_(The Winter Garden, evening. The Servant
settling benches and a table.)_
_Guardian: (Coming in.)_ Are the Dowager
Messengers come? They are late.
_Servant:_ They are come. They are at the
looking-glasses settling themselves.
_Guardian:_ As soon as they are ready you will
call in the Princes for their examination before
them, and their tasks.
_Servant:_ I will.
_Guardian:_ The Messengers will have a good
report to bring back of them. They have come
to be good scholars, in poetry, in music, in languages,
in history, in numbers and all sorts. The
old Queen-Godmother will be well satisfied with
their report.
_Servant:_ She might and she might not.
_Guardian:_ They would be hard to please if they
are not well pleased with the lads, as to learning
and as to manners and behaviour.
_Servant:_ Maybe so. Maybe so. There are
strange things in the world.
_Guardian:_ You're in bad humour, my poor
Gillie. Have you been quarrelling with the cook,
or did you get up on the wrong side of your
bed?
_Servant:_ There is times when it is hard not to
be in a bad humour.
_Guardian:_ What are you grumbling and hinting at?
_Servant:_ There's times when it's hard to believe
that witchcraft is gone out of the world.
_Guardian:_ That is a thing that has been done
away with in this Island through my government,
and through enlightenment and through learning.
_Servant:_ Maybe so. Maybe so.
_Guardian:_ I suppose a three-legged chicken has
come out of the shell, or a magpie has come before
you in your path? Or maybe some token in the
stars?
_Servant:_ It would take more than that to put
me astray.
_Guardian:_ Whatever it is you had best tell it out.
_Servant:_ To see lads of princes, sons of kings,
and the makings of kings, that were mannerly and
well behaved and as civil as a child a few hours
ago, to be sitting in a corner at one time as if in
dread of the light, and tricking and fooling and
grabbing at other times.
_Guardian:_ Oh, is that all! The poor lads.
They're out of their habits because of their Godmother's
Messengers coming. They are making
merry and funning, thinking there might be
messages for them or presents.
_Servant:_ Funning is natural. But blowing their
nose with their fingers is not natural.
_Guardian:_ High spirits. Just to torment you
in their joy.
_Servant:_ To get a bit of chalk, and to make
marks in the Hall of dancing, and to go playing
hop-scotch.
_Guardian:_ High spirits, high spirits! I never
saw boys better behaved or more gentle or with
more sweetness of speech. I am thinking there is
not one among them but will earn the name of
Honey-mouth.
_Servant:_ Have it your own way. But is it a
natural thing, I am asking, for the finger nails to
make great growth in one day?
_Guardian:_ Stop, stop, be quiet. Here now are
the Dowager Messengers. _(Two old ladies in
travelling costume appear; bowing low to them.)_
You are welcome for the sake of her that sent you,
and for your own sakes.
_1st Dowager Messenger:_ We are come from the
Court of the Godmother Queen, for news of the
Princes now in your charge;
She hopes they have manners, are minded well,
and never let run at large;
For she never has yet got over the fret, of their
five little cousins were swept away.
_Guardian:_ Let your mind be at ease, for you'll
be well pleased with the youngsters you're going
to see to-day.
They're learning the laws to speak and to pause--may
be orators then, or Parliament men.
_2nd Dowager Messenger:_ Are they shielded from
harm?
_Guardian:_
In my sheltering arm;
Do their work and their play in a mannerly way
And go holding their nose, and tipped on their
toes,
If they pass through a street, that they'll not soil
their feet.
_2nd Dowager Messenger_: And next to good
manners and next to good looks ...
_Guardian_:
I know what you'll say ...she asks news of the cooks;
I'm with her in putting them equal to books;
There's some rule by coaxing and some rule by beating,
But my principle is, tempt them on with good eating.
When everything's said, isn't Sparta as dead
As many a place never heard of black bread?
And as to a lad who a tartlet refuses,--
If Cato stewed parsnips he hated the Muses!
_1st Dowager Messenger_: And at meals are they
taught to behave as they ought?
_Guardian_:
You'll be well satisfied and the Queen will have pride,
You will see every Prince use a fork with his mince,
And eating his peas like Alcibiades,
Who would sooner go mute than play on the flute
Lest it made him grimace and contorted his face.
_1st Dowager Messenger_: Oh, all that you say
delights us to-day!
We'll have good news to bring of these sons of
a king.
_Servant_: Here they are now coming.
(_Wrenboys in Princes' clothes come in awkwardly_.)
_Guardian_:
Now put out a chair.
Where these ladies may hear.
Come over, my boys ...(Now what is that noise?)
Come here, take your places, and show us your
faces,
And say out your task as these ladies will ask.
