CHAPTER XXXI

When we came to Capernaum, on the evening of the third day, we spent the

rest of that day in praying and praising God; and we fasted and besought

the Lord that we might see Jesus according to His promise. And so we spent

the next day likewise. But on the morrow, which was the fifth day of the

week, it being now a full week from the time when Jesus had broken bread

with us on the night when he was betrayed, we determined that we also

would break bread together, even as he had commanded us, in memory of him.

And about the sixth hour of the day, when we were seated together in an

upper room praying to the Lord, there came in Peter and James and other of

the disciples, but now returned from Jerusalem. And Peter related how the

Lord Jesus himself had appeared to him; and James said that he also had

seen the Lord Jesus. Now at first I feared lest it might be the will of

the Lord that Jesus should reveal himself to none save the Twelve; but I

understood that Mary of Magdala also had seen him.

Then two other of the disciples, and they not of the number of the Twelve,

related to me how Jesus had appeared to them also, at the breaking of

bread. For they had walked forth together conversing much about Jesus of

Nazareth, and about the hopes which they had had that he should have

redeemed Israel. “And so it was,” said one of them (for I will set down

the story as it was told me by one of the disciples, whose name was

Cleophas), “that we had just made mention between ourselves of the voice

and the vision of angels; making mention thereof as of an idle tale. And

it was the hour of prayer. And because of the extremity of our sorrow we

both fell on our faces, and poured out all our desire before the Lord,

beseeching Him for the Redemption of Israel. Then the Lord Jesus had

compassion on us and came to us. For when we rose up from praying, we

heard a voice from the Lord Jesus himself, chiding us for our folly and

slowness of heart in not believing all that the prophets had spoken; for

that it was needful that Christ should have suffered these things, and

thus to enter into his glory: and lo, at an instant the whole of the truth

of the Scriptures lay before our eyes, and all the meaning of the words of

the Lord Jesus withal.

“As we went forward, our hearts burned within us while the Lord revealed

unto us the Scriptures and all the meaning of his prophecies; but still

our eyes were not opened to discern that he himself was present with us;

yet we perceived that there was a divine presence near us. But when the

sun was setting and we drew nigh unto the village whither we were going,

our hearts became faint and dull, as if the presence were departing from

us. Therefore we knelt down once more and besought the Lord that he would

continue to us the strength of his presence. Notwithstanding even now our

eyes were not opened that we should discern him.

“But in the evening, it being now late, when we were sat down to eat bread

together, our hearts being full of the presence of Jesus, we brake the

bread and blessed it, even as Jesus had broken and blessed, and then we

said aloud, according to his word, ‘Behold, the body of the Lord;’ and lo,

at that word the cloud was removed from our eyes, and first my companion,

and then I also, discerned Jesus on the other side of the table, reclining

as if at meat (even as he reclined when he last brake bread with us), and

with his hands stretched out as if in the breaking and blessing of bread.

Now for a while (but I knew not how long, except that it was not very

long), Jesus remained with his hands still outstretched as at the first,

looking at us with a very loving countenance, but saying naught; and we

sat upright as men astonied and speechless, and not able to move for

astonishment; but when we rose up for to have embraced him, straightway

Jesus vanished out of our sight.”

All we that were in the chamber rejoiced when we heard Cleophas saying

these things. Only Thomas believed not; for the thing seemed unto him too

beautiful to be verily true, and he said, “If I believe that Jesus is

risen from the dead, and afterwards find that it is not so, then shall my

misery be increased twofold: therefore will I believe not.” And he added

moreover, “Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails and put

my finger in the print of the nails and thrust my hand into his side, I

will not believe.” We were grieved at the words of Thomas: howbeit none

rebuked him, for we knew that he spake out of his exceeding love of Jesus.

But we besought him to break bread with us that evening, according to the

commandment of Jesus.

So about one hour after sunset, we were assembled all together in the

upper room (it was a room in the house of Peter, wherein Jesus was wont to

sit at meat with us in past times), and Thomas also was with us. But the

door was shut and made fast for fear of spies; whom the Scribes in

Capernaum had begun to set over us for to watch us. When all things were

now ready, first we sang a psalm, even the same psalm that Jesus had sung

on the same night in the week before, when we kept the Passover together.

