimed, as she took the new born babe in her arms, "He has not at

all turned out what I expected he would be! He ought at least to have

resembled his mother," which would have been even better, but he was

born simply as the proverb says, "not like his father nor like his

mother, but like a passing stranger."

His early life presented but acid-tasteing incidents and recollections,

as if regarded through a pane of glass frozen over and covered with

snow; he had no friend, no play companion in his early youth. He

greeted the world in a country-house with low windows, which were never

opened either in winter or summer; his father was a sickly-looking

man, who wore a long kaftan or surtout, felt shoes on his bare feet,

kept continually heaving deep sighs, walked up and down his room with

evident preoccupation, and used to spit frequently into a spittoon

standing in a corner; he also sat often uninterruptedly upon a wooden

chair before a table with a pen in his hand and some ink on his

fingers, and even upon his lips, his eyes fatigued by eternal copyings.

"Never tell a falsehood, fear God and pray for the Emperor, respect

your superiors and cherish your benefactors," were the sentences and

exhortations to which our hero had to listen while still a child and

incapable of judging their importance; the continual and uniform noise

of his father's feet clad in their felt shoes, and dragging across the

floor, accompanied by the well-known but harsh voice of his parent,

saying, "You are noisy again, you little rogue!" This is the _triste_

picture of his early childhood, of which he had now scarcely preserved

a faint recollection.

But in life all changes unexpectedly; on a fine and sunshiny morning in

the spring, when snow had disappeared from the fields and the roads,

the father took his son and seated himself with him in a modest telega,

drawn by a small horse of the race called 'the hawk' by Russian

horse dealers; this open equipage was guided by a little hunchbacked

coachman, the only representative of his family and the only serf

Tchichikoff's father possessed, as he was also the only servant to do

all the work in his master's house. This hawk-race horse dragged them

along the high road for more than two days and a half; they slept on

the road, crossed the brooks and rivers, fed on cold fish pies and

roast mutton, and arrived only late on the third day in the small town

of Bobruisk, their destination.

Before the eyes of the little boy, glittered in unexpected magnificence

the houses, shops, and streets of the little town, and so much was he

at first bewildered by what he saw that he involuntarily opened his

mouth widely, and kept it so for some time. His ecstacy was, however,

interrupted by the quadruped hawk, falling with the telega into a deep

hole, which was the entrance into a narrow lane, which led, as they

advanced, down a steep declivity and was buried in mud on either side;

for a long time the poor hawk-horse kept exerting itself and kicking

about on all fours, assisted by both the hunchbacked coachman and

the master himself, until at last the strength of all three combined

brought the vehicle out of the hole, and before a small modest-looking

house, with two scrubby poplars before and a small insignificant garden

behind.

This house was inhabited by a relation of Tchichikoff's mother, an old

trembling woman much advanced in years, and who, notwithstanding her

age, went every morning to market, and on her return from there, used

to dry her wet stockings by holding them up and close to the samovar!

When she beheld the little boy, she took him on her knees, clapped his

rosy cheeks with both her hands, and seemed exceedingly pleased with

his childish corpulence. With this original and affectionate woman he

was to remain for the future, and go daily to the parish-school of the

town of Bobruisk.

After passing the night with them, his father left them the next

morning and started at once on his road home again. At their separation

no tears flowed from the parental eyes, but he presented his son with

half a rouble, a few caresses and what is more valuable still, with the

following exhortations:

"Now then my boy, Pavluschka, study and learn, do not be foolish nor

become a good-for-nothing boy, but try as much as possible to please

and always obey your masters. If you obey your superiors; then, whether

you have been successful or not in your studies, if Providence refuses

you natural talents, you will still be able to get on in the world and

go-ahead, even before all others. Have little or nothing to do with

gay companions, they will teach you nothing good; but if you cannot

avoid making acquaintances, then he upon friendly terms only with those

richer than yourself, for they might be later of use to you by their

influence. Do not drink or play foolish tricks by standing treat, but

conduct yourself in such a manner that others may treat and compliment

you. Above all, be careful and economic and spare and gather up all

your pence, for money is the most influential thing in this world. Your

friends and gay companions will be the first to betray and desert you

in case of need, but the money you have saved will never betray you in

whatever circumstances you may find yourself placed. You can do much

and succeed in everything in this world provided you have money."

After concluding his instructions and advice, the father parted with

his son, took his seat on his telega, and the quadruped-hawk trotted

along the high road towards home, and from that time the lowly little

boy never saw his fond parent again; but his parting words and advice

remained deeply impressed in his innocent soul.

Young Pavluschka went to school, immediately, on the following day.

Any particular talent, for any particular science, was not observable

in the boy; he distinguished himself more by assiduous application and

orderly behaviour: but his want of talent, was counterbalanced by a

mind full of practical wisdom. He at once understood and appreciated

his peculiar position, and behaved in regard to his companions in

such a manner, that they not only treated him always, but even gave

him an excellent opportunity to reserve the greatest portion of

the sweet-meats and knick-knacks, to sell at a later date, on very

advantageous terms, to the very donors. Whilst still a child, he

possessed sufficient strength of mind to refuse himself, and abstain

from everything. Of the half-rouble given to him on the departure of

his father, he had not spent a single copek, on the contrary, at the

end of the year the sum at his disposal had increased considerably,

showing nearly an incredible result of his carefulness and speculative

mind. He commenced his speculation by making an hussar on horseback,

out of wax, and sold him uncommonly advantageously. After this, his

first success, he ventured sometime later into a variety of other

speculations; such as buying honey-cakes in the marketplace, which

he took with him to school and seated himself near those of his

school-fellows, who were the richest, and as soon as he saw them moving

about on their forms, with evident uneasiness, he took it for granted

that his friend felt the pang of hunger, and immediately passed him

under the bench a honey-cake or a copek-loaf, for which the other was

but too glad to pay him at once, in order to satisfy the cravings of

his boyish appetite.

He passed nearly two months at home devoting all his time and attention

to the education of a mouse, for which he had made with his own little

hands a wooden cage, and at last he had succeeded so far as to make the

little animal sit up on its hind legs, lie down and get up again when

commanded, and ultimately sold it very advantageously indeed. When he

had economised about five roubles, he got himself a small bag, which he

had sown himself, put the round sum of five into it, tied the bag up,

and began to collect his rising capital in another.

As regards his conduct towards his teacher, he behaved himself, if

possible, with even more wisdom. It must be observed that the master of

that school was extraordinarily fond of quietude and good conduct, and

could not bear the sight of intelligent and lively boys; he imagined

that they would infallibly laugh at him. It was sufficient for any of

the more intelligent boys to show their talent or make the master guess

that they possessed some, even if it was betrayed by a slight movement

with the eye-brows, it would have been sufficient to attract upon them

his anger and resentment. He would persecute and punish the intelligent

boy with unrelenting severity.

"'Twill cure you of your pretentions and want of respect, you saucy

boy, and bring you back to your right senses; I'll make you kneel

down--you shall have a day's fasting!" And the poor boy, not able to

account for his punishment, had to kneel down and fast nearly every day.

"Disposition and talent! all that is stuff and nonsense!" he used to

say: "I only look at your conduct. I will give any boy good marks for

all sciences, no matter whether he know even the alpha of it, provided

his conduct is good and praiseworthy; but wherever I observe a spirit

of insubordination and inclination to ridicule, I'll give that boy a

nought, whether he be talented enough to put a Solomon in his pocket!"

Thus spoke the master in the public school of Bobruisk, to his pupils,

no doubt because he had himself been brought up in an establishment

where the silent system was carried to such a perfection that a fly

would have been heard flying across the school-room; where not one of

the scholars in the course of the whole year had had ever any occasion

to cough or blow his nose, and when not even the slightest noise ever

betrayed that there were any scholars assembled.

Tchichikoff was also successful herein, and at once understood the

animus of his school-master, and in what his general conduct towards

him ought to consist. He never winked once, nor did he raise his

eye-brows during the whole time the school hours lasted, however

mischievously his school-fellows pinched and annoyed him; scarcely had

he heard the bell ring as a sign for their dismissal, when he rushed

forward before anyone else could have a chance, to hand his master his

three-cornered headdress; when he had shown him this attention, he

generally hastened to leave the school immediately, and always managed

so well, as to meet his master at least three times on his road home,

in order to have an opportunity to salute him, and take his cap off in

the most respectful manner.

His manœuvres with his school-master were crowned with complete

success. During the whole time of his being at the school, he always

received the best marks, and on leaving it he was dismissed with the

most flattering testimonials, and presented with a book with gold

edges, and the following inscription in gold letters: "For praiseworthy

application, and meritorious conduct."

CHAPTER V.

When Tchichikoff left the school, he made his appearance in the world

as a young man of very prepossessing appearance, and with a chin

that already had begun to require the services of a razor. At the

very same period he lost in quick succession his fond parents. The

inheritance left to him consisted of four worn-out flannels, two old

and irretrievable coats lined with squirrel skins, and a trifling sum

of money. His father had been, as it seemed, an excellent adviser as

regarded economy, and the principles connected with it, but had done

little himself to cultivate that virtue, for the little he left his son

was very unimportant indeed. Tchichikoff sold at once the modest house

and the small stretch of land attached to it for a thousand roubles,

and took his hunchbacked servant and his then two little boy serfs

Selifan and Petruschka with him to the town of Pskov, where he intended

to establish himself, and enter the service.

During the time of his preparations for departure from Bobruisk, his

old school-master, who had been so very fond of silence and good

conduct, had been dismissed in his turn from the public school, either

for his stupidity or some similar reason. The poor master, overwhelmed

with grief at his disgrace, addicted himself to drinking, and at last

could not even satisfy that inclination from the want of the necessary

funds; ill in health, without a crust of bread or any assistance, he

hid himself and his sorrows in a miserable cold hovel.

Some of his former scholars, especially those who had displeased him

so particularly, on account of their malicious intelligence, when they

heard of his pitiable condition, immediately raised a subscription

in his favour among them, depriving themselves even of many little

necessaries to assist the poor ruined man. Pavel Ivanovitch

Tchichikoff was the only one who lacked generosity; he contributed

the smallest silver coin of the realm, adding that he could afford no

more; his colleagues refused to accept the donation, and called him a

miserable specimen of selfishness personified.

The poor school-master, when he heard of this trait of one whom he

considered his best scholar, covered his face with both hands, and

burst into a flood of tears, which trickled down his pale and meagre

cheeks like shot, until his eyes became dim like those of a crying

child. "On my death-bed Heaven has condemned me to shed tears over

a serpent," exclaimed he at last, in a feeble voice, and then added

again: "Oh, Pavel Pavluschka! it is thus, then, that men can change!

and when I think of it again, what an excellent boy he used to be,

always of an exemplary conduct, no vestige of malice in him! He has

deceived me, cruelly deceived me!" And hereupon the instructor of

Tchichikoff's early youth breathed his last.

Nevertheless, it cannot be said that the nature of our hero was of a

harsh and unfeeling description, or to such a degree insensible that

he did not feel pity and sympathy for the sufferings of others; he felt

the one as well as the other, he would have been even glad to alleviate

the wants of his friends, provided they would not prove expensive, nor

oblige him to break into that sum of money, which he had laid aside

with the intention of not touching it under any circumstances, for

he bore in mind his father's advice: "Take care and economise your

copeks, or you will come to a bad end." However, he had no particular

attachment to money, for the sake of money, he was not ruled by a

stingy feeling of saving, nor was he a niggard. No, he was not animated

with an insatiable desire for wealth, for the sake of keeping it

hidden; life opened itself before him with all its attractions for a

youthful mind; he wished to possess a beautifully furnished house,

carriages and horses, and numerous serfs and servants, such were the

thoughts that begun early to pre-occupy his mind.

And it was in order to obtain all these wishes and comforts in the

course of time and his life, that he economised every copek he possibly

could, and that he strictly refused himself in his earlier years all

pleasures, or to others any assistance. Whenever he happened to see

a wealthy parvenu drive along the streets, showing off a splendid

droschki, and richly caparisoned horses, he would stop short and admire

him with an air of envy, and forget himself in the sight before him,

then suddenly recovering as if from a dream, add: "Some years ago you

were perhaps a serf, you have purchased your freedom, and are rich; but

for all that I see your origin by the peculiar cut of your hair!"

And the sight of all those that appeared to him to enjoy fortune and

comforts, produced upon him a sorrowful impression to a certain degree

inexplicable to himself. When he had left his school, and disposed

of his trifling estate, he would not allow himself even the least

relaxation, but was full of anxiety to begin his task in life at once,

and enter the service in a civil capacity without delay. However,

notwithstanding his excellent testimonials, he obtained with great

difficulty a modest situation in a government office.

And heaven knows that in a country like Russia, the greatest talent

is worth little without influential protection to back it! The place

he held in the government office was an insignificant one which

brought him an annual revenue of no more than forty or fifty roubles.

But he was determined to work hard, to overcome all difficulties,

and to succeed. And, really, perseverance, patience, and self-denial

were qualities which he revealed in an incredible perfection. From

the early morning until late at night, never feeling the fatigues of

body and mind, he continued, to apply himself to his writings and

copies; he never went home, but slept upon the benches and tables of

the government office, he used to dine often even with the porter and

servants; but with all that he knew how to preserve cleanliness and a

respectable appearance in his dress, to give a pleasant expression to

his face, and even assume some semblance of nobility in his movements

and manners.

It must be observed that the official servants of the crown distinguish

themselves generally by neglected, and in every respect disadvantageous

appearance and manners. And this was especially the case with the

colleagues of Tchichikoff; the faces of some of them looked really like

badly-baked bread; the one had a cheek all on one side, another a chin

out of proportion, a third was gifted with an upper lip as large as a

bladder, which even used to burst now and then, in a word, they were

far from being handsome. They used to speak in a harsh and unpleasant

tone of voice, as if they had conspired to cut some ones' throat; they

were addicted to pay frequent tributes to Bacchus, proving by such an

inclination that the Sclavonic race was still addicted to the worship

of the heathen gods; they did not even mind making their appearance in

the office tolerably inebriated, which spread an unpleasant perfume all

around the place, and which was far from being aromatic.

In the midst of such an assembly of _employés_ of the Imperial

Government, it was impossible that such a man as Tchichikoff should

remain unnoticed and undistinguished; presenting, as he did, in

every respect such a striking contrast as regarded his personal

appearance, general bearing, and above all other good qualities, total

abstemiousness from any intoxicating drink, as if he had secretly

joined some teetotal brotherhood in England.

Notwithstanding all these advantages in his favour, his path to glory

was a very difficult one indeed: he happened to be the under-clerk of a

chancery-judge, an elderly man, who was the very image of insensibility

and sternness; always the same, unapproachable, whose face had never

been wrinkled by a smile, whose lips had never whispered even an

inquiry after another fellow-creature's health. Nobody could have said,

that he ever knew this man, or saw him different from what he appeared

daily, whether in the open street, or in his own lonely house; if he

had shown but once a slight interest in anything, if he could have but

once forgotten himself and his sternness by getting intoxicated, and

then have betrayed a smile; if he could but for once have given himself

up to a mad gaiety like the highwayman, who, after the capture of a

rich booty gives way to intemperance and debauchery--but no, there was

not a vestige of anything of this sort, in this granite man. There

seemed absolutely nothing in the man; he was not a villain, and yet he

possessed no virtues, and something awful seemed to replace the visible

absence of all else.

The hard, marble-like features of his face, without any striking

irregularities, presented no harmony; his harsh features were in an

unpleasant contradiction with themselves. The traces and little holes

left by small-pox which covered his whole face, were the only striking

peculiarities which classed it among the number of those faces, upon

which, according to a popular saying, the devil had been threshing

peas over-night. Now, although it appeared, at first sight, as if

human ingenuity would fail to ingratiate itself with such a being,

nevertheless Tchichikoff made the attempt.

In the commencement of this superhuman design, he began by trying to

anticipate his slightest wishes in the merest trifles; examined most

carefully every one of the quills, with which he was in the habit of

writing, and after having made them as it were to pattern, he took good

care to place them always ready to his hand; blew and swept from his

table the snuff as well as the dust; supplied him with a new rag for

the use of his inkstand; found out the place where he used to keep his

official cap, a most filthy affair, such as has, perhaps, been rarely

seen before, and took good care to place it constantly close to him at

the last moment of his sitting in the office; brushed his back, if the

old man had happened to rub off the whitewash from the wall; but all

the attentions remained without being in the slightest degree noticed,

just as if they had never happened to be shown to him.

At last, however, Tchichikoff succeeded in putting his nose as it

were into the household and domestic life of the old original, and

discovered that he had an adult daughter, with a face resembling that

of her father, that is to say, a face with traces upon it, as if the

devil had been threshing peas on it over-night. Upon this quarter he

now determined on directing his attacks. When he had ascertained to

which church she was in the habit of going on Sunday, he watched her

enter, and took up his position exactly opposite to her, carefully

dressed, and with a stiff collar, and neatly-plaited shirt-front.

By this stratagem he ultimately succeeded; the stem chancery-judge

began to waver, and gave him an invitation to tea; and, before the

other officials had yet found time to look around them, Tchichikoff

had brought matters to such a satisfactory conclusion for himself,

that he soon saw himself established in the house, and living with the

old chancery-judge. He had rendered himself a useful and indispensable

servant to the old man, and went to market for him to purchase meal

and sugar for him; towards his daughter he behaved as if she were his

bride; as for the old judge, he had accustomed himself to call him dear

papa, and ever kissed his hand.

All the officials of the judge now expected that at the end of the

month of February, before the long and general fast began, their friend

and colleague, Tchichikoff, would become the happy and chosen husband

of their superior's daughter. The stern and harsh old judge now begun

even to bestir himself in his favour and to push him forward, and

really, in a short time after, Tchichikoff was himself promoted to the

vacant seat of a chancery-judge. With this success also, seemed to

terminate the principal aim of his intimacy with the stem old judge;

because, scarcely had he been appointed to his new office, when he

secretly removed all his property from the house of his patron, and on

the following day he was already quite at home in his new apartments.

He ceased henceforth to call the old chancery-judge, papa, nor did he

ever after think of kissing his bony hand, and as for the anticipated

marriage with the judge's daughter, it was left to oblivion, and as

if such a subject had never been on the _tapis_. However, whenever he

happened to meet the old man in the street, he would always advance

civilly towards him, take him by the hand and invite him to a cup of

tea at his house, so that the old judge, notwithstanding his eternal

sternness and inexplicable indifference to anything generally, could

not help shaking his grey head thoughtfully, and murmuring in his

beard: "He has deceived me, awfully deceived me, this child of Satan!"

CHAPTER VI.

This was the most difficult passage during the whole course of

Tchichikoff's eventful career. Thenceforward his progress towards

position and fortune became easier, and in course of time he even

became a man of some importance and weight. He now began to display

all those qualities that ensure success in the world; agreeable in his

manners, delicate in his actions, and enterprising in business. Blessed

in the possession of such indispensable and valuable qualifications,

he succeeded in a very short time in securing himself a certain income

and independent position, from which he knew how to derive excellent

advantages.

It must be observed that at that particular time, and in consequence

of the bitter complaints that had reached the imperial ears about the

merciless exactions of the official _employés_ in the provinces of the

Empire, the Lord-Lieutenants of the various governments had received

strict injunctions to punish with the utmost severity the impudent

impositions of the imperial servants, and courts of inquiry were

everywhere held for the purpose of putting a stop to the sufferings of

the people from these imperial blood-suckers. These courts of inquiry

did not in anyway alarm Tchichikoff, on the contrary, he even knew how

to derive advantages from this imperial ordinance, and he furnished a

striking proof of the ingenuity of the Russian spirit, which is always

prepared to find ways and means when necessity demands them.

In order to avoid any unpleasant consequences, he had adopted the

following system: as soon as a petitioner presented himself before him

and proceeded to explain his case, and put his hand into his pocket

with the evident intention of producing from there the requisite

letter patent of recommendation, in order to obtain his Excellency's

the Prince Hovanskois' (as we call it familiarly) signature to his

document, "No, no," he used to say, with a smile on his countenance,

whilst stopping the egress of the generous hand, "you think, perhaps,

that I--oh no, by no means. It is our bounden duty, we are obliged to

attend to your interest without the slightest pretention to a private

remuneration for our trouble. As regards your application, you may rest

tranquil and assured it shall be attended to by to-morrow at latest.

Allow me to request the favour of your address; you need not even take

the least trouble further about the matter, all your documents shall be

forwarded to your house."

The enchanted petitioner returned home quite in ecstacy, thinking

to himself: "At last I have met an honest man among our imperial

_employés_, and I should be very glad to see more men of a similar

stamp among us. He is a real gem!" The delighted petitioner waits

patiently for a day, and then a second, and then a third day passes

without his business or application having been sent to his house as

promised. He returns again to the government office, and finds that

his business has not been even begun; he addresses himself to the

invaluable gem.

"Oh, I beg of you a thousand pardons, my dear Sir!" says Tchichikoff,

very politely, and affably laying hold of both the hands of the

disappointed petitioner, "but really, we had so very much business on

hand; however, by to-morrow you shall be attended to, absolutely, by

to-morrow, and most punctually, I can assure you, my dear Sir, I feel

quite ashamed at the delay!"

And all this was said in the most winning manner, and accompanied

by the most civil courtesies. If, on such an occasion, his morning

gown (imperial _employés_ generally transact public business at home,

and in a very _dégagé_ costume,) should accidentally unfold itself;

his hands were always prepared to cover up the folds and amend the

_négligé_? appearance. But, notwithstanding these civil assurances, the

petitioner's business was neither attended on the next day nor on the

day following, nor even on the next day following the day following.

The disappointed petitioner began to repent; can there be anything the

matter? He at last comes to the conclusion, that it has always been

the custom to give a gratuity to the copying-clerks.

"And why should I not give a trifle to these poor fellows?" says he to

a friend. "I know but too well how miserably the government pays their

services; I am ready and willing to give them a couple of roubles, to

be sure."

"A couple of roubles will never do; you will have to fork out a

bank-note."

"What! a bank-note to copying-clerks?" demands again the astonished

petitioner.

"Why do you seem surprised, or out of temper?" his friends ask him;

"what you anticipate will happen according to your intentions; the

copying-clerks will receive a couple of roubles, and the remainder of

your bank-note will find its way into the pocket of their superior."

The perplexed and slow-minded petitioner strikes his forehead with

his hand, and is surprised at the changes in this world, and the

new polite customs that had suddenly sprung up among the imperial

_employés_. Formerly, a petitioner knew exactly what to do, and how

to behave himself: he had simply to present a ten-rouble note to

the head employé, and his business was attended to; but now-a-day a

twenty-five-rouble note seems scarcely sufficient, and you have even to

wait for a week before you can guess it. The devil take the shameless

civilities and nobility of the imperial _employés_!

Some time after his instalment in his new dignity, an excellent

opportunity to advance his fortunes presented itself to Tchichikoff;

a committee was being formed for the construction of a very extensive

and capital government storehouse. Tchichikoff found ways and means to

be elected a member of it, and soon proved himself to be one of the

most active promoters. This committee began its operations immediately.

During six years, the committee busied itself about the building: but,

whether it was the harshness of the climate, or the fault of proper

material, the Crown building never rose above its foundations.

Meanwhile, and at the other end of the town, there sprung up, as

it were from the ground, houses built on the principles of modern

architecture, and the individual property of each member of the

building-committee. These members now began to enjoy the well-being

of home comforts, and got married in quick succession. It was then,

and then only, that Tchichikoff began by degrees to emancipate himself

from the harsh laws of abstinence and pitiless privations which he had

imposed upon himself. It was only now that he ventured to relax from

his long tasting, and it seemed that he had not always been a stranger

to the enjoyments of comfort and general well-being, from which he had

had sufficient strength of mind to abstain during the years of his

adolescence, when no man can pretend to have been complete master of

his passions.

He now even went as far as to display a few extravagant propensities,

such as keeping a cook of some reputation, and made the purchase of

very fine Irish linen shirts. As for the cloth which he wore, it was

no longer of such inferior quality as was worn by the other officials

of the province; he began to bring into fashion different shades of

coffee and snuff-colours, and similar brownish tints; he made the

acquisition of a fine pair of carriage-horses, and used to drive about

in a droschki and pair, holding the reins of one of the horses himself,

and making the horse bend his neck into the shape of a ring; he also

began to indulge in a fine Turkish sponge to wash his face with, mixing

his water profusely with Eau-de-Cologne; he even went so far as to buy

a peculiar kind of soap, which was very expensive, but possessed the

virtue to render the skin of his face smooth and velvety; he already--

But suddenly--in the place of the former sleepy president of the

building-committee, a new chairman was appointed by the imperial

ordinance: a military man, severe and strict in his principles--a man

who was an enemy to all impositions upon the public as well as upon

the Crown; in short, a detester of falsehood in any shape. Immediately

after the day of his arrival, he caused a general consternation among

the members of the building-committee by demanding a report and an

account of their proceedings, and found defalcations at every step

of his investigations; he also discovered and inspected the houses

of modern architecture. In consequence of all these discoveries,

he assembled a general meeting, and pushed his inquiries with the

utmost diligence and severity. All the _employés_ connected with the

building-committee were at once dismissed the service; their houses

of modern architecture were confiscated for the benefit of the Crown,

and changed into benevolent institutions and public schools; all was

blown down, as it were, like castles in the air, and among the severest

sufferers was our friend Tchichikoff.

His general countenance and his affable manners, strange to say,

displeased the new president at first sight; the exact reason, Heaven

only knew, sometimes such results will happen quite unaccountably,

but the fact remained the same--the new president could not endure

the sight of the old committee member. However, as he happened to

be a military man, it was not likely that he could know much, if

anything, of the ways and means of officers in the civil service; and

in a very short time indeed, and thanks to a respectable exterior,

and the knowledge of applying themselves to any and everything, other

_employés_ found an opportunity of ingratiating themselves in the good

graces of the new president, and the new honest and upright commander

found himself soon in the hands of another and, if possible, a more

dishonest set of officials than the former, and of which fact he had

no opportunity of convincing himself; he was even much satisfied at

having at last met with honest men, such as the Crown ought always to

employ, and boasted of his own judgment in the choice he had made.

His new _employés_ guessed and understood their chiefs character at

once. Every one of the men who were under his command, became desperate

hunters after anything that bore the slightest semblance to falsehood;

everywhere, and under all circumstances, they prosecuted untruth like

a fisherman of the Volga would hunt after a fine sturgeon; and they

hunted after it with so much perseverance and success, that in a very

short time indeed every one found himself at the head of a capital of a

few thousand roubles.

At that very same period, a number of the former _employés_ of this

same committee turned again upon the way of truth, and were graciously

received again in the service with their colleagues. But Tchichikoff,

notwithstanding his strenuous exertions to ingratiate himself again,

and in spite of the protection of his intimate friend, the private

secretary of Prince Hovanskoi, who had become the right-hand man of

the new president of the building-committee, he could not succeed in

obtaining for him the most insignificant appointment under the new

manager of the imperial interest. The president was a man of a peculiar

character, though he was led by the nose (of this fact he was of course

unaware); he would persevere in his once fixed opinion, provided it had

presented itself to his mind and attention, and whenever it had taken

root in his head, it would remain fixed there like a nail; nothing

would ever be strong enough to extricate it from there, for he was

frill of tenacity.

All that his friend, the private secretary of the Prince, could

possibly obtain for Tchichikoff, was the destruction of the sullied

certificate of his services as an _employé_ in the building-committee;

and even this favour he could only extract from his superior by a

representation in the most touching terms of the pitiable position of

Tchichikoff's family, which, by the bye, he had the good fortune of

counting among the things that were not in existence.

CHAPTER VII.

"Well!" said Tchichikoff to himself, "it seems the bow could not stand

the stretching. Tears will not amend the fault; I must betake myself to

another task." And determined on beginning his career anew, he put on

once more the armour of patience, and again subjected himself to every

species of privations, however unpleasant they seemed now, after having

accustomed himself to enjoy even luxuries. He was obliged to remove to

another town, and make himself again notable, if not notorious.

Somehow or another, matters did not go on satisfactorily at all. He

was obliged to resign two or three appointments in a very short space

of time: the duties were in his opinion rather onerous and mean. It

must be observed that Tchichikoff was a man of such unexceptionable

propriety, it would have been difficult to meet with another like him

anywhere in the broad Russian Empire. Although he had been obliged

to wind his way through the midst of a sullied society, yet he had

always succeeded in keeping his heart and his person clean; he was fond

of holding an appointment in an office where the tables were well

polished, and where gentlemanly habits were strictly regarded. He was

never guilty of coarse expressions in his conversation, but was always

offended when others omitted to show due respect to rank and position.

It will perhaps be interesting to our reader to know, that he had the

habit of changing his linen every other day, and in summer, during

the excessive heat, even every day; the least odour gave offence to

his olfactory nerves. For this very reason, whenever his servant

Petruschka came to undress him and take off his boots, he used to hold

a smelling-bottle to his nose, whilst in many other instances his

nerves were as sensitive as those of a young girl; and for this reason

it was all the more difficult to him to accustom himself again to the

habits of those who were addicted to the use of strong spirits, and

generally displayed unbecoming manners. However much he tried to exert

himself to keep up a good spirit within him, he nevertheless could not

help pining away, and becoming even of a lemon-coloured complexion from

the reverses of fortune.

He had already begun to grow corpulent and assume those pleasant and

round forms, in which the reader found our hero at the commencement of

the acquaintance with him, and more than once he had smiled at himself

whilst looking at his face in the mirror and whilst whispering many a

pleasant and insinuating smile; but now when he happened to look at

himself furtively into the looking glass, he could not help exclaiming:

"Holiest mother! how ugly I look to be sure!" And after this he would

not venture to examine himself for a long while. However he endured

and conquered the vicissitudes man-folly and patiently, and--at last

entered the government service again, as a custom-house officer, in

the frontier town of Bialystock.

