A prison is a house of care,
A place where none can thrive,
A touchstone true to try a friend,
A grave for one alive
Sometimes a place of right,
Sometimes a place of wrong,
Sometimes a place of rogues and thieves,
And honest men among
Inscription on Edinburgh Tolbooth
Early on the following morning the carriage which had brought Bertram
to Hazlewood House was, with his two silent and surly attendants,
appointed to convey him to his place of confinement at Portanferry.
This building adjoined to the custom-house established at that little
seaport, and both were situated so close to the sea-beach that it was
necessary to defend the back part with a large and strong rampart or
bulwark of huge stones, disposed in a slope towards the surf, which
often reached and broke upon them. The front was surrounded by a high
wall, enclosing a small courtyard, within which the miserable inmates
of the mansion were occasionally permitted to take exercise and air.
The prison was used as a house of correction, and sometimes as a chapel
of ease to the county jail, which was old, and far from being
conveniently situated with reference to the Kippletringan district of
the county. Mac-Guffog, the officer by whom Bertram had at first been
apprehended, and who was now in attendance upon him, was keeper of this
palace of little-ease. He caused the carriage to be drawn close up to
the outer gate, and got out himself to summon the warders. The noise of
his rap alarmed some twenty or thirty ragged boys, who left off sailing
their mimic sloops and frigates in the little pools of salt water left
by the receding tide, and hastily crowded round the vehicle to see what
luckless being was to be delivered to the prison-house out of
'Glossin's braw new carriage.' The door of the courtyard, after the
heavy clanking of many chains and bars, was opened by Mrs.
Mac-Guffog--an awful spectacle, being a woman for strength and
resolution capable of maintaining order among her riotous inmates, and
of administering the discipline of the house, as it was called, during
the absence of her husband, or when he chanced to have taken an
overdose of the creature. The growling voice of this Amazon, which
rivalled in harshness the crashing music of her own bolts and bars,
soon dispersed in every direction the little varlets who had thronged
around her threshold, and she next addressed her amiable helpmate:--
'Be sharp, man, and get out the swell, canst thou not?'
'Hold your tongue and be d-d, you--,' answered her loving husband, with
two additional epithets of great energy, but which we beg to be excused
from repeating. Then addressing Bertram--'Come, will you get out, my
handy lad, or must we lend you a lift?'
Bertram came out of the carriage, and, collared by the constable as he
put his foot on the ground, was dragged, though he offered no
resistance, across the threshold, amid the continued shouts of the
little sansculottes, who looked on at such distance as their fear of
Mrs. Mac-Guffog permitted. The instant his foot had crossed the fatal
porch, the portress again dropped her chains, drew her bolts, and,
turning with both hands an immense key, took it from the lock and
thrust it into a huge side-pocket of red cloth.
Bertram was now in the small court already mentioned. Two or three
prisoners were sauntering along the pavement, and deriving as it were a
feeling of refreshment from the momentary glimpse with which the
opening door had extended their prospect to the other side of a dirty
street. Nor can this be thought surprising, when it is considered that,
unless on such occasions, their view was confined to the grated front
of their prison, the high and sable walls of the courtyard, the heaven
above them, and the pavement beneath their feet--a sameness of
landscape which, to use the poet's expression, 'lay like a load on the
wearied eye,' and had fostered in some a callous and dull misanthropy,
in others that sickness of the heart which induces him who is immured
already in a living grave to wish for a sepulchre yet more calm and
sequestered.
Mac-Guffog, when they entered the courtyard, suffered Bertram to pause
for a minute and look upon his companions in affliction. When he had
cast his eye around on faces on which guilt and despondence and low
excess had fixed their stigma--upon the spendthrift, and the swindler,
and the thief, the bankrupt debtor, the 'moping idiot, and the madman
gay,' whom a paltry spirit of economy congregated to share this dismal
habitation, he felt his heart recoil with inexpressible loathing from
enduring the contamination of their society even for a moment.
'I hope, sir,' he said to the keeper, 'you intend to assign me a place
of confinement apart?'
'And what should I be the better of that?'
'Why, sir, I can but be detained here a day or two, and it would be
very disagreeable to me to mix in the sort of company this place
affords.'
'And what do I care for that?'
'Why then, sir, to speak to your feelings,' said Bertram, 'I shall be
willing to make you a handsome compliment for this indulgence.'
'Ay, but when, Captain? when and how? that's the question, or rather
the twa questions,' said the jailor.
'When I am delivered, and get my remittances from England,' answered
the prisoner.
Mac-Guffog shook his head incredulously.
'Why, friend, you do not pretend to believe that I am really a
malefactor?' said Bertram.
'Why, I no ken,' said the fellow; 'but if you ARE on the account, ye're
nae sharp ane, that's the daylight o't.'
