James Wilson Comes Along--Wants me to go with Him to Saulsbury,
Tennessee, to Help Build a House for a Grocery-Store--Takes me Along
with Him--Wilson Taken Sick--I Take Care of Him--He gets Well--I make
another Attempt to Escape from Slavery--What Came of it.
One day James Wilson came to Mr. Dansley's, and said he had come for me
to go with him to Saulsbury, Tennessee, where he was going to start a
grocery, and that he wished my assistance in erecting a building
therefor. He informed me, at the same time, that as soon as the building
was finished, I might return to Mr. Dansley and stay with him as long as
he wanted me. He had another colored man with him, and desired to go
right away. All I had to do was to obey, so without further ado I bade
farewell to the people of the plantation, and went with Wilson. The
parting made me feel sad, for a time.
The word grocery, as applied in the South, has a far different meaning
than that intended in the North. A grocery in the South is a place
where whisky and other intoxicating beverages are sold, and, as a
general thing, at these places the planters and others congregate to
drink, carouse, gamble, quarrel, and fight. This was the kind of grocery
James Wilson was going to start in Saulsbury, and the thought of aiding
even under protest and unwillingly in the establishment of one of these
hells caused me much anxiety. I made every effort to get relieved from
this odious work, but without avail.
We immediately began the erection of the grocery-building, on our
arrival at Saulsbury, and made good progress for a while. The boards we
used in the building had to be sawed by us two slaves with a whipsaw. We
dug a deep trench in the ground, and laid the log to be sawed into
boards lengthwise over the trench, and one of us would stand in the
trench under the log and the other on top of the log. In this way we
worked, day after day, until we had a sufficient number of boards to
accommodate our wants.
The Almighty, it seemed to me, interfered with our work. James Wilson
was taken down very sick in the midst of our efforts to create this
additional devil's den, and was totally unable to leave his bed. I had
to take care of him, and the work on the grocery-house was necessarily
stopped. As soon as he was able to be moved I took him to the Sulphur
Springs, not many miles away, and nursed him carefully and attentively
until he was able to be about again.
This sickness of Wilson I deemed a warning to him, and endeavored to
impress as much on his mind; but I was cursed and reviled for my pains.
I availed myself of every opportunity to dissuade him from his evil
purpose, but failed. He was determined to start a grocery, and start a
grocery he would and did. I cleared my skirts and conscience in the
business, however, as far as I could under the circumstances; yet a
"still small voice" seemed to whisper to me that I was doing very wicked
and sinful acts in helping to further the grocery iniquity. I was, in a
manner, forced to work, yet I was uneasy and troubled in my mind. Others
may think I was blameless; that I was a slave and not accountable for
acts my master commanded me to do. This seemed very specious reasoning,
but still I felt guilty, and sent fervent and prayerful petitions to the
throne of grace for forgiveness and fortitude to withstand temptation,
which enable me to do the will of my great Master regardless of the
consequences that might ensue to me from the effects of Wilson's wrath
or resentment.
We finished the building in about two months from the time we first
went to Salisbury, and prepared to return home.
It was here that I first saw a complete railroad and a locomotive with a
train of cars. My fellow-slave, on hearing the whistle of the locomotive
for the first time, was very much frightened, and jumped over the log he
was hewing, with the exclamation, "Good God! what is that?" and started
to run. I stopped him, and, explaining to him what the loud, shrill
shriek meant, quieted his fears. We both went to the depot and examined
the locomotive and cars with great curiosity and interest.
James Wilson, being still weak with his late sickness, was compelled to
ride in the wagon he had brought from home, and I rode his saddle-horse.
On the way, Wilson informed me that I was to attend the grocery at
Salisbury, and that he expected me to make money out of the concern. My
very soul revolted at the bare idea of being a whisky-vender, and my
immediate determination was not to be one. My mind was made up to "take
to the woods" on the first favorable opportunity. I said nothing,
however, but kept my own counsel.
We traveled slowly, by reason of the master's sickness; and when we
stopped for the night I found that the saddle I had been riding had hurt
the horse's back. Wilson was furious, and swore he would take as much
hide from my back when we got home as the saddle had taken from the
horse's back.
