YEAR 1809
AS I come towards the events of these latter days, I am surprised to find
myself not at all so distinct in my recollection of them as in those of
the first of my ministry; being apt to confound the things of one
occasion with those of another, which Mrs. Balwhidder says is an
admonishment to me to leave off my writing. But, please God, I will
endeavour to fulfil this as I have through life tried, to the best of my
capacity, to do every other duty; and, with the help of Mrs. Balwhidder,
who has a very clear understanding, I think I may get through my task in
a creditable manner, which is all I aspire after; not writing for a vain
world, but only to testify to posterity anent the great changes that have
happened in my day and generation—a period which all the best-informed
writers say, has not had its match in the history of the world since the
beginning of time.
By the failure of the cotton-mill company, whose affairs were not settled
till the spring of this year, there was great suffering during the
winter; but my people, those that still adhered to the establishment,
bore their share of the dispensation with meekness and patience, nor was
there wanting edifying monuments of resignation even among the
stravaigers.
On the day that the Canaille Meeting-house was opened, which was in the
summer, I was smitten to the heart to see the empty seats that were in my
kirk; for all the thoughtless, and some that I had a better opinion of,
went to hear the opening discourse. Satan that day had power given to
him to buffet me as he did Job of old; and when I looked around and saw
the empty seats, my corruption rose, and I forgot myself in the
remembering prayer; for when I prayed for all denominations of
Christians, and worshippers, and infidels, I could not speak of the
schismatics with patience, but entreated the Lord to do with the
hobleshow at Cayenneville, as he saw meet in his displeasure, the which,
when I came afterwards to think upon, I grieved at with a sore
contrition.
In the course of the week following, the elders, in a body, came to me in
the manse, and after much commendation of my godly ministry, they said,
that seeing I was now growing old, they thought they could not testify
their respect for me in a better manner than by agreeing to get me a
helper. But I would not at that time listen to such a proposal, for I
felt no falling off in my powers of preaching; on the contrary, I found
myself growing better at it, as I was enabled to hold forth, in an easy
manner, often a whole half hour longer, than I could do a dozen years
before. Therefore nothing was done in this year anent my resignation;
but during the winter, Mrs. Balwhidder was often grieved, in the bad
weather, that I should preach, and, in short, so worked upon my
affections, that I began to think it was fitting for me to comply with
the advice of my friends. Accordingly, in the course of the winter, the
elders began to cast about for a helper; and during the bleak weather in
the ensuing spring, several young men spared me from the necessity of
preaching. But this relates to the concerns of the next and last year of
my ministry. So I will now proceed to give an account of it, very
thankful that I have been permitted, in unmolested tranquillity, to bring
my history to such a point.