"SAVED BY GRACE"
Twelve years later, after a life spent on the road and in prison, I
found myself on the Bowery, in the fall of 1892, without a friend, "down
and out." After spending my last dollar in ----'s saloon, I was sitting
down in the back room of that place, wondering if I dared ask ---- for a
drink, when in he walked. He looked at me, and said, "Now, Danny, I
think you had better get a move on! Get out and hustle. You are broke,
and you know I am not running this place for fun."
I took it kind of hard, but looked at him and said, "All right." I got
up from the chair where I'd been sitting and walked out, not caring what
I did, but bound to get some money. Now, ---- was a good fellow in his
way; they all are if you have the price; but saloon-keepers are not
running their places for the benefit of others, and when a man's money's
gone they don't want him around. I had spent all I had, about twenty
dollars, and now I was turned out, and it served me right.
Now there's something in rum that fascinates, something we can't
understand. I wanted whiskey, and was ready to do anything to get it.
The appetite in me was fierce. No one knows the terrible pangs, the
great longing, but one who has been up against it. And nothing can
satisfy the awful craving but whiskey.
THE TURNING-POINT
Many's the time I've stood on the Bowery and cursed God and the day I
was born, and wished that I was dead. But here I was! Nobody cared for
me, and why should they, for I did not care for myself. I did not even
think God cared much or He would have done something. I imagined the
Devil thought he had me for keeps, and so he did not exert himself very
much either. I was out of the saloon, on the street, and little as I
imagined such a thing would ever happen, I never entered ----'s saloon
again. All unknown to me the turning-point in my life had come.
Sizing up the situation, I knew I must have a drink, but how was I to
get it? Up to this time I'd done everything on the calendar except
murder, and I don't know how I missed that. I've seen men killed, have
been in a few shoot-ups myself, and bear some scars, but I know at this
writing that God and a mother's prayers saved me from this awful crime.
Among the many accomplishments suited to the life I was leading was that
of a "strong-arm man," and I determined to put it into use now, for I
was desperate.
The rule in this dastardly work is always to select a man smaller and
weaker than one's self. As I looked about I saw a man coming up the
Bowery who seemed to answer to the requirements, and I said to myself,
"This is my man!" I walked up to him and touched him on the shoulder,
but as he straightened up I saw that he was as big as myself, and I
hesitated. I would have taken the chances even then, but he started back
and asked what I wanted. I said I was hungry, thinking that he would put
his hand in his pocket, and then, having only one hand, I could put the
"strangle hold" on him. But he was equal to the situation. He told me
afterward that I looked dangerous.
I asked him if he was ever hungry. He said, "Many's the time." I told
him I was starving. "Come with me," said he, and we went over to Chatham
Square, to a place called "Beefsteak John's."
We went in and sat down, and he said, "Now order what you want." On the
Bowery in those days you could get a pretty good meal for fifteen
cents--all you wanted to eat. The waiter was there to take my order. I
knew him and winked to him to go away, and he went. He thought I was
going to work the young fellow for his money.
The young fellow said, "Why don't you call for something? I thought you
were starving."
Now here I was up against it. I'd panned this man for something to eat,
and he was willing to pay for anything I wanted, and for the life of me
I could not swallow any food. When a man is drinking he doesn't care to
eat at a table. Give him a square meal, and he doesn't enjoy it. I know
men to-day who spend every dollar they earn for drink, and eat nothing
but free lunches, handed out with their drinks. That was what was the
matter with me. All I wanted was drink. The young man had called my
bluff, and I had nothing to show but lies. I sat there wondering how I
was going to get out of this hole. I was looking at the man and he at
me, when the little good that was in me cropped out, and looking him
square in the eye I said, "Young fellow, I've lied to you. I could not
eat the first mouthful." I told him I'd gone up to him thinking he would
dig down in his pocket and give me a little change. I did not mention
the fact that I intended to "put him up in the air" and rob him. Then I
sat back in my chair and waited for the "come-back." Finally he said,
"Have some coffee and sinkers"--rolls. But I could not go even that!