Then Simon Peter offered up prayers and praises to God, and made mention

of the comfortable words of the Lord Jesus, how he had said that he would

never leave us nor forsake us, but that wheresoever two or three were

gathered together in his name, there would he be present among them. Last

of all he spake of the testament of the Lord Jesus, how he had bidden us

break bread and drink wine in memory of him, that we might partake of his

body and his blood. Then began Simon Peter to break bread and to reach it

to each of us, and at the same time he said, “This is the body of the

Lord.” But behold, in the midst of his giving of the bread, Peter made a

sudden pause and was silent, and his eyes were fixed, and he gazed

steadfastly upon the place which had been left empty at the table; for

Jesus had been wont to sit there in times past, wherefore in that place

durst no man sit. Then I turned round hastily to look, and behold, Jesus

was there; as clear to view as ever I had seen him in this life, only very

pale, and there were the nail‐prints in his hands, and methought there was

a wound in his side; and the brightness of his love and compassion passed

sensibly forth from his eyes to mine, and all my soul went out to him as I

looked; but I could in no wise speak, nor did I desire to speak; for I had

thoughts deeper than all words.

Now not a hand moved, not a word was spoken: and there was such a silence

as if one could hear and count the footsteps of time; neither could I turn

mine eyes from Jesus till I heard Thomas weeping beside me; but he threw

himself on the ground, stretching out his hands to Jesus, and reproaching

himself for his faithlessness; and at the same time, pressing the bread,

even the body of the Lord which he held in his hand, he cried out saying,

“My hand hath touched; yea I have touched; I believe, I believe.” But

neither he nor any of us durst adventure to go to that part of the table

where Jesus sat; but when I looked again, behold his hand was stretched

out (even as the two disciples had described their vision of Jesus) as if

he brake and blessed the bread that was his body; and Thomas also heard a

voice (but I heard not the voice) saying that he was to touch with his

hand, according to his own saying, and to be no more faithless, but

believing. After this Jesus vanished from our eyes, and neither in his

coming nor in his departing was the door opened, but it remained shut

fast; whereat we all marvelled.

From henceforth old things seemed to pass away, and all things became new

unto us. For whithersoever we went, and whatsoever we did, we knew that we

had the presence of Jesus with us, even when we saw him not. But

oftentimes he revealed himself to us, and we saw him plainly; and this too

not only in the house and sitting at meat (albeit he oftentimes, and

methinks most times, revealed himself to us in the house), but sometimes

also abroad in the fields, or even on the lake. Yea I myself was once

present when a storm came down upon us on the lake, and the winds sent up

such waves as were like to have covered our boat, and we cried unto Jesus

in our terror; and behold, the storm ceased, and the clouds parted

asunder, and we saw Jesus walking on the waves and stilling them under his

feet. And to others of the disciples he appeared at another time, when

they had been toiling the night long at fishing, and had caught nothing;

and he gave unto them a draught of fishes exceeding any that they had ever

before taken.

But the most of the manifestations of Jesus were vouchsafed to us when we

brake bread together; after which manner also he revealed himself unto

James, as I have heard. For James had taken an oath that he would neither

eat nor drink until he had seen Jesus risen from the dead. Therefore on

the night after the vision of angels which had been seen by the women,

James was in the house at Bethany with Simon Peter and John, and the table

was spread for supper; but James would not eat. Then suddenly Jesus was

seen sitting in the midst of them, breaking bread and blessing it, and

bidding James to partake thereof.(13) But, as I have said, Jesus appeared

to us at other times and in other places, and not merely in the breaking

of bread; and sometimes in visions without a voice, but at other times in

a voice without any vision, and sometimes also, as it has been reported

unto me, by signs and tokens (without either voice or vision), and even in

the guise of strangers; and all this for the space of little less than a

year, insomuch that, if any one should adventure to set forth all the

manifestations of Jesus, and the time and place and manner of each, I

suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that should be

written. Therefore passing over these, I will relate how Jesus appeared in

Galilee on a certain mountain to more than five hundred of the brethren at

one time.