We must here observe, that the custom-house service had been

already for a considerable time the secret object of his wishes

and speculation, because that particular branch of administration

constitutes the chief revenue of the Empire, and consequently allowed

the best pay to the officers employed in the service. But this was

not the only reason for his giving the preference to a custom-house

appointment. He saw with what exquisite articles of refinement all

the custom-house officers used to parade in town, what fine china and

linens they all sent to their sweethearts, sisters and cousins. And

many a time he had already exclaimed, whilst heaving a deep sigh:

"Oh, how I should like to get an appointment in the custom-house! the

frontier is not far off, the people seem all more enlightened, and

especially, what an excellent chance to provide one-self with fine

linen!"

We must add, that at the same time, he also thought of the expensive

French soaps, which had the virtue to increase and preserve the

complexion! what its particular denominations was, heavens only knew,

but accordingly to his suppositions, it would certainly absolutely

be found at the frontier. And he therefore had long felt a desire to

get himself an appointment in the custom-house; but he was prevented

from sending in an application, on account of the advantageous profits

which he derived from the building-committee, and in this his judgment

was correct. Whatever the advantages of a custom-house appointment

might offer _in spe,_ they were nevertheless like a lark in the skies,

whilst the building-committee was like an owl in his hands. Now was his

time to exert himself to the utmost, and obtain the long wished for

appointment in the custom-house, and really he at last obtained his

wish.

He started upon his new duties with an unusual eagerness. Such

abilities, penetration and application as he displayed in his new

functions had not only never been witnessed before, but even never

heard of. In less then three or four weeks after his appointment to

office, he had so perfectly rendered himself master of everything,

that his equal could not be found; he knew and understood all--he had

no necessity either to weigh or measure anything, but knew from the

invoices how many arschines a piece of cloth or silk contained; or on

taking a piece of goods in his hands, he could say exactly how many

pounds it weighed.

As regarded the regular business of an excise-man, namely, "searching,"

he displayed as his colleagues used to express themselves, the scent of

a pointer; it was perfectly impossible not to be surprised, on seeing

how he could display so much patience and trouble to touch and examine

even every button, but all this was done with a killing coolness and an

incredible politeness. And at the time, when the persons thus exposed

to his "researches," were annoyed to madness, and lost their temper,

and felt a wicked inclination to smash his pleasant countenance, he

would, without changing either the expression of his face, or his

polite manners, only add: "Would you, perhaps, have any objection to

incommode yourself a little by rising from your seat?" or, "Would

your ladyship have the kindness to step into the other room?" (even

the ladies are not spared the annoyances of custom-house officers

in Russia.) "There your ladyship will find the wife of one of our

officials, who will have the honour to explain to you the regulations

of the custom-house," or, "Will you allow me to rip up with this small

pen-knife a little of the wadding of your cloak?" and saying this, and

suiting the action to the word, he would produce from there, shawls and

dresses as coolly as if he was taking them out of his own portmanteau.

His superiors even pronounced their opinion about him in the following

terms, "that he was the devil himself and not a man:" he made his

"researches" in carriage wheels, harness, and even in the ears of the

horses, and heaven knows where he did not search for contraband goods;

at any rate, an author would never hit upon the idea of searching in

those places, where a custom-house officer has the right to pry.

The poor traveller who happened to leave or enter the Empire on that

particular frontier, was sure to feel for some minutes at least, after

the custom-house officer had performed his duty, the cold perspiration

run down all over his body, and exclaim perhaps whilst crossing

himself; "This is rather carrying custom-house regulations too far!"

The position of a traveller who had the misfortune to fall in the hands

of Tchichikoff, must have been similar to that of a schoolboy rushing

out of the master's room, where he had entered under the impression

that he would receive a simple reprimand, and where he had unexpectedly

met with a sound thrashing.

In the course of a very short season indeed, those persons, who were

in the habit of carrying on a regular system of contraband trade

were completely ruined by his watchfullness. He was the terror and

ruin of the whole of the Polish Jew race. His faith and honesty were

unimpeachable--almost unnatural. He even declined to accept a portion

of such monies as were the result of sales of the various confiscated

goods or trifling sundry articles, which were not accounted for to the

Crown, in order to avoid loss of time and expense.

Such zealous and disinterested service could not fail to become the

subject of general admiration and surprise, and found at last its

recompense with the higher authorities. He was knighted and elevated

to the rank of Councillor of State, and soon after be submitted a

project for capturing all contrabandists, asking only the favour to

be appointed the executor of his scheme and for the necessary means.

He was immediately invested with unlimited power, and the privilege

of search wherever he thought proper. This was all he could wish for.

At that time a large and powerful contraband society had been formed,

based upon a regular system of fraud upon the Crown; more than a

million worth of goods secretly imported into the Empire, yielded

double the amount to this bold enterprize.

Tchichikoff had had long since an idea of this organization, and had

even twice already repelled the envoys who had been sent to bribe him;

but he refused to listen to any of their proposals, adding dryly, "It

is not yet time." But scarcely had he obtained uncontrolled authority

in everything, when he in the next moment after his confirmation, sent

word to the secret associations, saying: "Now is the time."

His calculations were but too just. Now he stood a chance of gaining in

one year, that which he could perhaps have never acquired otherwise in

twenty. At the beginning of the foundation of this society, he would

not have anything to do with them; because he was nothing else but a

simple custom-house officer, consequently, besides perhaps compromising

himself, his share in the transactions would have been insignificant;

but now, now it was quite a different affair altogether; he was a

Councillor of State, and could therefore fix his own terms.

In order to ensure speed and complete success, he even gained over

another colleague of his, who could not resist the luring temptation,

although he was already a greyhaired man. The conditions between

the two contracting parties, namely the imperial _employés_ and the

contrabandists, were securely fixed, and the smuggling association

began its operations.

The beginning of their operations was brilliant; some of our readers

might perhaps have heard some time ago of the long-forgotten history

of the wise Spanish sheep, who went out travelling in double coats;

well, these very same Spanish sheep with a double fleece, imported

on this occasion, Brussels lace of nearly one million roubles value.

This was the first operation upon the interests of the Crown in

which Tchichikoff played a prominent part. Had he presided over and

led this undertaking himself, not even the cleverest and acutest Jew

in the world would have ever succeeded in carrying out such a daring

enterprize. After three or four journeys of the Spanish sheep across

the frontier line, both chief custom-house officers had realized a

capital of about four hundred thousand roubles each. It was even said,

that Tchichikoff's share in the enterprize exceeded half a million

roubles, because he was so much more daring.

Heaven knows to what incalculable amount these already very round and

handsome sums of money would have increased in the course of time, if

some evil spirit had not crossed in a fatal moment their path. The

devil set the two chief officers by the ears; to speak intelligibly

and simply, the two _employés_ picked a quarrel about a mere nothing.

Somehow or another, perhaps in a moment of excitement, and perhaps even

while under the influence of a glass or two of good wine, Tchichikoff

happened to call his worthy colleague a staròver (dissenter), and the

other, though he really was a staròver, it is impossible to say why,

felt horribly insulted, and answered him there and then, immediately,

loudly, and in an unusually cutting tone of voice, as follows: "You

lie! I am a Privy Councillor of State, and not a staròver; but as for

you, you are a staròver!" And then he also added, a few minutes later,

and as if to spite his friend: "Yes, take that and all!"

Though he had in this manner shaved the other, as it were, by retorting

on him the appellation applied to himself, and though the expression

of "Yes, take that and all!" might have had a powerful meaning; not

satisfied with this, he sent in to government a secret information

against Tchichikoff. However, it was said, that besides this quarrel,

there was another cause of difference between them; and it was rumoured

about, that it was concerning a woman, young, fresh, and healthy as a

sweet beet-root, according to the expressions of the other custom-house

officials; it was also known that some _bravos_ had been hired to give

a sound thrashing to our hero, which had really happened on a certain

fine evening; but that, in the end, both superior's friends had been

made fools of by the fair woman, and that a certain Stabz-Capitän

Schamschareff gained the day over them, and succeeded in carrying the

fair Briseïs off before their very noses.

The nearer particulars of this affair are wrapped in obscurity, and

we therefore leave it to our courteous reader to imagine the details

according to their own taste. The most important of all was, that the

secret connection between our hero and the smugglers became known

to the superior authorities. And though the Privy Councillor of

State had ruined the simple Councillor of State through his infamous

denunciation, he did not escape the due punishment himself, but was

immediately degraded and dismissed.

Tchichikoff and his coadjutor were arrested and brought up to judgment,

all their property was confiscated for the benefit of the Crown, and

their misfortune and disgrace broke over them like a thunder-storm.

When the storm was over, and when they began to recover again a little,

they seemed quite horror-struck when they looked upon what they had

been guilty of. The Privy Councillor could not resist the shock, and

died soon after, but the simple Councillor of State bore up more

manfully. He had succeeded in secreting a considerable amount of his

fortune, notwithstanding the strictest investigations of the Court

of Inquiry that was held over them. He used the finest diplomacy the

human mind is capable of to extricate himself as advantageously as

possible from his disgraceful position, and his experience assisted

him in this most powerfully, for he knew already well enough of what

stuff the men with whom he had to deal were made; he employed the

greatest circumspection, his politest manners, the most touching and

persuasive terms, burnt incense and confused his judges by a profusion

of flattery, which did not in the least injure his position; he even

went so far as to consider money no object, provided he could succeed

in extricating himself; in a word, he turned the tables so well in his

favour, that he could reappear again in the world, at least not so

much disgraced as his more unfortunate colleague, for he ultimately

succeeded, though narrowly, in escaping from being sent to Siberia.

CHAPTER VIII.

Tchichikoff's reserve funds had, however, dwindled down to a mere

trifle; his splendidly furnished house with all its foreign refinements

was taken from him and given as a reward to some other official.

All that was left to him, amounted to a sum of about ten thousand

roubles, besides a couple of dozen fine Holland shirts, a convenient,

light britchka, to which bachelors give the preference for travelling

purposes, and two faithful serfs, his coachman Selifan and his valet

Petruschka, (the little hunchback had died some time before), and

we must also not forget to mention that his former colleagues in

office, moved by compassion at his disgrace and sad prospects--for

they believed him penniless--had had the generosity to leave him a

few pieces of that peculiar French soap which possesses the virtue of

preserving the freshness of the skin; and this was all that he could

call his property.

And it was in such a position that our hero made his appearance! Such

then was the excess of misfortunes that befel him! And this it was what

he called in Smolensk to suffer in the service for truth and the just

cause. Now the conclusion might have been drawn that, after so many

sad experiences and changes of fortune and position in life, he would

wisely retire with his round sum of ten thousand roubles into a small

and quiet provincial town, and put on for ever a comfortable Tartar

cotton morning-gown, and seat himself at the window of some modest

private house, and look on a Sunday at the fights and quarrels of the

mouzhiks before him in the street; or take a walk in the poultry-yard,

and feed with his own hands the fowl which he would like to have cooked

for his dinner, and would have continued to lead a quiet and retired

though not entirely useless existence.

However, it did not happen thus. Justice must be rendered to his

unconquerable fortitude of character. All that had happened to him

would perhaps, if not have killed another man, at least would have

served him as a caution and quieted him; but with our hero it was

not so, the inward flame of his passion was as ardent as ever. He

felt acute grief and vexation, swore at the whole world, angry at the

injustice of Providence, disgusted at the injustice of men in general;

but for all that he could not forbear making new essays. In a word, he

displayed such an extraordinary amount of patience and perseverance,

against which the wooden patience and perseverance of a German are

nothing, because it is constitutional with them.

Tchichikoff's blood, on the contrary, was like an ever-playing

fountain, and it was requisite for him to possess a powerful will and

wisdom, to bridle all those passions which would have liked to escape

and enjoy unbounded freedom. He began to muse and to reflect on the

past and on the future, and the conclusions he arrived at were not at

all devoid of sound judgment.

"Why should it be always I? Why should I continually be the victim

of a cruel destiny? Who is the man in our empire who lingers over

his duties? All, the whole nation, from the Emperor himself down to

the meanest serf, all have their mind bent upon acquisition. I have

ruined nobody; I have not robbed the lonely widow, nor have I made

any children orphans. I have derived profit from superfluities, have

only taken what every one else in my place would have taken; if I had

not profited by the chance offered me, others would have done so. Why

should others alone enjoy wealth and comforts, and why I alone be

condemned to live and die like a worm?

"And what am I now? For what am I good now? With what countenance

should I now be able to look into the face of any pater familias? How

can I escape the pangs of shame, knowing that I walk uselessly on the

face of the earth: and what will my children say when I am dead and

gone? They will say our father was a villain: he left us no position,

no fortune!"

It is already well known to our readers that Tchichikoff was

particularly anxious about his heirs. A very tender subject. Many a man

would perhaps venture head and neck, if it was not for the question

which presses itself inexplicably upon him--"What, will my children

say?" And the possible head of a future generation, like a precautious

cat, looking sideways to espy if his master is in the way, seizes

hurriedly everything that happens to be near him, either a piece of

soap, some candles, tallow, or a canary bird if it should happen to

fall under its claws; in a word, he allows nothing to escape.

Thus lamented our disconsolate hero: meanwhile his activity was not

extinguished within him; it only slumbered for a while. There was

always something that preoccupied his mind, and only waited for the

chance of a sound plan. He armed himself once more with his peculiar

virtues, and determined again to begin an active and difficult life;

he again submitted himself to the well-known privations of former

life, and again from an elevated and respectable position, he launched

himself into sullied and low life. And in the expectation of something

better turning up, he was obliged to accept the situation of a

commission-agent, a profession yet badly received and acknowledged by

our citizens, pushed about on all sides, shabbily paid and treated with

disregard and even with contempt. However, necessity obliges us to

many things, and also excuses them, and our hero therefore determined

upon accepting the situation.

Among a variety of business with which he had been entrusted, was

also the following: to mortgage in the Imperial Bank of the Council

of Guardians, a few hundred serfs. The nobleman who had commissioned

him to undertake this business was ruined, and reduced to the last

extremity. His landed property was already completely encumbered, by

an epidemic among his cattle, villainous and dishonest stewards, bad

harvests, epidemic diseases which had carried off numbers of his most

valuable serfs, and at last by the follies of the nobleman himself, who

had purchased and furnished a house in St. Petersburg at an extravagant

expense but in the last Parisian fashion, and who had spent upon this

mad fancy his last rouble, so that he had nothing to eat. And for this

reason, he was obliged to have recourse to the last extremity, and

determine upon parting with his life estate.

The Imperial Bank for the mortgage of landed property and serfs,

under the title of Council of Guardians, is one of the numerous

paternal institutions of recent date, and of all of which his Majesty

the Emperor is himself the head. The transactions of the Imperial

Council of Guardians claim his peculiar attention, and consist chiefly

in advancing monies to such noblemen of the Empire as have become

embarrassed from various causes, but principally from such as we have

already alluded to. The monies of the Crown are advanced upon real

estate, namely upon land and serfs. It is principally left to the

Council of Guardians to fix the period for repayment of the advanced

funds, and if the nobleman thus assisted cannot redeem his mortgaged

property in due time, it is again left to the discretion of the

Imperial Council of Guardians to have the property of the nobleman

valued by a special committee, and then it is sold to the Crown, which,

after refunding itself, hands the residue to the thus ruined nobleman.

This system of paternal accommodation, which the Russian nobility

enjoys at the hands of his Majesty the Emperor, fully accounts for the

enormous number of Crown serfs, which number has increased since the

establishment of the Imperial Council of Guardians nearly to a million

souls.

At the time when Tchichikoff was intrusted with the mortgage of those

few hundred serfs, the Council of Guardians had been but recently

established, yet much of its operations had already transpired, and

circulated among the nobility, and for that reason they were very

reluctant to profit by this paternal accommodation. Tchichikoff, in his

capacity of agent, had received instructions to conclude the mortgage

of the serfs on the most advantageous terms; he therefore thought it

proper to dispose everything favourably, (without previously well

disposing a few of the Imperial _employés_, it would be hopeless to

apply for anything like information, and it is therefore advisable to

smooth their throats with a profusion of port and sherry), and thus,

having as far as necessary well-disposed every one of the _employés_

in the Council of Guardians, with whom he would have to transact

business, he explained his errand to be connected with a very peculiar

circumstance.

"Half of the serfs I wish to mortgage, have died since my arrival

here at Moscow, and I am therefore alarmed lest there might be some

misunderstanding about them later--"

"But allow me to ask you," said the secretary of the Board of

Guardians, "are these two hundred serfs we are now speaking about,

included in the census your nobleman has handed in to government, when

the last census was taken?"

"Yes, they are included," answered Tchichikoff.

"If so, I can see no reason why you should feel faint-hearted?" the

secretary returned, "if the one dies, another is born, and thus makes

up the deficiency."

Meanwhile, a sublime idea seized upon the imagination of our hero, a

thought that had perhaps never occurred to human mind before.

"Oh, I am the very image of simplicity," he said to himself, "I am

looking about for my gloves, and have them already on my hands. Suppose

I were to buy up all those serfs that have died lately, and before the

new census is taken, suppose I made the acquisition of about a thousand

dead serfs, and, suppose the Council of Guardians was to make me the

trifling advance of two hundred roubles for each such serf; that would

make a capital of two hundred thousand silver roubles. And now is just

my time, an epidemic has but recently ravaged the whole of the country,

and, thank Heaven, the number of people that have died from it is not

insignificant at all. The country gentlemen have lost much, thanks

to their gambling propensities, they have spent a deal in feasting,

and have, in fact, ruined themselves most satisfactorily; all seem to

have hurried off to St. Petersburg, to seek for appointments at court;

their estates are neglected, and are administered any how, the payment

of imposts to the Crown becomes with every year more difficult, and

therefore, I am led to suppose that they will be glad to cede to me

their valueless dead serfs, in order to avoid the payment of the annual

tax upon them till the return of the next census; it might even happen

that some of them will not only jump at my offer to purchase their

valueless stock, but even pay me something extra for my generosity, my

philanthrophy.

"Nevertheless, and, of course, it is a difficult, a complicated, a

dangerous undertaking, for I might easily get myself into serious

trouble, perhaps cause a great scandal, be sent to Siberia.... But

wisdom an imagination have been given for some purpose to man. That,

the most encouraging feature in my speculation, is, that the subject

will appear incredible to every one, nobody will ever believe it. It

is true, according to a recent ukase, it is impossible to buy serfs

without the land they were born upon, nor can they be mortgaged without

it. But I mean to purchase them for emigration, yes, for settling them

elsewhere, now vast tracts of land are granted for a mere nothing in

the provinces of Kherson, and close to the Turkish frontiers.

"It is there that I will settle them; in the government of Kherson;

close to the Turkish frontiers; let them live among the heathens. As for

their privilege of emigration, that can be done lawfully, and according

to the sense of the imperial ukase, all this can be legally settled

in the proper courts of the Crown. If they should ask me the proofs

of the existence of such serfs? Why not? I shall not be at a loss to

do even that, and from the very returns of the census, and with the

genuine signature of the Capitän-Ispravnik (district judge). The

new village which is to spring so suddenly into existence, I shall

call 'Tchichikoff's New Settlement,' or according to the name which I

received at my baptism, make from Pavel, 'The Village of Pavlovsk.'"

It is in this manner that the strange idea on which our story is

founded, formed itself, in the head of our hero; whether our reader

will feel himself under any obligation to him, we do not know; but as

for ourselves we must confess, we feel indebted to Tchichikoff for

this subject beyond description. Whatever might be said for or against

it, without Tchichikoff's idea this novel would never have made its

appearance.

Making a devout sign of the cross in the Russian fashion, Tchichikoff

set about the execution of his fixed plan immediately. With a view of

choosing places of residences, and under other pretences, he set about

examining here and there the various corners of our vast Empire, and

paid particular attention to those districts where the sufferings and

losses from various disasters, such as epidemics, bad harvests, and

other causes, had been felt most severely; in a word, he sought for

those districts where he might be able to buy his stock, namely, dead

serfs, on the most advantageous terms.

He did not address himself at random to every landed proprietor, and

serf-owner, but made his choice among them, and according to the best

of his judgment; or he applied to those men, from whom he had every

reason to anticipate no particular scruples about transacting this

strange business with him; he therefore introduced himself to them

under the most favourable auspices, made their particular acquaintance,

tried to gain their favourable opinion and esteem, so that he might, if

possible, obtain from them what he wanted in a friendly manner, and as

cheaply as possible.

From this reason, therefore, our reader must not be displeased with us,

if the characters that will be introduced to them during the progress

of Tchichikoff's career are not entirely to their taste, this is the

fault of Tchichikoff, but not ours; for we are obliged to follow him

wherever he chose to go. As for ourselves, if any blame should be cast

upon us, for bringing such uncomely characters before a British public,

especially at this present critical moment when a war with Russia is

being carried on, we can only express our regret at the fact, but our

conscience forbids us to represent our countrymen in any other than the

real light.

Such then was the character of our hero, such as circumstances had

created it, and the contact with the world and life had fashioned it

in later years! But it is very likely that a positive definition of

one of his characteristic traits will be demanded; what is he really

as regards his moral qualifications? that he is not a hero full of

perfections and virtues, we must confess, is obvious at first sight.

Who, or what is he then? he must be a villain? Why should he be a

villain? Why should we be so severe towards others? There are no real

villains to be met with now-a-day; there are well disposed persons,

agreeable, and even unexceptionable persons, but such persons, as would

exhibit their physiognomy to the gaze of the world, and present their

cheek for a public box on the ear, of such persons it is likely that

two or three might be met with, and then even, they have begun already

to speak of the charms of virtue.

We shall therefore be justified in calling our hero; not like the

French a _chevalier d'industrie_ but in simple English terms; a

gentleman acquirer. Acquisition is the root of a great many evils, and

that threatens our peace even now. The desire of acquisition rages

now in all classes of society, and especially in Russia, commencing

from the Emperor himself, down to his meanest serf, all are mad with

a desire for acquisition. Without this desire on the part of the

Emperor for the acquisition of Turkey, the nation at large would not

have acquired the fanaticism to stand by his side, and back his mad

propensity for acquisition; why should it not be excusable in one of

his humble subjects?

Such then was the object which had brought our friend Tchichikoff to

the pleasant town of Smolensk; the purchase, namely, of dead serfs.

During the progress of his schemes, he was thrown into much curious

society, and met with numerous queer adventures; these will form the

subject matter of our work. While accompanying our hero on his perilous

journey, we shall become acquainted with almost every class of Russian

society, and the whole will furnish us at the least with a faithful,

if not a flattering, idea of that nation which holds itself at the

present day, as the supporter of the orthodox Church, and future master

of the world's destinies.

In itself, the nefarious scheme devised by our hero, affords an

extraordinary instance of the cunning inherent in the Russian

character, for its whole success was based on the knowledge he

possessed of the utter baseness of the national character. None of

the actors in this strange drama will appear to exhibit the slightest

compunction about defrauding the government, as long as they can gain

any slight advantage to themselves, and even the certainty of condign

punishment in the very possible event of detection, cannot cause them

to refrain from their innate propensity. The fact is an humiliating

one, but in our character as the historian of an actual event, we have

not dared to omit a single trait which may seem to elucidate our story.

We only wish it was in our power to draw a pleasanter portrait of our

countrymen, and we fervently trust that the time may yet arrive when

such stories as the present one, may be numbered among things that

were.

CHAPTER IX.

More than a week had already passed away since Tchichikoff's arrival in

Smolensk, during which time he had continued paying morning visits and

attending dinner and evening parties, and in so doing, had spent--as

the common phrase goes--his time very pleasantly. At last he determined

upon extending his civilities beyond the limits of the town, and

resolved to turn his attention to the pressing invitations of the

landowners in the vicinity; among whom Maniloff and Sobakevitch were

those to whom he had made a formal promise. It is very possible too,

that this resolution arose from another, a more positive, a graver

motive; perhaps, even an affair of the heart. But of all this the

reader may learn more by degrees, and in proper time, if he will only

take the trouble, and muster the patience, to read on and follow our

traveller on his journeying.

Selifan, the coachman, had received instructions to be ready early in

the morning, and to have his horses and the britchka ready to start

at a moment's notice; Petruschka, his servant, was ordered to stay

at home, and mind his master's apartment and his portmanteau. The

reader will not deem it superfluous, we hope, to make the distant

acquaintance of these two domestics of our hero, whom he was accustomed

to call his men or serfs. Although, and of course, they will not have

to appear as prominent characters, or even victims of despotism; yet,

their denomination of serfs may serve us as an excuse for exciting the

curiosity and sympathy of our courteous reader in their behalf, and for

placing them among the third, or even second-rate personages, who are

to figure in the adventures of our hero Pavel Ivanovitch Tchichikoff.

Although, the plot, or the links that connect the whole, is not

especially founded upon them, still, now and then, they will have

to appear in order to pull us through this long "chain of events;"

besides, as we are in England, we like to be minute in everything, and

in this instance, and regardless of our being a Russian, we will do

our best, and try to be as particular as an Englishman. In addition,

the description will demand but little time and space, for it will not

be necessary to add much more to that which the reader already knows;

we therefore proceed to state at once that Petruschka was accustomed

to wear, and to walk about in a large snuff-coloured coat, formerly

cast off from the broad shoulders of his master, and that he had, as

is common among persons of his calling, a very large nose and broad

lips. As regards his character, he was addicted more to the silent

system, than inclined to talkativeness; he had a laudable inclination

for general information, _i.e._ he was fond of reading books, though

he did not care much about their contents; it was a matter of perfect

indifference to him, whether it was the adventures of an amorous hero,

or simply a spelling, or a prayer-book, he read them all with equal

attention; if therefore, a grave work on chemistry had been presented

to him, he would have accepted it with equal resignation. It was not

what he read that pleased him, but more the reading itself, or better

said, the process of reading, because from the composition of letters,

originate words, which again when spelled have a meaning, which many a

poor devil like Petruschka has every difficulty to understand.

He had the habit of going through his reading process, generally in a

recumbent position, which he took up in the anteroom, where he used to

stretch himself upon his bed and upon a mattress, which, in consequence

of the frequent use and this peculiar indulgence of his, had shrunk

into a mere nothing in comparison to its original size, and had

actually become as thin as a pancake. Besides his passion for reading,

he had two more characteristic habits; he liked to sleep without

undressing, just as he was, in the same surtout, and conveying with him

a _je ne sais quoi_, an atmosphere of his own, which was not unlike the

odour of an over-crowded room, so much so, that it was sufficient for

him to put up his bedstead, no matter where, if even in an hitherto

uninhabited apartment, and bring into it his cloak and other articles

of wardrobe, when suddenly it would seem as the chamber had been

occupied for the last ten years.

Tchichikoff had his peculiarities as well, and was in many instances a

man of delicate feelings; sometimes, when rising early in the morning,

he would inhale the air with his refreshed nostrils, but of a sudden

he would sneeze and slowly add: "Well, Petruschka, the devil knows

it, you seem to perspire strongly. I only wish you would go and take

a warm bath." To this, Petruschka made no reply, but tried to busy

himself immediately with something; or he went with brush in hand to

his master's dress-coat which was hanging over the door, as if to

clean it; or would arrange or put some of his effects in order. It is

difficult to say what he might be thinking of at this precise moment,

when he was thus rebuked and silent; perhaps he thus spoke to himself:

"What an original my master is, to be sure, he seems not to be tired of

repeating the same observation, fifty times over." Heaven knows! it is

very difficult to tell what a wretched serf thinks at the moment when

his lawful master scolds him. However, this is all we have to say at

present about Petruschka.

The coachman, Selifan, was quite a different man. However, on second

thoughts, we feel rather timid about troubling our reader so much with

the affairs of persons of so low a condition, for we know by experience

how little inclination there exists to make acquaintance with the lower

classes. At any rate that is the case in Russia, where we have ranks

of every shade and description, and where a frightful predilection

prevails to become acquainted with persons of merely a higher _nuance_

of rank, and a bowing acquaintance with a count or a baron of the

Empire, is esteemed but too often more valuable than the most intimate

ties of friendship.

And thus passing over the coachman, Selifan, we return to our hero,

who having given his orders and already made his preparations on the

previous evening, awoke the next morning early, washed himself with

a wet sponge from top to toe, an operation which he had a particular

habit of performing, usually on a Sunday; the day happening to be the

one as well on which he shaved himself carefully and even so minutely,

that his cheeks looked as smooth and shiny as satin; he put on his

coffee-coloured dress-coat with the gilt brass buttons, and then his

travelling cloak with its numerous collars. Thus dressed he descended

the staircase, carefully assisted, now on side, now on the other, by

the one ever attentive head-waiter, until he took his seat in the

britchka.

The travelling carriage drove with great noise from the court-yard into

the open street. A passing priest respectfully saluted the traveller,

as if giving him his benediction on the road, whilst a few boys in

ragged shirts and breeches stretched out their little hands and shouted

after him, "Pray, good gentleman, do not forget the wretched orphans."

Selifan, the coachman, observing that one of the little urchins was

very expert in throwing somersets, gave him a touch with his whip on

passing him, and away went the britchka clattering over the stones.

It is with no little pleasure that a traveller beholds in the distance

the painted mile posts, which are the limits of the fatiguing pavement

and other annoyances on passing through a town; a little more shaking

and jolting about in his carriage and Tchichikoff found himself at last

upon a more even and pleasanter road. Scarcely, however, had he left

the town at his back when his sight was gratified with, what _we_

term, "rural beauty," on either side of the road, such as mole-hills,

fir-trees, low and stunted shrubs, and pine groves intermixed and

surrounded by juniper and other such trees and bushes. Now and then the

scene would be enlivened by the sudden appearance of a village laid out

in a monotonous-geometrical order, and resembling in its architecture

a huge pile of timber covered over with a grey roof, under which the

ornamental wood-carvings forcibly reminded one of the embellishments of

a Dutch towel.

Here and there a few mouzhiks might be seen yawning as usual, and

sitting upon their sheepskins before their houses, whilst the women

with their fat bodies and cheeks were peeping out from the windows

above; from the lower story of the houses some serious sheep or a

sullen pig would exhibit their grave faces. Such are the scenes that

present themselves but too often on the high roads of Russia.

