A CASE OF CONSCIENCE

I

It was in Brittany, and the apples were already acquiring a ruddier,

autumnal tint, amid their greens and yellows, though Autumn was not

yet; and the country lay very still and fair in the sunset which had

befallen, softly and suddenly as is the fashion there. A man and a

girl stood looking down in silence at the village, Ploumariel, from

their post of vantage, half way up the hill: at its lichened church

spire, dotted with little gables, like dove-cotes; at the slated roof

of its market; at its quiet white houses. The man's eyes rested on it

complacently, with the enjoyment of the painter, finding it charming:

the girl's, a little absently, as one who had seen it very often

before. She was pretty and very young, but her gray serious eyes, the

poise of her head, with its rebellious brown hair braided plainly,

gave her a little air of dignity, of reserve which sat piquantly upon

her youth. In one ungloved hand, that was brown from the sun, but very

beautiful, she held an old parasol, the other played occasionally with

a bit of purple heather. Presently she began to speak, using English

just coloured by a foreign accent, that made her speech prettier.

'You make me afraid,' she said, turning her large, troubled eyes on

her companion, 'you make me afraid, of myself chiefly, but a little of

you. You suggest so much to me that is new, strange, terrible. When

you speak, I am troubled; all my old landmarks appear to vanish; I

even hardly know right from wrong. I love you, my God, how I love you!

but I want to go away from you and pray in the little quiet church,

where I made my first Communion. I will come to the world's end with

you; but oh, Sebastian, do not ask me, let me go. You will forget me,

I am a little girl to you, Sebastian. You cannot care very much for

me.'

The man looked down at her, smiling masterfully, but very kindly. He

took the mutinous hand, with its little sprig of heather, and held it

between his own. He seemed to find her insistence adorable; mentally,

he was contrasting her with all other women whom he had known,

frowning at the memory of so many years in which she had no part. He

was a man of more than forty, built large to an uniform English

pattern; there was a touch of military erectness in his carriage which

often deceived people as to his vocation. Actually, he had never been

anything but artist, though he came of a family of soldiers, and had

once been war correspondent of an illustrated paper. A certain

distinction had always adhered to him, never more than now when he was

no longer young, was growing bald, had streaks of gray in his

moustache. His face, without being handsome, possessed a certain

charm; it was worn and rather pale, the lines about the firm mouth

were full of lassitude, the eyes rather tired. He had the air of

having tasted widely, curiously, of life in his day, prosperous as he

seemed now, that had left its mark upon him. His voice, which usually

took an intonation that his friends found supercilious, grew very

tender in addressing this little French girl, with her quaint air of

childish dignity.

'Marie-Yvonne, foolish child, I will not hear one word more. You are a

little heretic; and I am sorely tempted to seal your lips from

uttering heresy. You tell me that you love me, and you ask me to let

you go, in one breath. The impossible conjuncture! Marie-Yvonne,' he

added, more seriously, 'trust yourself to me, my child! You know, I

will never give you up. You know that these months that I have been at

Ploumariel, are worth all the rest of my life to me. It has been a

difficult life, hitherto, little one: change it for me; make it worth

while. You would let morbid fancies come between us. You have lived

overmuch in that little church, with its worm-eaten benches, and its

mildewed odour of dead people, and dead ideas. Take care,

Marie-Yvonne: it had made you serious-eyed, before you have learnt to

laugh; by and by, it will steal away your youth, before you have ever

been young. I come to claim you, Marie-Yvonne, in the name of Life.'

His words were half-jesting; his eyes were profoundly in earnest. He

drew her to him gently; and when he bent down and kissed her forehead,

and then her shy lips, she made no resistance: only, a little tremor

ran through her. Presently, with equal gentleness, he put her away

from him. 'You have already given me your answer, Marie-Yvonne.

Believe me, you will never regret it. Let us go down.'

They took their way in silence towards the village; presently a bend

of the road hid them from it, and he drew closer to her, helping her

with his arm over the rough stones. Emerging, they had gone thirty

yards so, before the scent of English tobacco drew their attention to

a figure seated by the road-side, under a hedge; they recognised it,

and started apart, a little consciously.

'It is M. Tregellan,' said the young girl, flushing: 'and he must have

seen us.'

Her companion, frowning, hardly suppressed a little quick objurgation.

'It makes no matter,' he observed, after a moment: 'I shall see your

uncle to-morrow and we know, good man, how he wishes this; and, in any

case, I would have told Tregellan.'

The figure rose, as they drew near: he shook the ashes out of his

briar, and removed it to his pocket. He was a slight man, with an

ugly, clever face; his voice as he greeted them, was very low and

pleasant.

'You must have had a charming walk, Mademoiselle. I have seldom seen

Ploumariel look better.'

'Yes,' she said, gravely, 'it has been very pleasant. But I must not

linger now,' she added breaking a little silence in which none of them

seemed quite at ease. 'My uncle will be expecting me to supper.' She

held out her hand, in the English fashion, to Tregellan, and then to

Sebastian Murch, who gave the little fingers a private pressure.

They had come into the market-place round which most of the houses in

Ploumariel were grouped. They watched the young girl cross it briskly;

saw her blue gown pass out of sight down a bye street: then they

turned to their own hotel. It was a low, white house, belted half way

down the front with black stone; a pictorial object, as most Breton

hostels. The ground floor was a _café_; and, outside it, a bench and

long stained table enticed them to rest. They sat down, and ordered

_absinthes_, as the hour suggested: these were brought to them

presently by an old servant of the house; an admirable figure, with

the white sleeves and apron relieving her linsey dress: with her good

Breton face, and its effective wrinkles. For some time they sat in

silence, drinking and smoking. The artist appeared to be absorbed in

contemplation of his drink; considering its clouded green in various

lights. After a while the other looked up, and remarked, abruptly.