It was on this wise. A year, or not much less, had passed away since the

rising of Jesus from the dead; and we were still tarrying in Galilee, and

the Passover was at hand. Now during that year the number of the disciples

had been increasing, but not much; for we had not at that time been moved

to proclaim the Resurrection of Jesus. But as the Passover drew nigh,

Jesus began to manifest himself less often to us; and he made known to us

by the mouth of Peter and of other of the disciples that the time was at

hand when he should ascend up to heaven. Then there arose a questioning

among us whether we should go up to the Passover or not; for some said

that Jerusalem was an accursed city (because the doom of our Lord had gone

forth upon it), and that we should not go up; but others said that we

should go up; for the Lord would there reveal his will to us. Then it

seemed good that the disciples should meet together on a certain mountain

in Galilee, whereto Jesus had often resorted aforetime; and there we were

to consider of these matters and to ask counsel of the Lord. Now when we

were assembled to the number of five hundred in all, women and men

together, behold, as we were all offering up prayers with one consent in

the name of the Lord Jesus, there was a cry, “Behold him.” And Jesus

appeared unto us, of the same aspect as before, but fainter, and as it

seemed standing at a distance from us; insomuch that some that had not

before seen Jesus risen from the dead, were in doubt; and others said they

saw nothing. But when we prayed more earnestly, behold, Jesus came closer

to us, so that all, or almost all, could discern him; and he waved with

the hand as if bidding us go southward. Afterwards the Lord spake by the

mouth of Peter, saying that we were verily to go to Jerusalem. And so it

was determined.

Now in the meantime, while we were waiting till the Feast of the Passover

should come round, our hearts began to burn within us as if something

great must surely come to pass, and the time must be at hand when we

should go forth to preach Jesus to the world. For words may not describe

with how great a joy we lived during those days one with another, and what

a passion of love knit our hearts together; and it seemed a sin that so

much joy and happiness should not be imparted to others besides ourselves

only. For at this time we, the disciples of Jesus, were as it were in

Paradise, and joy went ever with us. For if we sailed upon the lake in our

fishing‐boats, Jesus was there; or if we remained in Capernaum, working in

the gardens, or on the quay, or about the booths, or went out into the

fields, Jesus was there; and when we met together in the evenings to break

bread in memory of him, or in the early dawn on the first day of the week,

to renew the remembrance of his rising again, then verily Jesus was not

only there, but also often visibly there; insomuch that while we touched

his body with our hands, and while we drank of the blood from his side, we

were able at the same time to feast our eyes upon the brightness of his

countenance. Yet with all our joy we were not yet moved to go forth to

preach the Good News. For it seemed sufficient for that present time that

we should take delight in the presence of Jesus, and suck in strength from

often beholding him visibly present among us.

Howbeit, though we were still as children clinging to the mother, and not

yet able to walk alone, notwithstanding day by day we were learning some

new thing concerning the will of the Lord: and the teaching of Jesus,

which had in times past been hid from us, began now to appear more clear,

and our eyes were being opened also to understand the Law and the

prophets; and we all now understood that it had been the will of God from

the first that Jesus should die upon the cross and give his life as a

ransom for many. Moreover, we began to perceive that a time might be at

hand when the Lord Jesus would depart from us, and seem to leave us alone

upon the earth to preach the Kingdom of God: and we no longer feared to be

alone, for we knew now that the Lord Jesus could never really leave us.

So we came up to Jerusalem. And it came to pass on the day of the Feast of

the Passover, Jesus once more revealed himself visibly to us; and by the

mouth of Peter he spake concerning that which was to come, and said that

he must now be lifted up from among us: howbeit his Spirit should abide

with us, and thence we should receive the power of forgiving sins. Some

also said that they saw Jesus open his lips like unto one breathing forth

breath upon another; as if he then breathed upon us the spirit of

forgiveness: but this I saw not, nor anything that Jesus did, save that he

blessed and brake bread, after his wont.

Now after the Passover we waited patiently at Jerusalem for nigh forty

days; and all that time Jesus revealed himself not to any one of us,

neither by sight nor by voice: and we questioned much among ourselves

whether we ought to delay longer, for our hearts were desirous to preach

Jesus. But when the feast of Pentecost was now at hand the word of the

Lord Jesus came to us, saying that we should go forth to Mount Olivet,

even to Bethany. And we went forth even as the Lord led us: yet he spake

no word more to us; and it was now the tenth hour of the day. And after

that we had walked for some while this way and that way upon the uplands

of that mountain (even where our Master had walked in times past), and

when we had spoken much together concerning all that he had said and done

in these same places, behold, we came unto a hollow cleft in the mountain,

whither no path led, nor was any habitation of men nigh unto it. Now by

this time it wanted but a little of sunset: yet were we loth to go back to

Jerusalem till we should have understood what the will of the Lord might

be. So Peter said, “Sit we down here, and let us pray that the Lord may

reveal his will unto us.”