After having passed the fifteenth werst, Tchichikoff bethought himself,

that it must be about here that, according to the words of Maniloff,

his estate and village ought to be found, but after having passed the

sixteenth werst-post he still saw nothing of that which was so minutely

described to him, and had it not been for two peasants who were just

passing, it is very difficult to say whether Tchichikoff would have

found the spot or not. Upon the question being put to them, how far it

was to the estate called Zamanilovka, the mouzhiks took off their hats,

and one of them, being rather more intelligent than his comrade, for he

wore his beard in the pointed style, replied, "It is perhaps Manilovka

and not Zamanilovka, that your glory wishes to inquire for?"

"Just so, yes, Manilovka!"

"Manilovka! very well, if you drive on a werst farther, you will be

there, that is to say, straight on and then to the right."

"To the right?" now inquired the coachman, in his turn.

"Yes, to the right," replied the peasant, "that will be your road to

Manilovka; as for Zamanilovka, such a village does not exist. It is

called so, that is to say, its name is Manilovka, as for Zamanilovka

you will not find it; straight on before you, you will perceive upon

a hill a house built of stone two stories high, in which lives the

master, that is to say the owner of the estate. That then will be

Manilovka, but as for Zamanilovka there is no such a place here, and

never was." They now drove off in search of Manilovka. They had already

gone two wersts, and came to the turning of a private road; they seemed

to have passed two, three and even four wersts more, but still they

did not behold the stone building that was to be two stories high.

Suddenly, Tchichikoff bethought himself that if a person invites a

friend to visit him at his estate, situated about fifteen wersts from

town, it usually turns out to be at least thirty wersts distance; at

any rate, the situation of Maniloff's estate seemed at present to be

known but to few.

The dwelling-house of Maniloff's family stood, nevertheless, on a

rising hill, quite isolated, that is to say, upon an elevation exposed

to all the winds that might be blowing from any quarter; the declivity

of the mount upon which the house stood was surrounded by a carefully

cut grass-plot, upon which were scattered about a few bushy heaps _à

l'anglaise,_ shrubs of lilac and yellow acacias; here and there a

group composed of five or six birch trees raised their thin branches

and small leaves, thus forming a scanty cupola. From between two such

cupolas peered out a pavilion with a flat roof, painted in light green

and resting upon wooden columns of a sky-blue colour, with the laconic

inscription: "Temple of solitary meditation;" a little lower in the

foreground a brook rushed forth noisily from under the green foliage,

which is not an uncommon thing in an English garden belonging to a

Russian proprietor.

At the foot of the elevation and partly upon its incline, were

scattered in the distance and in all directions a number of small grey

wooden huts, forming the village; at the sight of these dwellings

our hero began--for some reason or other best known to himself--to

count them; and on counting their number he found them upwards of

two hundred. They were nowhere intersected by trees or shrubs, they

presented nothing else but the monstrous appearance of heaps of wood as

previously described.

The scene, however, was enlivened by two women, who had tucked up their

petticoats in a quite picturesque manner, and fixed them carefully

to their sides; they were wading up to their knees through the brook,

holding each one end of a ragged net, in which might have been seen a

couple of entangled crayfish, and a fat trout; the women seemed to have

some dispute, for they appeared quarrelling and scolding one another.

In the distance, on the right hand side of the hill, loomed a dull

looking fir-tree forest. The weather even, seemed in harmony with the

scenery; the day was not exactly a dull one, nor could it be called a

bright one, the sky was of a peculiarly greyish tint, not unlike the

worn-out cloak of a garrison soldier. To complete the tableau, the

cock, the prognosticator of the changes in the weather, even seemed out

of tune; regardless of the fact that his head was damaged by the beaks

of his fellow-creatures--according to their fashion he was crowing _à

tue-tête_ and even clapped his tattered wings against his ragged sides.

CHAPTER X.

On driving up to the entrance-hall, Tchichikoff perceived the lord of

the mansion standing upon the door steps, clad in a long parrot-green

coloured surtout, holding his hands over his forehead in lieu of an

eye-shade, no doubt for the purpose of concentrating his sight, for the

purpose of more minutely examining the arriving carriage. Whilst the

britchka was driving nearer towards the house, the eyes of the master

seemed to dilate and brighten up by degrees, and his smiles increase in

proportion.

"Pavel Ivanovitch," shouted Maniloff, for it was he, when he beheld

Tchichikoff stepping out from the carriage; "at last you have been

kind enough to remember us."

Both friends embraced each other most heartily, and Maniloff led his

guest into the house. Although the time necessary for going from the

outer premises into the anteroom, thence into the dining-room, until

they arrived in the regular reception-room, would be rather short,

yet we think it an opportune moment, and will endeavour to make the

best use of it and say a few words _en passant_ about the owner of the

estate and mansion. But here we must observe that such an undertaking

is fraught with many difficulties. It is far easier to delineate a

strongly-marked character; to picture such a one is easy, for you

have simply to throw the following characteristics upon the canvass,

such as, black and piercing eyes, overshadowing eye-brows, a frowning

forehead, a black, or fire-coloured large cloak thrown as if carelessly

over the left shoulder--like Zamiel in "Der Freischütz"--and the

portrait is finished; but there are men in this world, and they are

numerous, who at first sight are very much alike, but if you look

closer, you will find many unattainable traits and peculiarities in

them, which are particularly their own; to describe this species of

men is a very difficult task indeed. With them, it is necessary to use

strenuous exertions and the greatest attention, before you are able to

delineate even a portion of the fine and nearly imperceptible traits of

their character, and in general, it is requisite to set about into such

an undertaking with an experienced mind and eye.

Heaven alone, therefore, could, with any correctness portray the

character of Maniloff. He seemed to belong to that class of men which

we term in Russia among the good-natured ones, "neither a clown in

town, nor a fool in the village." At first sight, he was a man of

rather prepossessing appearance, and of a pleasing countenance; but

these advantages seemed to have been too much sugared by nature. In his

manners and demeanour there was something which courted acquaintance

and friendship; he smiled enticingly; he was fair, and had blue eyes.

In the beginning of a conversation with him it was impossible not to

say: "What an agreeable and kind-hearted man!" and the following moment

you would say nothing; whilst in the third you would most likely

exclaim: "The devil understand the man, and what he means!" and you

will leave him; if you have not that good fortune, you are sure to feel

a killing _ennui_. You will not hear from his lips anything amusing,

not even an insinuation, which you may hear from any one else, provided

you touch but slightly the chord which is most in harmony with his

interests.

Every one has his hobby-horse in conversation, as in other matters;

the one has all his passion concentrated upon dogs and horses; another

fancies he is an herculean admirer of music, and acutely feels all its

delicate passages; a third is a _passé maître_ in gastronomy; a fourth

endeavouring to play a _rôle_, if but an inch loftier, then the one

assigned to him by nature and his position in society; a fifth, with

more moderation in his wishes, meditates how he could manage to be

seen on the promenade walking side by side with an imperial colonel,

or aide-de-camp, thus to show himself off to his friends known and

unknown, in a word, every one has his peculiar ways and manners; but

Maniloff had none.

At home he was accustomed to speak but little, for he seemed always

busy thinking and meditating, but what about? that also might be

known in Heaven. Nor could it be said that he busied himself in the

management of his property, for he never took the trouble to visit his

fields or his estate in general; thus, then, agriculture was left to

go and find its own way. If his steward spoke to him, and suggested an

alteration or improvement, saying, "This or that could or might be done

for the better." "Yes, not a bad idea, that of yours, steward," would

be his invariable reply, and he continued to smoke his Turkish pipe,

a habit which he had contracted at an early age, while serving in the

Caucasus, where he was pronounced to be one of the quietest, nicest,

and best-bred officers in the regiment; "Yes, not a bad idea, indeed,"

would he repeat in conclusion.

If one of his peasants came to him, and whilst speaking to his lord

and master, scratched his head, and stroked his beard, saying: "Would

your glory allow me to go to town in search of work, and better my

condition?" "Go," he would reply, and continue to smoke his pipe,

for the idea never occurred to him that his serf came to ask him the

privilege of absenting himself, for the purpose of becoming a drunkard.

Sometimes Maniloff would also lean over his balcony, and look silently

upon the lawn and noisy brook before him, and then add: "How well it

would be if there was a subterranean walk leading from the house, or a

stone bridge across the murmuring brook, upon which I should have liked

to see little shops on either side, occupied by tradesmen, who could

satisfy my peasants' wants." At such and similar thoughts and wishes,

his eyes used to fill to overflowing with their peculiar sweetness, and

his countenance expressed the greatest satisfaction; these projects,

however, remained what they originally were--thoughts and wishes.

In his study, there was always the same book lying on the same place,

with a mark on its seventeenth page, which he had acquired the habit of

reading for these last two years. In his house there was continually

something wanting, either here or there; in the drawing-room there

was some superb furniture covered with rich silken damask, which no

doubt must have been very expensive; two chairs, however, were to be

seen there, uncovered with this material, no doubt for want of it, and

therefore, were left to exhibit their uncovered carcases; nevertheless,

Maniloff had every time the politeness to caution his guests not to

seat themselves upon any one of them; because, said he, they were not

yet ready.

In some of the rooms there was even no furniture at all, although he

had often spoken of the necessity of furnishing them, especially during

the first weeks after his marriage: "My darting," he used to say to his

wife, "my darling, it will be necessary to provide these rooms with

proper furniture, if only temporarily, until we get more settled."

In the evenings, a candlestick of fashionable appearance--dark

bronze, with three small figures, representing the graces, and richly

ornamented with mother-of-pearl, would be placed on the table; but,

next to it another one--a common brass invalid, shaky, bent down on

one side, and greasy all over, yet, without either the master, the

mistress, or any of the domestics being aware of it. His wife--however,

they seemed perfectly satisfied with each other. Although more than

eight years had elapsed since they had lived in happy matrimony,

still they continued to be upon _petits soins_ one for another, and

exchanged all sorts of sweet-meats and affections, which were offered

and accepted in the most touching tones of voice, as for an example:

"My darling, open your rosy lips, and I will put this sweet little bit

into your mouth." And of course, the pretty little mouth was gracefully

opened at such a loving request.

Birth-days were celebrated by exchanging all kinds of agreeable

surprises, such as knitted articles and embroideries in silk, wool

and pearls, and other ornamental knick-nacks. And very frequently

too, whilst the husband was sitting in his easy-chair and his wife

on the sofa, either the one or the other party would suddenly rise,

heaven knows from what impulse, and leave--he his pipe, and she her

needlework, if she happened to have some of it in her hands just at

that moment--for the purpose of impressing a tender and such a long

and affectionate kiss, that it would have been easy to smoke a pachito

during the time this affectionate demonstration lasted.

In short, they were what is commonly called on the happiest terms. Of

course, we could observe, that there are many other occupations in a

house besides continued kissing and bickering, fating birth-days, and

exchanges of presents; and many and various are the questions that

could be put as regards a household in general. Why, for instance, is

the kitchen department so much neglected? Why are the provision stores

so indifferently attended to? Why is the housekeeper dishonest, and

why are the servants so slovenly and negligent? Why does the whole

batch of domestics sleep so mercilessly long, and waste the time

during which they are awake? But all these facts and observations

were beneath the notice of Madame Maniloff, for she was well-bred and

brought up. And a good education, as is well known everywhere, can

only be obtained in a private institution; and in these institutions,

as it is well known again, three principal occupations, or subjects,

constitute the foundation of female perfections: the French language,

as indispensable to conjugal happiness; the pianoforte, as a medium to

create some pleasant moments to a husband; and at last, and not least,

a general knowledge of household matters: knitting purses, braces, and

embroidering generally, for the purpose of exchanging presents.

There are many changes and improvements in various methods of teaching

these indispensable branches of human perfections, particularly in the

present time; all these, however, depend more or less on the clever or

judicious management of the proprietors of these modern and fashionable

institutions. In some of these places, the three branches above-named

are classed in the following order: first, the piano forte, then the

French language, and at last, household knowledge. But in some again it

also happens that housekeeping obtains the first rank, _i.e._, knitting

and embroidering of presents; then follows the French language, and the

series is concluded most harmoniously by the pianoforte. It is obvious,

therefore, that methods of teaching exist in great variety.

It will not be superfluous to observe also that Madame Maniloff--but I

think I will stop here with my further remarks, for I must confess I am

afraid to speak of ladies; besides, it is high time to return to the

gentlemen, who have been already standing for some moments before the

door of the reception-room, mutually inviting one another to step in

the first.

"Pray do not so much incommode yourself on my account; I shall step in

after you," said Tchichikoff.

"No, my dear Pavel Ivanovitch! pray advance; you are my guest," replied

Maniloff, pointing civilly with his hand towards the door.

"Do not incommode yourself, I beg you will not. Step before me, if you

please," said Tchichikoff.

"No, pardon me, but I shall not suffer such a civil and well-bred guest

as you are to follow after me."

"Why, you overwhelm me with civilities! Pray pass on."

"Never mind, do me the favour to walk in first."

"But, my dear Sir, why all these ceremonies?"

"Because--and if you please," said Maniloff again, using now one of his

most enticing smiles, whilst continuing his civil gesticulations.

At last, both friends entered the room backwards, at the same time

squeezing one another gently against the door.

"Allow me to introduce you to my wife," said Maniloff. "My darling,

allow me to introduce to you our friend Pavel Ivanovitch Tchichikoff."

And in truth, Tchichikoff now beheld for the first time a lady, whom

he had not observed during the moments that elapsed whilst he was

exchanging complimentary gestures with his host. She was pretty,

and dressed with taste. The light _gris de perle_ coloured morning

_capotte_ became her exceedingly well; her finely-shaped hand was

in the act of throwing some needlework hastily upon the table,

and snatching up instead a fine _batiste_ pocket-handkerchief with

prettily-embroidered corners and initials. She rose slightly from her

seat on the sofa, and gracefully welcomed her guest; and Tchichikoff

hastened with evident eagerness to kiss her hand in the old Russian

fashion.

Madame Maniloff spoke in a slightly affected tone of voice, and assured

her guest that he caused them a real pleasure indeed by his arrival,

and that her husband had not allowed a day to pass without speaking of

him, his friend, continually.

"Yes," added Maniloff, "my wife has already several times inquired

after you, and even often said, 'Why does your Petersburg friend not

come?' 'Wait a little longer, my darling, he is sure to arrive, for he

gave me his promise.' At last, you have been kind enough to gratify us

with your presence. Indeed, you cause us quite a delight, as pleasant

as a May-day, or 'birth-day of the heart.'"

Tchichikoff, on hearing that his host's exaltation had already attained

such a pitch as to call his arrival a gratification as pleasant as

a "birth-day of the heart," became a little confused, and answered

civilly, and in a dignified tone of voice, that he could not boast of a

princely name nor of an exalted position.

"You possess all," Maniloff interrupted, whilst sweetly smiling as

usual, "you possess all, and even more.".

"How did you like our town?" added Madame Maniloff. "Have you spent

your time pleasantly?"

"A very charming and pleasant town, my lady," answered Tchichikoff,

"and I have spent a most agreeable week indeed; I have been in the

choicest company."

"And how did you like our Lord-Lieutenant?" Madame Maniloff again

inquired.

"Is he not one of the most civil and amiable men in our province?"

added, in his turn, Mr. Maniloff.

"That is perfectly true," said Tchichikoff; "he is a highly

accomplished and estimable man. How well he knows how to enter into the

spirit of his exalted position, and how well he understands all his

arduous duties! It is desirable to see many more such men administering

our country!"

"And how kind and civil he is in his receptions, and how delicate and

condescending in his manners;" Maniloff added again, with a smiling

face, whilst satisfaction made him nearly close his eyes, like a cat

when gently tickled with the finger behind the ear.

"A very condescending and agreeable man indeed," continued Tchichikoff;

"and how clever he is, to be sure! I never anticipated that much of

him. How well and tastefully he embroiders various household ornaments!

He showed me a purse of his own knitting, and I must confess that I

doubt whether a lady could do it much better."

"And the Vice-Governor, is he not an amiable gentleman?" questioned

Maniloff, again closing his eyes slightly.

"A very, very deserving man indeed," replied Tchichikoff.

"But allow me to ask you, how did you like the Commissioner of Police?

Am I not right in saying he is a very agreeable man?"

"An exceedingly agreeable man, and, at the same time, what a learned,

what a well-informed man! I spent an evening at his house, where we

played a game at whist with the imperial Procurator and the President

of the Courts of Justice: we were assembled till the last cock crowed,

and I agree with you, he is indeed a most estimable man."

"And pray, what is your opinion of his wife?" inquired Madame Maniloff.

"She is a charming lady?"

"Oh, Madame, she is one of the most worthy ladies with whom I have the

honour to be acquainted," replied Tchichikoff with an air of conviction.

After enumerating all these persons in due rotation, and in the manner

described, they did not fail to bestow equal praise also upon the

President of the Courts of Justice, the Postmaster-General, and, in

fact, upon all the higher _employés_ in the town of Smolensk, who,

in their opinion, seemed to be one and all the most respectable and

praiseworthy persons in the province, if not in the vast Russian Empire.

"And pray, do you spend all your time here in the country?" demanded

Tchichikoff, in his turn, at last, and with the evident attempt to

change the subject of conversation.

"Mostly here," replied Maniloff. "Sometimes, however, we go to town to

spend a day or two and pay a few visits, just for the sake of a little

recreation and intercourse with civilized society. One is apt to become

boorish from living continually shut up in a country residence."

"True, very true," said Tchichikoff.

"Naturally," continued Maniloff. "It would be a different life if we

had some pleasant neighbours, or acquaintance with persons with whom,

in some respects, we could have some friendly intercourse and exchange

opinions, talk about life and good company, or have an argument on some

scientific subject, and thus stir up the dormant spirit, which again,

as you well know, would give an impulse--"

Here he intended to express something more, and be if possible more

explicit; but finding that he had lost the thread of his own ideas, he

began to gesticulate with his hand in the air, and then continued to

speak:

"Then of course the country and retirement would have many still more

pleasant attractions. But we have no such persons around us. The only

recreation we enjoy now and then is a book or a newspaper."

Tchichikoff fully agreed with Maniloff's opinion, and added, "That

there can be nothing pleasanter than to live in retirement, to delight

in the scenes of nature, and to read now and then a good book as a

recreation."

"But allow me to tell you," said Maniloff, "that having no such friend

with whom to exchange--"

"Oh, to be sure, that is true indeed!" interrupted Tchichikoff, "for

what are all the treasures of this world? 'Care not so much for money

as for good connections!' said some clever man somewhere."

"And you know it, Pavel Ivanovitch!" said Maniloff, whilst giving to

his face not only more than its usual expression of sweetness, but

even, if possible, an expression not unlike the mixture concocted by

a clever physician of the world, who mercilessly sweetens his drugs,

in the hope of pleasing is patients all the more. "Then, one feels a

sensation--or something not unlike the 'heart's rejoicing'--something

like that which I feel now, when chance gives me the felicity--nay,

allow me to say, the exceptional gratification of seeing you here, and

being delighted with your very pleasant conversation--"

"Pray pardon me, but why do you call me and my conversation so

pleasant? I am an humble man, and nothing else," replied Tchichikoff,

with great humility.

"Oh, my dear Pavel Ivanovitch, allow me to be candid. I would give

away the half of my property, if I could possess but the half of the

accomplishments that you can boast of."

"On the contrary, I on my part would esteem it as the highest--"

It is impossible to say to what extent the expressions of mutual esteem

and admiration would have been carried between the two friends, if the

entrance of a servant had not interrupted them, who came to announce

that dinner was ready.

"Allow me to invite you to our table," said Maniloff, respectfully.

"You will excuse us, if we cannot ask you to a dinner like those you

have been accustomed to partake of in the metropolis: with us all is

simplicity--a modest; meal _à la Russe_, but offered with a candid

heart," added Madame Maniloff.

Hereupon the two men had again a slight and polite difference as to

who should enter before the other, but at last Tchichikoff entered the

dining-room backwards.

CHAPTER XI.

On their entrance in the dining-hall, they found Madame Maniloff

waiting with her two little sons. These children were of that tender

age when parents are induced to seat them already among adults, though

they still are accommodated with high stools. Near them stood their

teacher who bowed courteously and with a smile.

The lady of the house took her seat before the soup-tureen; her guest

was placed between herself and husband; the servant tied a napkin under

the chin of the little boys, and the dinner ceremonial commenced.

"What pretty little boys!" said Tchichikoff, after a while, and

looking intently at them. "What is their age?"

"The elder is in his eighth year, and the younger celebrated his sixth

birth-day yesterday," answered Madame Maniloff, smiling.

"Themistoclus!" said Maniloff, whilst turning towards his elder boy,

who was just engaged in liberating his chin from the napkin which the

servant bad tied too tightly round his neck. Tchichikoff lifted up his

head and frowned slightly when he heard this classic name, of which

heaven knows why Maniloff had made the final syllable _us_; however he

recovered immediately from his surprise, and his features reassumed

their wonted expression.

"Themistoclus, my boy!" repeated Maniloff, "tell me which is the

finest town in France?" Here the teacher directed all the power of his

attention upon his pupil thus questioned by his father; and it seemed

as if he intended to pierce him with his glance; but he gradually

calmed down, and soon after nodded approvingly with his head, when he

heard Themistocles give the answer:

"Paris."

"And which is the finest town in Russia?" demanded again Maniloff.

The master fixed his eyes again upon his pupil and frowned.

"St. Petersburg," replied Themistocles, quickly.

"And what town besides?"

"Moscow," again replied the boy with sparkling eyes, for he seemed to

be sure of his lesson.

"Now for the last question," said his father, evidently pleased with

his child's progresses. "Who are the natural enemies of Russia and of

Christendom?"

"The Turks; and we ought to take Constantinople from them," replied

Themistocles, with the air of a conqueror, and looking for approval

towards his master.

"Oh, the clever darling!" exclaimed Tchichikoff, when he had heard all

these replies. "Really," he continued, whilst turning with an air of

agreeable surprise towards the happy parents, "I am of opinion that

this little boy displays signs of great proficiency."

"Oh, you don't know him half," replied Maniloff; "he possesses a

great deal of perspicuity. As for the younger son, Alcides," (here

Tchichikoff, was startled again as before), "he is not so sharp a boy

as his elder brother; Themistoclus is livelier, and his eyes will

sparkle at anything. If even an insect, he will immediately run after

it, and pay it the greatest attention. I intend to have him educated

for the diplomatic career. Themistoclus," he continued, turning again

towards the boy, "would you like to be an ambassador?"

"Oh yes, papa!" answered the child, with his mouth full of cake, and

balancing his head like a Chinese mandarin.

At that very moment, the servant, who stood behind the future

ambassador, wiped that young gentleman's nose, and it was well he

did so, or else some mishap would have been the consequence. The

conversation at table now turned upon the pleasures of domestic life,

and was now and then enlivened by the observations of Madame Maniloff

on the theatre and the actors of their town.

The teacher listened and looked very attentively upon the conversing

parties, and whenever he saw the company laughing at some

observations, he would at once open his mouth and join them in a

most hearty approbation. No doubt he was a man with a deep sense of

gratitude, and strove to display in this manner his acknowledgment

for the treatment he met at the hands of his employer. Once, however,

he could not prevent assuming an expression of reproof and knocking

gently upon the table, while frowning at his pupils, who sat opposite

to him. This was done at an opportune moment, because Themistocles had

just bitten the ear of his brother Alcides, who instantly closed his

eyes, and opened his mouth, and was on the point of beginning a most

lamentable tune; but seeing the frowning forehead of his master, and

fearing he might lose his dinner, he brought back his mouth to its

former position, and began to gnaw lustily, with tears in his eyes at

a large bone of roast mutton, which made both his cheeks shiny with

grease.

The lady of the house frequently encouraged her guest in the following

manner:

"You scarcely eat anything; you have taken so very little indeed."

To these observations Tchichikoff would invariably reply:

"I am very much obliged to you, Madame; I have had plenty--besides,

pleasant intercourse surpasses the finest dish."

They at last rose from table. Maniloff seemed exceedingly pleased, and

laying his hand gently on the back of his guest, he was on the point

of leading him gently into the drawing-room, when the latter suddenly

informed him, and with an air of confidential importance, that he had a

wish to converse with him on the subject of some important business.

"In that event, allow me to show you into my private room," said

Maniloff, and led him into a small adjoining chamber, the windows

of which afforded a view of a gloomy fir-tree forest looming in the

distance. "This is my own little corner," added Maniloff.

"A very pretty and comfortable room," said Tchichikoff, whilst casting

a glance around. The room had really its pleasing features; the walls

were painted of a light blue colour of a greyish tint; it contained

four chairs, one arm-chair, a table; upon the latter lay the book with

the marked page, of which we had already had occasion to speak, a few

writing materials, and a quantity of tobacco. That fragrant weed was

laying about in various forms and places, in packages, in pouches and

boxes, and lastly even upon the table. Upon both windows numerous

little heaps of tobacco ashes from his pipe were ranged, not without

taste, in symmetrical order. It was obvious that this arrangement

sometimes assisted the master of the house in passing his time

pleasantly.

"Pray be seated in this arm-chair," said Maniloff; "here you will be

more comfortable."

"I beg you will allow me to prefer this chair."

"Permit me to insist upon your' seating yourself in this arm-chair;"

said Maniloff with a smile. "This old arm-chair has been assigned by me

for my friends; and, therefore, whether you like it or not you must sit

down in it."

Tchichikoff seated himself in the arm-chair.

"Will you take a pipe or a cigar?"

"I thank you, but I do not smoke," replied Tchichikoff civilly, as if

with an air of regret.

"And pray, why don't you?" inquired Maniloff, also civilly, and with an

air of regret.

"I did not contract the habit, I am afraid, because I was told that

smoking originates consumption."

"I beg to observe that this is a prejudice. I am of opinion that to

smoke a pipe is by far more healthy than taking snuff. In my regiment

we had a lieutenant who was an excellent and well-bred officer, his

pipe never quitted him, not even at table--and with your leave--not

even at any other place. At present he is more than forty years old,

and thank Heaven, as well and healthy as he could wish to be."

Tchichikoff observed that such instances were of frequent occurrence,

and that there were many phenomena in human nature, quite

incomprehensible to the most cultivated mind.

"But allow me now to put you a question." He then proceeded in a tone

of voice in which there was a peculiar and nearly a strange expression,

and after having spoken the last words, he, for some reason or other

looked around him. Maniloff also looked round, but for what reason he

did so, it is impossible to tell.

"How long, may I ask, if you please," continued Tchichikoff, "is it

since you last handed in to government the census of the population on

your estate?"

"Oh, if I recollect rightly, it is some time since;" replied Maniloff,

"but to tell the truth, I do not exactly remember when."

"And can you perhaps recollect if many of your serfs have died since?"

"I must confess I don't know!" said Maniloff with a little

embarrassment; "but I could question my steward about it. Hilloah!

Ivan! or some one else, call my steward, he ought to be here to-day."

Soon after, the manager of Maniloff's estate made his appearance.

He was a man under forty years of age, with a closely shaved head,

fashionably dressed, and evidently enjoying and spending a pleasant

existence; because his fat and rosy cheeks seemed to attest that he

was well familiar with the comforts of a soft mattress and downy

pillows. It was easy to see at a glance that he had accomplished his

aim in life, as is usual among men of his calling: early in youth he

was but an adopted orphan, charitably brought up in the family of

his present master, and instructed in a little reading and writing;

later he managed to marry the house-keeper--a favourite of her

ladyship's--contrived to become housekeeper himself, until ultimately

he got himself promoted to the rank of steward. And when he had become

the general manager of the estate, he did like other stewards do: he

frequented and connected himself only with the richer families in the

village, exacted more tribute from the poorer, rose at nine o'clock in

the morning, heated his samovar and took his tea comfortably.

"I say, my good fellow," Maniloff addressed himself to his humble

steward; "how many of my peasants have died since you sent the last

census to government?"

"Your glory wishes to know how many? Since then many have indeed died,"

replied the steward, whilst putting his hand before his mouth in lieu

of a shield, to screen a slight hiccup, which he was unable to repress.

"Yes, I must confess, I thought as much myself," added Maniloff;

"just so, a great many have died since." Hereupon he turned towards

Tchichikoff, and repeated again; "exactly so, a great many have died."

"But, about how many in number?" demanded again Tchichikoff.

"Yes, to be sure, how many in number? repeated Maniloff.

"Yes, your glory; but how could I fix upon the number? It is impossible

to say how many, no one has counted them," said the steward again, and

with increasing embarrassment.

"Just so," said Maniloff, whilst turning towards his guest; "I

anticipated as much; there was a great mortality during these latter

years; and I think it is difficult to say with any precision how many

have died."

"You had better number the dead, my good man;" Tchichikoff addressed

himself to the steward, "and make out a correct list of all, together

with their family and Christian names."

"Yes, to be sure," added Maniloff adopting the same positive tone of

voice as his guest: "and give their names carefully."

"It shall be done, your glory!" replied the steward, and left the room.

"But for what purpose do you want these particulars?" inquired

Maniloff, after the steward had left them.

This question seemed to embarrass his guest considerably; his face

flushed, his countenance betrayed uneasiness and was altogether

striking in its momentary change, and difficult to be described in

words. At last Maniloff was obliged to listen to one of the strangest

and most extraordinary proposals to which human ears were ever yet

fated to listen. "You wish to know for what purpose? The reasons

are the following: I should like to purchase some serfs--" said

Tchichikoff, whilst recovering gradually; but scarcely had he uttered

the last word, when he had a sudden attack of his cough, and did not,

of course, conclude the phrase.

"But allow me to ask you," continued Maniloff, "on what condition do

you wish to purchase peasants, is it together with the land they live

upon, or do you want them for colonisation elsewhere, that is to say,

without the land they live upon?"

"No, that is not exactly what I mean," replied Tchichikoff, after a

moment's hesitation, "what I wish to purchase, are dead serfs."