The next day after leaving Salisbury we arrived at Mr. Dansley's. In
conversation, I heard Wilson tell Mr. Dansley that he intended to take
me home with him.
I claimed the fulfillment of his promise from Wilson, and asked him if
he was not going to let me work for Mr. Dansley, according to agreement.
This so enraged Wilson that he pulled out his six-shooter, and
exclaimed:
"Mount that horse, you ---- black rascal!"
I did so.
Fearful that the horse's back would become incurably sore if I rode him
with his back in the condition it was, I suggested that the horse had
better be led. Wilson therefore ordered me into the wagon to drive the
team, and required Havely, my fellow-slave, to walk,--intending we
should take turns. After awhile Havely exchanged places with me, and
while walking along in rear of the wagon it occurred to me that this
would be as favorable an opportunity as I would soon again get for
making my escape from Wilson and slavery.
I "took to the woods" without attracting the attention of either Wilson
or Havely, and made good my escape, for the time at least.
I made my way back to Mr. Dansley's and told him my reasons for
endeavoring to effect my escape from slavery, and that the immediate
cause of my present attempt was to keep myself clear of the accursed sin
of whisky-selling. My motives were applauded, but my judgment was
condemned.
How could I ever expect to escape to a country where I could be a free
man? Even should I escape to the northern states the fugitive slave law,
which was then in full force, would remand me back to slavery, and it
was a long, tedious, and perilous journey to Canada. I was going to make
the attempt at any rate.
It was agreed between us that Mr. Dansley should buy me of Wilson if he
could, and that I should stay and work for him at the rate of
thirty-five dollars per month until I had re-imbursed Mr. Dansley, when
I should have my freedom papers. It would have required about four years
for me to pay for myself at those rates, as Wilson "priced" me at
sixteen hundred dollars.
The negotiations for my purchase by Mr. Dansley failed, and I was left
to my exertions to get to Canada the best way I could. I was secreted
during this time about Dansley's farm, and was aroused to a sense of my
condition one day by reading a hand-bill which was posted on a tree on
the road close to Mr. Dansley's house, of which the following is a copy:
"ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS REWARD!"
"Charles, a slave, has disappeared from the plantation of
the undersigned, in Pontotoc County. The above reward
will be given for his apprehension and return to me alive.
"JAMES WILSON."
This settled the matter. The reward was soon known over the whole
country, and every slave-hunter was on the chase to gain the reward. I
"laid close" and waited to escape from that part of the country, so that
I might not compromise Mr. Dansley. He was already under surveillance by
slave-owners, and was in danger of being driven from the country; in
fact, threats of lynching had been made against him.
The last day I was there I lay hid in some cotton-pens, close to the
house, when two men came on the hunt of me. They had their blood-hounds
with them, and demanded permission of Dansley to search his house. The
permission was granted, when the men began the search. I could see and
hear all that was going on, and trembled for my safety. I put myself on
the mercy of the Almighty and resigned myself entirely into his hands.
The search was made all over the premises, including the cotton-pens in
which I was hid; but God was on my side, and I was saved from their
clutches. I earnestly thanked God for my deliverance on this occasion.
As soon as dark came I emerged from my hiding-place, and, after being
supplied with what provisions I could conveniently carry, I bid good-by
to Christian Dansley and his family, and started on my perilous journey
to the free states and Canada.
My progress was necessarily slow and wearisome, being compelled to
travel altogether at night. The first point I designed making on my
journey was Memphis, where I hoped to find means of escape to Illinois.
I had plenty of time for meditation and prayer, and my thoughts were
naturally concentrated on my deplorable condition all the time. My past
life came up in review before me, and while sorrowfully wandering
through the woods I would compare myself to persecuted Christians in the
days of the apostles and the early evaneglists. The blessed Savior was
persecuted in his very infancy and had to be hid by his parents. They
had to flee for life; I was fleeing for liberty. What had I to complain
of? Jesus was with me and would protect me. God had delivered him from
the very tomb of death; why need I fear? With these reflections in my
mind I would feel revived and refreshed with the consolation that while
there was life in me there was hope for me. The words of the poet came
to my memory, wherein he says:
"Neither will he upbraid you,
Though often your request;
He'll give you grace to conquer,
And take you home to rest."
