CHRISTIAN WEDDINGS—GREEK, BULGARIAN, AND ARMENIAN.
_Greek Weddings._—The _Arravón_—Dowry—The Bridegroom’s Call
of Ceremony—The Wedding Festivities—Monday: the Sifting of
the Grain—Wednesday: the Making of the Wedding Cakes—Friday:
Bridal Presents—Saturday: Invitations; Dressing of the Bride’s
Hair and Shaving of the Bridegroom—Sunday: the Wedding;
Kissing of the Bridegroom—The Second _Arravón_—Duties of Best
Man—At the Church—Ceremonies on re-entering the House—The
final Dance—Monday: Feeding of the Bride—Offering at the
Well—Separation and Divorce among the Greeks.
_Bulgarian Weddings._—Betrothal—Never Broken—Preparatory
Ceremonies—The Wedding—Procession to the Cellar—Christian
Marriage Service mixed with Dionysian Rites—Offering to
the Water Deities—Punishment of Unchastity—Turkish Raids
upon Brides—Bulgarian Trousseau—Marriage among the Wealthy
Bulgarians of the Towns—Ladies from Abroad.
_Armenian Weddings._—The Offer—Wedding Ceremonies—Friday:
the Bath—Saturday: the Maidens’ Feast—Sunday: Feast of
Young Men and Girls—Caging of the Bride—The Bridegroom’s
Toilette—The Barber—Procession to the Bride—“Half-Service”—To
the Church—Multiple Marriage—Rite—Return to the House—Scramble
for Stockings—The Virgin Guard—Wednesday: Conclusion of
Marriage—Etiquette of Conversation.
Greek weddings vary in form and custom according to the country in which
they are celebrated and to the degree of modification ancient customs
have experienced under the influence of modern ideas. One of the most
interesting forms is that practised at Vodena (Edessa, the ancient
capital of Macedonia), as comprising in its forms many of the customs and
usages of the ancient Greeks. The preliminary ceremony is the ἀρραβών, or
troth, which, though it is not a religious rite, is considered binding,
and cannot lightly be set aside. An incident that happened at Broussa
will show how strong is the bond of this mere verbal engagement. A
young Greek girl, who had been talked about in the town, was portioned
by her influential protector, and engaged to a young peasant who was
unacquainted with her and ignorant of her antecedents and was induced to
pledge his word to marry her. All had been prepared for the ceremony.
The young man was hurried to church, where he and his friends became
acquainted with the bride. Her appearance did not satisfy the bridegroom,
and he refused to fulfil his promise. The officiating priest insisted
on the completion of the ceremony, in right of the bridegroom’s pledged
word. A scuffle ensued, and the active peasant, helped by his friends,
effected his escape from the church, leaving his _fez_ in the hands of
one of his antagonists; and, later on, obtained his release by legal
proceedings.
Contrary to European custom, the young men are sought in marriage by the
parents of the girl, or through the intermediary, in imitation of their
ancestors, who employed such persons in this service.
The usual age for the men is twenty-five, and for the girls eighteen. The
dowry is settled in the presence of witnesses, who bear testimony to the
right of inheritance of the children, and the _arravón_ is considered
concluded when the bridegroom declares himself satisfied with the amount
of the promised dowry. This belongs unconditionally to the husband,
except in case of divorce, when it is returned, in accordance with a law
identical with that of the ancient Athenians. The modern Greeks appear to
attach as much importance to the dowry as the ancient, although it is no
longer meant to denote the difference between the γυνή and the παλλακή,
which was marked by the wife bringing a dowry whilst the concubine
brought none.
The _trousseau_ is being prepared long before it is required by the
careful parents, who by degrees buy all the materials for it, the girl
herself having no other concern than to give her help towards making up
the various articles of dress.
No Greek of the present day would refuse to co-operate with his father
in portioning his sisters. He will renounce to himself the privilege of
taking a wife while any of his sisters remain unmarried.
As soon as the engagement is made public, the συνδεδεμένος, in company
with his relatives and friends, pays his respects to the house of his
future wife, who presents herself in an extremely bashful attitude, her
eyes cast down, her hands crossed on her breast, and her mien on the
whole that of one who tries to conceal pride and joy under a stiff and
conceited exterior.[25] Receiving the felicitations of those present,
she bows three times, and then retires. Gilt βασιλικός (basil) is
offered as a memento of the event, a relic of the ancients, who used
herbs and flowers in connection with the affairs of marriage. As the
company retire, the ἀρραβωνιαστική (bride), standing at the head of
the staircase, kisses the hands of her future husband and his friends,
receiving in return gifts of gold coins. This custom of kissing hands on
the part of the woman is a humiliating, but in the East a common, mark of
submission, which our western ideas have happily reversed.