"What? pardon me--I am rather deaf in one ear, but it seemed to me as

if I had heard the strangest words that could possibly be spoken."

"Strange, perhaps," added Tchichikoff, more coolly than might have been

expected after his first agitation; "yes, my dear sir, I have a wish to

make the acquisition of the dead--who, however, must stand booked as

existing or living in the columns of the last governmental census."

CHAPTER XII.

When Maniloff was convinced that he had rightly heard and understood

what his friend had just spoken, he could not prevent his Turkish

pipe dropping upon the floor and opening his mouth and eyes as widely

as they would allow themselves to be opened; he remained passively

thus for a few seconds. Both friends, who, but shortly before, had

been familiarly discoursing on the pleasures of friendly life and

intercourse, were now sitting opposite one another immoveably, gazing

into each others eyes as if mesmerized, or like those portraits which

in olden times were hung on either side of the looking-glass.

At last Maniloff mustered animation again, picked up his pipe,

and, while doing this, he looked up seriously into the face of his

companion, striving to catch, if possible, a smile upon his lips, as if

to convince himself that all was but a jest; however, he could discover

nothing to confirm him in this hope; on the contrary, Tchichikoff's

face looked, if possible, more serious and composed than usual; at last

he thought it likely his guest might have become the victim of a fit of

insanity, and as this idea occurred to him he looked with the utmost

terror fixedly at him.

But no, Tchichikoff's eyes were perfectly calm and bright, there was

no wildness nor uneasiness in his glance, such as there would be

in the gaze of a madman; all his mental faculties seemed to enjoy

perfect health. Maniloff was at a loss what to imagine next, in order

to account for the strange words and intention he had heard; but he

could hit upon nothing to relieve him of his anxiety, except, letting

the tobacco smoke, which the sudden surprise had made him swallow,

unconsciously escape in thin wreaths.

"And thus then should I like to know if you would agree to part with

such of your serfs as are actually dead; that is to say, not actually

living, but nevertheless existing in a point of law; I am ready to make

such arrangements about them as would be most agreeable to you."

But Maniloff was still so much overwhelmed and confused, that he could

do nothing else but stare into the face of the speaker.

"You seem to feel embarrassed?" observed Tchichikoff, slowly.

"I?--no, not exactly," Maniloff at last murmured; "but I cannot

comprehend--excuse me--I did not of course enjoy such a brilliant

education, such a one--if I might express myself so--as is visible

in every one of your movements; I have no talent for choice

expressions--it might be also, that here--in this instance and in the

manner in which you have just now chosen to express yourself--that

there is something hidden--the meaning of which, I must confess, I

could not catch, and I must presume that you have chosen to express

yourself in this manner for the sake of a more select construction of

your phrase--"

"Oh no, my dear Sir, no," interrupted Tchichikoff, "not at all, my

proposal is like the phrase, pure and simple; I positively mean that

what I said, namely: I wish to possess such serfs as are positively

dead."

Maniloff was now actually lost in amazement; yet he felt that it

became incumbent on him to do or say something; but what was he to do,

what was he to say?--Heaven alone could inspire him. He finished at

last by allowing another cloud of tobacco smoke to escape, but not as

previously, out of his mouth, for this time the smoke evaporated from

his nostrils.

"And now, if you have no objection, we might at once come to an

understanding and proceed to draw up the contract of sale," said

Tchichikoff.

"What? a contract of sale, for the dead?"

"Oh, no, my dear Sir, no," replied Tchichikoff, with slight impatience.

"We shall write down, and presume them to be living, for such they

actually are represented to be in the last census of the whole

population of the Empire, and consequently, also in a point of law as

well I am accustomed never to make the slightest deviation from our

laws--either civil or military--though I have suffered much for this

principle when I was in actual service myself, and allow me to assure

you, my duty has always been a sacred obligation to me; the law--I

never deviate from it."

These last observations very much pleased Maniloff, and reassured him

considerably; but notwithstanding this assurance, it was impossible

for him to enter into the spirit of the business proposed to him,

and instead of an answer, he began to smoke so fast, that the room

was soon filled with a dense fog, and the head of his pipe became so

heated, that it began to crackle like a hoarse bassoon. It seemed as

if he wished to inhale from his pipe an opinion upon the unprecedented

project of his guest; but to no purpose, his pipe continued its

crackling noise as before.

"You have, perhaps, your doubts on the subject?" said Tchichikoff.

"Oh! I can assure you, not the least," rejoined Maniloff. "Do not

think for a moment that I could have the slightest reason to form any

critical opinion as regards yourself. But allow me to ask you, will

this speculation, or, in order to explain myself more distinctly--this

negotiation--yes, will this negotiation not be in contravention to the

civil laws and the future views and welfare of the Russian Empire?"

After having spoken thus, Maniloff made a few peculiar movements with

his head, and looked steadfastly into Tchichikoff's face, showing

in all the lineaments of his features, and in his compressed lips,

such an undefinable expression, as perhaps never was beheld on a

human face before; and if such an expression could find its equal, it

could, perhaps, only be seen on the faces of those clever statesmen

of all nations, who at the present day are discussing the political

differences between Russia and Turkey.

Tchichikoff, however, answered simply, that such a speculation, or

negotiation, would in no ways be in contravention with the civil or

military laws of the country, and the future welfare of Russia; and a

moment later he added, that on the contrary, the government would even

derive an advantage, because it would receive the payment of the lawful

capitation tax.

"Well, then, you think that--?"

"I am of opinion that all will be right and and well," said Tchichikoff

again.

"Ah, if it is all right, then it is altogether a different thing; then

I can have no objection whatever," said Maniloff, and recovered even so

far as to assume his usual smile.

"Now we shall only have to fix upon a price--"

"How--a price?" said Maniloff with a new air of surprise, and stopped

short for a while. "Is it possible that you could think that I would

take money for such serfs, who, in some respects have already ceased

to exist, and consequently, have become valueless to me? No, since you

have a strange fancy for them, or, if I might use the expression, a

phantastical wish for them, I am quite agreeable to deliver them up to

you gratuitously, and am even ready to pay the expense of the contract

of sale, in order to be agreeable to you."

We should deem it the greatest act of negligence on our part, if

we were to omit mentioning in the narrative of these events, that

the words thus spoken by Maniloff had the effect of diffusing an

extraordinary amount of gratification over the countenance of his

guest. However circumspect, self-possessed and prudent Tchichikoff

habitually was, yet in this instance he had every difficulty in

mastering a feeling which nearly made him jump from his seat like a

goat, and such an attempt could certainly only be caused by an excess

of joy. He turned so suddenly in his arm-chair that the woollen

covering of the pillow was torn in consequence; even Maniloff could

not help looking at him with some fresh bewilderment. Impelled by

gratitude, he gave so many thanks, that the donor of the gift could not

help blushing deeply, made a negative movement with his head, and then

only found words to say, that, what he gave was a mere trifle.

"Not at all a trifle," replied Tchichikoff, warmly pressing the donor's

hand.

Here a deep sigh was also allowed to escape from his broad chest,

and it seemed as if this sigh was full of the warm effusions of his

feeling heart; not without some feeling and expression in his language

Tchichikoff, continued in the following words:

"If you knew, my dear Sir, what a favour you have granted me by this

apparently trifling obligation.... to me, a man without name or

fame.... Yes, truly, how much have I not suffered? like a bark amidst

the boisterous waves of the agitated ocean.... What tribulations, what

persecutions have I not experienced, and how many and bitter were the

sorrows that I have tasted! but why? would you perhaps ask me? Because

I always watched over truth, because I kept my conscience pure, my

honour intact; because I stretched forth my hand to assist the mourning

widow, and shielded the deserted orphan!"

Hereupon Tchichikoff could not help arresting the progress of a falling

tear with his pocket-handkerchief.

Maniloff, too, was nearly moved to tears on hearing this eloquent

language. Both friends pressed each other's hands long and warmly,

and they looked long and silently into each other's eyes, in which a

few more tears might have been seen glittering. Maniloff seemed not

disposed to part with the hand of our hero, and continued to press it

so warmly, that the other did not know how to liberate it. At last he

succeeded in extricating it gently, and said that it would now be a

good thing to conclude the contract of sale at once, and that it would

be desirable that Maniloff should come for that purpose to town at his

earliest convenience. He then rose, took his hat, and began to bow a

farewell.

"What? are you going to leave us already?" said Maniloff, who had

scarcely recovered from his emotion before he was frightened again.

At that moment, Madame Maniloff entered her husband's study.

"Lisinka," Maniloff exclaimed, with a rather pitiable expression in

voice and countenance, "Pavel Ivanovitch wishes to leave us!"

"Because, perhaps, we do not entertain our guest well enough," remarked

Madame Maniloff.

"My lady, here," said Tchichikoff, "here, in this spot," saying these

words, he laid his hand upon his heart, and continued: "Yes, here shall

for ever remain the recollection of the pleasant moments I have passed

in your company; and believe me, there would be no greater felicity for

me in this world, than to live--if not in the same house with you, at

least in your immediate neighbourhood."

"Ah! my dear Pavel Ivanovitch," said Maniloff, whom this idea on the

part of his friend seemed rather to please, "that would really be

excellent, delicious, if we could live together under the same roof,

or under the shadow of the same poplar, and philosophise on some

subject, or launch ourselves into--"

"Oh, that would be like living in Paradise!" exclaimed Tchichikoff with

a sigh. "Farewell, my lady!" continued he, whilst pressing his lips

upon the hand of Madame Maniloff; "farewell, most esteemable friend!

Pray do not forget our little business!"

"Oh, be sure of it!" replied Maniloff. "I do not bid you farewell for

more than two days at the most."

All three entered again the reception-room.

"Farewell, my pretty little darlings!" exclaimed Tchichikoff, when he

beheld Alcides and Themistocles once more, who were engaged playing

with a wooden dragoon, who thanks to them, had already lost his hands

and nose.

"Farewell, my little pets, you must excuse me this time for not having

brought you something, because, I must confess, I was not aware of your

existence; but, the next time I come, you may depend upon it, I shall

surprise you with something nice to play with. To you I will bring a

sword; would you like to have a sword? eh--"

"Oh, yes," replied Themistocles.

"And you shall have a drum; I know you would like to have a drum--eh?"

he continued, bending down to Alcides.

"Drum--bum--bum," answered Alcides, as if he had it already.

"Very well then, I will bring you a drum, it shall be such a nice

drum, that you will be able to play any tune upon it, and then you may

turrrr-rurrr-rurrr and tratata upon it as long as you like. Farewell my

little darlings! farewell!"

Hereupon he kissed the little boy upon the head, and turned with a

smile towards Maniloff and his wife, with a smile like that usually

assumed by persons who wish to convey to loving parents the innocent

wishes of their children.

"Pray, dear Pavel Ivanovitch," said Maniloff, when all had already

passed through the entrance, "pray, stay with us, look at the dark

clouds around."

"These are but a trifle, they do not alarm an old traveller like

myself," replied Tchichikoff.

"But do you know the road to Sobakevitch's estate?"

"Indeed, no, I was about asking you that question."

"Allow me then, I will immediately explain it to your coachman."

Hereupon Maniloff very civilly explained to Selifan where he would have

to drive his master to. The coachman finally understood, that he would

have to pass two turnings and take the third, then took off his hat and

exclaimed; "Thanks to your glory and long health!"

Tchichikoff drove off, and was saluted with wavings of

pocket-handkerchiefs by his amiable hosts until they were out of sight.

Maniloff continued to stand and linger upon the stone steps before his

house for some considerable time, and followed with his eyes the now

fast disappearing britchka, and when he had already completely lost

sight of it, he still continued to gaze into the distance and smoke his

pipe. At last he entered the house and went into his own room, where he

seated himself upon a chair opposite to the seat occupied previously

by his guest; he began to give way to reflections, and was heartily

rejoiced that he had had an opportunity of having been agreeable to his

new acquaintance.

After having thus meditated for some time, his thoughts began to wander

upon some other subject, until at last he lost himself, heaven knows

in what reflections. He also thought of the blessings of friendly

intimacy; he began to imagine, how pleasant it would be to live

together with a faithful friend on the banks of some silvery stream; he

then began to construct a stone bridge across his imaginary river, and

concluded by building a splendid castle in the Spanish style, so high

and beautiful, that he could behold Moscow the Holy from its turrets;

nor did he forget either to imagine a magnificent Venetian balcony,

where he beheld himself and his bosom friend, comfortably taking tea in

the evening, and smoking real Turkey whilst having a pleasant argument.

He continued to imagine, that he and Tchichikoff received an invitation

to an evening party from some high functionary, and that they drove up

to his house in a splendid carriage and four, that they were received

in the best company; and finally, that one of the imperial ministers

(of the foreign cabinet,) being informed of the exemplary friendship

existing between the two friends, informed his Majesty the Emperor of

its existence, and that they were promoted to the rank of generals

in consequence. Thus he continued to dream on, until at last he lost

himself again in his _châteaux d'Espagne_.

But suddenly he recovered his consciousness, thanks to the

extraordinary application of his friend Tchichikoff, which he could not

forget on any account; though it was of no use for him to think and

study the nature and purpose of this strange whim of his friend, for he

could not, either explain to himself the object, nor find the solution

of this extraordinary negotiation as he still termed it, in his own

mind. Thus he continued to sit in the same chair and smoke his pipe

until he was called to supper, and went to bed at a late hour.

CHAPTER XIII.

Tchichikoff was reclining comfortably, and in an excellent temper

of mind in his britchka, which was now rolling rapidly along the

high road. In the preceding chapters a little something has already

transpired with reference to what his principal object consisted in,

what his taste and inclination were, and for that reason it cannot be

surprising that he, soon after his departure from Maniloff's house,

plunged body and soul into a reverie upon what had passed between

himself and his new friend.

Supposition, circumspection, anticipation seemed in turn to occupy his

mind; and his speculations must have been of a pleasant nature, for

his face betrayed it; and he seemed, as it were, to smile inwardly.

Thus engrossed with his own thoughts, he did not pay the slightest

attention to his coachman Selifan, who in his turn and in consequence

of the excellent reception which he had met with among Maniloff's

servants, was engaged in giving a lecture peculiar to himself, to the

tiger-spotted outside horse, the reins of which he held fast in his

right hand.

This tiger-spotted horse, as he used to call it, was, in his opinion

a very sly and vicious animal indeed, for it only pretended to pull

as hard as its two helpmates, whilst the brown insider or leader, who

was of a more straightforward disposition, was doing his work most

heartily. The natural fondness of Russian coachmen for their horses,

goes frequently so far that they will speak to them as if to rational

beings, and such a discourse, if it may be called so, took place

between Selifan and his three horses that were attached before the

britchka.

"Oh, you artful scamp; but wait a moment, I'll dodge you!" said

Selifan, rising slightly upon his seat and giving a smack with his whip

to the idler. "I'll teach you what your duty is, you German pantaloon.

The brown one is a respectable horse, for he is doing his work like a

horse, and I shall give him with pleasure an extra measure, because

he is an honourable horse, and so is the leader too. Na, nuh! you are

shaking your head, are you? You are a fool; listen, I'll tell you, when

you are spoken to! for I shall not teach you anything that is wrong,

you Master Careless! Look up! where you are going!"

Here he gave him another hearty correction with his whip and added:

"Oh, you robber of a horse!" After this he indulged all three with

a shout as the Jamtchicks are accustomed to do. "Halloah yo, my

darlings!" and laid the whip gently across their shoulders, but not

with a feeling of anger, but by way of encouragement, as if satisfied

with all three. Having thus shown them a little of his approbation, he

again addressed his observations to the tiger-spotted idler.

"No, my fine fellow, you must be steady if you wish the world to

acknowledge your merits. Look you here and listen; at the gentleman's

house where we have been, there are some worthy people, and such

persons I like to speak to and have some intercourse with; because

everyone likes to be on friendly terms with good people. I had tea with

them and ate and drank many a good thing there, because it gives me

pleasure to do so among worthy people. A virtuous man meets with due

respect everywhere. Look for an example at our master, he is esteemed

by everybody; because, now, will you listen? because he served his

country and the Emperor well, and is now a Councillor of State in

consequence."

Thus reasoning, Selifan lost himself at last in the most abstract

arguments. And if Tchichikoff had been listening he might have heard

the most curious and interesting observations concerning himself

personally; but his thoughts were so much occupied with his own

projects, that a sudden, and loud clap of thunder alone could awake him

to the scene around him, and cause him to look up again at the exterior

world; the sky was covered with heavy dark clouds in all directions,

and the dusty high road became sprinkled with heavy rain-drops. Soon

after the thunder-peals were more frequent, they grew louder and

nearer, and at last the rain came down as if out of a bucket.

At first the rain came sideways, and fell heavily on the left flank

of the britchka, then it changed suddenly and washed its other side,

until at last it began to fall horizontally upon the leathern roof of

the carriage and continued to drum upon it with renewed power, and the

drops at last reached even the face of our traveller. This induced him

to draw down the leathern blind with its round glass holes, through

which he began to examine the scenes around him and give the order

to Selifan to drive quicker. Selifan also, had been unpleasantly

interrupted in the midst of his reflections, and without losing an

instant he produced from under his seat a something in the shape of a

miserable-looking grey cloth cloak into the tattered sleeves of which

he slipped his arms as speedily as the numerous holes would allow

him to do, and then snatching up again the reins, he used once more

his whip; and his troika sped on again with fresh vigour, as if the

rain as well as Selifan's mode of encouraging them had had the most

invigorating effects upon the horses.

As for Selifan, he could not for the life of him remember whether he

had passed the second or the third turning. Imagining a great deal and

recollecting a little of the road he had just passed, he guessed that

he had already left many a turning on either side of the road behind

him. Thus then like many Russians, never at a loss for imagination

what to do next in a decisive moment, and without venturing into long

speculations, he took the first turning to his right and shouting

again: "halloah yo, my darlings!" he drove his horses into a full

gallop, never caring for a moment, whither this road may lead him next.

The rain seemed to have set in with the appearance to last for

sometime. The dust of the high-road was now converted into a thick

paste of mud, and with every moment it became more difficult for the

horses to pull through it. Tchichikoff already began to feel uneasy at

not seeing anything yet of Sobakevitch's estate, for, according to his

calculations, they ought to have been there long ago. He tried again

to look through the glass holes of his leather curtains; but to no

purpose, it seemed as if an Egyptian darkness surrounded them.

"Selifan!" he at last shouted and popped his head out through the

curtain.

"What does your glory wish?" replied Selifan.

"Look about you, don't you see the village yet?"

"No, your glory, I cannot see it anywhere." After having spoken thus,

Selifan belaboured his horses once more and began a song--no, rather

a tune, like the "Lieder ohne Worte" of Mendelsohn Bartholdy--without

an end. In this tune were comprised all the sounds of approbation and

reproach addressed to all the horses by their drivers, throughout the

vast expanse of the Russian Empire, from one extremity to the other;

suitable under all circumstances just as it comes to the mind and upon

the tongue, naturally, without choice or preparation.

Meanwhile, Tchichikoff began to feel that his britchka was balancing

about on all sides, and dealt him many an unpleasant shaking and severe

knocks; these unpleasant sensations brought him to the conclusion that

they must have deviated from the high-road, and were now driving over

some uneven field. Selifan seemed also to be under the same impression,

however, he did not say a word about it.

"You blunderbuss, upon what road are you driving me now?" Tchichikoff

inquired angrily.

"What am I to do, your glory! it is so very dark, indeed, I cannot even

see my whip!" Saying this, he drove the britchka so carelessly that it

was nearly upset from the sudden shock, and Tchichikoff was obliged to

cling with both hands to his seat. Then, and not till then, it was that

he conjectured his coachman Selifan was not sober.

"Stop, stop, you will upset me!" he cried out to him.

"Oh, no, your glory! how could I? how could I upset your honour?" said

Selifan. "It is a bad thing to be upset, I know it well myself; how

could I therefore upset you, I certainly shall not upset you." Hereupon

he began cautiously to turn the britchka round and round again, until

he had at last succeeded in turning it all upon one side. Tchichikoff

fell out of his carriage and lay there with his hands and feet deeply

imbedded in the mud. Selifan had, however, succeeded in stopping his

troika, though the horses would have done so, no doubt, from their own

accord, for they seemed very much exhausted.

Such an unexpected mishap had completely bewildered him; he crept down

from his seat and posted himself before the britchka, with both his

hands firmly fixed on his sides, whilst his master was still trying

to raise himself up again upon his legs; thus glancing for a moment

upon his master and the carriage before him he added with an air of

incredible surprise: "And I have upset him!"

"You are as drunk as a trooper!" exclaimed Tchichikoff.

"Oh, no, your glory! how could I be drunk? I know it is a bad thing to

be drunk, I have been talking to some friends, that is true; but then,

it is a good thing to speak to worthy men, in that there can be no

harm. I must confess we had a bit and a sup, but then there can be no

harm in having something to eat and drink with worthy people."

"But what did I tell you the last time you got drunk--eh? Have you

forgotten it?" inquired Tchichikoff.

"Oh, no, your glory! how could I have forgotten what you told me I

know my duty well. I know, it is bad to get drunk. I have only been

speaking to some worthy friends, because I--"

"Only wait until you get a good thrashing again," interrupted

Tchichikoff; "and then you will know what it is to speak to worthy

people."

"Just as it may please your glory!" replied Selifan, with an air of

resignation, "if I am to have a thrashing, I must, have it; I shall

not escape it. And why should I not be punished if it is my fault, you

as my master have a right to do so. It is also necessary that mouzhiks

should be punished, now and then, to keep them in subordination and

good order. If it is my own fault, then it is but just that I should be

punished; and why should I not receive a thrashing?"

To such logical reasoning, his lawful master could not possibly imagine

what he was to reply. But at that very moment also, it seemed as if

Providence itself had taken his pitiable position into commiseration.

In the distance the loud barking of dogs was audible. Tchichikoff,

overjoyed, gave immediate instructions to his coachman that he should

drive on at full speed. A Russian driver has often an excellent sense

of presentiment instead of the sense of sight; for that reason it

often happens that he will close his eyes, drive on full gallop, and

yet arrive somewhere. Selifan, without hearing or seeing anything, had

nevertheless succeeded in guiding his horses upon a road which led them

straight into the village; and they stopped only then, when the horses

and britchka came violently in contact with the gates of a house, and

when it was already impossible to drive on any further.

All that Tchichikoff could perceive through the dark flood of rain was

the roof of a house; he immediately ordered Selifan to go and find out

the gates, which, no doubt, would have taken him a considerable time,

if in Russia we had not excellent country dogs, instead of drowsy

porters, who, in this instance, announced the arrival of our strangers

so loudly, that Selifan himself was obliged to stop up both his ears.

A light began to dawn in one of the windows and threw a foggy glimmer

straight in the direction of our travellers, who were able to find the

gates at last.

Selifan began to knock, and soon after a small gate was opened

through which the head of a figure wrapped in a sheep-skin made its

appearance, and master and servant were obliged to listen to a woman's

creaking voice, uttering the question of: "Who is there? and why are

you making all this noise?"

"We are travellers, my good woman, allow us to pass the night here,"

Tchichikoff pronounced in a faint voice.

"What hurried travellers you seem to be, for look here at the time of

night!" the old woman again said, "besides, this is not an inn, a noble

lady resides here."

"What are we to do, good mother--you perceive we have lost our way; and

surely you cannot expect us to sleep on the steps."

"Yes, the night is dark, and the rain is pouring down in torrents,"

added Selifan.

"Be silent, you fool," said Tchichikoff.

"But who are you?" demanded the old woman.

"I am, a nobleman, good woman."

The word, nobleman, seemed to startle the old woman, and make her

reflect. "Wait a little, I'll go and tell her ladyship," the old female

muttered, and in a few minutes later she made her appearance, again,

with a lantern in her hands. The gates were thrown open. A light even

began to glitter in another window.

The britchka entered the court-yard, and stopped before a small house,

which it was impossible to examine more particularly on account of the

utter darkness around it. Only one portion of it was dimly illumined

by the light proceeding from the window, a puddle formed by the heavy

rain and flowing rapidly along before the house, was also visible in

the same light. The rain pattered noisily upon the wooden roof, and

streamed in loud jets into a large water-tub. Meanwhile, the house dogs

joined into a loud discordant howling; the one threw his head back and

set up such a long and plaintive howl, as if he were, Heaven knows

generously paid for it; another replied to the first in a particular

hoarse voice, as if he had already done his best in the concert;

whilst a third joined them with a shrill ringing tone, not unlike a

post-horse bell; it seemed to be the tenor voice of a juvenile dog; and

all their canine voices were drowned at intervals by a deep base bark,

undoubtedly a paternal barker, provided with an inexhaustible doggish

nature, because he rattled away his tune in such a determined manner,

that it would forcibly remind one of a counter-bass voice in a concert,

when in the full tide of tone, the tenor raising himself on tip-toes,

impelled by a strong desire to sing forth his highest note, and all in

fact raise themselves, and their voice as high as possible. At such

decisive moments, whilst they throw their heads back, the tenor alone

will be sometimes original, and hide his unshaved chin in his white

neck-cloth, sit down, or bend forward nearly to the ground, and yet send

forth from his hiding place, his note, as loud and audible as to shake

the very windows of the concert-room.

From the simple barking of these canine musicians, it was easy to

surmise that the village must have been something extraordinary, too;

but our wet and frozen hero thought for that moment of nothing else

but a warm bed. The britchka had had scarcely time to stop before the

entrance of the house, when he already hastened to alight, and jumped

cleverly upon the landing, gave himself a considerable shaking, and

nearly fell the to ground.

CHAPTER XIV.

Another woman, rather younger, but very much like the first in

appearance, now made her exit from the house upon the landing-steps

before it. She led the stranger into the house, and then into a

room. Tchichikoff cast two hasty glances around him whilst entering;

the apartment was decorated with old and old-fashioned striped

paper-hangings. Between the windows there were some pictures

representing various species of birds; small rococo-fashioned

looking-glasses, with dark frames, in the shape of curled leaves were

suspended in a great variety around on the walls; behind each of them,

or rather in the frames, were placed, either letters, an old pack

of cards, or a stocking; an old clock with Roman figures, intermixed

with flowers, also hung on the wall and was ticking loudly. It was

impossible to notice more with two glances only.

Besides Tchichikoff felt as if some one had besmeared his eyes with

honey, for he had the greatest difficulty in keeping them open. A few

minutes later, and the lady of the house made her appearance. She was

an elderly person, and entered with a species of nightcap and a flannel

hurriedly thrown round her neck. She was one of those noble ladies who

reside on their estates, because she was not rich enough in her opinion

to live in town--one of those old women who continually complain of bad

harvests and severe losses in their household, and who have the habit

of keeping their heads bent on one side, whilst they meanwhile know how

to heap money into narrow bags, and hide them in all the drawers and

upon all the shelves available. In one of these little bags, they will

keep nothing else but the shiny silver roubles, in another only the

half-roubles, in a third again a few golden imperials, and so on till

they have a whole collection of all the coins of the Empire.

At first sight, it would seem that these drawers contain nothing

else but articles of wardrobe, such as night-caps, stockings, linen,

night-gowns, reals of cotton, old silken cloaks cut up for the purpose

of being transformed into a gown, as soon as the one in use is worn out

or burnt somewhere at the elbow, whilst the old lady was superintending

the baking and cooking of holiday pastries. But they are too careful;

the old gown does not run with them the risk of being burnt or worn

out at the elbows, or anywhere else so soon; and the careful old lady

generally leaves the cut up silken cloak for some smiling niece or

widow-sister, together with her little bags containing the collection

of all these precious coins as well as her night-caps, sacks and

cottons.

Tchichikoff apologised, and begged to be excused for arriving so late

at night.

"Never mind, never mind," said the old lady; "in what wretched weather

Heaven has brought you here! After such fatigues it would certainly be

desirable to eat and drink something warm, but it is so very late that

it will be quite impossible to prepare anything."

The last words of the matron were interrupted by such a strange,

hissing noise that her guest could not help feeling frightened; this

peculiar alarming sound resembled the hissing of serpents, which seemed

to have made a sudden appearance in the room; but on looking upwards,

Tchichikoff felt tranquilized, for he discovered that the antique dock

hanging on the wall was on the point of making an attempt to strike.

After this strange hissing, immediately a rattling, and at last, after

mustering all its mechanical strength, the clock succeeded in striking

two; but with such a sound, that it seemed as if some one was striking

with a stick against a broken saucepan. After this effort of the

time-piece, the pendulum again continued its usual monotonous tick-tack

as before mentioned.

Tchichikoff bowed courteously and thanked the old lady for what she

said, and begged to assure her that he wanted nothing so much as a

bed, and was only anxious to know in what part of the country he was,

and how distant the estate of his friend Sobakevitch might be from her

estate. Upon this inquiry, the old lady replied, that she had never

heard of such a name, and that she was of opinion that such a person

was not to be found anywhere around in her neighbourhood.

"The name of the landowner Maniloff is perhaps better known to you?"

Tchichikoff remarked.

"And who is Maniloff?"

"An owner of some extensive estates, my good Madam."

"No, I have not heard of such a name either--he does not live here

about."

"And pray, what country gentlemen have you in your neighbourhood?"

"We have Bobroff, Svinin, Kanapatieff, Harpakin, Trepakin, Pleschakoff,

Senunoff--" "And pray, Madam," Tchichikoff interrupted her quickly,

anxious to avoid the recitation of a catalogue of names, "are they rich

and wealthy?"

"No, my dear Sir, there are but few rich or wealthy among them. Some

of them have about twenty to thirty, others again from forty to fifty

serfs; but of those who possess about four hundred peasants there are

very few."

Tchichikoff perceived at once that he had arrived into a quite

out-of-the-way neighbourhood.

"How far am I from town my good lady?"

"About sixty wersts. How sorry I am, to be sure, that I have nothing

eatable to lay before you; would you perhaps like to take a cup of tea?"

"I am very much obliged to you indeed, but at the present moment I wish

for nothing else but a bed."

