_House of Commons, Monday Night, March 27._--The Lowther Arcade not
getting on so well as thought when projected. The Master Builder
been diligently at work, but result disappointing. On Friday he
got terribly snubbed by SPEAKER. Comes up to-day to make personal
explanation. That a bait at which House usually jumps; always ready to
be amused, or interested with scandal about Queen ELIZABETH and other
persons. These things usually promised by personal explanation. To-day
no flutter of excitement moved crowded House. JEMMY, approaching table
with most judicial air, received with mocking laughter, and ironical
cheers. Some difficulty in quite making out what he was at. Evidently
something to do with SQUIRE of MALWOOD; but SQUIRE so inextricably
mixed up with Supplementary Estimates, couldn't make out which
was which. JAMES pounded along in most ponderous style; SQUIRE
contemptuously replied; no one else inclined to join in conversation,
and the Master Builder gloomily resumed his seat.
"Never mind," I said, not liking to see an old friend cast down; "Rome
wasn't built in a day, nor the Cave of Adullam excavated in a week.
These things grow. You must have patience, and the Lowther Arcade
will still flourish. Let me see, whom you have got? There's BARTLEY,
HANBURY, and TOMMY BOWLES. LOWE, forming his Cave, hadn't so many to
start with."
"Yes," said the Master Builder, "that's all very well; but, fact is,
you can't reckon upon these fellows as being, so to speak, colonnades
in the Arcade. They are all on their own hook; fighting for their own
hand; won't take the lead from me; must go foraging for themselves.
HANBURY thinks he can boss a show better than most men. BARTLEY'S
obstreperous. TOMMY BOWLES would be all right if he were left to
himself, free from the companionship of designing men. He is young,
ingenuous, not wholly lost to a sense of regard for his pastors and
masters, lack of which is the curse of modern Youth. I believe TOMMY
respects me, and, only for the evil communications to which he is
subject on the back bench, would work loyally with me in establishing
the Arcade."
There was unwonted moisture in the Master Builder's eye as he turned
round, and regarded the Member for King's Lynn what time he softly
whistled to himself the old Jacobite air, "_Tommy make Room for your
Uncle_."
_Business done._--Vote of Censure moved by Prince ARTHUR; Government
majority runs up on division to 47; Ministerialists, fresh from
meeting at Foreign Office, agree that, on whole, have spent a happy
day. Debate spasmodically dull. Prince ARTHUR could not lift it out of
the rut, nor GRANDOLPH either. Only Mr. G. shone with effulgent light
through gloom of evening. Principal result of manoeuvre, beyond
giving fillip to majority, is that a day will be filched from meagre
holidays, and House must needs sit on Thursday.
_Tuesday._--Mr. G. looked in in time to say a few words in reply to
Prince ARTHUR'S inquiries as to business arrangements. Later he came
back, and delivered excellent speech; brief, and direct to point.
House been talking all morning round Vote on Account. MACFARLANE done
Rule-of-three sum, to show how twelve hundred days are lost every week
by necessity imposed upon Members of coming down two hours in advance
to take their seats. Some disposition shown by practical Members to
argue question whether there could be twelve hundred days in any week,
even in Leap-Year.
"I know I'm right," said MACFARLANE, and the sceptics, gazing
respectfully at his flowing beard, withdrew from controversy.
House divided on Motion by LEGH to reduce Foreign Office Vote.
Ministerial majority run up at a jump to 225. Time by Westminster
clock, 6.10 P.M.; in twenty minutes, sitting will be suspended; Vote
must be through Committee to-day; TOMMY BOWLES (who hasn't made a
speech for a quarter of an hour) on his feet; sheafs of manuscript in
his hand; would certainly oblige to extent of twenty minutes; BARON
DE WORMS also has a few remarks to offer; probable length of Channel
Tunnel. Mr. G. interposes. "Mr. MELLOR," he said, addressing Chairman,
"I claim to have the question now put."