It is customary for the bridegroom to send occasional presents to the
bride in the interval—of varying length—between the betrothal and the
wedding. The document containing the conditions of the ἀρραβών is
delivered to the bridegroom on the Sunday previous to the wedding, and
its receipt is acknowledged by a present of bonbons, henna, hair-dye,
rouge, and soap, together with a double flask containing wine.
On Monday, the bride and her maiden friends collect, and, as in olden
time, sift the grain, which, on its return from the mill, will be
converted by them into bridal cakes. Very bright are the faces and very
merry the voices of these young maidens thus busily employed; the room
resounds with their gay laughter and joyous songs. On Wednesday the gay
company again assembles, increased in number by friends and relatives,
who arrive in the evening to assist in kneading the dough. The trough is
brought in and filled with a snowy pile of flour, which the Macedonian
maidens delight in converting into savory cakes that none could disdain
to partake of; and, especially on this occasion, they do their utmost
to make them worthy emblems of what their ancestors intended them to
represent. The trough is occupied at one end by a saddle mounted by a
boy girded with a sword; on the other by a girl, whose tiny hands must
be the first to mix the dough and lose in it the ring and coins. These
children must be bright and happy, their lives unclouded by the death
of even a distant relation. This custom, having survived the march of
centuries, is left as an inheritance to the Macedonians, pointing out to
the γαμβρός (bridegroom) the duties of the husband, the care and defence
of his home,—together with his out-door labors,—while it signifies to
the Macedonian maiden that she cannot begin too early to attend to her
household affairs. The kneading is continued by more experienced hands,
and the dough left till the morrow, when it is divided into portions and
handed round to the company, who all hopefully look for the hidden ring,
for which the lucky finder receives a present when returning it to the
bridegroom. The paste, re-collected, is mixed with the rest of the dough,
from which the _propkasto_ (wedding cake) and a variety of other cakes
are made. On Thursday the _propkasto_ is placed over a bowl of water,
round which, after the merry mid-day meal, the happy youths and maidens
dance three times, singing a song suited to the occasion. The cake is
then taken up, broken in pieces, and, together with figs and other
fruits, thrown over the heads of the couple; the children, scrambling for
these, are covered with a blanket, another surviving custom of ancient
Greece, figs and cakes denoting plenty, rendered doubly significant by
the scrambling children covered with the blanket, emblematic of the
future fruitfulness of the union itself.
Friday is reserved for the interchange of presents between the bride
and bridegroom, each awaiting with loving curiosity the expected gift
of the other; the right of the first surprise belongs to the bride,
whose beating heart responds to the distant sounds of music that herald
the approach of the bearers, who, on arrival, after having been thanked
and refreshed, are intrusted with the presents destined by her for her
betrothed.
On Saturday, invitations are issued, a formality extended to the bride
and bridegroom who invite one another, enlivened, as regards the
_Koumbáros_ and _Koumbára_,[26] with bands of music, which, accompanying
the invitation, lead these distinguished visitors back to partake of the
festivities of the day.
In the evening the young girls for the last time rally round their
comrade, who, on the next day, is to leave their ranks; and, amid songs,
tears, and vows of unalterable friendship, the bride abandons her
youthful locks, dyed black, into the hands of her friends, who dress it
in a number of plaits in readiness for the next day. The bridegroom on
his part, accompanied by his friends and cheered by the sounds of lively
music, submits to the operation of shaving; during which operation an ode
to the razor is sung.
Sunday, looked upon as the most propitious day, is fixed for the
celebration of the nuptials; relatives and friends collect at the abode
of the bridegroom, kiss the happy man, offering him felicitations and
presents, and conduct him to the home of the bride, preceded by the
mother, who, on leaving the house, empties a jar of water at the gate,
and places on the ground a belt, over which her son steps. The procession
stops on its way to take the _koumbáros_ and the _koumbára_. On arriving
at their destination, the formality of exchanging the documents
containing the marriage contracts is gone through; these are presented
by the priest to the respective parties, the dowry in cash is delivered
and sent to the bridegroom’s home. The second ἀρραβών then takes place in
the following manner, and in accordance with the customs of the ancient
Greeks. The bride’s father, or nearest of kin, presents himself to the
father, or nearest of kin, of the bridegroom, and offers him in a plate
some basil, saying, “Accept the engagement of my daughter to your son,”
repeating his request three times; this ceremony is repeated on the
bridegroom’s side, and followed by the presentation of a glass of wine,
a ring-shaped cake, and a spoon to the bridegroom, who partakes of the
wine, and drops money into the glass, in acknowledgment to the bride of
this attention; he keeps half the cake, giving the other half and the
spoon into the charge of the best man, who feeds the bride with it next
morning. This messenger is followed by another, who comes to gird the
bridegroom, lifting him up at the same time, which latter task is made as
difficult as possible by the person operated upon, in order to gain more
consideration. More kisses are now showered upon him by the relatives of
the bride, after which he is left in peace for a time; while the bride,
in another room, has her own trials to go through, those trials of the
heart which belong to the supreme moment when the maiden is about to tear
herself away from the thousand dear associations of home, to bid farewell
to mother and brother and sister, and then to enter upon new duties, new
ties and affections.