The consolation and help I received from my meditations sustained me
through all my trials and hardships, and I plodded my weary way along
with God in my heart and bright hopes for the future. I knew if I drew
nigh unto God he would draw nigh unto me; and that if I would let the
word of Christ dwell in me I would be rich in all wisdom. Yet I was
aware I should suffer persecution if I lived godly in Jesus Christ;
therefore I determined to continue in the things which I had learned.
On Sunday night I arrived at Holly Springs. Uncle Ben lived there, and I
was anxious to see him and obtain through his assistance, if possible,
rest and food. I had proceeded only a little way toward his house when I
met a colored man and began conversation with him. I learned that the
reward Wilson had offered for me had arrived at Holly Springs before me,
and that persons were on the lookout for me. The colored man seemed to
have a suspicion that I was a runaway, and was disposed to aid me all in
his power. To keep out of the way of slave-hunters was my object, and I
knew that the contemplated visit to Uncle Ben was fraught with too much
danger to be further thought of.
Fearful that the negro would betray me, yet feeling somewhat safe for
the present, I sat down to think and rest myself. I knew that if I was
caught Wilson would flay me, as he had threatened to do, for making his
saddle-horse's back sore, but that if I could once get through to
Memphis I would be enabled, through the assistance of friends, to make
my way North. Yet I wanted to see Uncle Ben again, and tried to hit upon
some plan to accomplish that object; but I failed, and started on the
road again.
After traveling a short time I came to a house by the road-side. The
kitchen stood about twenty yards from the main building, and had a
window in the back part of it. I was very hungry, and debated in my mind
as to the manner in which I should proceed to obtain food. To ask for it
was too risky, and I was fearful that if I was seen by any of the
persons about the house I would be apprehended and put in the nearest
jail as a runaway. Looking in at the window I saw a colored woman; and
on a table a meal was prepared, which, it seemed, was being held in
readiness for the arrival of some one. I waited patiently, hoping the
colored woman would leave the kitchen for some purpose; but she sat
quietly waiting.
After awhile the master and mistress arrived, it seems, from a visit.
Shortly the mistress of the house came in and ordered the supper.
Fortunately for me the supper was to be carried into the "big house,"
and the cook, taking her hands full of things, left the kitchen and went
into the house. I immediately sprung through the window, promiscuously
emptied the meat and bread into my sack, and left the kitchen the same
way before the return of the cook, just in time to escape detection.
I crouched in the shade of the cabin fearing to move, when I heard the
cook exclaim:
"Good gracious! some one hab tuk and turned in an' tuk all de bread an'
meat."
Her cries brought the household to the kitchen, and during the racket I
made my escape to the road and a more peaceful neighborhood. I walked
briskly for a couple of miles, when I stopped and satisfied my ravenous
hunger.
This was my first theft of something to eat. Before this I had been
fortunate enough to obtain supplies of food from friendly slaves, but
for the twenty-four hours previous to my raid on the kitchen I had eaten
nothing. I make no excuse for this immoral act, and ask no one to say I
did right. I only did what perhaps any one else, under the same
circumstances, would have done. I was too weak from hunger and other
causes to withstand the temptation of obtaining the food as I did. As
soon as my appetite was satisfied, however, my sin rose up before me in
all its enormity; I felt distressed; and it came vividly in my mind, "In
that Christ hath suffered, being tempted, he is able to succor them that
are tempted." Oh, what had I done! I had lost God's help in this my hour
of trial. I prayed for forgiveness, and asked God to direct and protect
me. Yet I felt uneasy and depressed,--not that my faith in Jesus was any
the less, but that my sin would bring its own punishment.
"There is many a pang to pursue me;
They may crush, but they shall not contemn--
They may torture, but shall not subdue me,--
'Tis of God I think--not of them."
About daylight I reached a forest in which I could conceal myself during
the day. I slept soundly, being undisturbed, until dark, when I
proceeded onward. While traveling _that night_ I was compelled to pass a
large plantation. I was afraid some white person would see me,
therefore I avoided every one,--not being able to distinguish, in the
dark, a white from a black person. However, about daylight I met a
colored boy, who procured some food for me and directed me to a
cotton-pen close by, where I could hide and sleep during the day. When
night came--it was Thursday night--I crawled out of the pen and started
for another night's walk. I made very good time that night, and walked
to within nine miles of Memphis. I was afraid to go on into Memphis in
the day-time, consequently I slept in the woods that day without
anything to eat, my supply of food being exhausted.
