Now so it was that, at this time, the more the hearts of the people were
drawn toward Jesus (for though the people of Nazareth had rejected him,
yet was he much honoured in the rest of Galilee), so much the more did
Jesus seem to thrust them away. For he began to teach us at this time that
he should give us no new law, but a certain manna or bread from heaven.
Now if he had said no more than this, this was not hard to understand; for
our Scribes also taught in parables after this fashion: but he added that
this manna or bread from heaven should be himself, his flesh and his
blood, which should be given for the life of the world. Now albeit I have
myself heard the Scribes speak of “the days when Israel shall _eat_ the
Messiah,”(8) meaning that Israel shall enjoy the presence of the Messiah,
yet Jesus seemed to mean somewhat more than this, insomuch that his words
were a stumbling‐block unto many. And straightway many of them departed
from him.
But when I went (according to my wont) to question Nathanael touching
these words, he replied that they were hidden from him also.
Notwithstanding it seemed to him that at this time our Master was
receiving some new revelation, whereof these words might peradventure be a
part. For he said that on the day before, when I had been absent, mention
had been made of the coming Passover, and how Jesus would not be present
thereat; and from mentioning the sacrifice of the Passover they came to
speak of other sacrifices; and one said that Jesus had come to take away
sacrifice, for that he had said that God desired mercy, and not sacrifice,
and that the right sacrifice was that the whole nation should serve the
Lord and do His will. Then another, quoting the Scripture, said, “Nay, but
the people may perchance stand in the place of the fuel and the fire: but
where is the lamb for the burnt‐offering?” Then answered another from the
same Scripture, and said, “God will provide himself a lamb for the burnt‐
offering.” And at these words, said John, “the countenance of Jesus
changed as if he had heard some new word from God.” Hereat I marvelled
greatly, and wondered what new thing the Lord was preparing for us and for
our Master. And the words of Judas came to my mind that, because John the
son of Zachariah had been slain, therefore Jesus had begun to imagine that
he also must needs be slain. But it was but for an instant; for I durst
not so much as entertain the thought of so great an evil.
But, as I now judge, the Lord Jesus began at this time to see clearly that
he must needs die for Israel, even as John the son of Zachariah had died,
and that he must needs rise again (according to the Prophets); even as the
common people spake, saying that John the Baptist was at this very time
risen from the dead. For he perceived that the needs of the world, that is
to say the will of the Father, required that he should rise again from the
dead. Moreover as John the son of Zachariah had gained strength through
death, so that all men still loved and honoured John, and were more ready
to die for him dead than living; even so Jesus perceived that he also
should have more strength to help us after his death than before his
death. But touching the manner of his rising again, and the time of it,
and whether he should appear in his own shape (as he did indeed), or in
some other shape (as did Elias in the shape of John the Baptist),
concerning all this, what was revealed unto him I know not; the Lord only
knoweth. But that he should of a certainty rise again from the dead, this
was without doubt revealed unto him; and, as I conceive, about this time.
For this cause, because he perceived that by the giving of his body and
blood to die for men, his spirit would pass into his disciples (even as
the spirit of John the son of Zachariah had passed into the disciples of
John), for this cause, I say, he spake at this time (as he did also
afterwards), saying that he would give himself to be the food of men, even
the Bread of Life. For his spirit was a spirit of sonship to God, and of
brotherhood to men; and except the world should receive this spirit into
itself, the world could not be quickened, and the nations of the earth
could not pass into the family or kingdom of God.
From this time also he began to be very careful, even to disquietude,
concerning us his disciples, what should be our estate when he should have
departed from us; and he desired to impart to us this Bread of Life that
we also in turn might impart it to the multitude. Moreover he would fain
exercise us already in imparting this Bread of Life, yea, before he had
passed away; to the end that, by beginning in his presence, we might learn
by degrees to be steadfast in the ministering of the Bread even though he
were absent from us. And for this he found occasion not many days
afterwards. For about the tenth day before the Passover, Jesus being still
on the other side of the lake (but I had been sent with Judas on an errand
to Capernaum), it came to pass that much people resorted to him; some from
Capernaum, and others from the parts round about the village wherein he
had lodged. For, because of the Passover, which was at hand, many were
going up to Jerusalem. Also of the Galileans some came; howbeit not James
nor Barabbas, nor any of them which had most authority with the Galileans.