So we sat down and prayed; but we saw nothing, neither did the Lord speak

by the voice of any of us. So we waited yet longer; but nothing came,

vision nor voice nor sign; and by this time the sun had set.

Notwithstanding it was not yet dark, for there was a wondrous brightness

in the west, and behold, all the clouds and air above us were filled with

a glorious appearance as of amber, and sapphire, and gold, and flames of

fire. Then Peter stood up and stretched out his hands unto the Lord Jesus,

and looked up to the heaven and said, “Thou, O Lord, didst promise that

wheresoever two or three were gathered together in thy name, there wouldst

thou be in the midst of them. Therefore, O Lord, be present now, we

entreat thee.” Now before the words had well passed from his lips, he

ceased on a sudden, and his eyes were fixed, and his hand pointed to the

sky, and John also cried out, saying, “He goeth up: lo, I see the Lord

Jesus going up to heaven.” Then I looked where John pointed, and lo, I

also saw the Lord. But his face was no longer pale as before, nor were the

prints of nails any more to be seen in his hands and feet, neither could I

now discern his features so clearly as was usual: for his whole form

seemed robed in a vesture of glory, and a crown of light about his head,

and he sat upon a throne of sapphire. For the space of a minute or more we

all gazed fixed in wonder; but then the throne rose slowly upwards, and

with it rose likewise the angels, like unto flames of fire, round the

sapphire throne; and so the glory grew fainter and more distant, and at

the last a cloud or a darkness passed over it, and received it out of our

sight.

But when the glory had now quite departed, we remained a long while

steadfastly looking up to heaven, yea, even to the darkness of heaven, if

perchance the glory might yet return to us. For we knew that we were now

bidding farewell to the Lord Jesus for ever. But at the last Peter spake

to us and said, “Be not sad, brethren, because Jesus is gone from us: for

I heard the word of the Lord coming unto me, even from the angels about

the throne of Jesus, and the message of the Lord unto us is this, ‘Why

stand ye gating up unto heaven? This same Jesus which is taken up from you

into heaven shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into

heaven.’”

Then we returned thanks to God, praising and magnifying Him whose mercy

endureth for ever; and we returned to Jerusalem rejoicing and singing

songs of praise. But in the evening, when we sat together at meat, Simon

Peter said that it behoved us, while we returned thanks to God for the

gift of the Law (for it is a custom of our nation to do this on the

evening before the morning of Pentecost), to return thanks yet more for

the gift of the grace of Jesus; and he also besought the Lord to give us

his grace even more abundantly, that the law of Jesus might be written on

our hearts. So we sat late into that night conversing together and praying

and singing praises unto God.

On the morrow we rose up very early and assembled ourselves together again

to pray: and there were with us many disciples of several nations, devout

men; not Galileans only, but also Alexandrines, and men of Cyrene, and

some of Mesopotamia and Cappadocia, who all believed in Jesus. When we

were now all assembled together and the door had been made fast, then

Peter stood up, and thanked the Lord for that He had given to us His Holy

One, Jesus of Nazareth, whom He had now taken to Himself; and he besought

the Lord that, as He had taken up Jesus to heaven after the manner of

Elias, so, after the same manner, He would send down some portion of His

power upon us (even as Elias had sent down power upon his disciples) to

the intent that all the people might know that the Lord had sent us to

preach His word to Israel.