'I may as well tell you that I happened to overlook you, just now,

unintentionally.'

Sebastian Murch held up his glass, with absent eyes.

'Don't mention it, my dear fellow,' he remarked, at last, urbanely.

'I beg your pardon; but I am afraid I must.'

He spoke with an extreme deliberation which suggested nervousness;

with the air of a person reciting a little set speech, learnt

imperfectly: and he looked very straight in front of him, out into the

street, at two dogs quarrelling over some offal.

'I daresay you will be angry: I can't avoid that; at least, I have

known you long enough to hazard it. I have had it on my mind to say

something. If I have been silent, it hasn't been because I have been

blind, or approved. I have seen how it was all along. I gathered it

from your letters when I was in England. Only until this afternoon I

did not know how far it had gone, and now I am sorry I did not speak

before.'

He stopped short, as though he expected his friend's subtilty to come

to his assistance; with admissions or recriminations. But the other

was still silent, absent: his face wore a look of annoyed

indifference. After a while, as Tregellan still halted, he observed

quietly:

'You must be a little more explicit. I confess I miss your meaning.'

'Ah, don't be paltry,' cried the other, quickly. 'You know my meaning.

To be very plain, Sebastian, are you quite justified in playing with

that charming girl, in compromising her?'

The artist looked up at last, smiling; his expressive mouth was set,

not angrily, but with singular determination.

'With Mademoiselle Mitouard?'

'Exactly; with the niece of a man whose guest you have recently been.'

'My dear fellow!' he stopped a little, considering his words: 'You are

hasty and uncharitable for such a very moral person! you jump at

conclusions, Tregellan. I don't, you know, admit your right to

question me: still, as you have introduced the subject, I may as well

satisfy you. I have asked Mademoiselle Mitouard to marry me, and she

has consented, subject to her uncle's approval. And that her uncle,

who happens to prefer the English method of courtship, is not likely

to refuse.'

The other held his cigar between two fingers, a little away; his

curiously anxious face suggested that the question had become to him

one of increased nicety.

'I am sorry,' he said, after a moment; 'this is worse than I imagined;

it's impossible.'

'It is you that are impossible, Tregellan,' said Sebastian Murch. He

looked at him now, quite frankly, absolutely: his eyes had a defiant

light in them, as though he hoped to be criticised; wished nothing

better than to stand on his defence, to argue the thing out. And

Tregellan sat for a long time without speaking, appreciating his

purpose. It seemed more monstrous the closer he considered it: natural

enough withal, and so, harder to defeat; and yet, he was sure, that

defeated it must be. He reflected how accidental it had all been:

their presence there, in Ploumariel, and the rest! Touring in

Brittany, as they had often done before, in their habit of old

friends, they had fallen upon it by chance, a place unknown of Murray;

and the merest chance had held them there. They had slept at the _Lion

d'Or_, voted it magnificently picturesque, and would have gone away

and forgotten it; but the chance of travel had for once defeated them.

Hard by they heard of the little votive chapel of Saint Bernard; at

the suggestion of their hostess they set off to visit it. It was built

steeply on an edge of rock, amongst odorous pines overhanging a

ravine, at the bottom of which they could discern a brown torrent

purling tumidly along. For the convenience of devotees, iron rings, at

short intervals, were driven into the wall; holding desperately to

these, the pious pilgrim, at some peril, might compass the circuit;

saying an oraison to Saint Bernard, and some ten _Aves_. Sebastian,

who was charmed with the wild beauty of the scene, in a country

ordinarily so placid, had been seized with a fit of emulation: not in

any mood of devotion, but for the sake of a wider prospect. Tregellan

had protested: and the Saint, resenting the purely æsthetic motive of

the feat, had seemed to intervene. For, half-way round, growing giddy

may be, the artist had made a false step, lost his hold. Tregellan,

with a little cry of horror, saw him disappear amidst crumbling mortar

and uprooted ferns. It was with a sensible relief, for the fall had

the illusion of great depth, that, making his way rapidly down a

winding path, he found him lying on a grass terrace, amidst _débris_

twenty feet lower, cursing his folly, and holding a lamentably

sprained ankle, but for the rest uninjured! Tregellan had made off in

haste to Ploumariel in search of assistance; and within the hour he

had returned with two stalwart Bretons and M. le Docteur Mitouard.

Their tour had been, naturally, drawing to its close. Tregellan indeed

had an imperative need to be in London within the week. It seemed,

therefore, a clear dispensation of Providence, that the amiable doctor

should prove an hospitable person, and one inspiring confidence no

less. Caring greatly for things foreign, and with an especial passion

for England, a country whence his brother had brought back a wife; M.

le Docteur Mitouard insisted that the invalid could be cared for

properly at his house alone. And there, in spite of protestations,

earnest from Sebastian, from Tregellan halfhearted, he was installed.

And there, two days later, Tregellan left him with an easy mind;

bearing away with him, half enviously, the recollection of the young,

charming face of a girl, the Doctor's niece, as he had seen her

standing by his friend's sofa when he paid his _adieux_; in the

beginnings of an intimacy, in which, as he foresaw, the petulance of

the invalid, his impatience at an enforced detention, might be

considerably forgot. And all that had been two months ago.

The Poems and Prose of Ernest Dowson, With a Memoir by Arthur Symons · 第 106 / 116 题