I would wish them to know how you say _Parlez-vous_,
And I'd like you to speak in original Greek
And make numeration, and add up valuation;
But to lead you with ease and on by degrees
In case you are shy in the visitors' eye
I will let you recite, as you easily might,
The kings of that Island that no longer are silent
But ask recognition and to take a position--
(Though if stories are true they ran about blue,
While we in Hy-Brasil wore our silks to a frazzle--)
So the rhymes you may say that I heard you to-day;
And the opening will fall on the youngest of all.
_Servant:_ Let you stand up now and do as you
are bid. _(Touches 5th Wrenboy_.)
_Guardian:_ Go on, my child, say out your lesson.
William the First as the Conqueror known....
_(Boy puts finger in mouth and hangs his head.)_
Ah, he is shy. Don't be affrighted, go on now;
don't you remember it?
_5th Wrenboy:_ I do not.
_Guardian:_ Try it again now. You said it off
quite well this morning.
_5th Wrenboy:_ It fails me.
_Guardian:_ Now I will give you a start: "William
the First as the Conqueror known,
At the Battle of Hastings ascended the throne
..." Say that now.
_5th Wrenboy: (Nudging 4th.)_ Let you word it.
_4th Wrenboy: (To Guardian.)_ Let you word it
again, sir.
_Guardian_: "William the First as the Conqueror
known."
_4th Wrenboy_: William the First as the congereel
known....
_Guardian_: What is that? You would not do
it to vex me! Gillie is maybe right. There is
something strange.... (_To another_.) You may
try now. Go on to the next verse. "William
called Rufus from having red hair." ..._(He does
not answer_.) Say it anyone who knows....
_3rd Wrenboy: (Putting up his hand_.) I know
a man that has red hair!
_All the Wrenboys: (Cheerfully)_ So do I! So
do I!
_2nd Wrenboy_: He lives in the wood beyond!
He is no way good! He is an Ogre, a Grugach....
_1st Wrenboy_: He can turn himself into the shape
of a beast, or he can change his face at any time;
sometimes he'll be that wicked you would think
he was a wolf; he would skin you with his cat-o'-nine-tails!
_Guardian_: What gibberish are you talking?
_2nd Wrenboy_: He goes working underground to
get gold!
_3rd Wrenboy_: It is minded by enchanted cats!
_4th Wrenboy_: They would tear in bits anyone
that would find it!
_Guardian_: Now take care, lads, this is carrying
a joke too far. I was wrong to begin with that
silly history. Tell me out now the parts of speech.
"A noun's the name of anything
As school or garden, hoop or swing."
_5th Wrenboy_: An owl's the name of anything....
_Guardian_: A _noun_.
_5th Wrenboy_: An _owl_.
_Guardian_: Don't pretend you don't know it.
_5th Wrenboy_: I do know it. I know an owl
that sits in the cleft of the hollow sycamore and
eats its fill of mice, till it can hardly put a stir
out of itself.
_Guardian_: I do wish you would stop talking
nonsense.
_1st Wrenboy_: It is not, but sense. It devoured
ere yesterday a whole fleet of young rats.
_2nd Wrenboy_: It's as wise as King Solomon.
_Guardian_: Gillie was right. There is surely
something gone wrong in their heads.
_2nd Wrenboy_: Go out yourself and you'll see are
we wrong in the head! Inside in the old sycamore
he is sitting through the daylight.
_1st Dowager Messenger_: There is something gone
wrong in _somebody's_ head.
_2nd Dowager Messenger_: (_Tapping her forehead_.)
The poor Guardian; he is too long past his youth.
It is well we came to look how things were going
before it is too late.
_1st Dowager Messenger_: Ask them to say something
they _do_ know.
_Guardian_: Here, you're good at arithmetic, say
now your numbers.
_1st Wrenboy_: Twelve coppers make a shilling.
I never handled more than that.
_Guardian_: (_Angrily_.) Well, do as the lady said,
tell us something you _do_ know.
_2nd Wrenboy_: (_Standing up, excited_.) I know
the way to make bird-lime, steeping willow rods in
the stream....
_3rd Wrenboy_: I know how to use my fists; I
knocked a tinker bigger than myself.
_4th Wrenboy_: I am the best at wrestling. I
knocked _him_self. (_Pointing at 3rd_.)
_5th Wrenboy_: I that can skin a fawn after
catching him running!
_2nd Dowager Messenger_. Where now did you get
that learning?
_5th Wrenboy_: Here and there, rambling the
woods, sleeping out at night. I would never
starve in any place where grass grows!
_1st Dowager Messenger_: This is worse than
neglect. The poor old Guardian the Queen put
her trust in must be in his dotage.
