The growing disposition to declare war against her is causing genuine
concern in Germany, where it is feared that there may not be enough
interned German vessels to go round.
***
An Austrian General is reported to have been overwhelmed by an avalanche of
snow, and at Easter-time a number of patriotic English people were
offering, in view of the usefulness of the stuff for military purposes, to
forgo their own ration.
***
The question of Parliamentary reform has been under discussion in the House
of Commons. That the Legislature should attempt to deal with reforms of any
kind which have not been previously demanded by the Daily Press is regarded
in certain quarters as a most dangerous precedent.
***
Immediately north of the Siegfried line, the experts explain, is a new
German position, which they have christened the Wotan line. It will not be
long before we hear of fresh German activities in the Götterdämmerung line.
***
Thousands of men at the docks are boycotting public-houses as a protest
against increased prices. A deputation of licensed victuallers will shortly
wait upon the Government to inform them that their action in restricting
the brewers' output is likely to have the deplorable effect of making
drinking unpopular.
***
There has been some slight activity on the Dublin front, but beyond a few
skirmishes there is little to report.
***
One of the most recent additions to the Entente Alliance proves that the
art of war as practised by Germany is such a horrible travesty that even
the Cubists condemn it.
***
Goat-skin coats are mentioned by a lady writer as quite a novelty. She is
in error. Goats have worn them for years.
***
A wedding at Huntingdon, the other day, was interrupted by the barking of
dog within the vicinity of the church. It is a peculiar thing, but dogs
have never looked upon marriage as the serious thing it really is.
***
We are sorry to contradict a contemporary, but the assertion that men are
losing their chivalry cannot be lightly passed over. Only the other night
in the tube a man was distinctly heard to say to a lady who was standing,
"Pray accept my seat, Madam. I am getting out here."
***
[Illustration: _Small Invalid_ (_to visitor_). "I'VE HAD A LOT OF DISEASES
IN MY TIME -- MEASLES -- WHOOPING-COUGH -- INFLUENZA -- TONSILITIS -- BUT
(_modestly_) I HAVEN'T HAD DROPSY YET."]
***
Mr. DUKE has just stated that there is work for all in Ireland. This is not
the way to make the Government popular in the distressed isle.
***
The Vienna _Zeit_ says the worst enemy of the people is their appetite.
Several local humourists have been severely dealt with for pointing out
that eating is the best way of getting rid of this pest.
***
A Stepney market porter attempted last week to evade military service by
hiding in a cupboard, but the police captured him despite the fact that he
attempted to throw them off the scent by making a noise like a piece of
cheese--a very old device.
***
On one day of Eastertide there was an inch of snow in Liverpool, followed
by hailstones, lightning, thunder and a gale of wind. Summer has certainly
arrived very early this year.
***
The _Berliner Tageblatt _makes much of the fact that a recent submarine
expedition was carried out by means of German Naval officers on board a
trawler "disguised as ordinary men." A clever piece of masquerading.
***
"Members of the Honor Oak Golf Club," says a contemporary, "are arranging
to play their rounds to the music of grunting pigs, cackling fowls and
bleating lambs." With a little practice these intelligent animals should
soon be able to convey their appreciation of the more elementary strokes.
***
WOLF'S comet is approaching the earth at the rate of 1,250,000 miles a day,
and our special constables have been warned.
***
England, said Lord LEICESTER recently, is neglecting her trees during the
War. But with our Great Tree (Sir BEERBOHM) it is the other way about.
***
The overseer of one of the workhouses in the vicinity of London is to
receive an additional four pounds a year in place of beer. It is hoped that
this sum will buy him a nice glass of stout for his next Christmas dinner.
***
In justice to the thieves who removed 1-1/2 cwt. of sugar from a grocer's
shop in Kentish Town it should be stated that had it not been for an
untimely alarm it was their intention to have taken a sufficient quantity
of other articles to justify their appropriation of that amount of sugar.
***
"Only the older generation recalls the glass of sherry and slice of
Madeira that used to be the invariable refreshment offered in the
farmhouses of the Southwest."--_Daily Telegraph._
Our own recollection is that it was sometimes a glass of Madeira and a hunk
of sherry.
* * * * *