"You are right, after such an unpleasant journey, nothing could be

more desirable, I therefore invite you, my good Sir, to make yourself

as comfortable as possible upon this sofa. Fetinia, bring a feather

mattress, a pillow, and some blankets. In what awful weather providence

has been pleased to send you to me! What a thunder-storm! I have kept

my candle burning all night long before the image of my patron-saint.

But, my good Sir, you are covered with mud like a wild hoar all over

your back and left side! Where have you been pray, to appear in such a

disorderly state?"

"Thank heaven that I am only besmeared and that my sides are whole."

"Oh ye, my good saints, what horrors! But do you not want something to

rub your back with?"

"I thank you, my good lady, I thank you very much indeed; but pray do

not incommode yourself any further on my account, I shall only ask you

to tell your maid to dry and clean my coat to-morrow."

"Do you hear, Fetinia?" said the old lady, turning to the younger

woman, who entered the room that moment with a candle in her hand,

and who had already previously brought in the things her mistress

had ordered. She was now in the act of heating up with both hands an

enormous feather-bed, which, in consequence of being thus handled, sent

forth a cloud of down, which instantly filled the room. "You must take

that gentleman's clothes to-morrow morning, and dry them well before

the fire, as you did with those of your late master, and then rub the

mud out carefully, and clean them properly."

"Very well, my lady!" answered Fetinia, whilst spreading the blankets

over the mattress, and pulling the pillow on the bed.

"Now, Sir, your bed is ready," said the old matron, after having cast

a careful glance over it. "Farewell, my good Sir, I wish you a pleasant

night and rest. But is there, perhaps, anything you would wish for yet?

You might perhaps be accustomed, my good gentleman, or like to have

your feet scratched by somebody. My late husband would never go to deep

unless this was done to him."

But her guest was so rude as to decline having his feet tickled. The

old lady retired, and Tchichikoff began to undress himself immediately,

handing over to Fetinia all that he stripped himself of, and it

consisted of every article of clothing; Fetinia, after having wished

him a good night's rest in her turn, took the wet paraphernalia of our

hero and retired also, closing the door after her.

When Tchichikoff was thus left alone, he looked, not without a great

deal of satisfaction, upon his couch, which nearly reached to the

ceiling; Fetinia seemed to be a clever hand at beating up a feather

mattress. He approached his bed and got upon a chair close to it, from

this he precipitated himself into it, and felt descending to the floor;

the sudden pressure of his body upon the mattress had the effect of

sending forth again a new volley of down, which filled every corner of

the small room.

After having blown out his candle, Tchichikoff rolled himself up in

his blankets like a newborn child is wrapped up in its linen, and fell

immediately fast asleep. He awoke the next morning at a very late hour;

the sun was shining through his window straight into his face, and the

flies, which the previous night had slept quietly in their corners on

the walls and ceiling, now began to turn all their attention upon our

hero; one of them took its seat upon his lips, another upon his ear,

and a third Seemed to study how it could manage to gain footing upon

his eye, but those which had had the imprudence to come too close to

his nose, became the victims of their own folly, for he inhaled them

whilst taking breath, unconsciously, in his somnolent state, and this

operation upon the flies made him sneeze; this circumstance was also

the cause of his suddenly awaking.

On casting a glance around the room, he now observed, that all the

paintings did not represent birds as he thought on the previous

evening; among them was a portrait of Prince Paskievitch, and another

oil-painting representing an old man, in a military frock-coat with

red sleeves; a costume as worn during the reign of the late eccentric

Emperor, Paul the First. The dock began again its unpleasant serpentine

clatter and struck ten broken kettle strokes; a woman's face peeped

through the half-opened door, but withdrew immediately, for it seemed

that Tchichikoff had thrown off his blankets during the night, in the

hope of sleeping better no doubt. It seemed to him as if the head that

had been just peeping into the room was familiar to him. He began to

collect his thoughts; on asking himself the question, who it might

have been, at last he recollected that it must have been the old lady

and proprietress of the house. He put on his shirt, his clothes were

already dried and cleaned, and were lying close to his bed. When he

was dressed, he stepped before the looking-glass and sneezed again

so loudly, that a turkey-cock, which was just then passing under his

window, which was very low, on the ground-floor, began to roll his

voice like a drummer, as is customary among these original birds, no

doubt wishing Tchichikoff a good morning in his own fashion, upon which

the poor animal was called a fool by our hero.

This salutation, however, brought Tchichikoff close to the window, and

he began to examine the scene before him. The window opened to all

appearance upon nothing else but a poultry-yard; at least, what he

beheld before his sight was a narrow court, filled with a numerous

variety of domestic birds. Turkey-cocks and fowls seemed numberless; in

the midst of them a common house-cock was walking proudly up and down

with measured steps, shaking his comb fiercely and leaning his head on

one side, as if he was listening to something, a pig and her offspring

also made themselves conspicuous; they were all digging with their

snouts in a heap of cinders, meanwhile, the mother caught hold of a

young chicken and ate it up quite accidentally whilst grunting with a

degree of satisfaction at the tender morsel; then she continued to dig

on again as before, and as if nothing at all unusual had happened.

This narrow court or poultry-yard, was separated by a wooden wall,

beyond which extended some large fields, where cabbage, onions,

potatoes, carrots, and many other household vegetables were growing

in great abundance. In the midst of this orchard and in a great

confusion, grew scattered here and there some apple, cherry, plum, and

other fruit trees and shrubs, all covered over with nets, to protect

them from the depredations of sparrows and other birds. There was a

swarm of the former flying about from one spot to another. To keep

these daring enemies of the orchard more effectually from plundering

the fruit trees and vegetables, there were several guys in different

places with outstretched arms; upon the head of one of them and in

order to make him the more frightful-looking, a nightcap of the old

lady had been placed.

Beyond the orchard, were several corn-fields, flanked by the huts

of her ladyship's peasants, which, although built irregularly, and

not in straight lines or streets, seemed, nevertheless, to confirm

Tchichikoff's opinion that the old lady was rather comfortably

circumstanced, because they were kept in good repair. The usual straw

roofs appeared all to have been recovered with fresh materials; the

gates and doors had their hinges in good repair, and such of the

stables and stalls which were open to his inspection, showed some new

and well-made carts and sledges. In some of them he could count two and

even three of each description.

"Well, I am sure, who would have thought that the village is not

so unimportant as one would believe it at first sight," murmured

Tchichikoff to himself, and thereupon he made up his mind to have a

conversation with the old lady, and try to make a better acquaintance

with her upon his all-engrossing subject.

CHAPTER XV.

Our hero now, in his turn, peeped through an aperture of the door

through which the old lady had popped her head a quarter of an hour

before, and perceiving her sitting before a small tea table, he entered

the room in a cheerful and flattering manner.

"Good morning, my dear Sir; how have you passed the night?" said the

old lady whilst slightly rising from her seat. She was better dressed

than on the previous night; she wore a black silk dress, and no longer

had the nightcap on her head, but still there was something twisted

round her neck.

"Very well, very well indeed," answered Tchichikoff, seating himself

in an arm-chair. "And how did you sleep, my dear Madam?"

"Not at all, my good Sir."

"And pray, what was the reason?"

"Indeed, I passed a sleepless night. My back and spine cause me great

pain, and my foot all above the ancle, the higher up the leg, the more

I suffer."

"It will pass over, I am sure it will, my dear good lady. Do not take

so much notice."

"I pray to God, it would pass over. I continually use some bears'

grease, as well as friction, with turpentine. But allow me to ask

you, what would you like to take with your tea? I have some very good

cherry-brandy in this small decanter."

"That will be very nice, my good lady, for I am very fond of

cherry-brandy."

My intelligent reader will already have observed, that Tchichikoff,

though polite, spoke nevertheless, with a rather civil familiarity,

when compared to his manners at Maniloff's house, in fact he stood on

no ceremony with the old lady, and made himself comfortable. Here I

might also be allowed to make the observation, that we other Russians,

though we might not, and cannot in many things rival our more western

friends, yet in what term the good manners and behaviour, we have

outdone by far the most civilized nations. It is quite impossible

to enumerate all the numerous shades and _finesses_ of our good

manners. An Englishman or a Frenchman can impossibly form an idea

or understand all the peculiarities and differences in our Russian

conduct. Englishmen or Frenchmen will speak with pretty nearly the same

tone of voice and courtesy to a _millionaire_ as they would employ to

a greengrocer, though within themselves they would or might give a

decided preference to the former.

But with us it is not so. We can boast of many clever persons who would

speak quite differently to a landed proprietor possessing two hundred

serfs than to one who owns three hundred peasants; and with him who

owns three hundred they would again not talk in the same tone of voice

as with the owner of five hundred; and with the proprietor who owns

five hundred again not so as with the owner of eight hundred; in a

word, you may increase by degrees the ownership to a million, and you

may yet depend upon still meeting with shades of differences in their

tone of voice as well as manners.

Let us suppose for a moment that we enter one of the numerous imperial

offices established for the administration of law and justice in

any of the more important towns of the Empire, and that such an

imperial office is presided over by a person called the Manager of

the Chancellerie. I would beg my courteous reader to muster courage

and look at that person at the moment when he is sitting in his place

surrounded by all his inferiors; you will be assailed by something more

than respect or fear, nay, I venture to say that you will be incapable

of pronouncing a syllable; for what pride or dignity does not his face

express? You could not do better than take up a brush and paint a

Prometheus--a real Prometheus! His glance is like that of an eagle! his

walk is easy and regular. And that very same proud eagle, as soon as he

leaves that same seat of his greatness to approach the cabinet of _his_

superior, becomes as alert as a long-legged snipe, and hurries with

his documents under his arm as if he was pursued by a hawk.

In society, and especially at evening parties, though Prometheus is not

of an exalted rank, yet he remains the same proud and conceited man;

but as soon as he happens to meet with some one higher in dignity, such

a metamorphosis takes place with our Prometheus, that even Ovid would

have had the greatest difficulty in describing him properly. He has

become a fly--no, even less than a fly--he has reduced himself to a

grain of sand!

But this is not my friend Ivan Petrovitch, you would say in looking at

him. Ivan Petrovitch is taller, and this is a little, sickly-looking

person; the other speaks in a loud bass voice, and is never wont to

smile, but this person warbles like a bird, and laughs continually. And

yet, if you go near and examine him closer, you will find it is your

friend Ivan Petrovitch. Aha! oho! will be your exclamation. However it

is time for us to return again to our _dramatis persona_.

Tchichikoff, as we have already perceived, had come to the resolution

of standing on no ceremony with the old lady, and, therefore, took up

a cup of tea, poured some of the cherry-brandy into it, and began the

following conversation with his hostess:

"You have a fine estate and village, my good lady. Pray, how many serfs

do you possess?"

"Well, my dear Sir, I have about eighty souls living in yonder

village," the matron answered; "but oh, misery! the times are bad, and

besides, I had a bad harvest last year; may the Lord have mercy upon

us!"

"However, to judge from appearances, your peasants look healthy, and

their huts are in good repair. But allow me to inquire your name?

Pardon me, I am so very absent--I arrived so very late at night--"

"My name is Korobotchka, I am the widow of the late Secretary of the

Manor."

"I am very much obliged to you for the information. And pray, what are

your Christian names?"

"Anastasia Petrovna, if you please."

"Anastasia Petrovna? a very fine name that of Anastasia Petrovna. I

have an aunt, a sister of my mother's, whose name is also Anastasia

Petrovna."

"And pray, what is your name?" inquired the widow of the late

Secretary. "You are, no doubt, as far as I can guess, one of our

district judges?"

"No, my good lady," replied Tchichikoff, smiling. "You have not guessed

rightly, for I am not a judge, but I travel for my own little affairs."

"Ah! then you must be a public contractor. How very much I regret now

that I sold my honey so cheap to those merchants; I am sure, my good

Sir, you would have bought the honey of me."

"Pardon me, but I think I should not have bought your honey."

"What else? Perhaps some flax? But alas! I have very little at the

present moment, perhaps not more than half a pud."

"No, my good lady, but I might buy perhaps some other kind of goods;

tell me, if you please, have many of your peasants died lately?"

"Oh, my dear Sir, I lost eighteen men!" said the matron, with a deep

sigh. "And it was a severe loss to me, for those who died were such

healthy and hard-working peasants. It is true, since they died others

again have been born; but what good are they as yet? they are all too

young. I had but recently a visit from the judge, who came to claim the

imperial capitation tax. Those eighteen are dead, and yet I have to pay

the tax upon them all the same till the next census is taken. Last week

a fire destroyed my smith, and that is again a severe loss, he was such

an ingenious artisan, for he could even do locksmith's work."

"So you have suffered from a fire? this is sad indeed, my good lady."

"May God preserve me from such a calamity! for a real fire would be

worse still; the smith burned himself to death, my good Sir. Somehow, a

fire took place within his own body; he had been drinking too much, for

a blue flame seemed to consume him, he smouldered, and became as black

as a coal; but you can have no idea what an ingenious workman he was;

and now I shall not be able to drive out at all, for I have no one to

shoe my horses."

"All calamities are the decrees of Providence, my dear lady,"

said Tchichikoff, with a sigh; "the wisdom of God is beyond our

understanding. You had better let me have them, my excellent Anastasia

Petrovna?"

"Whom, my dear Sir?"

"Well, all those that are dead."

"But how am I to let you have them?"

"My good lady, that is quite simple. Or, if you like it better, sell

them to me. I am even willing to pay you some money for them." "But how

is this? I really cannot understand you. Could you really intend to dig

them up again out of their graves?"

Tchichikoff now perceived that the matron had gone too far, and that it

became necessary to explain to her in what his proposal and business

were to consist. In a few words, he made her understand, that the

transfer, or sale, would only exist upon paper, and that her dead serfs

would be noted down in that document as existing, or, more properly

speaking, living.

"But pray, what do you want them for?" said the old lady, in opening

her eyes as wide as surprise would allow it.

"That is my business," replied Tchichikoff, drily.

"But they are positively dead, my good Sir!"

"And who says that they are living? Your loss consists in their being

dead; you have still to pay the capitation tax for them as regularly as

before, is it not so? Very well, then; I am ready to deliver you from

all further trouble and payment on their account. Do you comprehend

me now? I offer, not only to take them off your hands, but I am even

willing to pay you the amount of fifteen roubles. Now, I hope the

matter will be dear to you?"

"Really, I don't know," the old lady said, hesitatingly. "Because, I

never in my life sold any dead serfs before."

"What next, pray! This would be rather a wonder if you had sold any to

anybody before. Or do you imagine, perhaps, that there is really any

advantage to be derived from dead serfs?"

"No, that I do not believe. Of what use would they be? certainly of

none whatever. The only thing that embarrasses me is, that they are

really dead."

"Well, I am sure, this old woman seems to be of an obstinate

disposition," thought Tchichikoff. "Listen, my excellent lady. Pray,

reflect upon it seriously; you are ruining yourself. You have to pay a

tax for them as if they, were positively living."

"Oh, pray, my good Sir, do not mention it, even!" interrupted the

widow. "Only last week I took more than one hundred and fifty roubles

to the office of the Receiver-General And I had to bribe the judge

besides."

"There, then, don't you see it, my dear, good lady. Now, I beg you will

take into consideration and imagine that you will have no more occasion

to bribe either of the tax-gatherers, because I shall undertake to pay

for them; I, not you; I take all and every responsibility upon myself.

I am even disposed to defray the expense of the necessary contract of

sale; do you understand that?"

The old lady began to make her reflections. The proposed transaction

seemed to her to be a profitable one, with the exception, however, that

this was quite a novel and unheard-of business; and for that reason she

began to feel considerable apprehension lest this strange purchaser

might take some undue advantage of her. He arrived at her house without

a formal introduction, and Heaven only knew whence he came; besides, he

had made his appearance at so very late an hour of the night.

"Well, my good lady, does the offer suit you?" demanded Tchichikoff.

"Truly, my good Sir, but it has never happened to me to sell deceased

people. I have been in the habit of selling some of my living serfs,

and I remember now that I sold two pretty little girls, about three

years ago, to our pope, and he has been exceedingly pleased with them

ever since, for they have become very clever maids; they can weave

napkins and towels now most beautifully."

"There is no question about the living between us, God bless them. I

want your dead." "Really, I am rather fearful at my first trial in such

a business, lest I might suffer some severe loss in the transaction.

Pardon my candour, but you might wish to impose upon me, my good Sir,

and they--yes, they might be worth something more."

"Listen, good mother--how strange you are to be sure! can you think

them to be worth anything? Just oblige me by reflecting for a moment;

they are nothing else but dust. Do you understand me? they are simply

dust! Take for example the most trifling or the most worthless thing,

suppose even a dirty rag, and yet you will find that rag worth

something; that article will at least be bought at some paper-mills,

whilst what I want of you cannot be made use of in any way; now then,

pray tell me, of what use could they be to you?"

"My good Sir, you are right enough, they are of no value to me

whatever, and the only reason that makes me hesitate, is that they are

already dead."

"Oh, the blockhead of an old woman!" said Tchichikoff to himself,

whilst beginning to lose, by degrees, his wonted patience and

forbearance, "the devil may come to an understanding with her! I

feel the perspiration already running down my back, thanks to the

old she-dragon!" Whereupon he produced his pocket-handkerchief and

began to dry his forehead, which was really covered with heavy drops

of perspiration. However, Tchichikoff was wrong in getting into a

passion, for many another respectable and imperial person is as dull in

the comprehension of business matters as Lady Korobotchka appeared to

be, and may prove themselves and their heads as empty as a band-box;

whenever they take to an opinion, they will stick to it with an

obstinacy from which no argument, no proofs will ever dissuade them;

though they may be as bright as noon-day, they continue to recoil from

it, like an india-rubber ball will rebound when thrown against the wall.

After having wiped away the heavy dew-drops from his forehead,

Tchichikoff determined to try if he could not bring her upon the right

path by another way.

"My good lady," he said, "either you do not wish to understand me, or

you speak thus for the sake of speaking. I offer you money--fifteen

roubles in bank notes. Do you now understand me? This is a sum which

you will not pick up in the open street. Oblige me, and tell me

candidly, at what price did you sell your honey to those merchants?"

"At twelve roubles the pud."

"I fancy, my good lady, you are burthening your conscience with a

light sin; you could not have sold it at twelve roubles the pud."

"My patron saint is my witness that I did so."

"Very well then, I believe you, but mark me now! for that money you

had to give your honey; you perhaps spent a whole year in gathering

it, and perhaps with much care, trouble, and anxiety too; you have

been watching your bee-hives during the summer and have been obliged

to nurse them throughout our long winter months, whilst your dead

serfs are neither goods nor chatties of this world. With them you

had no cares, no troubles nor anxieties, and if they have left this

wicked world for a better one, it was by a decree of Providence that

you have sustained a loss in your household. Therefore, and as I have

said before, there you received those twelve roubles for your troubles,

whilst I am now offering you money for a mere nothing, and if you

please not twelve roubles but fifteen, and not in silver, but in three

beautiful new imperial bank notes."

CHAPTER XVI.

After such strong arguments as those with which we concluded the last

chapter, Tchichikoff could not doubt any longer that the old lady would

give way and consent to his proposal.

"Truly," replied the old matron, with an air of simplicity, "and

considering that I am a poor and inexperienced widow, who have no

regular insight into business matters, I think it will be better for me

not to be in a hurry in this bargain; I shall wait a little time, some

other purchaser may come, and, meanwhile I should be able to obtain

some information about the prices."

"For shame, for shame, my good lady! It's really a shame. What are you

speaking now, pray consider? Who ever will come upon the idea of buying

your dead serfs? What benefit could possibly be derived from them?"

"They might perhaps be turned to some account in a household--" replied

the old woman, but did not finish her phrase, but looked him into the

face as if frightened at the idea herself, and yet anxious to know what

he would say in reply.

"Turn the dead to account in a household! Wherever have you heard of

that before? Would you perhaps use them as guys in your orchards to

frighten the sparrows away?"

"The holy powers be with us! What strange language you douse to be

sure!" exclaimed the widow whilst crossing herself.

"Where else would you like to put them? however, I will leave you their

skeletons as well as their graves; I only want you to transfer them to

me on paper. Well then, what do you say? Will you agree? pray give me

an answer at least!"

The old lady began to reflect again.

"What are you thinking about, Anastasia Petrovna?"

"I really do not know what to decide upon, you had better buy some flax

of me."

"What am I to do with your flax? I am really surprised at you; I speak

to you of quite a different matter, and you want to stuff me with flax!

Everything in proper time, I will call at some other time, and then

I shall have no objection to deal with you for your flax. Now, then,

Anastasia Petrovna, how is it to be?"

"By my saints, the goods you want, are so very strange, so very

unusual!"

Here Tchichikoff outstepped the bounds of patience, and rising from his

chair, he upset it in his fury, and wished the old woman to the devil.

At the name of the devil, the old woman became unusually alarmed.

"Oh, pray do not mention him! the Lord preserve us!" she exclaimed,

whilst trembling violently with a pale face. "It is only three nights

ago since I dreamt of the evil one all night long. I happened to come

upon the idea of wishing to tell my own fortune by a pack of cards,

just shortly after I had said my evening prayers, and it seems that the

Lord has sent him out against me to punish me for my wickedness. Oh,

he was so frightfully ugly; and his horns seemed by far larger than

those of my oxen."

"I am only surprised that you don't dream of them by scores. Prompted

by a feeling of Christian humanity, I intended, on seeing a poor and

lonely widow striving against difficulties--no, I will not do it now,

and may what will become of you and of your whole village!"

"Oh, how you do swear, to be sure!" said the widow, whilst looking

terrified.

"But it is quite impossible to keep my temper with you. Without wishing

to give you offence, I cannot help quoting an old proverb, and compare

you to a farm-yard animal,--the species of which, out of respect

for you, I will forbear mentioning--lying on a hay-stack, not eating

itself, and preventing others from doing so. I should have liked to

purchase even some of your household produce, because I am in the habit

of contracting also for imperial supplies."

In saying this he slightly imposed upon the old lady; however, it

seemed to slip quite accidentally from his tongue, without any

premeditation; it served, however, to further his views, quite

unexpectedly. Contractors for the supply of the imperial army, the

sense which these words conveyed, had a very strong effect upon the

nervous system of Anastasia Petrovna, at least, it made her articulate

the following words in almost a nearly supplicating voice:

"But, my good Sir, what is the cause of your great anger and

impatience? If I had known beforehand that you were a gentleman of such

a hot temper, I would, of course, not have given you the slightest

provocation."

"I too have a reason to be angry with you? Bah, you are mistaken, the

thing is not worth an egg-shell, and wherefore should I lose my good

temper?"

"Very well, then, my good Sir, I am ready to let you have them for

fifteen roubles, in bank notes; but pray remember me in your contracts

of supply; if you should want to purchase some rye-flour, oatmeal, or

some wheat, and some cattle, then please do not forget to treat me as a

friend."

"I shall not take any advantage over you, my worthy woman," said

Tchichikoff; meanwhile he used his hand to wipe away the perspiration

from his forehead, which was running down his face in three large

streams. He inquired of her, if she had perchance, an agent in town,

or a friend whom she could intrust with the signature of the contract

of sale in her name, and any other authorization that might be deemed

necessary in the completion of the document.

"To be sure I have, the proto-pope's father, Kirilla's son, serves in

the very government office in which you will have to sign the papers,"

answered the widow. Tchichikoff asked her to address him a letter of

authorization, and in order to avoid her any further trouble, offered

to compose and write it out for her.

"It would be a good thing," thought Lady Korobotchka, "if he would

contract for some of my grains and cattle, I must try to please him

now: let me see? yes, there is some of yesterday's paste still left.

I'll go and tell Fetinia to make him some pancakes; it would be also

a good idea to bake him a sweet cake stuffed with eggs, I know they

bake it well in my house, and besides it will take but little time and

trouble."

The good old lady left the room with the intention of carrying out

her hospitable projects about the sweet egg cakes, to which no doubt

she meant to make the addition of a few more of the eatables that are

generally stored up in the household of Russian families living in the

country. Tchichikoff made use of this opportunity, and entered the

reception-room in which he had passed the night, with the intention

of taking the necessary writing materials from his dressing-case. The

reception-room was already swept, and in good order, the luxurious

feather-bed had been removed, a table was placed before the sofa, and

covered with a white cloth. After depositing his dressing-case upon the

table, Tchichikoff sat down to rest himself a little, because he felt

himself as wet from perspiration as if he had been plunged into the

river; every article of his dress, beginning from the shirt down to his

stockings, was ringing wet.

"Ough! how mercilessly the old tiger cat has treated me to be sure!"

said he, after taking breath again, and opening his dressing-case.

The author is of opinion, that there are a great many readers, who are

sufficiently inquisitive to wish to know something more about the

construction of the inner compartments of this dressing-case, made

in the French style by some Russian mechanic. If we are right, why

should we not gratify them? Here then is the interior arrangements:

in the centre, you may imagine you behold the shaving apparatus, such

as brushes and soap box, next to them, six or seven partitions for

razors; then on either side, a square opening for ink and sand-stands,

with a hollow or curved shelf for pens, pencils, sealing wax, and

all such things of longitude; then again a few more partitions, with

and without covers, for such articles as are of a shorter kind, and

they were filled with visiting cards, invitations to christenings and

funerals, playbills, and a variety of other small articles, which

he secured to keep as souvenirs. All this upper division, with its

various compartments could be taken out, and you would have seen a

space occupied by heaps of writing paper of all sizes, then followed

a small but hidden box of money, which was opened by a secret spring

fixed in the side of the case. He always had the habit of opening this

money-safe so hurriedly, that it was quite impossible to see how much

money he carried about with him when travelling. After having produced

the necessary material, Tchichikoff arranged his pen and began to

write. At that moment Lady Korobotchka entered the room.

"What a pretty dressing-case you have, my good Sir," said the widow to

him, whilst sitting down close to him. "No doubt you bought that pretty

box in Moscow?"

"Yes, my lady, in Moscow," answered Tchichikoff, continuing to write.

"Thought as much; for everything is well made there. About three years

ago, my sister bought some warm shoes for her children, and they were

so well made, that they have lasted them even till now; the material

is excellent in Moscow! Oh, ye saints, what a collection of stamped

papers you have there!" she continued, whilst casting a look into his

dressing-case.

And she was right, he had a large quantity of stamped paper.

"I wish you would make me a present, if but of a sheet! I am quite out

of it for the present; it might happen that I shall have to write a

petition, and have no suitable paper."

Tchichikoff explained to her that the paper was not of that

description, that it could only be used for the purpose of drawing up

contracts of sale, but not petitions. However, in order to quiet as

well as to please her, he presented her with an old sheet of trifling

value.

When he had written the letter he requested her to sign it, and

demanded at the same time a list of the names of those of her dead

serfs, as he was shortly about to consider as his property. It

appeared, however, that Lady Korobotchka was not in the habit of

keeping any accounts or lists, but could remember the name of everyone

by heart; Tchichikoff was, therefore, obliged to note them down as she

dictated their names in due rotation.

The names of a few of his future dependants did puzzle him

considerably, but much more so their surnames, which seemed to have

been given to them by their lawful mistress as distinguishing marks of

their various professions. After having taken down their names with

the different items, Tchichikoff stopped to take breath, and inhaled a

savoury perfume, like that of melted butter.

"Will you please to come and take a little luncheon now?" said his

amiable hostess.

Tchichikoff looked round, and saw the table covered with a variety of

good things, such as mushrooms, fish, pies, muffins, pancakes, to which

there was a variety of sweet and fat sauces, sauces mixed with sweet

onions, sauces mixed with poppy-seed, cream and butter sauces, sprat

and other small fish sauces.

"Pray taste this pie with egg and meat stuffing, first," said Lady

Korobotchka.

Tchichikoff seated himself at once to the strongly-recommended pie with

egg and meat stuffing, and after having eaten nearly the half of it,

he began to praise it very much. And indeed, the pie was really very

excellently prepared, and considering the bother he had to come to an

understanding with the old lady, it seemed particularly delicious.

"And now some pancakes or muffins, if you please?" said she again.

In reply to this, Tchichikoff rolled up three pancakes at once, and

after dipping them in the melted butter, he dispatched them into his

mouth, and wiped his greasy lips and hands upon the clean napkin.

After repeating this operation twice or three times, he begged his

hostess to order his horses to be put to his britchka. Anastasia

Petrovna immediately called her servant Fetinia, gave her the necessary

instructions, and ordered her at the same time to bring a fresh supply

of hot pancakes.

"Your pancakes are delicious, indeed," said Tchichikoff, whilst helping

himself freely to some more of the hot ones that were put before him.

"Yes, they bake them well at my house," replied his hostess; "it is

only a pity that we have such bad harvests, which makes the flour so

very dear. But why do you hurry yourself so much, my dear Sir?" she

said to Tchichikoff, when she saw him take up his travelling-cap, "your

carriage cannot yet be ready and waiting?"

"That will soon be done, my good lady. I keep my coachman always alive

to his duty."

"Well, then, pray do not forget me in your contracts for the imperial

supplies."

"I shall not forget you, my excellent lady, I shall not forget you,"

repeated Tchichikoff, whilst walking out of the house.

"Do you by chance buy pig's grease?" inquired the widow, whilst

following him from behind.

"Why should I not buy some? of course I do, but that will be at some

other time."

"I shall have some pig's grease to offer to you at Christmas."

"I will buy some of you, I will, indeed, I am ready to buy anything of

you later, even pig's grease."

"You may, perhaps, also like to buy some birds' feathers of all

descriptions of me. I shall have a quantity at Michaelmas next."

"Very well, very well, my good lady," answered Tchichikoff.

"There, you see, my good Sir, your britchka is not yet ready," said his

hostess, when they had arrived upon, the door-step.

"Oh, never mind, it will soon be ready. Pray tell me only how we shall

have to drive to come upon the high road?"

