AN EVENTFUL DAY.
Mary's health improved rapidly after her interview with Catherine King,
painful though it had been. A great weight was taken off her mind by the
full confession she had made.
One day, about a week subsequent to that confession, as the weather was
warm and seemed to be settled, Mrs. White, who was ever planning some
little amusement or other to distract the girl from her gloomy thoughts,
proposed that they should drive with the children the next morning to a
certain pleasant wood on the banks of the Wey some five miles off, and
take their lunch with them.
The children were delighted at the prospect of a picnic, and watched the
preparations that were made for it during the afternoon with the keenest
interest. When everything had been packed up ready for the morrow, a
telegram was brought to Mrs. White.
She read it, and a smile of pleasure lit up her face. "Mary," she said,
"I am afraid we must postpone our picnic after all. My brother Harry is
coming down here to-morrow to see us."
Mary blushed slightly. "The poor children will be very disappointed if
they do not have their picnic," she replied, feeling compelled to make
some remark to cover the confusion which this sudden news produced in
her.
The widow looked at her with rather an amused expression. "Well, Mary,"
she said "after all there is no great necessity for altering our plans.
Harry can come with us. I will telegraph to him that we will meet him at
the station. It is a pity though that he has to return to town in the
evening."
The morrow proved to be a beautiful day. It was in the month of May, and
the pulse of young life beat with pleasurable quickness through all
animate Nature.
Mary felt unusually well and happy as they drove through the fresh
morning air to Farnham station, where Dr. Duncan was to be met. The
spirit of the spring stirred her blood and exhilarated her in an
unwonted fashion. She could have sung for joy. Her heart felt full of
love for these innocent friends around her, for the glorious sunshine,
and for the kind warm breeze that kissed her pale cheeks and ruffled her
soft hair.
She wondered how it was that the Shadow seemed to be so far away. That
sick dread, that terrible presence which she always felt to be so near,
so ready to fall, even in her happiest moods, seemed this day to be
removed to a vague and immense distance. It had never been so far off
before. A presentiment came to her that it was soon to be removed
altogether, that it would fall away from her, and that she would know
peace at last. It was as if the happiness of death was coming over her,
so deeply calm was her delight. She mused to herself how sweet indeed it
would be to die on this delicious spring day, with the fresh breeze and
the sunlight around her--to fade away and be at rest, ere the sun set
and the darkness and the cold came on, bringing with them the shadow.
The carriage with its merry party at last reached Farnham Station. The
train by which the doctor was expected had not yet come in, so they had
to wait there for some minutes.
The cessation of the motion of the carriage turned the course of Mary's
thoughts. Her happy dream passed away. A vague uneasiness stole over
her; and she began to realize, in a vivid manner she had not done so
far, that this was to be an eventful day in her life--she was to see
her lover. What could she reply if he asked again that question so sweet
and yet so bitter that he had asked her on that misty autumn afternoon
in London--so long ago it now seemed to her?
Things had much changed with her since then. She was no longer the
infanticide, the atheist, the wretched being separated from all human
sympathies. She asked herself whether marriage with the man she
worshipped was now altogether so impossible a happiness as it had been
then! She thrilled at the thought. What should she reply were he to ask
that question again?
She knew not what she ought to do, all the future seemed still so
unsettled and cloudy. It was true that she had told Catherine all--that
she had abandoned the Sisterhood; but was that enough? The secret was
still with her. The Society would some day commence its horrible work.
So her thought was confused between a great dismay, and a dream of
wonderful delight, and her perplexed mind could make nothing of the
puzzle. She could not marry this man with that secret on her mind--she
ought not to keep that from him--yet how could she betray Catherine King
and the Sisterhood.
The bell rang, there was a bustling of porters, and then the train from
London thundered into the station.
Mary forgot her trouble for the time: with eyes dim with emotion, she
looked out timidly yet eagerly from under the cover of her broad straw
hat, as the passengers trooped out into the white road.
Yes! there he was at last, handsomer than ever, he seemed to her, and
she was filled with pride to see how his noble head towered above all
the men by his side.
He came out and joyously saluted his sister and her children, then he
shook hands with Mary quietly, his clasp of the little hand that was so
dear to him lingering almost imperceptibly, and he felt that she was
trembling.
But it was no time just then for love-making. The children were
clustering round their uncle, pestering him for the chocolate or other
delicacies which they knew he would have brought down for them. So
laughing and joking, the merry party drove off at a rapid pace along the
dazzling white roads that wound among the pleasant Surrey hills, until a
spot was reached where the carriage had to be left. Then they carried
the kettle and provisions for a hundred yards or so through the woods,
till they came to a place on the river bank where a huge oak tree spread
its branches over a space of soft green turf. Here they pitched their
camp and lit their fire.
