"Well, it _is_ rather loose, but I could not with safety sail much closer
to the wind. By the by, I think you had better first apply for a rule to
stay proceedings against the bail in that case of Turner; and after that
is decided, just ask for this writ, off-hand as it were, and as a matter
of course. His lordship may not then scrutinize the affidavit quite so
closely as if he thought counsel had been brought to chambers purposely
to apply for it."
"Cautious, Mr. Ferret! Well, come along, and I'll see what I can do."
The writ was obtained without difficulty; few questions were asked; and
at my request the judge made it returnable immediately. By four o'clock,
Mr. Ferret, who could fortunately sleep as well in a postchaise as in a
feather-bed, was, as he had promised himself, on his road to Lancashire
once more, where he had the pleasure of serving Major Brandon personally;
at the same time tendering in due form the one shilling per mile fixed by
the statute as preliminary traveling charges. The vituperative eloquence
showered upon Mr. Ferret by the Major's lady was, I afterwards heard,
extremely copious and varied, and was borne by him, as I could easily
believe, with the most philosophic composure.
In due time the parties appeared before Mr. Justice Bailey. Miss Brandon
was accompanied by her uncle, his wife, and a solicitor; and spite of
everything I could urge, the judge, as I had forseen, refused to
interfere in the matter. The poor girl was dreadfully agitated, but kept,
nevertheless, her eyes upon Mr. Ferret, as the source from which, spite
of what was passing around her, effectual succor was sure to come. As for
that gentleman himself, he appeared composedly indifferent to the
proceedings; and indeed, I thought, seemed rather relieved than otherwise
when they terminated. I could not comprehend him. Mrs. Brandon, the
instant the case was decided, clutched Clara's arm within hers, and,
followed by her husband and the solicitor, sailed out of the apartment
with an air of triumphant disdain and pride. Miss Brandon looked round
for Ferret, but not perceiving him--he had left hastily an instant or two
before--her face became deadly pale, and the most piteous expression of
hopeless despair I had ever beheld broke from her troubled but
singularly-expressive eyes. I mechanically followed, with a half-formed
purpose of remonstrating with Major Brandon in behalf of the unfortunate
girl, and was by that means soon in possession of the key to Mr. Ferret's
apparently inexplicable conduct.
The Brandon party walked very fast, and I had scarcely got up with
them as they were turning out of Chancery Lane into Fleet Street, when
two men, whose vocation no accustomed eye could for an instant
mistake, arrested their further progress. "This lady," said one of the
men, slightly touching Miss Brandon on the shoulder, "is, I believe,
Clara Brandon?"
"Yes she is; and what of that, fellow?" demanded the major's lady with
indignant emphasis.
"Not much, ma'am," replied the sheriff's officer, "when you are used to
it. It is my unpleasant duty to arrest her for the sum of eighty-seven
pounds, indorsed on this writ, issued at the suit of one Susan Hopley."
"Arrest her!" exclaimed Mrs. Brandon; "why, she is a minor!"
"Minor or major, ma'am, makes very little difference to us. She can plead
that hereafter, you know. In the meantime, miss, please to step into this
coach," replied the officer, holding the door open.
"But she's a person of unsound mind," screamed the lady, as Clara,
nothing loath, sprang into the vehicle.
"So are most people that do business with our establishment," responded
the imperturbable official, as he shut and fastened the door. "Here is my
card, sir," he added, addressing the attorney, who now came up. "You see
where to find the lady, if her friends wish to give bail to the sheriff,
or, what is always more satisfactory, pay the debt and costs." He then
jumped on the box, his follower got up behind, and away drove the coach,
leaving the discomfited major and his fiery better-half in a state of the
blankest bewilderment!
"Why, what _is_ the meaning of this?" at length gasped Mrs. Brandon,
fiercely addressing the attorney, as if _he_, were a _particeps criminis_
in the affair.