_Guardian_: (_Hastily_.) Here, there is at least one
thing you will not fail in. Take the harp (_hands
it to the 1st Wrenboy_) and draw out of it sweet
sounds, (_To Dowager Messengers_.) He can play
a tune so sweet it has been known to send all the
hearers into a sound sleep. Here now, touch the
strings with all your skill.
(_1st Wrenboy bangs harp, making a crash_.)
_2nd Dowager Messenger_: (_With hands to ears_.)
Mercy! Our poor ears!
_1st Dowager Messenger_: That is the poorest
music we have ever heard.
_2nd Dowager Messenger_: That sound would send
no one into their sleep. It would be more likely
to send them into Bedlam.
_1st Dowager Messenger_: Whatever they knew
last year, they have forgotten it all now.
_Guardian_: (_Weeping into his handkerchief_.) I
don't know what has come upon them! At noon
they were the most charming lads in the whole
world. Their memory seems to have left
them!
_2nd Dowager Messenger_: It is as if another
memory had come to them. They did not learn
those wild tricks shut up in the garden.
_Servant: (To Boys_.) Can't ye behave nice and
not ugly? _(To Guardian_.) You would not believe
me a while ago. I said and I say still there is
enchantment on them, and spells.
_Guardian_: Oh, I would be sorry to think such
a thing. But they never went on this way in their
greenest youth.
_2nd Dowager Messenger_: If there is a spell upon
them what way can it be taken off?
_Servant_: It is what I always heard, that to make
a rod of iron red in the fire, and to burn the enchantment
out of them is the only way.
_Guardian_: Oh, boys, do you hear that! You
would not like to be burned with a red hot rod!
Say out now what at all is the matter with you?
What is it you feel within you that is putting you
from your gentle ways?
_1st Wrenboy_: The thing that I feel in me is
hunger. The thing I would wish to feel inside me
is a good fistful of food.
_1st Dowager Messenger_: They have been starved
and stinted! It would kill their Godmother on
the moment if she was aware of that!
_Guardian_: It is a part of their playgame. They
have everything they ask.
_2nd Wrenboy: I_ did not eat a farthing's worth
since yesterday.
_3rd Wrenboy_: My teeth are rusty with the want
of food!
_4th Wrenboy_: I want some dinner!
_5th Wrenboy_: We want something to eat!
_Guardian_: Give them whatever you have ready
for them, Gillie.
_Servant: (Giving the plates.)_ Here is the supper
ye gave orders for this morning.
_1st Wrenboy_: What is it at all?
_Servant_: It is your choice thing. Jellies and
grapes from Spain.
_2nd Wrenboy: (Pushing away grapes)_ Berries!
I thought to get better than berries from the bush.
_3rd Wrenboy_: There's not much satisfaction in
berries!
_4th Wrenboy_: If it was a pig's foot now; or as
much as a potato with a bit of dripping.
_5th Wrenboy: (Looking at jelly.)_ What now is
this? It has like the appearance of frog spawn.
_1st Wrenboy_; Or the leavings of a fallen star.
_5th Wrenboy_: Shivering it is and shaking. It's
not natural! (_Drops his plate_.)
_4th Wrenboy_: There is nothing here to satisfy
our need.
_2nd. Dowager Messenger:_ I am nearly sorry for
them, poor youngsters. When they were but little
toddlers they never behaved like that at home.
_3rd Wrenboy_: It's the starvingest place ever I
was in!
_1st Dowager Messenger_: There must be something
in what they say. They would not ask for
food if they were not in need of it. And the
Guardian making so much talk about his table and
his cooks. We cannot go home and report that
they have no learning and no food.
_2nd Dowager Messenger_: As to learning I don't
mind. But as to food, I would not wish to leave
them without it for the night. They might be as
small as cats in the morning.
_Guardian_: They are dreaming when they say
they are in want of food.
_1st Dowager Messenger_: It is a dream that will
waken up their Godmother.
_Servant_: Look, ma'am, at the table behind you,
and you will see is this a scarce house! That is
what is set out for yourselves, ma'am, lobsters
from Aughanish! A fat turkey from the barley
gardens! A spiced and larded sucking pig! Cakes
and sweets and all sorts! It is not the want of
provision was ever brought against us up to this!
_2nd Dowager Messenger_: If all this is for us, we
would sooner give it up to those poor children.
(_To Wrenboys_.) Here, my dears, we will not eat
while you are in want of food. We will give it all
to you.
_1st Wrenboy_: Is it that we can have what is on
that table?
_2nd Dowager Messenger_: You may, and welcome.
_1st Wrenboy: (With a shout.)_ Do you hear
that news! Come on now. Take your chance!
I'll have the first start! Skib scab! Hip, hip,
hooray!
(_They rush at table and upset it, flinging
themselves on the food_)
CURTAIN