Hiawatha skinned the squirrel,
Just sat down and went and skinned it;
Went and skinned it to a finish,
From its skin he made some mittens.
Made them with the outside inside,
Made them with the inside outside,
Made them with the fur side inside,
Made them with the skin side outside,
Made them with the warm side inside,
Made them with the cold side outside.
Had he placed the fur side outside,
Had he placed the skin side inside,
Had he placed the outside inside,
And the inside inside
Then the warm side would have been outside,
And the cold side inside,
So to get the fur side, warm side inside,
Placed the skin side, inside, outside.
Now you know why Hiawatha placed the outside, fur side, warm side,
inside, and the inside, skin side, cold side, outside.
* * * * *
For when the One Great Scorer comes to write against your name He writes
not that you won or lost, but how you played the game.
* * * * *
“They don’t look natural,” said the man, as he rolled two threes.
* * * * *
How Kum?
Tom—“Where have you been for the last three hours?”
Bill—“In the saloon talking to the bartender.”
Tom—“What did he say?”
Bill—“No.”
* * * * *
Quick, Gents!
_At sixteen, risque,_
_Likes a naughty joke;_
_At seventeen, blase,_
_Tries to learn to smoke;_
_At eighteen, mildish,_
_Jolly just the same;_
_At nineteen, childish,_
_Getting rather tame;_
_At twenty, breezy,_
_Merely debonair;_
_At twenty-one, uneasy;_
_So re-bobs her hair;_
_But when she reaches twenty-two_
_Her rush turns to a shove,_
_For then her motto has become:_
_Love and let love._
* * * * *
Wanted: Man with ugly face to frighten children that play in my yard.
* * * * *
He Calls This “Poetry”
He’s got a swell noodle,
Our friend Ted,
He wears an eight and a half hat,
For a six and a half head.
* * * * *