Now Jesus himself ministered unto certain of them the Bread of Life, and
forgave sins, and healed the sick. But afterwards, because of the
multitude of them which came unto him (for they were more than five
thousand) he caused the disciples to divide them into companies and to
minister the Bread unto the people. So they ministered as Jesus bade them,
and the grace of the Lord was with them; insomuch that Thomas (who had
been at the first loth to minister the Bread, as not being worthy) came
afterwards to Jesus saying, “Of a truth the crumbs of thy Banquet which
are fallen from the table of the guests do suffice unto them that
minister: for the Lord hath increased the Bread of Life within us.” So
mightily did the Bread of our Master increase in the hands of the Twelve.
And Matthew said that Jesus had not only spread a table in the wilderness
for the hungry, but that he had also fulfilled his saying, “Give and it
shall be given unto you. For,” said he, “behold, to each of the disciples
there cometh back his basketful of the fragments of the Feast.” And the
like happened on another occasion, when they ministered the Bread unto
another very great multitude about four thousand in number.
All this I heard when I returned with Judas from Capernaum, bringing word
that the Thracians had left the town. So we returned to Capernaum, and
there we kept the Passover; for Jesus would not go up to Jerusalem to keep
it, though we were very desirous that he should go up; but he said that
his hour had not yet come. But scarcely had we been in Capernaum five or
six days, and the Feast of the Passover was still not ended, when we fled
(upon some new rumour of danger) from Capernaum again to the eastern side
of the lake. Now while we were rowing across, some of us murmured (though
not so loud methought that Jesus could hear) concerning our many flights
and wanderings, and we wondered why our Master would not suffer the common
people to make him king.
In the midst of our disputing Jesus called unto us from the hinder part of
the boat and said, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the
leaven of the Sadducees.” Then we looked one at another, for we felt that
we were guilty; for in the haste of our embarking, because we had come on
board before it was well dawn (for fear of the arrival of the Thracians,
which was reported to us) we had forgotten to bring with us any unleavened
bread; and the feast of the Passover wanted yet two days before it should
have an end, and behold, we were going to a Gentile country where our
customs were not regarded, so that we could not easily obtain such bread
as was needful. Therefore we confessed to Jesus, and said that indeed we
were verily guilty of sore neglect.
But when Jesus heard our words, he rebuked us for our want of
understanding; and he asked us whether we did not remember how the
disciples had ministered the Bread of Life to the four thousand and to the
five thousand; and he made mention of the saying of Thomas, one of the
Twelve, how the bread had been multiplied in the hands of the Twelve, and
also of the saying of Matthew the son of Levi, how the fragments of the
Feast had returned to them that ministered, and had satisfied them. So we
perceived that he spake not of the leaven that leaveneth bread of corn,
but of the leaven which leaveneth and corrupteth the bread of the soul.
Yet forasmuch as the Pharisees agree not with the Sadducees (neither do
they teach the same doctrine, nor observe the same customs) I could not
understand what this “leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees” might be. But
when I asked Nathanael thereof, he said that perchance Jesus desired to
warn us lest we should be led away in our hearts by the desire of this
world, and by the haste to be prosperous. “For,” said Nathanael, “the
Sadducees love place and wealth and ease, and the Pharisees love power
with the people, and the salutations of the rich, and the respect of the
poor, and the name and reputation for piety; and these sects do both go
straight towards their several ends. But, though several in appearance,
their ends are really the same. For both the Pharisees and Sadducees serve
themselves, and live for their own pleasure. And methinks our Master
feareth lest we too in the same way may follow him not out of love and out
of faithfulness, but from a desire to be prosperous.”
“But are we not,” asked I, “to be prosperous in the end?” “Yes, assuredly
in the end,” replied Nathanael; “but the end may perchance be somewhat
farther off than we suppose, and our course may perchance be somewhat
slow. For in all works there are two courses, the course of men and the
course of God. Now men work visibly and speedily, and with much stir and
noise; but the Father in Heaven worketh for the most part invisibly and
slowly, and very gently. Now it may be that the slow ways are best. But in
any case I begin to perceive that our Master loveth the slow ways best,
according to his saying that the Kingdom of Heaven is like unto the wheat,
which is sown and watered and resteth long unseen in the earth, and
springeth up at last and by degrees, and putteth forth, first the blade,
and then the ear and then the full corn; and all this by slow ways,
quietly and gently, while the husbandman riseth and sleepeth and goeth in
and out, and taketh no heed how great a work the gentle hand of the Lord
is working around him.”
Thus spake Nathanael, and I gave heed unto his words; for he seemed day by
day to grow in the love and knowledge of our Master, and behold, the
knowledge of Jesus seemed to bestow upon him knowledge of all spiritual
things, so that he was not like the same Nathanael whom I had first known
now a year ago. And the other disciples also were greatly changed from
their former selves. For we had now been a full year with the Lord Jesus;
and it was the sixteenth year of Tiberius Cæsar.