Like all things, this soon comes to an end; it is the best man’s duty
to conclude it, in a strictly unsentimental manner, by putting on the
bride’s boots, a gift from her future husband. The bride, veiled, is led
to the church, followed by the rest of the company; bonbons are thrown
over her head and water spilt, this time by her mother, on her march as
she passes the gate. The clear rhythm of a triumphal march, accompanied
by a bridal chorus, rules the slow steps of the procession. At length
it reaches the church; but before entering it, the bridegroom’s mother
asks the maiden three times, “Bride, hast thou the shoes?” The couple
then enter the church, holding richly-decorated tapers, and proceed to
the altar, where they stand side by side, the bride on the left of the
bridegroom. The priest, after reading part of the ritual, makes the
sign of the cross three times with the rings over the heads of their
respective owners, and places them on their hands, saying, Ἀρραβωνίζετε
ὁ δοῦλος τοῦ θεοῦ (giving the name of the man), τὴν δούλην τοῦ θεοῦ (the
name of the woman), in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,
three times; leaving to the _koumbáros_ the duty of exchanging them.
This terminates the third ἀρραβών, and the marriage service begins by
the priest taking the wedding wreaths, placing them on the heads of the
bride and the bridegroom, saying, Στέφετε ὁ δοῦλος τοῦ θεοὑ (giving the
name of the bridegroom), τὴν δούλην τοῦ θεοῦ (the name of the woman),
in the name of the Father, etc., exchanging them three times. A glass
of wine, consecrated by the priest, is offered first to the bridegroom,
then to the bride, and finally to the _koumbáros_ standing behind the
couple holding the wreaths. The priest then joins their hands, and leads
them three times round the altar; the _koumbáros_ follows. The priest
then removes the bridegroom’s crown, saying, Μεγαλύνθητι Νυμφίε ὡς ὁ
Ἀβραὰμ καὶ εὐλογήθητι ὡς ὁ Ἰσαὰκ καὶ πληθύνθητι ὡς ὁ Ἰακώβ, and that of
the bride, saying, Καὶ σὺ, νύμφη, μεγλιζε ὡς ἡ Σαῤῥὰ καὶ εὐφράνθητι ὠς ἡ
Ῥεβεχὰ, κ. τ. λ.
The ceremony concluded, the _koumbáros_ followed by the relations,
kisses the bride and bridegroom, while the friends in offering their
congratulations kiss the bridegroom and the wreath of the bride. On
returning, the bride’s mother welcomes the couple by placing two loaves
on their heads, while a fresh shower of comfits is being thrown over
them. They are finally conducted to the nuptial chamber, and not spared
the ordeal of sweetmeat-eating. The quince of the ancients is replaced by
sugar-plums.
The manner in which this is given and taken is curious. The couple bend
on one knee, placing a few sugar-plums on the other, which each strives
to pick up with the lips, the most expeditious having the right first
to resume liberty of posture. I have not been able to ascertain if this
particular custom is meant to predict supreme power to the lord and
master in case of success, or his subjection to petticoat government in
case of failure.
Towards evening, the bride, led by her father-in-law, or husband’s
nearest of kin, proceeds to the common outside the town or village,
and opens a round dance, called the _surto_. This dance consists of a
quick step, accompanied by music and chanting; after its performance the
company disperse, the nearest relations leading the couple home.
On Monday morning the sleepers are wakened by songs, and the _koumbáros_,
invited to partake of the frugal morning meal, feeds the bride with the
remaining half of the cake, and offers her the spoon with which she eats
the first mouthful of food that day.
Breakfast over, the bride is the first to leave the table, and goes to
the well accompanied by her friends, round which she walks three times,
dropping an _obol_ into it from her lips, a sacred attention of the
ancients to the water deities, and still in vogue among the moderns. On
returning home, the bride, desirous of making her husband share in the
benefits of her dedication, pours some water over his hands, offering at
the same time the towel on which to dry them, and receiving in return a
present from him.
