_First Passenger (in Underground Railway)._ We're such a frightfully
_insular_ nation! Ignorant, exclusive, say-nothing-to-nobody sort of
people! Think there's nothing beyond Straits of Dover--or Atlantic
Ocean.
_Second Ditto (agreeing out of politeness)._ Horrible? By the bye,
that's a nice picture of the Paris Hippodrome, isn't it?
_First Passenger (indifferently)._ Is it? But, as I was saying,
insularity is our----
_Second Ditto (startled)._ Hullo! By Jove!--no, it can't be true! Yes,
it is--here's an English newspaper taken to giving a column, a whole
column, of French news _in French!_ (_Humorously._) Very insular,
isn't it?
_First Passenger (not understanding the point)._ Very. And, as I was
saying, it's our besetting sin. We hide our heads like ostriches, and
refuse to recognise the existence of foreigners. Then what does this
insularity mean? It means we're _isolated_--cut off from Europe--hated
by everybody.
_Second Ditto (roused at last)._ I don't know what you call being
insular and isolated. French Plays are on at a London Theatre. An
Italian Exhibition's coming to Earl's Court. We get our music from
Germany, our singers from Italy, and our butter and eggs from Belgium
and Brittany; and, on the whole, don't you think London's about the
most Cosmopolitan Capital to be found anywhere? Ah, here's my Station.
Good morning!
[_Jumps out in time to escape indignant retort. Exit._
* * * * *
MAGAZINES IN BULK.--It is as impossible to "sample" a magazine by
a monthly number as it is to estimate the quality of a wine by the
glass. If you take a bottle you know something about it. Thus when we
see the _English Illustrated_ in volume we are fully able to
estimate its worth. The present volume is in every way equal to its
predecessors. Volume Fourteen of _St. Nicholas_ is one of those good
gifts that Brother JONATHAN sends us. It is a delightful collection
of child-poems, child-pictures, and child-lore. The editor, Miss MARY
MAPES DODGE knows full well how difficult it is to please those keen
critics, the children, but she has "dodged" it.
***
THE MAC BATTENBERG.--_Mr. Punch_ is delighted to hear that mother and
child are doing well, and congratulates the Infant Princess on being
the first of the Royal Family to be born in Scotland since 1600.
Could not the next be born in Ireland? "The O'BATTENBERG," would be a
splendid title.
***
LATEST FROM LICHFIELD.--DR. JOHNSON loved "a good hater." He ought to
have flourished next year--Hatey-hate! Ha! ha!
* * * * *
[Illustration: "EMPLOYMENT."
_First Loafer._ "'SAY, MATE, IF THEY WAS TO PUT A SHOVEL IN YER 'ANDS,
AN' TELL YER TO GO TO WORK, WOULD YER TAKE IT?"
_Second Loafer._ "'COURSE I WOULD."
_First Loafer._ "WOULD YER USE IT?"
_Second Loafer._ "'COURSE I WOULD?--LIKE A SHOT! I'D SPOUT IT!"]
* * * * *