I was very much exhausted, and suffered greatly from hunger. When night
came I started again. After proceeding on my way about two miles I came
to the village of Mt. Pleasant, where I thought to obtain something to
eat. I had passed nearly through the village without seeing any one; but
finally I saw a man who I mistook for a colored man. I accosted him,
when, to my chagrin and disappointment, he was a white man. I felt that
I had already betrayed myself; and through my fright and want of
steadiness I was again in bonds.
The man asked me numerous and various questions, as to where I came
from, where I was going, who I belonged to, etc.
I again sinned, and paid the penalty. I lied to the man. I told him I
belonged to a man by the name of Potts, and that I was going to his
plantation.
Quite a number of persons soon gathered around me, and by repeated
questions entrapped me. Inquiries were made as to the health of Mr.
Potts' family, and of Mr. Potts in particular. I stated that the family
were well and that Mr. Potts was as well as usual.
It turned out that several of the persons present knew the Potts family,
and that Mr. Potts had died two months previously.
I was immediately arrested and placed in a secure place, tied and
chained to the floor.
Thus sin brought me into trouble. Had I trusted to God and not been in
too great haste to get something to eat, he would have helped me. My
weakness made me forget that I should not lie to any one, seeing that I
had put off the old man with his deeds. In my great need of
strengthening food, Christ would have succored me had I not forgotten to
pray to him and ask his help, for "a man can receive nothing except it
be given him from heaven."
In nearly all the villages of the South, and on most of the large
plantations, were slave-jails, where runaway and refractory slaves were
incarcerated. These jails were usually a double pen, the inside pen
being covered with a roof, and the top of the outside pen being covered
with sharp iron spikes. Between the pens one or more savage dogs were
usually kept. This was the kind of place I was now placed in.
Hungry, worn out with my journey, and nearly naked, I soon fell asleep
from sheer exhaustion and slept soundly until morning.
After I had eaten my breakfast I was taken out of jail at Mt. Pleasant
and started back to Holly Springs, well ironed and guarded, where I was
recognized as Wilson's slave. Wilson was notified of my apprehension.
After laying in the jail at Holly Springs about three weeks Wilson came
for me. I had made several attempts in that time to escape, but did not
succeed.
I was ironed and compelled to walk, which, in my exhausted state, was
too much for me, and I was taken violently sick on the road, when Wilson
procured a conveyance and hauled me the balance of the way home. A
physician was immediately summoned, who ordered my shackles removed.
After the irons were removed I regained my spirits, and entertained
hopes of being able to make another attempt to regain my liberty. I was
very sick for several days.
About two o'clock on the last morning I stayed there I awoke and felt
fresh, and found that my strength had in a great measure returned. Upon
looking around the moonlit room I found that I was alone. To escape was
my very first intention. Getting out of bed I examined the window to the
cabin, when I found I could raise it easily. I gathered what clothes I
could find, as well as a blanket from the bed, and climbing through the
window made my escape unobserved. I did not stop to put on my clothes
until I had got two or three miles from the plantation.
I stayed in the woods about three weeks, when I returned to my master
and asked his forgiveness, and promised that I would never run away
again. I was forgiven.
During my three weeks' starving and hiding in the woods I had ample time
for reflection and thought. Prayerfully I considered my situation and
asked God's help to direct me. I came to the conclusion that I was
entirely wrong in my course. God, for his own good purpose, had placed
me in bondage, and in his good time he would relieve me either by death
or emancipation. My hardships, I felt, were by reason of my disobedience
to God's will. Although I was a slave God had given me my task in his
vineyard as a slave, and I should have fronted the wrath of my master,
Wilson, rather than that of God. I felt that I was doing wrong, and
after prayerful consideration I determined to do right, and go back to
the plantation and patiently await God's time to set me free.
Wilson received me as kindly as his nature would permit, and treated me
as he did the other slaves and as if I had never been disobedient to him
and ran away. I felt better, and knew then that I was right in the sight
of my heavenly Father. My views underwent a change for the better while
I was an outcast in the woods, and after that I was better fitted to do
my allotted work for God.