The rejoicings continue throughout the day, the bride’s father, or
nearest of kin, having this time the right of opening the dance with her.
On the following Friday evening, the young matron proudly returns in
company with her husband, to the paternal roof, under which they remain
till Saturday night.
Five days afterwards the bride again returns to visit her mother, taking
with her a bottle of _raki_, which she exchanges, taking a fresh supply
back with her. The Saturday following, a great feast is given by the
bride’s father, inviting all the relatives to a cordial but sober meal.
In the evening the bride is accompanied home by the party, when she is
left in peace to enter upon the duties of her new home.
The modern Greeks fully deserve the praise they receive for the virtues
that distinguish their family life, the harmony of which is seldom
disturbed by the troubles and dissensions caused by illegal connections,
acts of cruelty, or other disorders. Incompatibility of feeling in
unhappy unions is wisely settled by separation. In more serious cases a
divorce is appealed for to the bishop of the diocese, who submits it to
the council of the _demogerontia_, which, according to the merits of the
case, gives a decision, or refers it to the Patriarch at Constantinople.
Thus the scandal of an open court of law is avoided, and the offspring,
innocent of all participation in the crime (should there be any) are not
made to suffer from its unjust stigma.
MARRIAGE AMONG THE BULGARIANS.
Fourteen years spent among Bulgarians afforded me the opportunity of
witnessing many marriage ceremonies, which were very peculiar and
interesting. Especially curious are those of Upper Macedonia, as
presenting remarkable traces of Dionysian worship.
The matrimonial negotiations are carried on by the _stroinichitsita_ and
_stroinitcote_, persons commissioned by the parents to find a suitable
_parti_ for their marriageable daughters; the proposal, among the
peasants, being addressed by the man to the parents of the girl, who
accept it on the promise of a sum of money, ranging from £50 to £300,
according to his means. The sum is offered as purchase-money for the
labor of the hardy maiden, whose substantial assistance in field and
other work to the _paterfamilias_ ceases on the marriage day, when her
services pass to her husband.
Wednesday or Thursday evenings are considered most propitious for the
betrothal, which takes place in the presence of witnesses, and consists
in the exchange of marriage contracts, certifying on one side the
promised sum of money, and on the other stating the quantity and quality
of the _trousseau_ the bride will bring. The interchange of contracts is
followed by that of rings between the affianced, offered to them by the
priest who asks each person if the proposal of the other is accepted. A
short blessing follows, and this simple betrothal is concluded by the
bride kissing the hands of her affianced husband and of the rest of the
company.
These engagements, never known to be broken, are often prolonged for
years by selfish parents, who are unwilling to part with the services
of a daughter who is valued as an efficient laborer. This unjust delay
gives rise to clandestine associations, tolerated, but not acknowledged,
by the parents, and finally ending in matrimony. Runaway marriages are
also of frequent occurrence in cases when there is difficulty about the
payment of the portion. The young couple elope on an appointed day, and
ride to the nearest church, where they are at once united. On returning
home the bride usually hides herself in the house of some relative, until
friends intervening obtain her father’s forgiveness.
The principles of good faith and honor are sacredly kept among these
simple people, who are never known to break their pledged word under any
circumstances.
How curious would an English girl think the preliminary customs that
a virgin in this fine, but now neglected, country must observe before
entering upon the state of holy matrimony. And yet, rude and primitive
as these customs are, they well deserve our attention as having once
belonged, in part at least, to a wonderful civilization, now lost, but
never to be forgotten.
Preparing the house for the coming festivity, washing with ceremony
the bride’s head, exhibiting the _trousseau_ for the inspection of the
matrons, who do not spare their criticism on its merits or demerits,
while the young and thoughtless are busy putting a last stitch here and
there amid gay songs and cheerful talk; the ornamentation of cakes sent
round to friends and relatives in lieu of invitation cards,—all these are
old customs which ring in unison with the peaceful and industrious habits
of a people whose life in happier times reminded one of the Arcadias of
the poets.
Nor is the marriage ceremony itself void of interest. I was present at
one of these while staying at a large Bulgarian settlement in Upper
Macedonia. The village, buried in a picturesque glen, looked bright
and cheery. Its pretty white church and neat school-house stood in the
midst; around were the farm-houses and cottages, roofed with stone slabs,
standing in large farmyards, where the golden hay and corn-stacks, the
green trees, and small flower-beds disputed the ground with a roving
company of children, pigs, and fowls.