Then did the Lord hear us and answer us from heaven, even as He answered

Elias by fire in the former days. For behold the Spirit from above fell

upon us, and there was a sound as of many voices, even as the roar of many

waters; and as the Lord touched the mouth of the prophet Esaias with fire,

even so did He give unto us the Spirit of fire upon us, according to the

saying of John the son of Zachariah, so that our hearts were all a‐glow,

and our faces kindling; and we prophesied as the Spirit gave us utterance,

according to the saying of the prophet Jeremiah, “Behold I will make my

words in thy mouth as fire.” But herein was a great marvel; for we sang no

psalms, nor did we speak in Scriptures, nor even in any articulate words;

but we uttered strange sounds, whereof we felt the sense, but knew not of

what language they were; for our tongues moved as the Spirit bade us. But

behold, certain of the disciples that had not been moved by the Spirit to

speak in tongues, were moved by the same Spirit to understand the meaning

of our words; and one came up to me and said, “Thou speakest the language

of Mesopotamia, even as I heard it in my childhood; and I verily

understand thee, for thou speakest the very thoughts of my heart, thanking

God for that He hath chosen us forth to be the servants of His son and to

proclaim His Gospel to all the world.” Then came another, a man of Cyrene,

and he said the like, namely, that I spake in his own language, which was

not the language of Mesopotamia, but the Punic tongue. Now while we all

marvelled hereat, and knew not what to think, Peter stood up and said that

the purpose of the Lord was that, in the times to come, all men upon the

face of the earth should be of one language and of one family. “And to

this end,” said he, “God hath this day sent unto you this sign and token.

For this day is fulfilled among you the saying of the prophets: And it

shall come to pass that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh. For the

time is at hand when all men shall know the Lord from the least to the

greatest. For men shall no longer be taught of priests saying, Know the

Lord; nor shall the knowledge of Him be given only to the rich and to them

that have leisure; but upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those

days will the Lord pour out His Spirit.”

Then did we all rejoice with an exceeding joy, and we went forth openly

into the temple for to magnify the Lord therein. And as I went, my heart

leaping up and dancing within me for the fervour of my gladness, there

came into my mind how, about three years ago, Philo the Alexandrine had

spoken to me of a certain _enthousiasmos_ that should fall upon the

righteous: but his _enthousiasmos_ was I knew not what, a passion for

“mere existence,” or for “that which is”; and I could not attain to

apprehend so much as the meaning of it. But now I had indeed attained to

the true _enthousiasmos_, which uplifteth and ennobleth and comforteth the

soul, and stirreth to action, and purifieth the thought, and pervadeth

every corner of the life of man, and includeth all things create and

uncreate; so that my heart went out in love to all the creatures of God,

and to all men without distinction, Gentiles as well as Jews, tax‐

gatherers as well as Scribes; yea, even to the Romans did my heart now go

forth in love.

But when we were come together to the temple, the Pharisees and the chief

priests and all the people marvelled at our boldness. For we were as

changed men in their sight; because we no longer feared them as of old;

neither, on the other hand, did we hate them, nor desire to revenge

ourselves on them for that they had slain Jesus. But we pitied them; yea,

we felt an exceeding compassion and love for them, as for them that

wandered in darkness, while we sat in a great light. Therefore were we

exceeding bold; and as for fear, we had forgotten what it meant: but we

desired to pour out the good news of Christ before all men. For our hearts

could not contain themselves for the abundance of joy and gladness and

peace which the Lord had vouchsafed to us. So the people gathered

themselves together around us. But when the Holy Spirit fell upon us, some

men mocked, and called us drunkards; but the more part gave heed when

Peter spake to them.

So Simon Peter spake in the ears of all the people, and said to them, even

as he had said to us, that this out‐pouring was for a sign to men, because

the Lord was to pour out His Spirit upon the face of the earth. Moreover

he added that Jesus was indeed the Christ, and that the Lord had raised

him from the dead (whereof we were witnesses), to the intent that he

should come again to judge the world in power; for he should assuredly

prevail, and cast down all his enemies beneath his feet. When the people

heard these words, they believed in Jesus; for a power went forth from the

mouth of Peter and from the mouths of the other disciples, so that their

words pierced into the very souls of such as should be saved. And we

purified them (for we also baptized, even as John the son of Zachariah had

baptized his disciples) and baptized them in the brook of Kidron. Then was

fulfilled the word of Jesus of Nazareth, which he spake unto the apostles,

saying that he would make them “fishers of men;” for on that day the net

of the Gospel was indeed cast, and great was the draught of the fishes, so

that there were added unto the Lord three thousand of them that believed.

Philochristus: Memoirs of a Disciple of the Lord · 第 31 / 32 章