Ringing cheers went up from Ministerialists. TOMMY resumed his seat;
gruefully glanced at notes. The Noble Baron saw in this manoeuvre
fresh proof that Mr. G. had sold himself to Germany; having completed
preparation for separation of the Empire on the side of the Irish
Channel, would immediately after, by medium of WATKIN'S Tunnel, place
what was left of the country at the mercy of a foreign foe. Meanwhile
Closure moved; what's more, carried on division by swingeing majority
of over a hundred. So Vote agreed to; Mr. G. gets off for short drive
before dressing for dinner.
[Illustration: EASTER AT THE ZOO.]
Earned a night's rest, and a longer Easter holiday than he has
allotted to himself and us. Older he gets, the younger he seems. His
work to-day should make the eight-hours' man blush. At bay in Downing
Street since twelve o'clock with two hostile deputations. Came from
Ulster and the City, resolved to beard Home-Rule Lion in his den.
Alone he met them; one down, the other come on; no interval of rest;
picked men from Ulster, Selected Captains from the City, surged around
table at which he sat. Hardly left him time to reply. Having politely
conducted Ulster to door, enter the City Fathers, fresh and eager for
fray. Told him over again in varied phrase how he was bringing country
to verge of ruin; listened with perfect courtesy, as if they'd been
discussing someone else--say, his next-door neighbour, SQUIRE of
MALWOOD and Junior Lord of Downing Street. Up again when last in list
of City speakers had concluded. Almost persuaded JOHN LUBBOCK to be
a Home-Ruler; then down to House, dealing with mass of correspondence
littering his table in room behind SPEAKER'S chair; alert on sound of
division-bell; comes in to move Closure; remembers that in long list
of speeches never made this particular one before; looks up PALGRAVE'S
_Handbook_; cons his lesson and declaims brief formula in deep rich
voice that lends touch of eloquence to its unadorned, remorseless
demand. All this, too, following on a day like yesterday, when two
other deputations stormed Downing Street; drew from him weighty reply;
followed, after hasty dinner, by a speech in the House on the eternal
Irish question, which GRANDOLPH rightly termed, "entrancing."
"A Grand Old Man, indeed!" said PRINCE ARTHUR, talking over these
things to-night, when he should have been listening to TOMMY BOWLES,
who having at the morning sitting had his speech on Vote on Account
closured, delivered another at evening sitting on the question of the
Depreciation of Silver as it affects domestic architecture in China
and Peru.
_Business done._--Vote on Account through Committee.
_Thursday._--CAINE going about House this afternoon, his slim figure
bulging out at the pockets in mysterious fashion, "Brought your supper
with you?" I asked, lightly touching one of the excrescences that felt
like an imperial pint of ginger-beer (WHITE 1880). "You seem bursting
with broiled bones. All no use. No more all-night sittings _this_ side
of Easter."
[Illustration: Portrait of a Member of Parliament examining the
Signatures to a Petition against the Local-Veto Bill, to see if they
are genuine or not. (_Vide_ Report of the Proceedings in the Commons,
March 28, which suggests that they are obtained in Public Houses.)]
"No, my boy, you're wrong," said CAINE. "Fact is, I'm going off to
the country, and these protuberances you observe about my person are
phonograms. All labelled, you see," he said, taking out cylinders from
several pockets. "Here are a few remarks on Registration; that's my
Local-Veto Speech; and here is an entirely new view of the Home-Rule
question. If you like to come over to my house at Clapham--close by,
you know, busses every ten minutes--you shall have a night's thorough
enjoyment. Leave you in the room by yourself with the phonograph. Pop
in one of these cylinders; set the phonograph whizzing; and you'll
hear me on Local Veto. Take out cylinder, put in another, and you'll
know more about Home Rule in five minutes than you ever dreamt.
Can only let you have them for to-night. To-morrow they go down to
Yorkshire, and thro' Easter Recess I shall be delivering, at various
places, six speeches every night, I myself comfortably making holiday
in Wales." "Thank you," I said; "but, if you'll excuse me, I think
I'll go home and go to bed." In truth, a little depressed. Here's a
nice prospect for the holidays! Bad enough to have Members working off
at public meetings speeches that had been closured in Commons. But if
every man is, during the recess, to multiply himself by phonography,
the last state of this country will be worse than the first.
_Business done._--Adjourned for Easter Holidays. Just escaped sitting
over Good Friday. Back next Thursday.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE NEW "FOURTH PARTY."