"The meaning, my dear madame, is, that Miss Clara Brandon is arrested for
debt, and carried off to a sponging-house; and that unless you pay the
money, or file bail, she will tomorrow be lodged in jail," replied the
unmoved man of law.
"Bail! money! How are we to do either in London, away from home?"
demanded the major with, for him, much emotion.
I did not wait to hear more, but, almost suffocated with laughter at the
success of Ferret's audacious _ruse_, hastened over to the Temple. I was
just leaving chambers for the night--about ten o'clock I think it must
have been--when Ferret, in exuberant spirits, burst into the room.
"Well, sir, what do you think _now_ of a writ _ad sub._?"
"Why, I think, Mr. Ferret," replied I, looking as serious as I could,
"that yours is very sharp practice; that the purpose you have put it to
is an abuse of the writ; that the arrest is consequently illegal; and
that a judge would, upon motion, quash it with costs."
"To be sure he would: who doubts that? Let him, and welcome! In the
meantime, Clara Brandon is safe beyond the reach of all the judges or
chancellors that ever wore horsehair, and that everlasting simpleton of a
major and his harridan wife roaming the metropolis like distracted
creatures; and that I take to be the real essence of the thing, whatever
the big-wigs may decide about the shells!"
"I suppose the plaintiff soon discharged her debtor out of custody?"
"Without loss of time, you may be sure. Miss Brandon, I may tell _you_,
is with the Rev. Mr. Derwent at Brompton. You know him: the newly-married
curate of St. Margaret's that was examined in that will case. Well him:
he is an intelligent, high-principled man; and I have no doubt that,
under his and Mrs. Derwent's care, all trace of Miss Brandon's mental
infirmity will disappear long before she attains her majority next June
twelvemonth; whilst the liberal sum per month which Lady Compton will
advance, will be of great service to him"
"That appears all very good. But are you sure you can effectually
conceal the place of her retreat?"
"I have no fear: the twigs that will entangle her precious guardians in
the labyrinths of a false clue are already set and limed. Before
to-morrow night they will have discovered, by means of their own
wonderfully-penetrative sagacity, that Clara has been spirited over to
France; and before three months are past, the same surprising
intelligence will rejoice in the discovery that she expired in a _maison
de santé_--fine comfortable repose, in which fool's paradise I hope to
have the honor of awakening them about next June twelvemonth, and not as
at present advised before!"
Everything fortunately turned out as Mr. Ferret anticipated; and when a
few months had glided by, Clara Brandon was a memory only, save of course
to the few entrusted with the secret.
The whirligig of time continued as ever to speed on its course, and bring
round in due season its destined revenges. The health, mental and bodily,
of Miss Brandon rapidly improved under the kind and judicious treatment
of Mr. and Mrs. Derwent; and long before the attainment of her majority,
were pronounced by competent authority to be thoroughly re-established.
The day following that which completed her twentyfirst year, Mr. Ferret,
armed with the necessary authority, had the pleasure of announcing to the
relict of Major Brandon (he had been dead some months), and to her brutal
son, that they must forthwith depart from the home in which they, to the
very moment of his announcement, thought themselves secure; and surrender
every shilling of the property they had so long dreamt was their own.
They were prostrated by the intelligence, and proved as mean and servile
in the hour of adversity, as they had been insolent and cruel in the day
of fancied success and prosperity. The pension of three hundred pounds a
year for both their lives, proffered by Miss Brandon, was eagerly
accepted; and they returned to the obscurity from which they had by
accident emerged.
About six months afterwards, I had the pleasure of drawing up the
marriage settlement between Clara Brandon and Herbert Burford; and a
twelvemonth after, that of standing sponsor to one of the lustiest brats
ever sprinkled at a font: none of which delightful results, if we are to
believe Mr. Ferret, would have ever been arrived at had not he, at a very
critical moment, refused to take counsel's opinion upon the virtues,
capabilities, and powers contained in the great writ of _habeas corpus
ad subjiciendum_.