It may be remembered that, on Father Phil's recommendation, Andy was
to be removed out of the country to place him beyond the reach of Larry
Hogan's machinations, and that the proposed journey to London afforded a
good opportunity of taking him out of the way. Andy had been desired
by Squire Egan to repair to Merryvale; but as some days had elapsed and
Andy had not made his appearance, the alarms of the Squire that Andy
might be tampered with began to revive, and Dick Dawson was therefore
requested to call at the Widow Rooney's cabin as he was returning from
the town, where some business with Murphy, about the petition against
Scatterbrain's return, demanded his presence.
Dick, as it happened, had no need to call at the widow's, for on his way
to the town who should he see approaching but the renowned Andy himself.
On coming up to him, Dick pulled up his horse, and Andy pulled off his
hat.
“God save your honour,” said Andy.
“Why didn't you come to Merryvale, as you were bid?” said Dick.
“I couldn't, sir, becase--”
“Hold your tongue, you thief; you know you never can do what you're
bid--you are always wrong one way or other.”
“You're hard on me, Misther Dick.”
“Did you ever do anything right?--I ask yourself?”
“Indeed, sir, this time it was a rale bit o' business I had to do.”
“And well you did it, no doubt. Did you marry any one lately?” said
Dick, with a waggish grin and a wink.
“Faix, then, maybe I did,” said Andy, with a knowing nod.
“And I hope _Matty_ is well?” said Dick.
“Ah, Misther Dick, you're always goin' on with your jokin', so you are.
So, you heerd o' that job, did you? Faix, a purty lady she is--oh, it's
not her at all I am married to, but another woman.”
“Another woman!” exclaimed Dick, in surprise.
“Yis, sir, another woman--a kind craythur.”
“Another woman!” reiterated Dick, laughing; “married to two women in two
days! Why you're worse than a Turk!”
“Ah, Misther Dick!”
“You Tarquin!”
“Sure, sir, what harm's in it?”'
“You Heliogabalus!!”
“Sure, it's no fault o' mine, sir.”
“Bigamy, by this and that, flat bigamy! You'll only be hanged, as sure
as your name's Andy.”
“Sure, let me tell you how it was, sir, and you'll see I am quit of all
harm, good or bad. 'T was a pack o' blackguards, you see, come to take
off Oonah, sir.”
“Oh, a case of abduction!”
“Yis, sir; so the women dhressed me up as a girl, and the blackguards,
instead of the seduction of Oonah, only seduced me.”
“Capital!” cried Dick; “well done, Andy! And who seduced you?”
“Shan _More_, 'faith--no less.”
“Ho, ho! a dangerous customer to play tricks on, Andy.”
“Sure enough, 'faith, and that's partly the rayson of what happened;
but, by good luck, Big Jack was blind dhrunk when I got there, and I
shammed screechin' so well that his sisther took pity on me, and said
she'd keep me safe from harm in her own bed that night.”
Dick gave a “view hallo” when he heard this, and shouted with laughter,
delighted at the thought of Shan More, instead of carrying off a girl
for himself, introducing a gallant to his own sister.
“Oh, now I see how you are married,” said Dick; “that was the biter bit
indeed.”
“Oh, the divil a bit I'd ha' bit her only for the cross luck with
me, for I wanted to schame off out o' the place, and escape; but she
wouldn't let me, and cotch me and brought me back.”
“I should think she would, indeed,” said Dick, laughing. “What next?”
“Why I drank a power o' punch, sir, and was off my guard, you see, and
couldn't keep the saycret so well afther that, and by dad she found it
out.”
“Just what I would expect of her,” said Dick.
“Well, do you know, sir, though the thrick was agen her own brother,
she laughed at it a power, and said I was a great divil, but that she
couldn't blame me. So then I'd sthruv to coax her to let me make my
escape, but she told me to wait a bit till the men above was faster
asleep; but while I was waitin' for them to go to sleep, faix, I went to
asleep myself, I was so tired; and when Bridget, the crathur, 'woke me
in the morning, she was cryin' like a spout afther a thunder-storm, and
said her characther would be ruined when the story got abroad over the
counthry, and sure she darn't face the world if I wouldn't make her an
honest woman.”
“The brazen baggage!” said Dick; “and what did you say?”
“Why what could any man say, sir, afther that? Sure her karacther would
be gone if--”
“Gone,” said Dick, “'faith it might have gone further before it fared
worse.”
“Arrah! what do you mane, Misther Dick?”
“Pooh, pooh! Andy--you don't mean to say you married that one?”
“Faix, I did,” said Andy.
“Well, Andy,” said Dick, grinning, “by the powers, you _have_ done it
this time! Good morning to you!” and Dick put spurs to his horse.