"I wear my very oldest suits,
I go about in shocking boots,
And (bar potatoes) feed on roots
And various cereal substitutes
For wheat, and non-imported fruits.
No meat my table now pollutes,
But, though I spare warm-blooded brutes,
I sometimes sup on frogs and newts.
I often spend laborious days
Supported by a little maize;
And rice prepared in divers ways
My appetite at luncheon stays.
From sugar I avert my gaze;
Unsweetened tea my thirst allays;
I never go to any plays
Or smoke expensive Henry Clays."
_Our excellent Economist_
_His pet extravagance forgets,_
_Which rather spoils his little list--_
_His fifty daily cigarettes._
* * * * *
[Illustration: "SWOOPING FROM THE WEST."
[It is the intention of our new Ally to assist us in the patrolling of the
Atlantic.]]
* * * * *
[Illustration: ON AN OUTLYING FORT.
_Orderly Officer._ "ANYTHING SERIOUS TO REPORT, SERGEANT?"
_Sergeant._ "GUNNER JONES FEELS 'OMESICK, SIR, AND MAY HE SEND FOR 'IS
PARROT?"]
* * * * *