Beautiful indeed is this portion of the county of Surrey. Between
Farnham and Godalming the river Wey, whose surface is here never
disturbed by the frailest boat, winds down a valley of great loveliness.
Steep hills descend to its waters, clothed with fine trees and close
bushwood; the mossy interspaces being glorious with a profusion of
wood-anemones primroses and hyacinths in the early part of the year, and
of purple foxgloves in the ripe summer. For a considerable distance no
road is visible to one following the river, nor any sign of man's
presence. Indeed so wild and lonely is the scenery, that one might
easily imagine oneself to be on some unexplored stream of the Western
World, instead of being in the county of Surrey, an easy day's march
from Charing Cross.
It was a day to be remembered by all of that party as a happy one. To
Mary it was to be the sweetest so far of her young life.
After lunch the two lovers separated from the others. They walked
together through the woods by the river bank, and he gathered for her a
nosegay of the wild spring flowers.
After a short time he stood still, and turning to her said, "Ah, Mary!
how I have looked forward to seeing you again! And how well you are
looking! I did not dare to hope that you would recover so quickly. You
know how impatient I must have become at being so long banished from
your side; but I thought it better not to come here till you were much
stronger. It would have been cruel to come and trouble you before!"
"Trouble me!" she exclaimed raising her eyes to his with a look of
surprise.
"Yes, Mary!" he continued sadly, "for whenever I saw you before, my
presence seemed to cause you pain and sorrow."
She turned her eyes from him and gazed pensively towards the distant
hills beyond the river.
He spoke again in a troubled voice, "Mary, oh, Mary! do not turn away
from me. Look at me and reply to the question I am going to ask. You
must do so!" he raised his voice in passionate earnestness and seized
her hand. "You must reply, this last time, I know you will; for you are
too kind and womanly to torture me any longer with suspense."
She looked up at him without speaking, but he read encouragement in the
look and continued, "Mary, I must speak to you again of my love. It
grieved you once. You told me all hope was impossible. You implored me,
in a manner that terrified me, never to speak to you of love again; but
you confessed you loved me a little."
He hesitated when he uttered the last words, and waited with an intense
anxiety for her reply.
"I do!" she said with a simple earnestness, "I love you very much."
"My darling!" he cried, "my whole life is yours. Even if you still
refuse to marry me, I can never again love another after loving you. But
what did you mean by those cruel words you spoke before? You told me to
go from you, never to see you again. You said love between us was
altogether impossible. You do not still think that? Oh, tell me, Mary.
It is cruel to leave me in this fearful suspense."
She looked down on the ground and said mournfully, "I don't know--indeed
I don't know."
"But it is not so impossible now as it was then?" he cried eagerly.
"No! it is not," she said in a low voice speaking to herself rather than
to him.
Then an infinite joy rushed into the man's soul, and his eyes sparkled
and his cheek flushed. He had come down here in an almost hopeless
spirit; he remembered how emphatic she had been before in refusing his
love--with what horror and vague hints of an impassable barrier between
them she had rejected him--and, lo! now she had allowed that his heart's
sole desire was no longer impossible of attainment--there was hope for
him, nay more, there was certain victory!
He raised her face to his and kissed her passionately on her mouth and
eyes. This time she did not tear herself away from his embrace, but
remained in his arms trembling.
He released her and gazed with keen delight at her beautiful flushed
face.
She was frightened at his passion, and was filled with wonder that he
should feel thus towards her. She understood how she or any woman could
love this good and noble man; but why should he worship in this way one
so unworthy as her! He must surely have mistaken her true nature; she
must in some way have unwittingly deceived him.
"Then I may hope to make you my wife?" he asked in a voice of ecstacy.
She lowered her eyes again. "You ought not to make _me_ your wife. You
deserve a good woman," then she continued timidly in a low voice that
was delicious to him, "Would it make you much happier, dear?"
"Dear!" How that word coming from her lips for the first time stirred
him!
"Happier!" he cried. "Oh, my darling! my darling!"
A blush half of joy, half of shame, again suffused her cheeks, and she
said, "For your sake, to make you happy, I would do all you willed; but
still--still--I doubt very much--whether I should make you happier if I
consented to be your wife."
"I have no doubt at all about it, my darling," he exclaimed; "but I
don't want you to marry me, to please _me_ only;" then looking at her
face he was satisfied on that point and said no more.
He seized her hand, and they walked on through the green woods hand in
hand, now conversing in low tones, now in happy silence.