The wedding took place in the house of a rich Chorbadji, who was giving
his daughter in marriage to a young Bulgarian from a village on the
opposite side of the glen. The festivities began on a Monday and lasted
through the week, each day bringing its duties and pleasures, its
songs, music, and dancing,—indispensable parts of a Bulgarian peasant’s
existence.
On the eve of the wedding-day the virgin meal took place, each maiden
arriving with her offering of sweets in her hands. It was a pretty sight
to look at all those bright young faces, for the time free from care and
lighted up with smiles of content and joy. It takes so little to amuse
innocent peasant girls, for whom a day of rest is a boon in itself, well
appreciated and generally turned to good account.
On Sunday, in the early forenoon, the company once more assembled. The
children, washed and dressed, played about the yard, filling the air with
their joyous voices. The matrons led their daughters in their bright
costumes, covered with silver ornaments, their heads and waists garlanded
with flowers. The young men also, decked out in their best, and equally
decorated with flowers, stood to see them pass by, and to exchange
significant smiles and looks.
On entering the house, I was politely offered a seat in the room where
the bride, in her wedding dress, a tight mantelet closely studded with
silver coins, and hung about with strings of coins intertwined with
flowers, sat awaiting the arrival of the bridegroom’s company, who were
to lead her to her new home. The sound of distant music soon announced
their approach, and was the signal for the touching scene of _adieux_.
All the bride’s smiles died away, and tears stood in every eye. Kissing
hands all round, and being kissed in return, she was led by her father
to the gate, and mounted upon a horse that awaited her; the rest of
the company followed her, all mounted also. The scene changed, and as
we rode along the mountain paths I felt myself transported into the
mythological age in the midst of a company of Thyiades, garlanded with
flowers and vine-leaves, proceeding to the celebration of their festival.
The procession, headed by a standard-bearer carrying a banner surmounted
by an apple, and followed by a band of music, wended its way along the
mountain paths. The wild strains of the minstrels were echoed by the
shouts and songs of the company, excitedly careering among the flowery
intricacies of the mountain passes, like a wild chorus of Bacchantes. On
entering the village, the procession was completed by the addition of the
_Nunco_ (best man) with the _Stardever_, who, like the Kanephoroi in the
Dionysia, carried baskets of fruit, cakes, the bridal crowns, and the
flasks of wine, and led the sacrificial goat with its gilded horns, all
gifts of the _Nunco_.
On arriving at the gate of the bridegroom’s house, the standard-bearer
marched in and planted his banner in the middle of the court. The bride,
following, stayed her horse before it, and, after a verse had been sung
by the company,[27] she bowed three times, and was assisted to dismount
by her father-in-law. On parting with her horse she kissed his head three
times, and then, holding one end of a handkerchief extended to her by her
father-in-law, was led into a kind of huge cellar, dimly lighted by the
few rays that found their way through narrow slits high up in the walls.
In the midst stood a wine-barrel crowned with the bridal cake, on which
was placed a glass of wine. The scene here deepened in interest; the
priests, in their gorgeous sacerdotal robes and high black hats, holding
crosses in their hands, stood over this Bacchanalian altar awaiting the
bride and bridegroom, who, garlanded with vine-leaves and also holding
tapers, advanced solemnly, when the sacred Christian marriage rite, thus
imbued with the mysteries of the Dionysian festivals, was performed.
After having tasted the wine contained in the glass, and while walking
hand-in-hand three times round the barrel, a shower of fruits, cakes,
and sugar-plums was thrown over the couple. The ceremony ended by the
customary kissing, as observed among the Greeks. The company then sat
down to a hearty meal. The feasting on such occasions lasts till morning;
dancing, drinking, and singing continue till dawn, without, however, any
excess.
The next day, the banner crowned with the apple, still keeping its place,
proclaims to the guests who come to lead the bride to the village well
to throw in her _obol_, that she has virtuously acquired the rights of a
wife. Should the reverse be the case, the bride receives severe corporal
punishment, and mounted on a donkey, with her face turned towards its
tail, which she holds in her hands, is led back to her father’s house—a
barbarous custom which must be set aside after the disorders lately
committed in this country.
The custom of marrying in the most retired part of the house, instead
of the church, among the peasants, is, according to my information, the
result of the dread they had in times of oppression of giving unnecessary
publicity to their gatherings, and thus inviting the cupidity of some
savage band of their oppressors, who scrupled not when they had a chance
to fall upon and rob and injure them. This state of things was brought
back during late events.
