[THE REV. LAURENCE STERNE, M.A.]
[FIRST PUBLISHED IN 1768.]
THEY order, said I, this matter better in France.—You have been in
France? said my gentleman, turning quick upon me, with the most civil
triumph in the world.—Strange! quoth I, debating the matter with myself,
That one and twenty miles sailing, for ’tis absolutely no further from
Dover to Calais, should give a man these rights:—I’ll look into them: so,
giving up the argument,—I went straight to my lodgings, put up half a
dozen shirts and a black pair of silk breeches,—“the coat I have on,”
said I, looking at the sleeve, “will do;”—took a place in the Dover
stage; and the packet sailing at nine the next morning,—by three I had
got sat down to my dinner upon a fricaseed chicken, so incontestably in
France, that had I died that night of an indigestion, the whole world
could not have suspended the effects of the _droits d’aubaine_; {557}—my
shirts, and black pair of silk breeches,—portmanteau and all, must have
gone to the King of France;—even the little picture which I have so long
worn, and so often have told thee, Eliza, I would carry with me into my
grave, would have been torn from my neck!—Ungenerous! to seize upon the
wreck of an unwary passenger, whom your subjects had beckoned to their
coast!—By heaven! Sire, it is not well done; and much does it grieve me,
’tis the monarch of a people so civilized and courteous, and so renowned
for sentiment and fine feelings, that I have to reason with!—