"How should I explain that to you? Let me see," said the old lady after

a moment's reflection; "it is rather difficult to describe because

there are so many turnings; perhaps I had better give you a little girl

to show you the road. I dare say you will have a small seat for her to

sit upon on your carriage?"

"Yes, to be sure I have."

"Very well, then, I will intrust you with one of my little girls; she

knows the road well enough, but look you here! do not decoy her, for

some of the merchants have already carried one of my girls off."

Tchichikoff promised her that he would not kidnap the girl, and Lady

Korobotchka, tranquillized by his assurance, began now to look around

her in the court-yard of the house; she fixed her eyes, first upon

the housekeeper, who was carrying across the court a large vessel

with honey, and then upon a peasant who made his appearance at the

gates, and by degrees the old lady was soon completely devoted to her

household concerns.

"Ah, here is my britchka at last," exclaimed Tchichikoff, as he saw his

carriage driving up. "Well, you idiot, what the deuce has kept you so

long? It seems the fumes of yesterday have not yet quite evaporated."

Selifan made no reply to this observation.

"Farewell, my excellent lady! But stop, where is your little girl?"

"Come here, Pelagey," said the widow addressing herself to a little

girl of about eleven years, who was standing close by, dressed in a

home-woven woollen frock, and with bare feet, which, at a distance

might have been mistaken for boots, so much they were besmeared with

fresh mud. "Go with this gentleman, and lead him upon the high road."

Selifan assisted her to get upon his seat, in doing this she put

one of her dirty feet upon the carriage steps, and after leaving a

mark behind, she at last took her seat next to Selifan. After he had

seen her safely seated, Tchichikoff in his turn put his foot upon

his carriage steps, and after making it visibly incline on the right

hand side--because he was rather weighty--he at last took his seat

comfortably, and said: "Oh! now I am all right! farewell, my good lady!"

The horses moved on, and the carriage left the court-yard. Selifan

was sulky during the whole journey, but at the same time very careful

and attentive in the observance of his duty as a driver, which always

happened when he had been negligent or drunk. His horses were exceeding

clean, as well as their harness and the britchka. The horse collar

of one of the three horses, which was usually put on its neck in so

dilapidated a state, that the hemp was visible under the leather,

was now cleverly sewn up. During the whole time he continued to

be speechless, and now and then only lifted his whip, but without

addressing any lecture to his tiger-spotted idler, who stood as much

as ever in want of a correction; however, the usually talkative

driver, held his reins loosely in his hand, and used the whip only

occasionally, and then only passed it across their backs as a matter

of form. Yet from his sulkily-compressed lips were heard at intervals

monosyllables of an ill-tempered meaning, such as, "Now then, now, you

raven! take care! speed on!" but nothing else.

Even the other side horse, as well as the leader seemed to feel some

discontent, when they heard nothing of that to which they had been

accustomed: either words of reproof or approbation. The tiger-spotted

idler seemed rather disgusted, because he felt the most unpleasant

touches tickling his fat sides.

"Now then, now then, what the deuce is the matter with him! he is

harder at me than ever!" thought the idler to himself, whilst pointing

his ears. "He knows where to hit, and no mistake! He won't beat me in a

straight-forward manner upon the back, but picks and chooses the most

sensible parts, he hits my ears, and keeps annoying my flanks."

"Is it to the right?" was the dry question which Selifan addressed to

the little girl sitting next to him, whilst pointing with his whip

towards a dark road, looming in the distance among some verdoyant com

fields.

"No, no, I will show you where," answered the little girl.

"Where is it?" demanded Selifan, after having driven for some distance.

"That is the road," replied the child, whilst pointing with her hand.

"Eh, you little stupid!" said Selifan; "that is to the right; she does

not even know what right and left means."

Although the day was fair, the road was wet and heavy, and so muddy,

that the wheels of the britchka were soon thickly covered with it,

which considerably increased the weight of the carriage; besides, the

soil was of a dayish nature and exceedingly sticky. This was the

chief cause that they could not reach the high road before mid-day.

Without the assistance of the little girl, they would not have been

able to progress so fast, because the narrow paths and turnings were

innumerable, and led in all directions, like captured lobsters when

thrown out of a bag, and Selifan, if alone, might have driven heaven

knows where. Soon after, the little girl pointed to some building at a

distance and said, "There is the high road!"

"And what are those buildings?" inquired Selifan.

"That is an inn," answered the child.

"Now we shall be able to find the road ourselves," said Selifan, "you

can be off home again." He stopped his horses, and helped her to get

down from his seat, murmuring through his teeth, "Eh, you little

black-leg!"

Tchichikoff gave her some coppers, the value of about a penny, and she

soon disappeared in one of the next turnings. The poor little child

seemed overjoyed, not so much about the trifle which she had received,

as from the pleasure she had enjoyed in sitting and riding in such a

beautiful carriage, drawn by such handsome horses.

CHAPTER XVI.

On arriving at the inn, Tchichikoff ordered his coachman to halt,

mainly for too reasons; on the one hand, he wished that his jaded

horses should have a little rest, and on the other, that he himself

should have something to eat, and recruit his exhausted strength.

The author must confess that he very much envies the appetite and

the stomach of such men as his hero. He entertains the greatest

indifference for all those gentlemen of the _haut ton_, who inhabit

either St. Petersburgh or Moscow, and who waste their time in anxiously

thinking about what they would like to eat to-morrow, and what dinner

they could imagine for the day after, and preparing themselves for

that dinner by undergoing the operation of swallowing a pill on the

evening previous; who gulp down oysters and devour lobsters, together

with a variety of other marine and land curiosities, and end by going

on a journey for health, either to Baden Baden, or the Caucasus.

No, these gentlemen have never had the good fortune to excite my envy;

but our men of the middle rank, who at one inn ask for cold ham, at

another for roast pork, and at a third for a tail, or a head of a

sturgeon, or a lump of smoked sausage with onions in it, and then,

without any further ceremony, at any hour of the day sit down to

table and eat and drink heartily, such men indeed enjoy the enviable

blessings of heaven, a sound stomach and a good appetite. I remember

many a gentleman belonging to, what we term in Russia, the _haut ton_,

who would have gladly parted with the half of his numerous serfs, and

the half of his mortgaged and non-mortgaged fortune, with all its

foreign and domestic improvements, on one condition, namely: that he

should receive in return, such a stomach and appetite as the gentlemen

of the middle rank possesses; but what a pity that no monetary

sacrifices, nor the gift of their estates with or without foreign

improvements will ever obtain them in return such a stomach as the

gentleman of the less exalted position can boast of.

The inn which received Tchichikoff under its hospitable wooden roof,

had an entrance verandah which rested upon four pillars, resembling

some old-fashioned church chandeliers; the aspect of the whole, was a

dark, smoky-looking structure, altogether, not unlike the miserable

huts of the peasantry, only in larger dimensions; the fresh workmanship

of the carved cornices which ornamented the windows, and the large

entrance door, formed a striking contrast with the dark walls of the

gloomy house, upon the shutters of which a variety of flower-pots were

painted upon, what was once, a sky-blue ground.

After ascending a narrow, dark and inconvenient staircase, Tchichikoff

arrived at a spacious landing, where he opened a creaking door, and

was encountered by an enormously stout old woman dressed in a yellow

and flame coloured print dress, who officiously addressed the stranger

with: "step in here if you please!" In this room his eye fell upon

familiar objects, such as are to be met with at every small country

inn, of which there are again uncountable numbers on the high roads of

Russia.

Among these familiar objects we may mention, an immense hooped samovar,

smoothly plained fir walls, a three legged, but large cupboard, covered

with an array of tea-pots, cups and saucers standing in a corner,

neatly painted china easter eggs, hanging before the images of the

saints suspended by pink and blue ribbons, a large favourite cat with

her new born offspring, a looking glass, which instead of reflecting

two eyes showed the curious party to be in possession of four, and

instead of a face something not unlike a muffin, and finally numerous

small bundles of fine herbs, which had been hung up to dry close by

the lamps burning before the images. Any one on approaching these

simples, and inhaling their perfumes could not have resisted a sneeze

in consequence.

"Have you a little bit of sucking pig?" such was the question with

which Tchichikoff addressed himself to the fat old woman.

"I have some, your glory!" was the short reply.

"With cream and horse-raddish?"

"Yes, your glory! prepared with cream and horse-raddish."

"Let me have it then!"

The landlady hurried off, and soon returned again with a plate and a

napkin so unmercifully stiffened, that it crackled like dried bark; she

produced a knife with a bone handle, which from age and use had become

of a very dark yellow colour, its blade was as thin as a pen-knife,

a fork with two prongs only, and lastly a salt box, which it was

impossible for her to make stand upright upon the table.

Our hero, begun immediately, as was his habit, to enter into

conversation with the hostess, and inquired with apparent solicitude,

if she kept the hotel herself, or whether it was her husband who

did so; how large the income was, and whether her sons lived with

her in the house; whether the eldest was a single, or married man,

and what sort of wife he had got, whether she brought a large, or a

small marriage portion into the family; and if the father-in-law was

satisfied, or displeased that he received but trifling presents at the

wedding, in a word, he omitted no question that could possibly have

been put.

From these and similar inquiries, it will be obvious that he was also

anxious to know what sort of landowners lived in her neighbourhood,

and he was consequently informed that there existed in the vicinity

a great variety of landed proprietors, for instance: the Blochins,

the Potchitaeffs, the Milnoffs, Tcheprakoff, a Colonel in the army,

Sobakevitch.

"Ah! you know Mr. Sobakevitch?" Tchichikoff demanded, interrupting her,

and he was informed that the old woman knew, not only Sobakevitch, but

also Mr. Maniloff, and that Maniloff was, in her opinion, more of a

gentleman than Sobakevitch; that the former, when putting up at her

inn, would always order a roast chicken, or demand some cold veal;

and if she had any sheep's liver, he would even ask for that, and yet

scarcely touch anything; whilst Sobakevitch was accustomed to ask for

only one dish, but sit down to it, and eat it all, and even ask an

addition of the same, and for the same price.

When he had thus questioned and conversed with the old landlady, whilst

continuing to eat his sucking pig, of which there remained but one

small piece more, the noise of carriage wheels arriving at the inn

was heard. He rose and looked out of the window, and beheld a light

britchka drawn by a troika, three beautiful and well-fed horses, pulled

up before the inn.

Two gentlemen alighted from this carriage. The one was fair and of high

stature; the other less tall and of dark complexion. The fair man was

dressed in a dark cloth paletot; the other wore a simple Turkish morning

coat, commonly called an archaluck. At a distance, a second miserable

looking empty vehicle, drawn by four long-haired and poor looking

horses, followed the first, the harness was in a wretched condition,

and the horses' collars were tattered, and tied up with strings.

The fair complexioned gentleman immediately entered the house and

walked up-stairs; whilst his darker companion remained below, seeking

for something in his britchka, and speaking to the servant. At the same

time he made signs with his hand to the driver of the other vehicle,

which was now gradually approaching. The voice of the speaker below

seemed familiar to Tchichikoff, and whilst he was frying to recognise

him, the fair man had had already time to find the door, and entered

the room.

He was a man of tall stature, with careworn or rather jaded features,

and wore a pair of small Scotch-coloured moustachios. From his pallid

complexion it could easily be perceived that if he had not smelled

much gunpowder, he must have been perfectly familiar with the smoke

of tobacco. He bowed civilly to Tchichikoff, which the other returned

as civilly. In the course of a few minutes they would have infallibly

spoken, and have become well acquainted one with other, because the

commencement was already made, and they would have expressed at the

same time, with mutual satisfaction, that the dust on the high road

had been completely laid by the heavy rain of the preceding night, and

that it was now cool and pleasant travelling, but at that moment the

dark-complexioned traveller entered the room, threw his cap upon the

table, and passed his hand through his rich black hair.

He was a man of the middle stature, well made, and of gentlemanly

appearance, with a highly healthy-coloured complexion, with teeth as

white as snow, and a pair of whiskers as black as ebony. He was fresh

as milk and blood can possibly be; health seemed to gleam out of every

one of his features.

"Bah! bah! bah!" he exclaimed suddenly, and opening his arms as he

beheld Tchichikoff, "What good fortune."

Tchichikoff recognized in the speaker, Mr. Nosdrieff, the same

gentleman with whom he had the pleasure of dining at the Procurator's

house, and who in a very brief time indeed had placed himself on such

a familiar footing with our hero, that he had called him several times

_thou_, which is, by the bye, not unusual in Russia, though it would

shock the ear of an Englishman. However, Tchichikoff on his side, had

given no provocation to this familiarity.

"Where have you been?" said Nosdrieff; but without awaiting a reply,

he continued: "My dear fellow, I have just returned from a fair.

Congratulate me! I have nearly ruined myself by gambling. Would you

believe it, I never lost so much in my life before? And the result is,

that I have been obliged to travel with common post-horses. Just look

through the window, and convince yourself, my dear fellow!"

Here he with his hand turned Tchichikoff's head towards the window,

and nearly made him hit himself against the framework.

"Do you see what miserable looking wretches they are? I can assure you

they had every difficulty in dragging themselves along the road, and I

was therefore obliged to get into that fellow's britchka."

With this polite remark, he pointed with his finger towards his

travelling companion.

"Are you not yet acquainted? My brother-in-law, Mr. Muschnieff. I have

been speaking to him of you, my dear Tchichikoff all the morning. I

told him, mind, we are sure to meet that delightful gentleman, Pavel

Ivanovitch. But, my dear fellow, if you could only imagine how much I

have lost by gambling! Would you believe it, I lost not only four of my

finest race-horses, but also a considerable amount in bank-notes--all

gone I Now I have neither my watch nor chain."

Tchichikoff looked at him, and really found it was as he said, he had

neither his watch nor his chain. It even seemed to him as if one of his

whiskers was less frill than the other.

"And if I had had but twenty roubles more in my pocket at the time,"

continued Nosdrieff, "but the trifling sum of a twenty-rouble note,

I should have won back again, all, no, not merely all, but I am

sure, that at this moment I should have had thirty or forty thousand

roubles more in my pocket-book, this I can affirm, upon my word, as a

gentleman!"

"Now then, softly, you said the same then and there," said the fair

man, "and when I gave you a fifty-rouble note, you lost it in no time."

"I should not have lost it; by Heaven, I should not have lost it,

without a mistake of my own, I could not have lost it. If I had only

doubled my stake after the parole, I should have ruined the croupier."

"However, you did nothing of the kind," added his brother-in-law.

"Certainly not, because as I told you, I bent my corners too rashly. And

you think, perhaps, that the major plays well?"

"I don't care how he plays, but the fact is, that he has won your

money."

"Never mind with his infernal good luck, I could play as well. But let

him come and try his chance with me at any other game, and you will

soon be able to see how I shall treat him. I must confess this fair

was one of the finest I have been at for some time. The tradesmen

themselves agree that they never saw so many people in their town, and

that seldom have they known such a run of business.

"All that I sent to the market, from my estate, has been sold at

the most advantageous prices. I sincerely regret, that you, my dear

fellow, were not with us. Imagine only, about three wersts from town,

a regiment of dragoons was lying in their barracks. All the officers

of that regiment and a few more from other places, in all, about forty

men besides myself; we were always together, but when we sat down to

drink--then it was, my dear fellow, that I should have liked to see you

among us.

"What a nice fellow that Stabz-Capitän Pozelueff is!" Nosdrieff ran on.

"We were always together. We had some excellent wine supplied to us by

the celebrated merchant Ponomareff! But, by the bye, I must tell you,

he is a great scoundrel, and you ought not to buy anything in his shop;

he has the habit of mixing with his wines, heaven knows what stuff,

he put in some sandal-wood, bad spirits, and even some of that raw

Kahetian wine of the Caucasus, the rascal! but then I must confess,

whenever he produces a bottle of what he calls extra fine, and which

he usually keeps in a secret place, then you may depend on tasting

something palateable, and fancy yourself in paradise. The champagne

we had at his house was so delicious, that that with which the Lord

Lieutenant treated us to the other day, was as bad as a bottle of stale

ginger-beer compared with it. Only fancy, it was not Cliquot. He also

produced from his usual hiding store an extra bottle of claret, which

he called bonbon. Its flavour was that of a rose, or a whole bouquet

if you like. Oh, we had such a spree with that fellow! and a prince,

who happened to arrive after us demanded some champagne, and could not

get any in the whole town, for we, I mean the officers and I, had drunk

every bottle of it. Would you believe it, my dear fellow, that I for my

own account drank seventeen bottles of champagne during our dinner!

"Now then, I am sure you could not have drunk seventeen bottles all by

yourself," his brother-in-law interrupted him.

"On the faith of a gentleman, I did as I said, I drank them all,"

answered Nosdrieff.

"You may say what you like, but I tell you, that you could not even

empty ten bottles of champagne."

"Very well then, will you lay a wager to that effect?"

"Why should I bet with you about it?"

"Now then, come, stake your new rifle, which you bought at the fair."

"No, I won't."

"Just lay me a wager about it!"

"I won't even try."

"It's well you won't try, else you would remain without your rifle as

you now are without your cap. Oh, my dear fellow Tchichikoff, you can

have no idea how much I regret that you were not with us! I know you

could never have parted with my friend Lieutenant Kuvschinikoff, I am

sure you would have soon become intimate. He is not such a man as our

Procurator, or all the other niggards of our province, who tremble at

each copek they spend. That fellow spends his fortune like a prince,

and is ready to play any game. Ah, my dear Tchichikoff, why did you not

come to the fair. Really you are a humbug! pardon my saying it, but I

could not help it, allow me to embrace you, my dear fellow, because

I like you amazingly!" and he embraced Tchichikoff, only to go on as

follows.

"Muschnieff, my dear fellow, just look at us, here we are both,

Providence brought us together; what is he to me and what am I to him?

But my dear fellow, you have no idea, how many carriages there were

at every evening party, all _en gros_. I joined a lottery and won two

pots of pomatum, a china tea-cup and saucer, and a guitar; but I played

later again and lost all, and six silver roubles besides.

"Yes, my dear fellow, we have been at some of the most delicious

evening parties. I also made some purchases at the fair, fortunately

I did so, whilst I had yet some money in my pockets. But by the bye,

where are you driving to?"

"I am on the road to a gentleman's house in the neighbourhood,"

answered Tchichikoff.

"Cut him, my dear fellow! and come with me!"

"Thank you, but I cannot accept your invitation, I have some business."

"Bah, what business can you have! you only pretend that, oh, you sly

old father Opodildoc Ivanovitch!"

"Really, I have some business to attend to of a very important nature

too."

"I lay a wager, you are telling me a fib! now tell me at least where

are you going to?"

"I have no objection to tell you that I am going to visit Sobakevitch."

Here Nosdrieff burst into a fit of laughter, with such a ringing

voice as a man of perfect health only can enjoy, and at the same time

displayed a range of teeth as white as sugar to the last; his cheeks

became flushed and trembling, and the effect of his loud outburst could

have caused a neighbour in a third room, separated by two doors, to

startle from his slumbers, and exclaim: "What the deuce is the matter

with that fellow?"

"What do you find so laughable in that," demanded Tchichikoff, partly

vexed at the loud outburst.

But Nosdrieff continued to laugh as loudly as before, adding: "pray

have mercy, or else I shall burst from laughing!"

"There is nothing laughable in that, I should think; besides I gave

him a promise that I would come and visit him," said Tchichikoff.

"But, my dear fellow, allow me to assure you that you will be disgusted

with your own existence, if you go to see him, he is a regular Jew

killer! and I know your disposition; you are too hasty in your

judgment, if you hope to meet there any playmen, or a bottle of good

bonbon claret. Listen, my dear fellow! send Sobakevitch to the deuce,

and come with me! I promise to give you a famous treat! I have some

excellent wine from that scoundrel Ponomareff, who was immensely civil

to me, and assured me that I should not be able to get any thing nearly

so good as his claret and champagne, were I to search for it throughout

the town and fair; for all that I believe him to be a great rogue, and

that he has taken me in most unmercifully. I told him as much, and

added besides; you and all the public contractors are, in my opinion,

the greatest rogues on earth! At all this, my dear fellow, he used to

laugh whilst stroking his carroty beard.

"But, my dear fellow, I nearly forgot to tell you; I know now you will

not be able to refuse me your admiration, I am going to show you

something, which I tell you beforehand, I won't part with, were you

even to offer me ten thousand roubles on the spot.

"Halloa, Porphir," he shouted whilst approaching the window, and

addressing his servant by this name, who was below, holding a knife and

a crust of bread in one hand, and a piece of smoked sturgeon in the

other, which piece he had contrived cleverly to cut off whilst fumbling

about in his master's carriage.

"Halloa, Porphir," shouted Nosdrieff again, "bring me that little dog

out of the carriage! You shall see, my dear fellow, what a beautiful

dog that is," he said, while turning himself again towards Tchichikoff.

"It is like a stolen dog, the owner would have rather liked to part

with himself than with that dog. I gave him that wretched mare, which

as you know, I took in exchange from Captain Hvostireff."

Tchichikoff, however, had never in his life known, or seen either the

wretched mare, or the Captain Hvostireff.

"Would your glory like to take any thing?" asked the landlady civilly.

"Nothing. Oh, my dear fellow, what fun we had to be sure! However, old

woman, let me have a small glass of something. What have you got?"

"Some anisette, if your glory wishes."

"Very well, let me have some anisette," said Nosdrieff.

"Give me a small glass as well!" said his fair brother-in-law.

"At the theatre, I heard an actress sing like a canary-bird; the

lieutenant who sat next to me whispered his favorite motto into my

ear, and said: 'this young bird would be an excellent subject for a

favourable opportunity!' I fancy there were at least fifty large booths

upon the Market Place. And Fenardi spun a windmill, at least four hours

at a time."

Here he took a small glass of liqueur from the hands of the landlady,

who bowed very low at the moment.

"Ah, give him here!" he exclaimed, as he beheld Porphir entering the

room with a small dog in his hands. Porphir was, as nearly as possible,

dressed like his master, namely, he wore a similar Turkish morning

coat, with the only difference, that it looked greasy.

"Bring him here--put him on the floor!"

Porphir deposited the little dog upon the floor, who stretched out his

fore paws and began to smell the ground.

"Here is the dog," said Nosdrieff, laying hold of his skin and holding

him up in his hand. The young dog howled forth a rather plaintive tune.

"But you have not done what I told you," said Nosdrieff, turning

towards Porphir, whilst minutely examining the dog's stomach; "it seems

you have neglected to clean him?"

"Pardon me, Sir, I have combed him."

"Where then do those fleas come from?"

"I can't say, your glory. They must have got upon him somehow whilst he

was lying in the carriage."

"Nonsense, stuff, you idle fellow, you appear to have forgotten to do

as I told you, and have given him some of your own jumpers besides.

Look here, my dear Tchichikoff, just examine his ears, now just feel

them with your own hand."

"Never mind, I can see without feeling: he is of a good breed,"

answered Tchichikoff.

"Nay, oblige me, only just feel his ears!"

Tchichikoff, in order to oblige him, complied with the request, and

felt the ears of the young dog, and then added: "yes, it will be a fine

dog."

"And his nose, can you feel how cold it is? just try it with your hand."

Tchichikoff not wishing to offend him, even felt the dog's nose,

saying: "yes, he seems to have a fine scent."

"A thorough-bred bull-dog," continued Nosdrieff, "and I must confess I

longed to have a real English bull-dog, long ago. Here, Porphir, take

him away again."

Porphir took the young bull-dog gently under the stomach, and carried

it back again into the carriage.

"I say, Tchichikoff, you must now come as far as my house, it is only

five wersts off, and we shall be there in no time, and later if you

like you may proceed to Sobakevitch's."

"And why should I not," thought Tchichikoff to himself, "I'll really

drive as far as Nosdrieff's estate and see what it is like. He is not

worse than anybody else; he is a good a gentleman as any, and besides,

he is a gambler and has lost. To judge by appearances he seems rather

clever, consequently, it might easily happen that I shall easily obtain

what I want."

"Very well then," he added aloud, "I will, but on the express condition

that you will not detain me, because my time is precious."

"Ah, my soul, that is right! I am delighted my dear fellow, allow me to

embrace you, to kiss you."

Hereupon Nosdrieff and Tchichikoff embraced and kissed one another on

the cheek--as is the custom between intimate friends in Russia.

"And we shall all have a delightful journey home!"

"Pray, no, I hope you will excuse me," said his fair brother-in-law, "I

must hasten homewards."

"Nonsense, stuff, my dear fellow, I shall not let you off."

"Really, I must, else my wife will be angry with me, and besides, now

you will be able to take a seat in Mr. Tchichikoff's britchka."

"No, no, no, and don't you think of escaping us!"

Mushnieff, Nosdrieff's fair-complexioned brother-in-law, was one

of those men whose dominant character seemed to be a spirit of

contradiction. Scarcely has a person had time to open his mouth, when

he will be already to contradict him, it is therefore obvious that

they will never agree upon any point that is in just opposition to

their different and separate opinion, they will therefore never call a

foolish man a wise one, and especially such men would as a matter of

course never consent to dance to another's whistle; but in the end, it

will always appear that their general character is a weak disposition,

and that at last they will agree upon the very thing they originally

had been contradicting, namely, they will affirm the fool to be a wise

man, and the next thing they will do, is to go and dance most heartily

after another man's whistle, in a word, they begin roughly and end

smoothly.

"Nonsense!" said Nosdrieff, in reply to some observation of his

brother-in-law; he then took his travelling cap, put it on his head and

the fair gentleman followed the two others.

"I hope you will excuse me, but your glories have not paid me for the

liqueurs," said the old landlady.

"Ah, very well, my good woman. I say my dear brother-in-law, just

pay that old woman will you. I have not a copek in my pocket," said

Nosdrieff.

"How much is it?" demanded the brother-in-law.

"A rouble only, may it please your glory," said the hostess.

"Stuff! nonsense!" shouted Nosdrieff, "give her only half-a-rouble;

that will be quite sufficient for the trash."

"It's rather little, your honour," said the old woman; however, she

took the money with a curtsey, and hurried to open the door as fast as

her bodily constitution would permit her. She had sustained no loss

in taking what was given to her, because she took care to demand four

times the value of her had spirits.

CHAPTER XVIII.

The travellers took their seats in their respective carriages.

Tchichikoff's britchka drove in a line with that in which Nosdrieff

was seated with his brother-in-law, and thus they had every facility

for continuing their conversation during their journey to Nosdrieff's

estate. These two carriages were followed at a slight distance behind

by Nosdrieff's dilapidated conveyance. In it were seated his servant

Porphir, and his new acquisition the young bull-dog.

As the conversation of the three travellers could be but of little

interest to the reader, we will omit it altogether, and say a word

instead about Nosdrieff, whose fate it will perhaps be to play an

important part in this narrative.

Nosdrieff's face we premise to be already a little familiar to our

reader. Men like him could easily be met with by everybody, who will

take the trouble and travel in Russia. They are what are called men who

have cut their eye teeth. Their reputation begins from their boyhood,

when they were much admired by their school-fellows, but for all that

never escaped a sound thrashing occasionally. In their face, there is

always something open, straightforward, if not impudent, to be seen.

They soon succeed in ingratiating themselves, and ere you have had time

to recover from your surprise they call you already "my dear fellow."

They seem to establish their friendly relations for an eternity; but it

will always happen that those who have been imprudent enough to form

an intimacy with them, will, on the very evening of the day, at some

friendly supper or rout, fall out with them. They are always very great

talkers, hard drinkers, and what is termed, jolly good fellows, and

with all that, men of prepossessing appearance.

Nosdrieff, at thirty-five years of age, was in all these talents as

accomplished as he was when only eighteen or twenty; exceedingly

fond of dissipation. His marriage did not in the least interfere

with his pleasures, nor change him, so much the less, since his wife,

shortly after their marriage; quitted this world for a better one,

leaving behind her two little children, which were of no earthly use

or consolation to him. His infants, however, were properly taken

care of by a housekeeper. He never could stay at home for more than

twenty-four hours at a time. His sense of divination was so acute that

he could smell at a distance of twenty or thirty miles where a fair

was to be held, or a ball or rout to be given. In no time he was sure

to be there, lead on a dispute, create a disturbance at the green

table, because he, like other men of his description, had a passion

for gambling. He was fond of card-playing, as we have seen already

in the first chapter; and he did not play without a little cheating,

because he knew so many different tricks and finesses, and for that

very reason the game often ended in another sort of play; he either got

a sound thrashing, or his full and glossy whiskers pulled about so much

so, that very often he had to return home with only one of his hairy

ornaments, and that even of a spare appearance.

But the constitution of his full and rosy cheeks was so excellent,

that with an extraordinary fertility of growth, a new pair of whiskers

soon made their appearance again, and even finer and stronger than the

former.

But the strangest feature in his character was--and this could perhaps

only happen in Russia--that a very short time after, he could coolly

meet again the very same friends who had but recently horsewhipped him,

and meet them as if nothing had been the matter between them; and as

the phrase goes, _he_ said nothing, and _they_ said nothing about it.

Nosdrieff was in some respects also an historical personage. He never

went to an evening party without there being some talk about him

afterwards. Some event or another was sure to take place wherever he

went; he would either be obliged to leave the room under an escort of

strangers, or be forcibly led away by his own friends, who ventured

to introduce him. If either of these cases did not happen, it might

be depended upon that something else was sure to occur and make him

notorious, and which to any other person would not happen under any

circumstances; he would either get tipsy to such a degree as to do

nothing else but laugh continually, or commit himself to such a degree

that at last he will begin to blush at them himself.

Strange to say, he would try to impose upon persons without the least

advantage to himself: he would of a sudden protest, that once he

possessed a horse or a dog of a green or a blue colour, and such and

similar nonsense; so that those who have been listening to him, will

leave him and say, "what falsehoods that man is telling, to be sure!"