Some months ago, a marriage was taking place in the village of B⸺, in
Macedonia. The bridal procession had just returned from church, when a
band of ferocious Turks fell upon the house where the festivities were
being held, robbing and beating right and left, until they arrived at
the unfortunate bride, whom, after divesting of all her belongings, they
dishonored and left to bewail her misfortunes in never-ending misery.
The distracted husband, barely escaping with his life, rushed into the
street, loudly calling upon his Christian brethren to shoot him down, and
thus relieve him of the life whose burden he could not bear.
The _trousseau_ of a Bulgarian peasant girl consists of the following
articles: A long shirt, embroidered with fine tapestry work in worsted
or colored silks round the collar, sleeves, and skirt; a sleeveless
coat (_sutna_), tightly fitting the figure, made of home-spun woollen
tissue, also richly embroidered; a sash (_poyous_), made of plaited wool,
half an inch wide and about eighty yards long, with which they gird
themselves; an overcoat, also embroidered; an apron, completely covered
with embroidery; embroidered woollen socks, garters, and red shoes. The
head-dress varies according to the district. In Bulgaria proper a sort of
high coif is worn, not unlike the pointed cap of English ladies in the
Middle Ages. In Macedonia, to the hair, cut short upon the forehead and
plaited behind in a number of braids, is added a long fringe of black
wool, braided, fastened round the head and falling below the knees; the
crown of the head being covered with a richly embroidered white cloth,
fastened on with innumerable silver ornaments and strings of coins.
The whole wardrobe, made of strong, durable materials, is home-spun
and home-made, and being elaborately embroidered forms an _ensemble_
extremely picturesque, very durable, and well adapted to the mode of
life of the wearers. One of these dresses often requires three months’
constant work to accomplish its embroidery; but I may as well add that it
will take a lifetime to wear it out.
In addition to these articles of dress, whose number varies according to
the condition of the person for whom they are intended, carpets, rugs,
towels, and a few sheets are added, together with a number of silver
ornaments, such as belts, necklaces, earrings, and bracelets, some of
which are extremely pretty.
The Bulgarian _trousseaux_, needing so much time and work, are in course
of preparation while the children for whom they are intended are still in
their infancy, and as each article is woven, it is packed away in a long,
bolster-shaped bag, in unison with their careful custom of exposing their
belongings to observation as little as possible.
I shall not dwell long upon the marriage of the wealthy in large towns
like Philippopolis. The religious service used is that of the orthodox
Greek Church, since there is no doctrinal difference between the creeds
of the Greeks and the Bulgarians.
The festivities, both among rich and poor, are continued for a week; the
former still adhering to some of the old usages for form’s sake. In the
town of Philippopolis the native customs have been in part set aside and
replaced by the European. At the last marriage I witnessed there the
bride was a shy little beauty, well versed in her own language, with a
pretty good knowledge of modern Greek and a smattering of French. Her
_trousseau_, like those of many of her rank, had been received from
Vienna, as well as the bridal dress, veil, and wreaths, presents from
the bridegroom. Some years ago dowries were not demanded, but a good
amount of fine jewelry, much appreciated by Bulgarian ladies, formed an
indispensable appendage to the _trousseau_.
Besides the European apparel given to brides, a large amount of native
home-made articles of dress and house linen are added. Some of these
are of exquisite taste and workmanship, such as _crêpe_ chemises, made
of mixed raw and floss silk; embroidered towels and sheets, worked with
an art and taste that can well vie with the finest French and English
embroideries; besides tissues in home-woven silk and cotton for bedding,
and other articles of native manufacture that would be well appreciated
if they could find their way into the wardrobes of fashionable Europeans.
The Bulgarian _élite_ follow the custom of being asked in marriage on the
lady’s side.
A number of Bulgarians are now educated in foreign countries, and attain
distinction and great success in the professions they exercise. When a
sufficient competence for life has been acquired, they return to their
homes in order to marry on their native soil, to which they are devotedly
attached.
Great is the commotion that the return of one of these absentees
occasions. Each member of the tribe of _Stroinicotes_, busily working in
the interest he or she represents, tries to outdo the others, until the
coveted prize is obtained. In the mean time the newcomer is feasted in
every direction, the mothers doing their utmost to be amiable and the
daughters to look their best; while the fathers are calculating whether
the new custom of giving dowries to their daughters is likely to be one
of the conditions of the hopeful match. Great is the glee of a parent on
hearing the welcome words of _Né kem pari; sa kumchupa_ (I ask no money;
I want the maiden), upon which the match is soon concluded by the usual
routine of betrothal, exchange of contracts, and presents. The lover is
free to visit his _fiancée_, and instill into her mind the ideas and
feelings that must elevate her to his own standard; a praiseworthy duty,
often crowned with success when the husband undertakes it in earnest.