'And why do you say I am no sharp one?'
'Why, wha but a crack-brained greenhorn wad hae let them keep up the
siller that ye left at the Gordon Arms?' said the constable. 'Deil
fetch me, but I wad have had it out o' their wames! Ye had nae right to
be strippit o' your money and sent to jail without a mark to pay your
fees; they might have keepit the rest o' the articles for evidence. But
why, for a blind bottle-head, did not ye ask the guineas? and I kept
winking and nodding a' the time, and the donnert deevil wad never ance
look my way!'
'Well, sir,' replied Bertram, 'if I have a title to have that property
delivered up to me, I shall apply for it; and there is a good deal more
than enough to pay any demand you can set up.'
'I dinna ken a bit about that,' said Mac-Guffog; 'ye may be here lang
eneugh. And then the gieing credit maun be considered in the fees. But,
however, as ye DO seem to be a chap by common, though my wife says I
lose by my good-nature, if ye gie me an order for my fees upon that
money I daresay Glossin will make it forthcoming; I ken something about
an escape from Ellangowan. Ay, ay, he'll be glad to carry me through,
and be neighbour-like.'
'Well, sir,' replied Bertram, 'if I am not furnished in a day or two
otherwise, you shall have such an order.'
'Weel, weel, then ye shall be put up like a prince,' said Mac-Guffog.
'But mark ye me, friend, that we may have nae colly-shangie afterhend,
these are the fees that I always charge a swell that must have his
lib-ken to himsell:--Thirty shillings a week for lodgings, and a guinea
for garnish; half a guinea a week for a single bed; and I dinna get the
whole of it, for I must gie half a crown out of it to Donald Laider
that's in for sheep-stealing, that should sleep with you by rule, and
he'll expect clean strae, and maybe some whisky beside. So I make
little upon that.'
'Well, sir, go on.'
'Then for meat and liquor, ye may have the best, and I never charge
abune twenty per cent ower tavern price for pleasing a gentleman that
way; and that's little eneugh for sending in and sending out, and
wearing the lassie's shoon out. And then if ye're dowie I will sit wi'
you a gliff in the evening mysell, man, and help ye out wi' your
bottle. I have drank mony a glass wi' Glossin, man, that did you up,
though he's a justice now. And then I'se warrant ye'll be for fire thir
cauld nights, or if ye want candle, that's an expensive article, for
it's against the rules. And now I've tell'd ye the head articles of the
charge, and I dinna think there's muckle mair, though there will aye be
some odd expenses ower and abune.'
'Well, sir, I must trust to your conscience, if ever you happened to
hear of such a thing; I cannot help myself.'
'Na, na, sir,' answered the cautious jailor, 'I'll no permit you to be
saying that. I'm forcing naething upon ye; an ye dinna like the price,
ye needna take the article. I force no man; I was only explaining what
civility was. But if ye like to take the common run of the house, it's
a' ane to me; I'll be saved trouble, that's a'.'
'Nay, my friend, I have, as I suppose you may easily guess, no
inclination to dispute your terms upon such a penalty,' answered
Bertram. 'Come, show me where I am to be, for I would fain be alone for
a little while.'
'Ay, ay, come along then, Captain,' said the fellow, with a contortion
of visage which he intended to be a smile; 'and I'll tell you now--to
show you that I HAVE a conscience, as ye ca't--d--n me if I charge ye
abune six-pence a day for the freedom o' the court, and ye may walk
in't very near three hours a day, and play at pitch-and-toss and hand
ba' and what not.'
With this gracious promise he ushered Bertram into the house, and
showed him up a steep and narrow stone staircase, at the top of which
was a strong door, clenched with iron and studded with nails. Beyond
this door was a narrow passage or gallery, having three cells on each
side, wretched vaults, with iron bed-frames and straw mattresses. But
at the farther end was a small apartment of rather a more decent
appearance, that is, having less the air of a place of confinement,
since, unless for the large lock and chain upon the door, and the
crossed and ponderous stanchions upon the window, it rather resembled
the 'worst inn's worst room.' It was designed as a sort of infirmary
for prisoners whose state of health required some indulgence; and, in
fact, Donald Laider, Bertram's destined chum, had been just dragged out
of one of the two beds which it contained, to try whether clean straw
and whisky might not have a better chance to cure his intermitting
fever. This process of ejection had been carried into force by Mrs.
Mac-Guffog while her husband parleyed with Bertram in the courtyard,
that good lady having a distinct presentiment of the manner in which
the treaty must necessarily terminate. Apparently the expulsion had not
taken place without some application of the strong hand, for one of the
bed-posts of a sort of tent-bed was broken down, so that the tester and
curtains hung forward into the middle of the narrow chamber, like the
banner of a chieftain half-sinking amid the confusion of a combat.