There are people, who have a passion for injuring their fellow-men

frequently without any provocation. Some of us Russians, for an

example, men of rank, of prepossessing appearance and with large

decorations on their breasts, will often give you unquestionable

assurances of friendship whilst pressing your hand warmly, speak to you

about scientific things, which require deep study--and then, the very

next moment, and in your presence, they will go and play you some base

trick. And they will injure you as meanly as a man of the fifteenth

degree of the Russian nobility--which by the bye is the lowest, though

this was not at all what you could have expected from a man wearing a

star or two on his breast, discussing scientific things which require

deep study and serious meditation. So great will your surprise be at

his conduct, that you will remain abashed, shrug your shoulders, and

say nothing.

Nosdrieff had exactly such a passion, whoever was the more acquainted

or befriended by him, was sure to be the chosen victim of this

despicable passion of his; he launched some of his monstrous nonsense,

anything more stupid could scarcely be imagined, yet he succeeded

either in breaking off some promise of marriage or some contract of

sale, and what not; and in doing all that, he never called himself your

enemy; on the contrary, if fate would have it, that you should meet him

again, he would accost you like an old friend, and even say, "halloah!

here you are at last, but you are not my dear fellow, because you never

come to see me."

Nosdrieff was in many respects also a multifarious man, to use a

common phrase, we may call him, a man up to anything and everything.

At the same instant he would propose to you, to go and drive wherever

you like, If even to the end of the world, or in search of Sir John

Franklin, then again he would be ready to enter into any speculation

with you, exchange with you everything that could possibly be

exchanged,--a rifle, a dog, a horse, not that he had any object of

gain in it, not at all, it was simply another trait of his restless and

foolish character.

If fate would have it so, that he might meet an inexperienced player

or a flat at any of the towns or fairs which he used to visit, and

that he should win of him his money in a gambling match, he would buy

all and everything that would be first brought under his notice or be

offered to him; he then purchased indiscriminately, horse-collars,

perfumes, and neckerchiefs for the nurse of his children, a stallion,

grapes, a silver mouth bason, Irish linen, buckwheat flour, tobacco,

holster-pistols, Dutch herrings, oil paintings, mechanical instruments,

pots and saucepans, boots, china tea-services--in fact, as long as his

money lasted, he would continue his purchases.

However, it was a rare occurrence when any of this great variety of

articles were ever sent to his home; it happened nearly invariably that

all these goods passed the very day of their purchase into the hands of

some more fortunate gambler, very frequently even he would have to make

the addition of his favourite Turkish pipe, with its amber mouth-piece

and other ornaments, and he had even known extreme cases, when he

had to part with his carriage, horses, and coachman, so that he, the

master, was left behind, possessing for the time being nothing he could

call his own but his clothes, running about to find some friend to give

him a place in his carriage and drive him home--and this seems very

much to have been the case with him in this instance, when he met with

Tchichikoff at the inn.

Meanwhile, the three carriages had arrived before the gates of

Nosdrieff's house. In the house there had been no preparations made

for their reception. In the centre of the dining room there was a

scaffolding on which two mouzhiks were standing, and whitewashing the

wall and ceiling, whilst singing the tune of some interminable song.

Nosdrieff immediately gave orders that the workmen as well as the

scaffoldings should quit the room, and hastened into an adjoining

apartment to give the necessary instructions to that effect. His guests

heard Him give his commands for the preparation of a dinner to his

cook; when this was audibly heard by Tchichikoff, he began to feel an

appetite, as well as the conviction that they should not be able to sit

to table before five o'clock.

Nosdrieff, after returning to his guests offered to show them all and

everything on his estate, and in his village; and, in little more than

two hours he had positively shown them everything worth seeing, so

that there remained nothing else to be looked at. First of all they

went to examine his stables, where they saw two mares, the one a grey

silver-coloured animal, the other a chesnut one, then a black stallion,

not a showy looking horse at all, but for which Nosdrieff swore that he

had paid ten thousand roubles.

"You could never have paid ten thousand roubles for that animal," his

brother-in-law observed coolly. "It is not worth even a thousand."

"By Heaven, I gave ten thousand for him," said Nosdrieff.

"You may invoke Heaven as a witness as much as you like, I don't

care," his fair-complexioned brother-in-law persisted.

"Very well then, let us have a wager about it," exclaimed Nosdrieff.

But his brother-in-law did not like to lay him a wager.

Nosdrieff then showed them some empty stalls, in which he used to keep

excellent race-horses formerly. In the same stable they also saw a

goat, who, according to a proverbial faith, was deemed indispensable in

a stable near the horses, and it seemed that this goat was on excellent

terms with his fellow-animals, for it walked about under their stomachs

as if quite at home. After this, Nosdrieff led them away, showed them a

young wolf, whom he kept tied to a pole.

"Here is a whelp," said he, "I feed him purposely with raw meat. I want

to bring him up to become a perfect wild beast."

They then went to look at a pond, in which, according to Nosdrieff,

there were such enormously large fish, that two men would have every

difficulty in pulling out one of them.

In this, however, his brother seemed not inclined to contradict him.

"Tchichikoff, my dear fellow, come along, I'll show you a pair of

beautiful dogs," said Nosdrieff, whilst leading on; "their muscular

strength will amaze you, their power of scent is as sharp as--a needle!"

"Just look at that plain," said Nosdrieff, whilst pointing with his

finger to a field before them, "there is such a number of hares that

you can scarcely see the ground; I caught one the other day with my own

hands by his hind legs."

"I venture to say, that you will never catch a hare with your hands!"

observed his brother-in-law.

"But I tell you I caught one, and caught one purposely with my own

hands!" answered Nosdrieff. "But now come along and I will show you,

my dear fellow," he continued whilst turning towards Tchichikoff, "the

frontier line of my estate."

When they had walked a considerable distance, they really arrived at

the boundary mark of his estate, which consisted of a wooden post with

a small board fixed to it.

"Here we are, at the frontier!" said Nosdrieff, "all, what you can

possibly see on that side, is mine, and even on the other side, all

that extensive forest which looms there in the distance, and that,

which is beyond the forest, all is mine."

"But since when has that forest become yours?" inquired his

brother-in-law. "You have bought it lately? for it was not yours some

time ago?"

"Just so; I bought it quite recently," answered Nosdrieff.

"How did you manage to buy it so quickly, so suddenly?"

"It's a fact, I bought it about three days ago, and the deuce, I paid a

handsome price for it."

"But, if I remember well, you were just at that time at the fair?"

"Oh, what a simpleton you are! Is it then impossible to be at the same

time at a fair, whilst buying a piece of land? Well, then, I was at the

fair, whilst my manager bought the forest and land."

"Ah, your manager! that is another affair," said his brother-in-law,

but even then he seemed to question the matter as a fact, and shook his

head.

CHAPTER XIX.

Nosdrieff's guests were obliged to return by the same wet and muddy

road on which they came. When they had arrived at the house, Nosdrieff

led them into his private cabinet, in which, however, there were

no traces of such articles as one would expect to see in a private

study: namely, books or papers; the principal ornaments seemed to be

a collection of swords, and two rifles, the one the value of about

three hundred roubles, the other might have cost eight hundred. The

brother-in-law looked around him, shook his head, but said nothing.

After this Nosdrieff exhibited some Turkish daggers, upon the one of

them was unfortunately the name of a celebrated Russian armourer of the

name of Siberiakoff. The exhibition was concluded by a grinding organ,

which the owner began to turn with the intention of entertaining his

guests with some music. The organ had a rather pleasing tone, but there

seemed to be something wrong with it, because the Mazurka which it was

just playing ended with "The Marlborough March," and "Marlborough's

March" again, was suddenly superseded by a mixture of one of Strauss'

waltzes.

Nosdrieff had long since left off turning the handle, yet there seemed

to be an obstinate flute in the organ, which would not cease to send

forth a long and plaintive tone, which continued for some considerable

time to whistle all by itself. To make up for this mishap, Nosdrieff

produced his collection of pipes; there was a great variety of them,

some of common red and white clay, some meerschaums already coloured,

and some others quite new, some of them were carefully sown into

doeskin, others again had no doeskin; he also showed them some cherry

tubes of great beauty and length, with amber mouth-pieces, and without

any; among those with mouth-pieces there was a very valuable one which

he had but recently won in a raffle, he did not fail to boast of an

embroidered tobacco-pouch, which he had received from a countess,

whilst on his road to Smolensk, and who had fallen head over ears in

love with him, and if we are to believe still further what he said

about this adventure, the lady's hands were of such a beautiful shape

that he could not find better words to express his appreciation, of

their perfection but by calling them "fatally superfine," which no

doubt meant with him the highest degree of perfection.

After having shown all he possessed to his guests, he led them into the

dining-room, where they took a small glass of liqueur to excite the

appetite, and then sat down to dinner, considerably after five o'clock

in the afternoon. A good dinner seemed not to be the first condition

in the happy existence of Nosdrieff; a variety of dishes did not play

a principal _rôle_ upon his table; some of the eatables were too much

roasted, whilst others were not sufficiently cooked. It was obvious

that his _chef de cuisine_ was accustomed to a kind of freemasonry in

his art, and that he had made up the dishes with the first comestibles

that came under his hands or notice; if pepper was the nearest article

in his reach, he would throw some pepper into the saucepan, if cabbage

was at hand, he was sure to stuff the saucepan with cabbage, add some

milk, ham, peas, in a word, everything was thrown pell-mell into the

boiler, provided it was hot; as for the taste, he was sure that his

cookery would have plenty of that.

To make up for any deficiencies of his cook, Nosdrieff stuck to the

wine; soup was not yet served, when he had already supplied his guests

with some port wine in two large tumblers, and some Haut Sauterne

in two others, because in small provincial towns and country places

they do not keep simple Sauterne. Nosdrieff then ordered his servant,

Porphir--who served at table--to bring in a bottle of Madeira, of

such an exquisite taste and dry quality that the Prince Field-Marshal

Paskievitch would have been proud to taste it. The Madeira wine was

really of a fiery taste, because the wine merchants were too well

acquainted with the taste of landed proprietors, who like a strong and

dry glass of Madeira, and for that reason they mix it unmercifully with

brandy, and sometimes even with the monopolised imperial raw spirit, in

the hope that the excellent constitution of a Russian stomach will be

able to digest it.

A little later, Nosdrieff ordered that another bottle should be brought

in of some particularly good wine, which, according to his words, was

both Burgundy and Champagne; this wine he poured out very freely to

the right and to the left, to his brother-in-law and to Tchichikoff;

Tchichikoff, however, observed with a side glance, that Nosdrieff

had taken but little himself of his extra wine. This made him become

very cautious, and, as soon as Nosdrieff seemed warmly engaged in

conversation with his brother-in-law, he immediately took advantage of

the opportunity to pour some of that extra wine into his plate.

In the course of dinner, a roast heath-cock was put upon the table,

which, according to Nosdrieff, would have its mild a taste as cream,

but which, to the surprise of his guests, had a positive taste of a

badly cooked sea-gull. They then tasted some French _beaume_, a sweet

liqueur with such an extraordinary name that it was quite impossible

to recollect it, for the host himself, called it the second time by a

different appellation.

They had finished dining long since, and had been drinking all sorts of

wine, yet the host and his guests remained seated at table. Tchichikoff

did not like the idea of beginning a conversation with Nosdrieff, on

his all-important subject, in the presence of his brother-in-law, whom

he considered a stranger, and the matter on which he intended to speak

to Nosdrieff demanded a private, confidential, and friendly interview.

However, the brother-in-law did not look like a dangerous man at the

moment, because he seemed to have taken a copious libation, was moving

to and fro in his chair, and continually twitching his nose with his

left hand. He began to feel uneasy and as if he had a presentiment

of an approaching hopeless condition; he at last begun to beg to be

allowed to return home, but with such an idle and heavy voice, as

if, to use a Russian phrase, "he was pulling a horse-collar upon the

horse's neck with a pair of pincers."

"Oh, no, no, no! I shall not allow you to go!" said Nosdrieff.

"Pray do not offend me, my good friend, by detaining me, I really must

leave you," his brother-in-law said, "you will very much offend me if

you insist upon my staying any longer."

"Nonsense, folly! we will presently have a small game."

"Not I, my dear fellow, you may do as you like; my wife will have all

sorts of ideas, I shall have to tell her of the fair. I really must

give her some pleasant surprise after my long absence. No, oblige me,

and do not try to keep me here any longer."

"Send your wife to the d--l! what's the use of your going home in your

present state?"

"No, brother! she is such an excellent and virtuous wife; she is full

of favours for me--would you believe me, I feel the tears coming into

my eyes. No, do not keep me any longer, on my honour as a gentleman, I

shall leave you, and I give you this assurance like an honest man."

"Let him depart, of what good could he be?" Tchichikoff whispered

slowly to Nosdrieff.

"You are right, by Jove!" said Nosdrieff, "I cannot bear the sight of

these nervous fools!" and he added aloud, "well, the d--l be with you;

go and make love to your better-half, you slave to gynæocracy!"

"No, brother, you ought not to call me by any of those foreign names,"

his brother-in-law replied, "as for my wife, I owe her my existence.

She is an amiable and loving woman and is full of such tenderness--she

often moves me to tears; no, the more I think of her the more I wish to

return to her; she is sure to ask me what I have seen and done at the

fair, and I shall have to tell her all, for she is an angel of a woman!"

"Be off then, and tell her as much as you like! there is your cap."

"Nay, brother Nosdrieff, you are wrong in wanting respect for your own

sister; by committing a breach of politeness towards her, you offend me

as well, and you know well what an amiable woman my wife is."

"Therefore, I cannot advise you better than to hasten into her arms as

soon as you like, and sooner if possible!"

"Yes, brother, I must leave you, excuse me, but really I cannot stay

any longer. My heart would be rejoiced if I could stay, but I must not

tarry any longer."

Nosdrieff's brother-in-law continued yet for a considerable time to

express his regrets and excuses, without noticing that he had been

already seated for some time in his own carriage, that he had long

since departed from Nosdrieff's house, and that nothing but open fields

and the high road were before him. It might be easily imagined, that

his wife heard but little of what he had seen and done at the fair.

CHAPTER XX.

"What a stupid fellow!" said Nosdrieff, whilst standing at the window

and looking after his brother-in-law's carriage as it was gradually

disappearing in the distance. "Look here how he is driving off; one of

his off horses is rather a fine animal, I have long had my eye upon it.

However, it is quite impossible to come to any understanding with the

man. He is such an odd fellow."

After saying this, Nosdrieff and Tchichikoff entered another room.

Porphir brought in some candles, and Tchichikoff observed in the hands

of his host a pack of cards, for the sudden appearance of which he

could not possibly account.

"What do you say, my dear fellow," Nosdrieff remarked, whilst pressing

the back of the pack with his fingers in such a manner, that they got

slightly bent, and the wrapper in which they were broke; "Now then, and

in order to pass our time pleasantly, I propose to hold the bank with

three hundred roubles in it."

But Tchichikoff pretended not to have heard the other's proposal, and

said, as if suddenly recollecting something: "Ah! by the bye, and ere I

forget it again; I have request to make."

"What is it?"

"Give me first your promise to fulfil it."

"But what is your request?"

"Never mind, give me your promise!"

"'Tis granted."

"Your word of honour."

"My word of honour."

"And now hear my request: you have no doubt, my dear fellow, a number

of dead serfs, that have not been yet struck out from the lists of the

last census?"

"Yes, I have; but why?"

"Transfer them to me, to my name."

"And for what purpose do you want them?"

"Suffice it, if I tell you I want them."

"But for what purpose?"

"As I told you before I want them; the rest is my business, in a word

then, I want to have them."

"No doubt you are up to something. Come, old fellow, confess it, eh?"

"To what should I be up? how could I be up to anything with such

worthless trash, as dead serfs?"

"But why should you then tell me you want to have them?"

"Oh, what a curious fellow you are! you wish to touch everything, or

rather thrash with your own hands, and smell at it besides!"

"But why don't you tell me?"

"And where would be the advantage if you knew it? well then if you must

know it, it is a sudden fancy I have."

"Well then, look here, my dear fellow: unless you tell me the truth,

you shall not have my dead serfs!"

"And now I must confess, that this is not honourable on your part: you

gave me your word of honour, and now you try to back out of it."

"As you like, my dear fellow, but you shall not have them unless you

tell me of what use they could be to you, dead as they are."

"What shall I tell him," said Tchichikoff to himself, and after a

moment's reflection, stated, that he wanted those dead serfs for the

purpose of gaining a greater influence in society, that he did not

possess a large property, and that until his fortunes changed these

dead serfs would be a consolation to him.

"Stuff, nonsense!" said Nosdrieff, not giving him even proper time to

finish his phrase, "bosh, my dear fellow!"

Tchichikoff could not help making the observation to himself, that his

invention was far from being clever, and that the pretence was a very

weak one indeed.

"Well then, I will be more explicit," said he, whilst recovering

himself from his first defeat, "but pray do not betray me in letting it

out. I have come to the resolution of getting married; but I must tell

you that the parents of my intended are very ambitious persons. 'Tis

quite a bore to me. I am sorry even that I gave my promise; they insist

that the future husband of their daughter should absolutely have, at

least, three hundred serfs to call his Own, and as I am short of the

round sum of hundred and fifty, I thought ..."

"Bosh! bosh!" Nosdrieff shouted again.

"Now, my dear fellow," said Tchichikoff, "in telling you this much, I

have spoken the truth, there is not even this much of imposition in

what I told you," and here he showed the extremest point of his little

finger.

"I lay my head, that you told me a falsehood."

"This is offensive in reality! what do you take me for? And why should

I absolutely tell a falsehood?"

"'Tis all very fine, my dear fellow, but I know you; you are a gay

deceiver. Allow me to tell you something between ourselves, and quite

confidentially. If I was your commander-in-chief, I should have you

hanged on the first and nearest tree."

Tchichikoff felt shocked and offended at this remark, for every

observation, however slightly uncivil or offensive to propriety, was

highly disagreeable to him. He avoided as much as possible allowing

any familiarities to be taken with him, and in extreme cases would

only permit such to be taken as might be termed the most delicate. And

for that reason, he was now deeply offended, and sensibly hurt at the

observation made by Nosdrieff.

"By heaven I should have you hanged," repeated Nosdrieff, "I tell you

this candidly, not with the intention of offending you; oh no! but

simply, friendly and confidentially."

"Every thing has its limits," said Tchichikoff, with an air of dignity.

"If you like to boast in such language, I would advise you to go into a

barrack;" and then he added, "if you don't like to let me have them for

nothing, well then sell me them."

"Sell them! but I know you well, you are a gay deceiver. You will not

offer me a fair price for them?"

"Eh! you are a fine bird too! look at them! what are they to you. Do

you value them like diamonds?"

"It is as I thought, when I told you that I knew you."

"Pardon me, my dear fellow, but you have quite Jewish inclinations.

You ought to let me have them for nothing."

"Now then, listen, in order to show you how far you are mistaken in

me, and that I am no selfish animal, I shall take nothing for my dead

serfs. Buy my stallion of me, and I'll give them to you into the

bargain."

"But, my dear fellow, what am I to do with a stallion?" said

Tchichikoff, quite bewildered by such a proposal.

"What to do? But remember, my dear fellow, I paid ten thousand roubles

for the animal, and I'll let you have him for only four thousand."

"But of what use could a stallion be to me? I do not keep a

horse-breeding institution, like his most glorious Majesty our Emperor

does."

"But, my dear fellow, you seem not to understand me. I'll only take

three thousand roubles of you now, and as for the remaining thousand,

you may pay me later at your own convenience."

"But I do not want your stallion, nor any one else's. Heaven be with

the whole race!"

"Well, will you buy my hunter, the grey mare?"

"I do not want a mare either."

"For that mare, and the other grey horse you have seen in my stables,

I'll only take three thousand roubles from you."

"But I do not want any horses."

"You may sell them. You are sure to get at any fair, or sale, more than

three times their present value."

"Then it would be better for you to sell them yourself, if you are

convinced you could get as much as three times their value."

"I am sure, I could make as much, but I wish you to derive that

benefit."

Tchichikoff thanked him for the friendly intention, but obstinately

refused either to have the grey mare, or the grey horse.

"Well then, will you buy some of my dogs? I'll sell you a pair with

a skin as smooth as a thirty degrees frost! a spotted pair with

moustachios, and upstanding hair like a pig's bristles, the roundness

of their ribs is quite incomprehensible, their paws are swiftness

itself, they scarcely touch the ground."

"Of what use could dogs be to me? I am not a sportsman."

"But I wish you to have some dogs. Very well, if you won't have any of

my dogs, you ought to buy my organ, it is a most wonderful instrument;

on my word of honour, it has cost, me more than one thousand five

hundred roubles; but you shall have it for nine hundred."

"But what am I to do with an organ? I am not a German, that I should go

dragging it along, and grinding it in the streets, whilst begging the

passers by for alms."

"But, my dear fellow, you are mistaken, it is not an organ like the

Germans carry about, it is a regular, really musical organ; just come

along and look at it, it is all of mahogany. I'll show it you once

more."

Hereupon Nosdrieff seized Tchichikoff by the hand, and began to pull

him into the next room, and however much the other resisted by stemming

his feet against the floor, and as well by persuading him that he

perfectly well recollected the organ, it was of no use, and he was

obliged to listen once more to the tune of Marlborough's march, and

Strauss' familiar valse.

"If you don't wish to make a bargain for all cash, then listen to what

I propose to you. I'll give you this organ, and as many dead serfs as

I have got, and you will give me in return your britchka, and three

hundred roubles in hard cash."

"What an idea! and pray, in what am I to drive home?"

"I'll give you another britchka. Come, let us go to the coach-house,

I'll show it to you! You will only have to paint it afresh and it will

be an excellent carriage."

"Oh, good heaven, it seems the devil has possessed him!" thought

Tchichikoff within himself, and he came to the resolution, whatever

the consequences might be, to decline all descriptions of britchkas,

organs, and all imaginable breeds of dogs, without regard to their

incomprehensible swiftness and smell.

"And, remember," added Nosdrieff, "I offer you a britchka, an organ,

and all my dead serfs, the whole in a batch!"

"I won't have them!" Tchichikoff exclaimed once more.

"Why won't you have them then?"

"Simply because I won't have them, and there is an end."

"What a curious fellow you are; it would seem it is quite impossible to

live on friendly terms with you, as is customary among good comrades,

you are such an obstinate fellow! It is evident you are a deceitful

man!"

"But for what do you take me, surely not for a fool? just reflect for a

moment: why should I make the acquisition of such things as are of no

earthly use whatever to me?"

"Pray don't talk. I know you now perfectly well. You are a regular box

of antiquities! However, listen to me, will you play faro? I'll stake

all my dead serfs on a card, and my organ in the bargain."

"Well, to venture a game, means to expose one-self to uncertainties,"

spoke Tchichikoff, and meanwhile he kept glancing stealthily at the

pack of cards which Nosdrieff had taken in his hands again. The cards

seemed to him to be of an artificial make, and the corners looked very

suspicious.

"What do you mean by uncertainties?" demanded Nosdrieff. "There cannot

be the least uncertainty, provided only fortune smiles on you, you

may win enormously. Look here! what luck! said he," as he commenced

the game of faro, in the hope of exciting a gambling passion in his

guest. "What a chance! what luck! look here: thus you might win in

reality! there is the confounded nine, upon which I lost all. I had a

presentiment, that this card would sell my luck, and closing my eyes, I

thought to myself: I am sold if that confounded card turns up."

As Nosdrieff spoke thus, Porphir entered with a fresh bottle.

But Tchichikoff positively refused either to play or to drink.

"But why won't you play at least?" demanded Nosdrieff.

"Because I am not in the humour. And besides, I must confess I am not

partial to gambling."

"Why, how is this, you are not fond of gambling?"

Tchichikoff shrugged his shoulders, and added: "just so, I am not an

amateur."

"You are a precious fool!"

"I can't help that, Heaven has made me so."

"You are a regular humbug! Till now, I was under the impression that

you were a reputable man in some respects, but now I plainly perceive

that you have not the slightest sense of propriety and good manners. It

is impossible to speak to you as one would speak to a friend. You have

no candour, no straightforwardness; you are the image of Sobakevitch,

you are like him, a regular sneaking fellow!"

"But why do you scold me and call me all sorts of names? Is it my fault

if I don't like gambling? And if you are such a man as to value such

a trash as your dead serfs are, well then, sell them to me, name your

price."

"Since you are such a mean fellow, you shall not have them at all!

Originally,' I intended to present them to you as a token of my

friendship, gratuitously, but now you shall not have them at any price!

Nay, were you even to offer me a kingdom, I would not part with them.

You are a shuffler, a wretched potter! From this very moment, I won't

speak another word with you. Porphir, go and tell my stable-boy not to

give any oats to his horses, let them feed on dry hay."

The latter determination of Nosdrieff's, Tchichikoff was far from

anticipating.

"Now I could wish I had never seen you before," added Nosdrieff.

Regardless of this altercation between them, the guest and his host

nevertheless sat down and took supper together, although this time

there were no wines with inexpressible names put on the table. The only

bottle that passed between them was a bottle of Kahetian wine, which

possessed all the peculiarities of a green and sour vinegar beverage.

After a silent supper, Nosdrieff led Tchichikoff into a small adjoining

room in which a bed had been prepared for him.

"Here is your bed; I do not wish you even a good night's rest!"

CHAPTER XXI.

Tchichikoff remained after Nosdrieff's departure in the most unpleasant

frame of mind. He was inwardly angry with himself; he scolded himself

for having accepted Nosdrieff's invitation, and thus uselessly

losing his time. But what vexed him most was that he had imprudently

begun to speak of his all-important object, like a child, like a

fool; because this business was not of a nature to be entrusted to

Nosdrieff--Nosdrieff, a man without any worth or sense; he could

compromise him, he could tell stories, make additions, and spread,

heaven knows what calumnies about, and thus place him in the greatest

difficulties--it was neither right nor well! "I have made a regular

ass of myself," said he to himself.

He spent a very sleepless night. Some very small, but also very daring

insects, kept biting him unmercifully, so much so, that he could not

help scratching the wounded spots, and prompted by utter agony, adding

each time, "I wish you to the devil and your master, Nosdrieff, as

well!" After a very short but sound slumber, he awoke very early the

next morning. The first occupation he undertook was to slip into a

morning-gown and into his boots, he then went across the court-yard

into the stable, and ordered Selifan to put the horses immediately in

his britchka. On returning from the stable he met Nosdrieff, who made

his appearance also in a long morning-gown, and with a Turkish pipe in

his mouth.

Nosdrieff accosted him in a friendly manner, and inquired how he had

passed the night.

"Tolerably," answered Tchichikoff, rather dryly.

"And I, my dear fellow," continued Nosdrieff, "I have passed a most

wretched night, I have been victimised by an army of insects, and I now

feel as if I had been sleeping in a barrack. Imagine, I dreamt that I

had been regularly horsewhipped, yes, truly, and by whom do you think?

This you will never guess; by my intimate friends, Colonel Pozelueff

and Lieutenant Kuvschinikoff."

"Yes," thought Tchichikoff to himself, "it would be an excellent thing

if you were to receive a thrashing in reality."

"By heaven, and it feels painful even now! When I awoke I really

felt pains all over me, and such an unpleasant itching, no doubt the

confounded fleas have again been at me. You had better go now and dress

yourself, and I will be with you almost immediately. I have only to go

and scold my manager, the rogue."

Tchichikoff went into his room to wash and dress himself. When he had

done so, he entered the dining-room, where he found the table laid

with a tea service and a bottle of brandy. In this room, his eyes also

met with the remains of the dinner and supper of the preceding day; it

seemed as if the broom had not made its appearance there; the floor was

strewn with bread crumbs, and tobacco ashes were even still lying on

the table cloth.

The host himself did not fail to make his appearance soon after; he

had no other dress on him but a loose Turkish morning-gown, which

rather displayed than concealed his broad chest, upon which a regular

beard seemed to grow freely. Holding in one hand his long Turkish pipe

and in the other a cup of tea, he would have made a characteristic

subject for a painter, who hates gentlemen of propriety, with curled

hair, like a hairdresser's sign-board, or a head shorn _à la diable

m'emporte_.

"Now then, what are you thinking about?" said Nosdrieff, after a

momentary silence, "will you, or will you not play for my dead serfs?"

"My dear fellow, I have already told you once for all, I won't play,

but if you like I am ready to buy them."

"I won't sell them, because it would not be acting in a friendly manner

towards you; but I'm still disposed to play for them as long as you

like. Come, let us have a turn, if but one only!"

"As I told you before, no."

"And you won't barter, either?"

"No, I won't."

"Now, listen and don't be so obstinate, let us have a game of draughts,

if you win they shall all be yours; and, I remember now that I have

got a number of dead serfs, that ought to be struck out from the census

list of the living. Holloa, Porphir, bring me the draught-board here."

"Tis a useless trouble, I shall not play."

"But that is not playing at cards; there can be no chance or shuffling;

all depends upon ingenuity. I must even tell you beforehand, that I

am no player at all, and that you might as well give me a price in

advance."

Tchichikoff thought to himself, "Well, I'll venture to play a game with

him! I used to play once at draughts tolerably well, besides, there is

no chance for him to cheat. Very well, then, in order to oblige you

I'll play you a game."

"My dead serfs against a hundred roubles."

"Why? it will be high enough, if I lay fifty against them?"

"No, fifty roubles is quite a ridiculous stake. I would rather, in

order to make up a round sum, include a couple of my thorough-bred

dogs, or a gold watch-guard."

"Very well," Tchichikoff answered.

"How many draughtsmen will you give me in advance?" demanded Nosdrieff.

"How did you come upon this idea? certainly none."

"At least give me the two first moves."

"No, I won't, I am a bad player myself."

"I believe you, my boy, you and a bad player!" exclaimed Nosdrieff,

whilst pushing forward a draughtsman.

"I have not played draughts for a long while," said Tchichikoff, whilst

also advancing a draughtsman.

"I believe you, my boy, you and a bad player," said Nosdrieff, pushing

forward another draughtsman.

"I have not been playing for a very long while," Tchichikoff said, also

advancing a draughtsman.

"I believe you, my boy, you and a bad player," said Nosdrieff, whilst

again moving a draughtsman, and at the same time he advanced a second

one with the sleeve of his Turkish morning-gown.