Some of my most esteemed friends in Bulgaria were the wives of highly
educated men. The knowledge they possessed was limited; but they were
gentle, virtuous, ladylike, and admirable housewives, devoting all their
efforts to the education and improvement of their children, in whom they
try to develop those talents and qualities that in their own youth had
been left untrained. The Bulgarians after marriage are attached to their
home, husband and wife uniting their efforts to make it comfortable and
happy.
ARMENIAN WEDDINGS.
The Armenian _fiançailles_, although contracted in a very simple fashion,
are not easily annulled, and can only be set aside for very serious
reasons.
A priest, commissioned by the friends of the aspirant, makes the
proposals of marriage to the young lady’s parents. Should the offer be
accepted, he is again sent, accompanied by another priest, to present to
the _fiancée_ a small gold cross bought by her betrothed for the benefit
of the Church, and of a price proportioned to the means of the family.[28]
Girls are given in marriage at a very early age, some when they are but
twelve years old; but men seldom marry before they are twenty-two.
The wedding ceremony, as I remember seeing it in my childhood, and as
it still takes place in Armenia, where customs _à la Franca_ have not
yet penetrated among the primitive, semi-civilized people, is a truly
curious proceeding. Like the Turkish wedding, it takes place on a Monday.
A priest is sent by the bride’s parents to inform those of the bridegroom
that all is ready and the _Duhun_ may begin. On the Friday, invitations
are issued and the bride is taken to the bath with great ceremony. On the
Saturday, musicians are called in, and all the young maidens assemble
to partake of a feast intended especially for them, and extended to the
poor, who come in flocks to share in the good things.
Next day this festivity is repeated; the dinner is served at three,
and the young men are allowed to wait upon the girls—a rare privilege,
equally pleasing to either sex, at other times excluded from each other’s
society—and it is needless to say that they now make the most of their
opportunities.
As soon as this repast is over, the married people sit down to the
wedding dinner in a patriarchal fashion, husband and wife side by side,
while the young men are the last to partake of the bridal repast. In
the evening, they are again admitted to the company of the ladies, on
the plea of handing refreshments to them. About ten o’clock the bride
is taken into another room by her friends, who place upon her head a
curious silver plate, over which a long piece of scarlet silk is thrown,
falling to her feet, secured at the sides by ribbons, enveloping her in
a complete bag, drawn tight at the top of her head, under the silver
plate; two extraordinary-looking wings called _sorgooch_, made of stiff
card-board, covered with feathers, are fastened on each side of the head.
When this disguise is complete, the bride, blindfolded by her veil, is
led forth from the apartment, and conducted by her father or nearest male
relative to open a round dance, during the performance of which money is
showered over her. She is then led to a corner, where she sits awaiting
the arrival of the bridegroom in the solitude of her crimson cage.
The bridegroom’s toilette begins early in the afternoon: he is seated in
the middle of the room surrounded by a joyous company of friends; the
_gingahar_, or best man, and a host of boys arrive, accompanied by the
band of music sent in search of them.
The barber, an all-important functionary, must not be overlooked: razor
in hand, girded with his silk scarf, his towel over one shoulder, and
a species of leather strap over the other, he commences operations,
prolonged during an indefinite period, much enlivened by his gossip and
_bon mots_, and turned to his advantage by the presents he receives
from the assembled company, who, one by one, suspend their gifts on a
cord, stretched by him for the purpose across the room. These gifts
consist chiefly of towels, pieces of cloth, scarves, etc. When the gossip
considers the generosity of the company exhausted, he gives the signal
for the production of the wedding garments, which, brought in state
together with the bridegroom’s presents to his bride, must receive the
benediction of the priest before they can be used.
After the evening meal has been partaken of, the gifts, accompanied by
the musicians, are conveyed to the bride, the company following with the
bridegroom, who walks between two torches, and is met at the door by
another band of music.
On entering the presence of his future mother-in-law and her nearest
relatives, he receives a gift from her and respectfully kisses her hand.
Allowed a few moments’ rest, he is seated on a chair between two flaring
torches, after which he is led into the presence of his veiled bride,
to whom he extends his hand, which she takes, extricating her own with
difficulty from under her _duvak_, and is assisted to descend from her
sofa corner, and stands facing her betrothed with her forehead reclining
against his. A short prayer, called the “half service,” is read over the
couple; their hands, locked together, must not be loosed till they arrive
at the street door, when two bridesmaids supporting the bride on each
side lead her at a slow pace to the church.