We got to talking, and he asked me where I was living. I smiled at the
idea of my living! I wasn't even existing! I told him I lived any place
where I hung up my hat: that I didn't put up at the Astor House very
often; sometimes at the Delevan, or the Windsor, or in fact, any of the
hotels on the Bowery were good enough for me--that is, if I had the
price, fifteen cents. You can get a bed in a lodging-house for ten
cents, or if you have only seven cents you can get a "flop." You can
sit in some joint all night if you have a nickel, but if you haven't you
can do the next best thing in line, and that is "carry the banner."
Think of walking the streets all night and being obliged to keep moving!
The man took a fifty-cent piece out of his pocket, held it in his hand,
and asked me if I would meet him at the Broome Street Tabernacle the
next morning at ten-thirty. Now I wanted that half-dollar, I wanted it
badly! It meant ten drinks to me at five per. I would have promised to
meet the Devil in hell for drink, and fearing the young man might put
the money in his pocket again, I said I'd be there. He gave me the
half-dollar, we shook hands, and I never expected to see that man again.
I didn't go back to ----'s, but to ---- Bowery--another place that has
put more men on the down-grade than any place I know. It's out of
business now, and as I pass there every day I pray that all the saloons
may go. I drank the half-dollar up in quick time, for with the Bowery
element it's divy even with drinks.
BROOME STREET TABERNACLE
Morning came, and I wondered what I should do for the day. How I loved
to stand and smell the liquor, even when not drinking! But now I hate
it! Oh, what a change when Christ comes into a man's heart! I had stood
there all night in that saloon and didn't feel a bit tired. I went out
to "do" some one else, when I thought of the fellow of last night. I
thought I had sized him up and that he was easy, so I started for the
meeting-place, the Tabernacle. I went there to see if I could work him
for a dollar, or perhaps two.
I got to the church and looked for a side door and found a bell which I
rang. I did not have to wait long before the young fellow himself opened
the door. Out went his hand, and he gave me such a shake that one would
have thought he had known me all my life. There's a lot in a handshake!
"I'm glad to see you!" he said. "I knew you would keep your promise. I
knew you would come."
That took me back a little. Here was a man I had never seen till the
night before taking me at my word. I wondered who he was. We went into
the church. He was talking to make me feel at home. Finally he looked me
over from head to feet and said, "Are those the best clothes you have?"
I said, "These are the best and only clothes I have." I had my trunk on
my back, and the whole kit, shoes and all, wasn't worth fifty cents. The
way of the drunkard is hard. I had helped put diamonds on the
saloon-keeper and rags on myself, but if there are any diamonds now I'll
put them on my own little wife and not the saloon-keeper's. The young
man said, "I've a nice suit that will fit you. Will you let me give it
to you?"
Here was a situation that puzzled me. I was an old offender, had "been
up" many times and was well known to the police. My record was bad, and
whenever there was a robbery or hold-up the police would round up all
the ex-convicts and line us up at headquarters for identification. Give
a dog a bad name and it sticks. I was suspicious; a man that has "done
time" always is; and when the young man said he had clothes for me, I
put him down as one of the "stool pigeons" working in with the police.
Since I'd graduated to the Bowery doing crooked work I imagined every
one was against me. It was a case of "doing" others or they would "do"
me. And I wondered why this man took such an interest in me. The more I
thought the more puzzled I got.
I looked about me. I was in a church; why should he do me any harm? Then
I thought that if I put on the clothes he might slip an Ingersoll watch
into the pocket, let me get on the street, and then shout "Stop,
thief!" I'd be arrested and then it would be away up the river for a
good long bit. However, I'm a pretty good judge of human nature, and I
thought I'd take a chance. It was a fine suit; and I could just see
myself putting it in pawn, so I said I'd take it. But "there's many a
slip 'twixt the cup and lip," and there was a strange slip in my case.
The young fellow said, "Don't you think you had better have a bath?"
Well, I did need a bath for fair. A man sleeping in one bed one night
and a different one the next, walking the streets and sitting around on
park benches, gets things on him, and they are grandparents in a couple
of nights. Of course I needed a bath! I was a walking menagerie! He gave
me some money, and I went out and had a bath and came back with the
change. He showed me where I could change my clothes, and there was a
whole outfit laid out for me, underwear and all.
I thought the man was crazy. I could not understand. At last I got into
the clothes, and I felt fine. I got a look at myself in the glass, and I
looked like a full-fledged Bowery politician. I said as I looked, "Is
this me or some other fellow?" I weighed one hundred and ninety pounds
and was five feet ten inches tall.