'Never mind that being out o' sorts, Captain,' said Mrs. Mac-Guffog,
who now followed them into the room; then, turning her back to the
prisoner, with as much delicacy as the action admitted, she whipped
from her knee her ferret garter, and applied it to splicing and
fastening the broken bed-post; then used more pins than her apparel
could well spare to fasten up the bed-curtains in festoons; then shook
the bed-clothes into something like form; then flung over all a
tattered patch-work quilt, and pronounced that things were now
'something purpose-like.' 'And there's your bed, Captain,' pointing to
a massy four-posted hulk, which, owing to the inequality of the floor,
that had sunk considerably (the house, though new, having been built by
contract), stood on three legs, and held the fourth aloft as if pawing
the air, and in the attitude of advancing like an elephant passant upon
the panel of a coach,--'there's your bed and the blankets; but if ye
want sheets, or bowster, or pillow, or ony sort o' nappery for the
table, or for your hands, ye 'll hae to speak to me about it, for
that's out o' the gudeman's line (Mac-Guffog had by this time left the
room, to avoid, probably, any appeal which might be made to him upon
this new exaction), and he never engages for ony thing like that.'
'In God's name,' said Bertram, 'let me have what is decent, and make
any charge you please.'
'Aweel, aweel, that's sune settled; we'll no excise you neither, though
we live sae near the custom-house. And I maun see to get you some fire
and some dinner too, I'se warrant; but your dinner will be but a puir
ane the day, no expecting company that would be nice and fashious.' So
saying, and in all haste, Mrs. Mac-Guffog fetched a scuttle of live
coals, and having replenished 'the rusty grate, unconscious of a fire'
for months before, she proceeded with unwashed hands to arrange the
stipulated bed-linen (alas, how different from Ailie Dinmont's!), and,
muttering to herself as she discharged her task, seemed, in inveterate
spleen of temper, to grudge even those accommodations for which she was
to receive payment. At length, however, she departed, grumbling between
her teeth, that 'she wad rather lock up a haill ward than be fiking
about thae niff-naffy gentles that gae sae muckle fash wi' their
fancies.'
When she was gone Bertram found himself reduced to the alternative of
pacing his little apartment for exercise, or gazing out upon the sea in
such proportions as could be seen from the narrow panes of his window,
obscured by dirt and by close iron bars, or reading over the records of
brutal wit and blackguardism which despair had scrawled upon the
half-whitened walls. The sounds were as uncomfortable as the objects of
sight; the sullen dash of the tide, which was now retreating, and the
occasional opening and shutting of a door, with all its accompaniments
of jarring bolts and creaking hinges, mingling occasionally with the
dull monotony of the retiring ocean. Sometimes, too, he could hear the
hoarse growl of the keeper, or the shriller strain of his helpmate,
almost always in the tone of discontent, anger, or insolence. At other
times the large mastiff chained in the courtyard answered with furious
bark the insults of the idle loiterers who made a sport of incensing
him.
At length the tedium of this weary space was broken by the entrance of
a dirty-looking serving-wench, who made some preparations for dinner by
laying a half-dirty cloth upon a whole-dirty deal table. A knife and
fork, which had not been worn out by overcleaning, flanked a cracked
delf plate; a nearly empty mustard-pot, placed on one side of the
table, balanced a salt-cellar, containing an article of a greyish, or
rather a blackish, mixture, upon the other, both of stoneware, and
bearing too obvious marks of recent service. Shortly after, the same
Hebe brought up a plate of beef-collops, done in the frying-pan, with a
huge allowance of grease floating in an ocean of lukewarm water; and,
having added a coarse loaf to these savoury viands, she requested to
know what liquors the gentleman chose to order. The appearance of this
fare was not very inviting; but Bertram endeavoured to mend his commons
by ordering wine, which he found tolerably good, and, with the
assistance of some indifferent cheese, made his dinner chiefly off the
brown loaf. When his meal was over the girl presented her master's
compliments, and, if agreeable to the gentleman, he would help him to
spend the evening. Bertram desired to be excused, and begged, instead
of this gracious society, that he might be furnished with paper, pen,
ink, and candles. The light appeared in the shape of one long broken
tallow-candle, inclining over a tin candlestick coated with grease; as
for the writing materials, the prisoner was informed that he might have
them the next day if he chose to send out to buy them. Bertram next
desired the maid to procure him a book, and enforced his request with a
shilling; in consequence of which, after long absence, she reappeared
with two odd volumes of the 'Newgate Calendar,' which she had borrowed
from Sam Silverquill, an idle apprentice, who was imprisoned under a
charge of forgery. Having laid the books on the table she retired, and
left Bertram to studies which were not ill adapted to his present
melancholy situation.