"I can't remember which one. There are a lot of things that my memory's
hazy about. I can't even recall the name of the company I worked for as
an engineer."
"That may not be so strange. I find difficulty remembering the school
where I taught on Earth. P.S. 654, wasn't it, Dad?"
"P.S. 634," Mr. Marsh corrected briefly.
"You see?" she said. "Do you remember your wife's name? And the names
of your children?"
"I wouldn't forget _them_," he said. "My wife's name was Mona." He
stared at the wall for a moment, his face without expression. "I can
still see the way she looked when I left to undergo treatment. Paul
was--let's see, he must be about nine, maybe ten, by this time. And
Wilma must be six or seven. I remember how scared she was that time she
found a harmless little phytopod. She thought it was going to bite her."
"Phytopod?" said Carol. "We don't have them around here. What do they
look like?"
"They're small and furry, and have two feet that look like roots. When
they stand still you're likely to mistake them for plants."
"You _do_ recall some things," said Carol.
"The little things that don't tell me where to look. I remember the
time we went on a picnic--I don't recall how many moons there were in
the sky--and the ground began to shake. It didn't do any damage, but
Wilma was terrified. Paul took it in his stride, though."
"There aren't any earthquakes on Ganymede," said her father. "If your
memory of that incident is correct, you're looking in the wrong place."
"I suppose so," he said. "But what's the right place?"
"Perhaps if you thought of a few more incidents, we might figure it
out. It's the little things you don't forget that can be most helpful."
* * * * *
What nonsense, thought Carol, although she kept the thought to herself.
The little things can be most _harmful_. They keep the pain, and the
memory of pain, alive and vivid. She remembered little things about
John all too well--the careless way he wore his clothes, and the way he
combed his hair, the cigarettes he smoked, and the foods he liked to
eat. And the stupid way she had let herself fall in love with him.
She hadn't even had the excuse of its happening suddenly, as it had
happened now. She had begun to love John as she had come to know him,
disregarding all the evidence of his selfishness, of his genuine
inability to care for any one else than John Burr.
Unaware of what was going on in her mind, Callendar was saying, with
somewhat more animation than he had previously shown, "I think you're
right, Mr. Marsh. I've kept my troubles too much to myself. Maybe you
can't actually do anything for me, but it wouldn't hurt me to talk. I
should have done my talking long ago. When they found me."
"Where did they find you?" asked her father. "And what did you mean
before, when you said you're not sure of anything?"
"They picked me up in a lifeboat, drifting some place between Mars and
Jupiter. The motor was off, but the power pile was working, and the
air-purifying equipment was on. I was apparently hibernating. I might
have been that way for six months or a year."
"And you don't remember--" said Carol.
"There's plenty I don't remember, but as I've said, my memory isn't a
complete blank. My wife and I and the kids had settled down in a new
colony--exactly where it was is one of the things I forget. I believe
now that it wasn't Ganymede. Maybe it was some other moon of Jupiter's.
"Anyway, I seem to recall having some trouble with my health, and being
taken onto an inter-planetary hospital ship for treatment--L-treatment,
they called it. That's where they put me to sleep. What happened after
that, I can only guess. The ship must have been involved in some
accident. I must have been transferred to the lifeboat."
"Alone?" asked Carol's father.
"No. There were two other patients with me. They were found dead. I was
the only one left alive. The bodies of the crew members who transferred
us weren't found at all. They might have gone back for more patients
and then been unable to get away again."
"Who found your lifeboat?"
"The crew of a freighter, who spotted it drifting across a space lane.
They took me on board and revived me. But they were in a hurry and
didn't have much time to stay and investigate."
* * * * *
Mr. Marsh was thoughtful and silent.