I went into the young man's study and sat down. I did not know what was
coming next, perhaps money. I was ready for anything, for I took him for
a millionaire's son.
Up to this time he had said nothing to me about God. Finally he opened
up and asked my name. I told him Dave Ranney, but I had a few others to
use in a pinch. And I told him the truth; kindness had won.
He said, "Dave, why are you leading such a life? Don't you know you were
cut out for a far better one?" I was no fool; I knew all about that. I
had learned it in Sunday-school, and how often mother had told me the
same thing. I knew I was put into the world to get the best, and glorify
God; and I was getting the worst, and it was all my own fault. Here I
was. I felt that no one wanted anything to do with me, no one would
trust me, because I was a jail-bird. But I have found out since there
are people that are willing to help a man if they see he is on the
level.
"Why," I said, "a man that has no backing has no show in 'little old New
York.' You even have to have a pull to get a job shoveling snow, and
then you have to buy your own shovel! What does any one care? The
politicians have all they want and are only looking for more graft. They
need you just twice a year to register and vote. I know I'm crooked, and
it's my own fault, I admit, but who's going to give me a chance? Oh, for
a chance!"
The young fellow listened, then said, "Dave, there's One that will
help."
I did not catch on to his meaning, but said I was glad and thanked him
for what he had done. I thought he meant himself. "Not I," he said; "I
mean God. Why don't you give Him a chance? Talk about men giving you a
chance--why, God is waiting for a chance to help you!"
Just then my old friend the Devil came in; he always does when he thinks
he is going to lose a convert; and he said in his own fine way, "Oh,
what rot! Why didn't God help you before this? Don't bother about it;
you have a nice suit; get out of this place and sell the duds and have a
good time. I'll help you. I'll be your friend." He's sly, but I put him
behind me that time.
It was easy enough for this man to talk about God giving me a chance,
but he didn't know me--a hard, wicked sinner, who if half the crimes I
had committed were known I'd be put in prison for life. Would God help
such a one? I knew I was clean and had a good suit of clothes on, but,
oh! how I wished God would give me another chance! But I felt as if He
had no use for me.
The man put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I want to be your friend;
will you let me?" I said I'd be proud of such a friend. "Now, Dave," he
said, "there's One better than I who will stick to you closer than a
brother; will you let Him be your friend?" I said I would, though I
doubted if He wanted any part of me, but I was going to make a try; and
the young man and myself knelt down in the Tabernacle, corner of Broome
Street and Centre Market Place, on the 16th of September, 1892, and I
asked God to have mercy on me, cut the drink out of my life, and make a
man of me, if such a thing could be done, for Christ's sake. I kept
praying that over and over again, the man still kneeling with me, when
all of a sudden I heard a voice say, "I will, Dave; only trust Me and
have faith." I heard those words just as sure as I am living, and
writing this book. None but a Christian can understand this voice;
others would say we are crazy who say such things; but it's true: only
have faith, and all things are yours. I've proved it!
A NEW MAN IN CHRIST JESUS
I rose from my knees a changed man. I can't explain it, but I felt as I
hadn't felt in years--lighter, happier, with a peace that was great in
my heart. I thought of mother and only wished she could see me then, but
she did all right.
"What will your friends say?" there was the old Devil saying. "Get out
of this place, and don't be a fool; be a man."
I stood there listening to the tempter, when the young fellow said,
"Dave, what are you going to do now that you have taken Jesus?"
I said, "I've knelt here and asked God for Christ's sake to make me a
sober man, and I fully believe that He will. Drink has brought me down,
and I'll die before I'll take another drink." And at this writing I'm
over seventeen years off the stuff.
I asked the young fellow what his name was, and found that he was
Alexander Irvine, lodging-house missionary to the Bowery under the New
York City Mission of which Dr. Schauffler is the head. We shook hands,
and before we parted we made a compact that we would be pals.
Isn't it wonderful what God can do? I don't believe there's a man or
woman, no matter how wicked, no matter what sin they've done, but God
can and will save, the only conditions being: Come, believe, and trust.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son, that
whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting
life."--John 3:16. But you have to have some sand of your own.
[Illustration: READING-ROOM IN A LODGING-HOUSE.]