The procession is headed by the bridegroom and his men, followed by the
bride and the ladies; no person is allowed to cross the road between the
two parties. On entering the sacred edifice, the couple, making the
sign of the cross three times, offer a prayer, believing that whatever
they ask at this moment will be granted them; they then approach the
altar steps and stand side by side. An Armenian superstition considers
some days more propitious than others for the celebration of weddings,
consequently a number of bridal couples generally collect on the same
day, and at the same hour. I was present on one occasion when the church
at Broussa, although a vast building, scarcely sufficed to accommodate
the friends of the sixty couples waiting to get married. The brides, all
similarly dressed, were pushed forward by the dense crowd of relatives,
friends, and spectators towards the altar, where the sixty bridegrooms
awaited them, standing in a line. Two brides, alike in stature, changed
places, in the hurry and confusion of the moment. One was a pretty
peasant girl, whose only dower was her beauty, destined to become the
wife of a blacksmith; the other was the ugly daughter of a wealthy
Armenian, about to be united to a man of her own station. The mistake was
noticed, but the nuptial knot being already tied, it was too late to be
rectified, no divorce for such a cause being allowed among Armenians.
The bridegroom who could only complain in a pecuniary point of view made
the best of it,—doubtless consoled by the adage that beauty unadorned
is adorned the most; while the blacksmith, greatly benefited by this
unexpected good turn from Dame Fortune, had probably pleasant dreams of
abandoning the hammer and anvil and passing the rest of his days in ease,
affluence, and plenty, and was ready to admit that riches, like fine
garments, may hide a multitude of defects.
But let us return to the marriage ceremony. The first part of the
service is read by the priest, standing on the altar steps; the couples,
placed in a row before him, with the best men and boys behind him. He
asks each couple separately, first the bridegroom, and then the bride,
the following question:—“_Chiorus topalus cabullus?_”[29] To which the
parties answer in the affirmative. Should either person object to the
union, the objection is accepted, and the marriage cannot be proceeded
with; but incidents of this kind are rare: only one ever came under my
notice.
After the formalities of the acceptance have been gone through, the
couple stand facing each other, with their heads touching, and a small
gold cross is tied with a red silken string on the forehead of each,
and the symbol of the Holy Ghost pressed against them. The ceremony
terminates by the partaking of wine; after which, the married pair walk
hand-in-hand to the door of the church; but from the church to her home
the bride is once more supported by the bridesmaids. The moment they are
about to cross the threshold, a sheep is sacrificed, over whose blood
they step into the house.
When husband and wife are seated side by side, the guests come one by
one, kiss the crosses on their foreheads, and drop coins into a tray, for
the benefit of the officiating priest.
The bride is now once more led to her solitary corner; the veil, which
she has been wearing all the time of the ceremony, is momentarily lifted
from her face, and she is refreshed with a cup of coffee, into which she
drops money as she gives it back; a male child is then placed on her
knees for a short time. This formality is followed by a regular scramble
for her stockings by a flock of children, who make a great rush towards
her feet, pull off her boots and stockings, which they shake, in order to
find the money previously placed in them.
The bride and bridegroom soon after open a round dance, and during its
performance money is again thrown over their heads.
The bride is again led back to her corner, where she remains a mute and
veiled image; sleeping at night with that awful plate on her head, and
guarded by her maiden friends, who do not desert her until Wednesday
evening, when the bridegroom is finally allowed to dine _tête-à-tête_
with the bride. The only guests admitted that day to the family dinner
are the priest and his wife; the latter passes the night in the house,
and is commissioned the next morning to carry the tidings to the bride’s
mother that her daughter has happily entered upon the duties of married
life.
At noon a luncheon is given to the relatives and friends, who collect to
offer their congratulations.
On Saturday, the ceremony of kissing the hands of her mother and
father-in-law is again gone through; the bridal veil on this occasion
is replaced by one of crimson _crêpe_, which she wears until her
father-in-law gives her a present and allows her to remove it. Brides are
not allowed to utter a word in the presence of a near relative of their
husband until permitted to do so by his father. This permission, however,
is sometimes not easily obtained, and years may elapse before it is
given. Many a young wife has gone to her grave without having spoken to
her father- and mother-in-law.
Though the Armenians are sensual and despotic, they generally make
good husbands; but the standard of morality is getting lax among the
emancipated followers of the customs _à la Franca_, who, being entirely
ignorant of the rules of true breeding, often abuse the freedom of
European manners.