They acted as most true lovers do under like circumstances, and felt, as
most true lovers do, that no others since the world began could have
loved so well as they. It was all so strange to Mary; too sweet, too
near Heaven to endure long, she fancied. It was the first real
love-making that had passed between these two. Never had their spirits
been so near before; they understood each other now, and each confessed
that they must for the future be all in all to each other, come what
might, but Mary would make no promise to marry him yet.
He perceived that it was not mere maidenly coyness that prompted this
refusal, and that there was some serious reason for it; but he was
content, she loved him, loved him in a way that shut out all other
possibilities of love for both.
"I will be your wife or no one's, Harry," she at last replied to his
passionate pleading, and they sealed the compact in a long delicious
kiss.
"Mary!" he said, "I do not know why you will not promise to marry me
by-and-bye, but I will not press you for your reasons now. There is
plenty of time to do that, and I know you will give in at last. Oh, my
sweet! it is enough, it is more than I deserve, to know that you love
me, to know that you will not drive me from you, that I may often be
with you. Do you remember how cruel you were in London, when you told
me to go away from you for ever, when you forbade me ever to speak to
you of love again?"
"Yes, but it is different now," she said gently.
"And you really love me?"
"Why do you ask me what you know so well?"
"And I may come and see you as often as I like?"
"I did not say that."
"But I may."
There came a pause, then she said, "Promise me something, Harry."
"I will promise anything you wish."
"I want you to promise me not to come here again until I write to you."
"How cruel!"
"No! I am not cruel, Harry, you do not understand; but I must think over
all this, I do not see things clearly yet, I must think," she stopped in
the middle of the sentence, and an expression of agony passed over her
face, as the memory of her secret came to her mind.
"Oh, Mary! don't you love me well enough to trust me yet?" he asked
reproachfully.
"It is you who are cruel now. Oh, Harry, you know it is not that. You
know how I should like you never to leave me at all, you know that,
but...."
"I _am_ cruel! Tears in my poor little pet's eyes too, and I have
brought them there by my brutality," and he stooped to kiss her eyelids.
"Harry! Harry! Ah, if you knew what makes me hesitate! If you knew and
could help me! But there is no one that I can go to for advice--no one!"
There was a keen anguish in her voice as she uttered these words.
He seized her hands. "Mary, my love, cannot you come to _me_ for
advice?"
"I cannot without betraying the secrets of others."
"Is it this secret then that prevents your marrying me?"
"Yes," she said sadly.
"You think that you ought not to marry me without revealing it to me,
and yet you cannot reveal it; is that it?"
"Yes, Harry."
"Why, you silly little pet," and he kissed her, "is that all the
difficulty? We can soon get out of that. Don't tell me the secret. I am
not such an ogre that I wish to know all my little wife's secrets. Is it
your idea that a wife is bound to tell her husband every single thing? I
am afraid few wives take that view. Anyhow, I will relieve your
conscience by ordering you not to tell me that particular secret. I
shall be very angry--oh! I can be very angry, if you ever dare to let
out a word of it." He spoke playfully and kissed her again. "Now, are
you satisfied, pet?"
"But, oh! that is not all, Harry. Supposing this secret is one that I
cannot reveal, and yet one which I ought to reveal, as it affects the
happiness of many other people. Supposing that by saying a few words I
could save much misery to hundreds. Oh! what can I do? What _am_ I to
do? How can I live happily with this awful thing on my mind?"
She uttered these words in accents of the wildest misery. He looked
puzzled and very grave. He suspected that some mad socialist scheme of
Catherine King was at the bottom of this mystery, but he was, of course,
far from having the faintest idea of the real nature of it.
"Mary," he said, "I have more than a suspicion that Mrs. King has
admitted you into some wild Political Secret Society, that is destined
to regenerate the world in some way or other. If that is your secret I
think you can keep it to yourself with an easy conscience. These people
talk a good deal of sedition, but have not the pluck to carry out their
preaching. They will never do any harm, you will see."
"You do not know, you do not know," she said hurriedly and alarmed that
she had allowed him to guess even so little as he had; "but I must not
say more now. Do not talk about this now, Harry, please. I will think
over what you have said. In a day or two I shall see things more
clearly, and I will write to you."
"And say in your letter 'Come to me.' Will you promise that."
"When I write it will be to ask you to come to me, Harry."
"That will be delicious! to receive from you, your first love-letter,
and with that sweet invitation in it, too. How anxiously I shall look
for it each day!"
He gave her the nosegay he had gathered, and slowly they retraced their
steps to the merry party under the great oak tree. Then the doctor had
to leave them to catch his train to town, and he walked off with the
proud step and the glad eye of a true man who has won his sweetheart.