SIR,--You are wrong in supposing that the term, "Old Fireworks," was
originally applied to myself. I am of opinion, though I speak under a
certain amount of correction, not such, however, as my young friend,
GRANDOLPH, would like to supply, that the term Old Fireworks was first
applied to the celebrated _Mr. Pickwick_, though upon what occasion
and by whom I cannot at this moment call to mind. To your second
question, as to whether I approve of the conduct of _Mr. Samuel
Weller_ in resisting the Head Constable _Grummer_, I should say that,
considering the provocation offered, _Mr. Weller_ seems to have acted
with remarkable self-restraint.
Yours faithfully, G. O. M.
P.S. Chips, real good chips, warranted quite dry, and only waiting for
a match to set them in a blaze, may now be had at Hawarden Lodge at
the ridiculously small charge of three-pence a piece, or two shillings
and five-pence halfpenny per dozen. Immediate application personally
or by letter is recommended. Also a copy of Nottingham speech and the
Mitchelstown telegram, which, should any difficulty be experienced in
kindling a bonfire, will at once set the heap into a splendid blaze.
My song and chorus--
Remember, remember,
The Mitchelstown ember,
and so forth, ought to be ready at all respectable music-publishers
by November 3rd. 2s. 6d. per copy. Great reduction for clubs, schools,
&c. Chips! Chips! in the name of the Profit! Chips! G. O. M.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "LIKELY TO GET ON IN LIFE."
_Papa._ "IF I GIVE YOU SIXPENCE, AND TELL YOU TO BUY FIVE PENNY
PAPERS, HOW MUCH CHANGE WILL YOU BRING BACK TO ME?"
_Sharp Boy (considering)._ "WELL, PAPA--LET ME SEE--IF YOU GAVE ME
SIXPENCE----"
_Papa._ "YES--YES. HOW MUCH CHANGE TO BRING BACK TO ME?"
_Sharp Boy (readily, and with decision)._ "NONE--NOT IF YOU GAVE ME
THE SIXPENCE!"
[_Papa determines to put the question in a different way next time._
]
* * * * *