"'Tis long ago since I took them last in my hands--oh, eh! my dear

fellow, what is this? put that back!" said Tchichikoff.

"What?"

"This draughtsman there," said Tchichikoff, but at the same time he

saw another before his very nose, ready to enter and become a king,

but from where it came, and how it could have so suddenly advanced,

it was impossible for Tchichikoff to account. "No," said Tchichikoff,

rising from table, "it is impossible to play with you! To advance three

draughtsmen at once is against the rules of the game altogether."

"How do you mean, three men at once? That was a mistake. One of them

might have advanced accidentally, I'll move it back if you like."

"But where does that other come from?"

"Which other?"

"This one here, ready to become a king."

"Well, I'm sure, don't you recollect it?"

"Certainly not, my dear fellow, I have noticed every move, and I

remember them all; you have only just now advanced it. Its place is

here."

"How, where is its place?" said Nosdrieff, blushing deeply, "but, my

dear fellow, it seems to me that you would like to take me in."

"No, not I, my dear fellow, but it is evident that you want to do so

with me, only you are rather unsuccessful."

"For whom do you take me?" said Nosdrieff, "do you think that I could

be capable of shuffling?"

"I do not take you for anybody, but from henceforth I shall never play

with you again."

"But stop, you can't back out of this game, you have began it, you must

play it out," said Nosdrieff hotly.

"I have the right to refuse, because you have not been playing as it

becomes a gentleman."

"You lie, for you cannot prove it!"

"No, my dear fellow, it's you who are the liar!"

"I have not been shuffling, you dare not refuse to continue, and you

must finish the game."

"You cannot compel me to do that," said Tchichikoff coolly, and

approaching the table, he upset the draughtsmen.

Nosdrieff jumped from his seat in a rage, and drew so close to

Tchichikoff that he made him step back two paces.

"I shall oblige you to play it out. It matters little, that the

draughtsmen are mixed. I remember every move. We will arrange them

again as they were."

"No, my dear fellow, there is an end to it, I shall not play with you."

"Then you positively refuse to finish the game?"

"You must allow yourself that it is impossible to play with you."

"Now, you obstinate fellow, tell me once more, will you or will you

not play?" spoke Nosdrieff wildly, whilst walking still closer up to

Tchichikoff.

"I will not!" Tchichikoff exclaimed, but at the same time he raised his

hands towards his face ready for any contingency, because the matter

threatened to become rather hot. This precaution was taken in good

time, because Nosdrieff in his excitement had raised his hand, and it

might easily have happened, that one of the full and agreeable cheeks

of our hero, would have been covered with dishonour, which could not

be washed away; but he fortunately succeeded in escaping the blow, and

seized the madly infuriated Nosdrieff by both hands, and held him

tightly.

"Porphir! Ivan!" shouted Nosdrieff in his madness, whilst striving to

liberate himself from Tchichikoff's powerful grasp.

Hearing these names, Tchichikoff, in order not to have the servants

witnesses to a scandalous scene, and feeling convinced also, that to

holding Nosdrieff any longer would be of no advantage to him, he let

loose his hands. At that same moment, Porphir entered the room followed

by Ivan, a herculean looking fellow, with whom it would not have been

advisable to pick a quarrel.

"Then you refuse to finish the game?" said Nosdrieff. "Give me a

positive answer quickly, you obstinate blockhead!"

"It is impossible to finish the game," answered Tchichikoff, and looked

out of the window at the same time; he beheld his britchka, which was

standing there quite ready, and Selifan seemed to wait but for a signal

to drive up to the door; but it was impossible for Tchichikoff to leave

the room, the door was guarded by two powerful slaves and tools of

Nosdrieffs.

"Then you positively refuse to finish the game?" demanded again

Nosdrieff, with a face as red hot as fire.

"If you had been playing as becomes a gentleman, I would have finished

it, but now I cannot."

"Ah! you say you cannot, you humbug, when you see that you are likely

to lose the game, then it is that you cannot play! Horsewhip him,"

he shouted, in a hoarse and infuriated voice, whilst turning towards

Porphir and Ivan, and seizing himself a long cherry pipe tube.

Tchichikoff became as pale and white as a sheet. He had evidently an

intention to say something, but he felt, that his lips moved without

speaking a word.

"Horsewhip him!" Nosdrieff again shouted, rushing forward, with the

cherry tube uplifted in his hand, all excited and perspiring, as if

he was about to storm an impregnable fortress. "Beat him!" he shouted

in the same voice with which, in the heat of an onset some valorous

lieutenant would address his men and say, "forward, children," and

whose daring has become so well known throughout the regiment, that

special orders are always given that he should be kept back with the

rear guard, whenever an action of importance is undertaken.

But the fortress, against which Nosdrieff was storming, was far from

being impregnable, on the contrary, its outworks betrayed her inward

weakness, and its fear was so great, that the commander-in-chief--the

soul--went to hide himself in his heels.

The chair with which Tchichikoff attempted to defend himself, was

wrenched from his hands by Nosdrieff's serfs, and bereft of this last

hope he closed his eyes and felt neither dead nor alive, yet he tried

to grasp once more at the Tcherkessian pipe of his brutal host, and

heaven knows, what the consequences might have been. But providence

seemed to pity the position as well as the ribs, shoulders, and all the

well-formed portions of our hero.

At this unexpected yet opportune moment, the sounds of post-horse

bells were heard loudly ringing in the court-yard, and the wheels of

a carriage rolled quickly over the stones before the entrance of the

house. It was a telega, drawn by three horses, that had arrived so

suddenly; shortly after, heavy footsteps were heard quickly approaching

the room in which the actors of our present narrative were so

dramatically collected.

They all looked involuntarily out of the window, and beheld a

stranger in moustachios, dressed in a half military and half plain

coat, alighting from the telega. Having taken his information in the

anteroom, he entered at the very moment when Tchichikoff had not yet

recovered from his stupefaction, and when he was in the most pitiable

position in which a mortal man can possibly be.

"Allow me to ask which of you two gentlemen is Mr. Nosdrieff," said

the stranger, looking with some astonishment at Nosdrieff, who stood

there with the cherry pipe tube in his uplifted hand, and then at

Tchichikoff, who had scarcely begun to recover from his disadvantageous

position.

"Allow me first to ask you with whom I have the honour of speaking?"

said Nosdrieff, whilst approaching the stranger.

"I am a commissioner of the military police."

"And what do you wish?"

"I come to inform you that in obedience to higher commands, I shall

consider you my prisoner until proper inquiries will have been

instituted into the affair in which you are compromised."

"What nonsense! What affair do you mean?" demanded Nosdrieff.

"You were inculpated in an affair, or rather a riot, in which a certain

lieutenant of the guards, by name Maksimoff was insulted and even

horsewhipped, whilst in a state of intoxication."

"That is perfectly false, Sir! I never saw in the whole course of my

life your lieutenant Maksimoff!"

"My dear Sir, allow me to inform you that I am an officer. You may call

your servants liars but not me."

Tchichikoff did not wait to hear what Nosdrieff would reply to this

observation, but seized his cap, passed stealthily behind the back of

the commissary of the military police, and left the room. He was soon

seated in his britchka, and ordered Selifan to drive off as fast as his

horses could gallop.

CHAPTER XXII.

Our hero was still considerably terrified at the thought of his narrow

escape. Although the britchka was literally flying at a fearful

speed, and Nosdrieff's village nearly lost in the distance, hidden by

fields, slopes and hills, yet he still continued to turn round, and

cast glances of terror behind him, as if expecting to see suddenly his

pursuers.

His breathing was short and interrupted, and when he laid his hand upon

his broad breast to feel the beating of his heart, he felt it throbbing

like that of a quail in a cage.

"Oh! what a regular shower-bath! How could I ever expect that of the

fellow!" Such exclamations were followed by a variety of difficult

and strong wishes for the future of Nosdrieff, and were concluded by

epithets certainly not of the choicest language.

"Say what I may," Tchichikoff remarked confidentially to himself,

"without the sudden appearance of the commissioner of the military

police, I might at this present moment be one less among the living

in this world! I should have disappeared like a bubble on the ocean,

without leaving a trace behind me, no heirs or children to inherit my

honourable name, my modest fortune!" Our hero seemed very anxious and

concerned about his successors.

"What a nasty gentleman!" thought Selifan. "I have never seen such an

ill-disposed man before. He deserves to be despised. I could rather see

a man without food, but a horse must be fed because a horse likes oats.

That is the proper food for his maintenance. What meat is to us, so is

oats to the horse, and that is the proper food for horses."

The horses also seemed to have a bad opinion of Nosdrieff; not only the

leader and the brown horse, but even the tiger-spotted idler seemed to

be in bad humour. Although the idler was used to receive less good oats

generally, and was also accustomed never to have them given to him by

Selifan, without being previously called a rogue, yet in this instance

he seemed quite disgusted; for notwithstanding the scolding he received

his fair portion of oats, and not as now, common hay; he used to eat

his bad oats with pleasure, and after, even put his enormous head into

the crib of his comrades to see what good things they were enjoying.

This he did especially when Selifan was not in the stable; but now they

had had nothing else but hay, that was bad; all three were dissatisfied.

But soon after, the whole batch of malcontents were suddenly and

unexpectedly interrupted in the effusion of their wrath against

Nosdrieff in an unexpected manner. All, not excluding even the

coachman, recovered and came to their senses again, when they felt

themselves in contact with a travelling-carriage, drawn by six powerful

horses, and heard the shrieks of ladies sitting inside, and the

scolding and swearing of the strange coachman.

"Oh, you scoundrel! did I not shout to you as loudly as possible! Turn

to the right, you crow! Are you drunk, or what else is the matter with

you?"

Selifan felt at once that he was on the wrong side, but as a Russian

does not like to acknowledge his error before another, he therefore

shouted forth his reply with an air of importance:

"And what do you mean by driving like a madman? Have you, perhaps, left

your eyes in pawn at a dram-shop?"

After having spoken thus, he endeavoured to back his britchka, trying

to liberate his horses, which had become entangled with those of the

other carriage; however, he only succeeded in making things worse.

The ladies sitting in the carriage looked at the scene of confusion

before them with the utmost terror expressed upon their faces. The one

was an elderly lady; the other, a young person about sixteen years of

age, with golden ringlets, very tastefully arranged around a pretty

face and head. The charming oval of her face was as evenly formed as

a new-laid egg, and, like it, it possessed that peculiar transparent

whiteness which is only to be seen in a new-laid egg, when held up

towards the light by the gentle hand of a clever housekeeper, who

is examining its freshness by allowing the rays of the sun to shine

through it; her finely-shaped ears seemed also equally transparent,

and were intersected by warmly-flowing veins. From the sudden fright,

her rosy lips had opened to display a range of ivory teeth, and tears

were sparkling in her eyes. All this was so charming in her, that our

hero glanced at her for some moments quite motionless, and paying no

attention whatever to the dispute which had arisen between the two

coachmen and their horses.

"Will you back your horses, you Novgorodian crow?" shouted the strange

coachman.

Selifan tugged at his reins; the strange driver did as much, and the

horses, in obedience to the impulse, retreated a little, and then came

into contact again, were anew entangled, and the confusion was greater

than before.

While the confusion was thus growing worse confounded, some peasants

began to gather round the carriages and horses; they came running as

fast as they could from an adjoining village; and as such a sight is

for a Russian peasant like a Christmas-box, or like a newspaper and a

glass of stout would be to an Englishman, so but little time elapsed

before the carriages were both surrounded by a few hundred gaping

mouzhiks, and the village was left to the care of only old women and

young children. The entangled traces were soon cut; a few heavy blows

applied to the head of the tiger-spotted idler made him retreat; in a

word, the horses were soon separated and led aside.

The interest and the curiosity of the gaping peasants rose to an

incredible degree. Every one of them was anxious to give an advice or a

suggestion:

"You go, Andrushka, and lead that front horse a little about, the one

that is standing on the right-hand side from us; and Uncle Mitja would

do well to mount the tiger-spotted animal! Get on his back, Mitja!"

During the time that Selifan and the strange coachman were arranging

the traces of their respective horses, Tchichikoff had continued to

look very attentively at the young lady stranger. He made an attempt

to address her several times, but, somehow or another, he thought

there was no favourable opportunity. Meanwhile, the ladies drove off,

the pretty head, and face with the fine outlines, the slender figure,

all disappeared like an apparition; and there remained nothing but

the high-road, the britchka, the three horses already familiar to our

reader, Selifan, and the level and empty fields surrounding them.

"A charming little woman!" said he, whilst opening his snuff-box,

and taking a pinch of snuff. "But what is the most handsome thing

about her? It is pleasant to see, that she seems just to have left

a boarding-school, or some such institution, and that there is yet

nothing womanly, or rather matronly about her, and that is one of the

most unpleasing features in the sex. She is still like a child, all in

her is still natural, she will speak what she thinks, she will laugh

at every thing that pleases her. She might yet be taught any thing and

every thing, she might become an accomplished and virtuous woman, and

she might also turn out the very contrary. If she now happens to come

under the control and advice of her mother or aunts, then farewell

natural innocence! In a year they will have changed her so completely

by instilling into her, what they are pleased to term the dignities of

a woman, that her own father will have every difficulty to recognise,

in that young person, his own daughter.

"From the elder ladies, she will derive conceitedness and affected

manners, move about according to the dictates of fashion, torment her

brains to know, with whom, about what, and how much she might venture

to speak, and especially how to look at them; every moment she will

be alarmed least she should speak more than is strictly necessary. At

last, she will become confused from so much unnatural exertion, and

dissimulation will become natural to her, and then--heaven knows what

she may come to next!"

Having spoken thus much to himself, Tchichikoff remained silent for

some moments, and then he added:

"It would be rather satisfactory to know who she is? Yes, what her

father might be? Is he perhaps a rich landed proprietor of high

respectability, or simply a respectable man with a large fortune

acquired in serving his country? Because, let me suppose, that this

pretty little girl receives but five thousand roubles as a marriage

gift, she would become a most acceptable, nay a very enticing little

woman. And this would constitute, so to say, the happiness of a

respectable man."

The sum of five thousand roubles represented itself so attractively

to his mind, that he began to scold himself inwardly for not having

obtained some information about who the ladies were from their

coachman, during the time that the confusion among the horses lasted.

Soon after, however, the appearance of Sobakevitch's village began to

distract his attention from the ladies, and he returned to his friend

and more serious purposes.

The village seemed to him tolerably large, and even of importance;

there were two forests, the one of birch-trees, the other of pines,

the one of a gay colour, the other dark, spread out like wings on the

right and left of the village; in the centre of it stood a large wooden

building with a balcony, a roof with red tiles, and dark grey painted

walls, the style of architecture reminding one of a barrack, or the

primitive buildings of German emigrants.

It was evident that the builder of this house must have been in

continual opposition to the taste of the owner. The builder was a

pedant, and adhered to symmetry, the owner preferred conformity to the

purpose, and, thus it seemed that in consequence of the differences of

taste, the lawful lord of the mansion had blocked up the windows of the

whole of one of the fronts of the house, and left only a small aperture

instead, no doubt to serve as a skylight to some lumber-room.

The principal entrance to the house stood by no means in the centre,

notwithstanding the good intents of the architect, because the owner

of it had ordered one of the side columns to be removed and thus the

principal entrance did not display as originally intended four columns,

but only three. The whole of the court-yard was enclosed by a strong

and unusually thick wooden wall. The proprietor seemed to have been

particularly concerned about everything being of the greatest possible

durability.

Upon the construction of his stables, penthouse and kitchen, he had

employed full grown and heavy logs calculated to last an eternity. The

houses of his peasants in the village were also of a wonderfully strong

and lasting construction, they nowhere displayed any of the common

gingerbread ornaments, but every one of them was a solid mass of logs

of wood. Even the wall was enclosed by such large stems of fir as would

only be employed as sleepers for a railway, or in the construction

of ships. In a word, upon whatever kind of building Tchichikoff

happened to cast a glance, his sight met with a _pièce de résistance_,

unmistakeable, presenting a durable but clumsy appearance.

END OF VOL. I.

HOME LIFE IN RUSSIA,

BY

A RUSSIAN NOBLE.

REVISED

BY THE EDITOR OF

REVELATIONS OF SIBERIA.

IN TWO VOLUMES.

VOL. II.

LONDON:

HURST AND BLACKETT, PUBLISHERS,

SUCCESSORS TO HENRY COLBURN,

13, GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET.

1854.

HOME LIFE IN RUSSIA.

CHAPTER I.

On driving up to the entrance-hall, Tchichikoff beheld two faces at

once, looking out through the window: the one was a feminine face,

narrow and long, like a cucumber; the other was the round face of a

man, broad like a Moldavian pumpkin, out of which our Russian peasants

are accustomed to make their light and two-stringed balalaikas, the

charming instrument with which, some handsome cock of the village will

on a fine summer's evening gather young and old around him, and sing

and whistle some merry ditty to the white-bosomed maiden of his heart,

who delights in the slow and melancholy strains of his music.

The two faces which had just presented themselves at the window

disappeared again suddenly. A servant, dressed in a grey jacket with a

blue upstanding collar, came out upon the landing and led Tchichikoff

into a reception-room, in which soon after the host himself made his

appearance. Perceiving and recognizing who his guest was, the host

exclaimed abruptly: "Pray, enter!" and he led him into the interior of

his house.

As Tchichikoff cast a side glance upon Sobakevitch, the man seemed

to him very much like a bear of the middle size. To complete this

resemblance, he wore a coat perfectly of the colour of a bear's skin,

with large sleeves, and a pair of large inexpressibles. His walk was by

starts, sideways and bent together, and he was in the continual habit

of treading upon other people's feet. His complexion was of a glowing,

hot colour, like that of a new penny.

Tchichikoff glanced once more and stealthily at him as they were

passing the dining-room; "A bear, a complete bear!" he thought to

himself. It was impossible to conceive a more striking resemblance.

Knowing that he had the habit of trampling upon other persons' feet,

our hero was very careful how he placed his, and allowed him to walk

before him. The host seemed to feel the sin of his awkwardness and

immediately turned round and said, "Have I, by any chance, hurt you?"

But Tchichikoff thanked him, and said, "That as yet he had not felt any

inconvenience."

On entering the reception-room, Sobakevitch pointed to an arm-chair,

saying again, abruptly, "Pray be seated!" In sitting down Tchichikoff

looked at the walls and the pictures that were hanging on them. The

pictures all represented finely grown men, apparently the leaders of

the last struggle for Hellenic independence; they were full-sized

engravings; Mavrocordato in a pair of red breeches and military dress,

with a pair of spectacles upon his nose; Miaouli and Kanaris.

All these heroes were represented with such enormous ties-and

extraordinary moustachios, that the sight of them made Tchichikoff

shudder. Among the heroic Hellenes there was also the portrait of the

Russian General Bagration, memorable for his services in the year

1812, a meagre, careworn old man; heaven knows why he had been placed

among these dashing heroes. Next came the portrait of the Grecian

heroine, Bobelina, whose foot seemed to be larger than the whole trunk

of any of the fashionables of our present drawing-rooms.

The host being a healthy and strong-built man himself, seemed to like

that his rooms should also be adorned with the portraits of strong and

healthy persons. Close to the Grecian heroine, Bobelina, and quite

close to the window, hung a cage, from which a well-fed blackbird was

peeping out, which was also very much like Sobakevitch.

The guest and host had not been silent for two minutes, when the door

suddenly opened and the lady hostess made her appearance, a lady

of a very high figure, in a cap profusely ornamented with ribbons,

which seemed to have been dyed at home. She entered the room very

ceremoniously, holding her head as straight as a palm-tree.

"This is my beloved Pheodulia Ivanovna!" said Sobakevitch.

Tchichikoff respectfully approached Pheodulia Ivanovna, and according

to Russian fashion, kissed her hand, which she nearly pushed between

his lips, at the same time he had an opportunity to observe, or rather

smell, that her hands had been washed in salt cucumber water.

"My darling, allow me to introduce you to Pavel Ivanovitch

Tchichikoff!" continued Sobakevitch, "I had the honour of making his

acquaintance at our Lord-Lieutenant's, and at the Postmaster-general's."

Pheodulia Ivanovna asked Tchichikoff to sit down, saying also very

abruptly, "I beg you will be seated!" and making a peculiar movement

with her head, not unlike that of an actress playing a tragedy queen.

After having done this, she seated herself upon the sofa, covered

herself with a merino shawl, and did not again move either her eyes or

her lips.

Tchichikoff lifted up his eyes again and beheld once more the Grecian

hero, Kanaris, with his enormous ties and interminable moustachios, as

well as the heroine, Bobelina, and the blackbird in its cage.

For more than five minutes all three remained silent; the only sign

of animation proceeded from the blackbird, who was pecking the wood

of his cage with his beak, and gathering the bread crumbs on the

bottom of it. Tchichikoff glanced once more around the room, and all,

whatever his eyes beheld--all was solid, clumsy, and tasteless in the

highest degree, and had a particular and strange resemblance to the

host himself; in one of the corners of the room, there stood a large

paunch-bellied nutwood bureau, upon four shapeless legs, a perfect

bear. The table, the arm-chairs, the common chairs, all were of the

most heavy and uncomfortable description, in a word, every article

which constituted the furniture of this room seemed to speak; and I am

also Sobakevitch!

"We have been thinking of you at the house of the President of the

Courts of Justice, Ivan Gregorievitch," at last said Tchichikoff,

perceiving that no one seemed inclined to break the silence and begin

to speak, "we thought of you on Thursday last. I spent a very pleasant

evening there."

"True, I was not at the President's on that evening," answered

Sobakevitch.

"He is an excellent and worthy man!" exclaimed Tchichikoff.

"Whom do you mean?" said Sobakevitch, looking at the corner of his

store.

"The President of the Courts of Justice, to be sure."

"Well, he might have seemed so to you; he is a freemason, and such a

fool, that the world cannot produce his equal."

Tchichikoff was rather startled when he heard this cutting

qualification of a person he knew, but recovering immediately from his

surprise, he continued: "To be sure, every man has his foibles, but I

cannot help expressing my admiration for the Governor-General."

"The Lord-Lieutenant, a man worthy of admiration?"

"Yes, and I hope you will agree with me in that opinion?"

"He is the greatest scoundrel on the face of the earth."

"What did you say? the Governor-General the greatest scoundrel?"

exclaimed Tchichikoff, perfectly incapable of comprehending how the

Lord-Lieutenant of the government of Smolensk could possibly have

entered the ranks of scoundrels.

"I must confess, I should never have believed that," he continued.

"However, allow me to observe, his actions do not at all seem such,

on the contrary, I should rather say that I believe him a man who

possesses many pleasant weaknesses." Here he also alluded to the

knitting and embroidery talents of his Excellency the Lord-Lieutenant

of the province, as an authority for his opinion of him, and expressed

himself in the highest terms of the winning expression of the

Governor-General's countenance.

"And his face even, is that of a scoundrel!" said Sobakevitch. "Only

place a knife in his hands, and let him free upon the high road, he

will cut your throat, he will murder you even for a copek! He and the

Vice-Governor, also, are of the same cast, they both are Gog and

Magog."

"No, I cannot be mistaken, he is not on good terms with them," thought

Tchichikoff to himself. "And I think I shall do better to speak to him

about the Chief of the Police force, he seems to be his friend."

"However, as far as I am personally concerned," he said, "I must

confess that I like the Chief Commissioner of the Police force better

than any other dignitary in Smolensk. He is such a straightforward and

candid man, his face speaks in his favour, and proclaims his kindness

of heart."

"He is a rogue," said Sobakevitch very coolly, "he will sell you,

betray you, and then even dine with you! I know them all but too well;

they are all great rogues, the whole town of Smolensk is inhabited by

such men; a rogue sitting on a rogue, and driving on a batch of rogues.

All are Christian sellers. To my knowledge, there is but one honest man

among them, and that man is the Imperial Procurator; but even he, if we

were to judge him strictly, even he is a pig."

After such laudatory, though rather short biographies, Tchichikoff

perceived that it would be useless to mention any other of the

dignitaries of Smolensk, and then only he recollected that Sobakevitch

was not in the habit of having a good opinion of any one.

"Come, my darling, let us now go to dinner," said the worthy spouse,

Lady Sobakevitch, to her husband.

"Allow me to invite you to dinner," said Sobakevitch. After saying

which he advanced towards a table, upon which an introductory meal

had been placed; the host and his guest each drank, as is customary,

a small glass of brandy, and had a bit of salt fish, or some such

appetite-stimulating foretastes, and in doing thus, they but did what

is customary in every town and village throughout the vast Russian

Empire; thus excited and prepared, they entered the dining-room, into

which they followed the hostess, who led them on like a goose her

goslings.

A small table was laid for four persons. The fourth place was soon

occupied, but it was difficult to say affirmatively by whom, whether

that person was a lady or a girl, relation, a guest or friend living in

the house; she was not adorned with a cap, was about thirty years of

age, and wore a variegated dress.

"Your cabbage-soup, my darling, is delicious to-day," said Sobakevitch

to his wife, whilst cutting and helping himself to a second enormous

piece of stuffing, and putting it into his soup. This stuffing, as it

might be called, for want of a better denomination in the English

language, is a well-known dish in every Russian household, and is

always served together with the national sour cabbage-soup; it is

made of the ventricles, head, and feet of a sheep, and stuffed with

buck-wheat grits.

"Such stuffing," he continued, turning towards Tchichikoff, "you could

not get to eat in town, where they have the habit of serving you with

Heaven knows what stuff!"

"The Lord-Lieutenant's dinners, however, are not so contemptible," said

Tchichikoff.

"Do you know how and of what stuff his dinners are made? If you knew

it, I'm sure you would not eat them."

"I do not know how they are prepared, and therefore cannot judge; but

his pork-chops and boiled flounders were delicious."

"It seemed so to you. But I know well what they buy in the market.

Their cook, the impudent fellow, who seems to have learnt his art in

France, is capable of buying a cat, skinning it, roasting it, and

serving it up as a hare."

"Fie! what an unpleasant allusion you make," said his wife.

"And why so, my dear? it is a fact, and I am sure they do that, if not

even worse. All that we would throw away in our country kitchen, the

town people would put in their soup, and find it even a delicacy--yes,

a delicacy. Such is their taste!"

"You are always in the habit of talking such nonsense at table," said

his wife, with an evident air of displeasure.

"Why, my heart," said Sobakevitch, "if I was to do it myself, it would

be a different thing; but I tell you candidly that I will never eat any

of their stuff. You may cover a frog with a crust of sugar, and yet I

would not take it into my mouth, nor what they call oysters; I know

what oysters are like."

"Take some mutton," he continued, addressing himself to Tchichikoff;

"this is a shoulder of mutton with grits. This is not a stew, as they

make it in town kitchens, where they employ mutton which has been

offered for sale for three or four days in the market."

Hereupon Sobakevitch shook his head angrily, whilst adding:

"When I am to have some roast or boiled pork, let me have the whole pig

on the table; if some mutton, I want to look at the whole animal; if a

goose, let me have the whole bird. I would rather feed on ope dish, but

feed to my heart's content."

Sobakevitch confirmed this principle by the deed: he placed the half of

the shoulder of mutton on his plate, ate it all, picked and licked over

the bones to the last.

"Yes," thought Tchichikoff to himself, "his lips are as good as his

mouth."

"It is not so with me," said Sobakevitch, whilst wiping his hands and

mouth on a napkin, "it is not with me as it is with a Pluschkin; he has

eight hundred serfs, but eats a worse dinner than any of my shepherds."

"Who is this Pluschkin?" inquired Tchichikoff.

"A scoundrel," answered Sobakevitch. "His avarice is so great that you

cannot form an idea of it. A prisoner lives better than him. He nearly

starves all his peasants."

"Really!" Tchichikoff exclaimed, with evident interest; "and you

believe that many of his serfs have died from want?"

"They die like flies."

"Do they really! But allow me to ask you, how far he lives from your

estate?"

"About five wersts."

"About five wersts!" Tchichikoff exclaimed again, and even felt a

perceptible pulsation of the heart. "But if I was to drive out of your

court-yard, would it be on the right or on the left-hand side?"

"I would not advise you even to know the road to that dog's kennel!"

said Sobakevitch. "It is more excusable to visit some forbidden place,

than the house of such a man as Pluschkin."

"Oh no, I did not ask that for any particular purpose; but simply

because I take an interest in knowing something about places and

positions of every description," was the reply of Tchichikoff.

After the shoulder of mutton followed some flounders, of which each

was considerably larger than the plates; then a turkey, nearly of the

size of a young calf, stuffed with all kinds of good things--with eggs,

rice, liver, and a variety of other condiments, which all had been

pressed into the fowl's stomach.

With the turkey, the dinner had an end; but when they rose from the

table, Tchichikoff felt heavier by at least half a hundredweight. They

entered the reception-room, where some sweetmeats, such as pears,

cherries, strawberries and other berries, preserved in sugar or honey,

were displayed on small china plates; however, neither the guest nor

the host could or would touch any. The lady hostess left the room for

the purpose of displaying some other kind upon other small plates, in

the hope that her guest would like to taste some of them. Profiting

by her momentary absence, Tchichikoff turned towards Sobakevitch, who

was lying in an arm-chair, and groaning after such a more than copious

dinner, and allowing some indistinct sounds to escape from his mouth,

using the one hand to make the sign of the cross, and holding the other

before his mouth. Tchichikoff addressed him in the following words:

"I should have liked to speak to you about a certain little business."

"Here are some more sweetmeats," said the hostess, returning with some

few small plates; "these are very rare fruits, and preserved in honey."

"Very well, my darling, we'll taste them later," said Sobakevitch.

"You had better now return into your own room, for Pavel Ivanovitch and

myself are going to take off our coats and rest ourselves a little."

Lady Sobakevitch offered to send in some soft pillows, but her husband

opposed it, and answered her, "Never mind, we will take our rest in

these arm-chairs;" and the lady left the room.