BELGIAN CHILDREN: THE "PREMIÈRE COMMUNION"
The Belgians may be divided, roughly speaking, into five classes of
people. There are those of the highest rank, who are called the
_grande_, or _vraie, noblesse_. Of these there are not many, but they
belong to old families, some of which have been famous in the history
of their country. They have often fine country-houses, and the towns
in which you will find them most often are Brussels and Ghent. Then
come those of a much lower class, the _petite noblesse_, of whom there
are very many. They seldom mix in society with the _grande noblesse_,
and their friends are generally members of the _haute_, or _bonne,
bourgeoisie_. The _bonne bourgeoisie_ are like our middle class, and
there is no difference between them and the _petite noblesse_ as to
the way in which they live. Below these are the _petite bourgeoisie_,
who are mostly shopkeepers, clerks, and people in various employments.
Last of all are the artisans and working-class people.
It is about the children of the _bonne bourgeoisie_ that I am going to
speak, for they are a very numerous class, and their customs are in
many respects the same as those of most Belgians.
When a child is born, the parents should send to all their friends a
box of _dragees_--that is, sugared almonds or sugar-plums. If the
child is a boy, the box is tied with pink ribbons; and if it is a
girl, with blue. Cards announcing the birth of a child are often sent
nowadays, but the real old Belgian fashion is to send the _dragees_,
and it is a great pity that people are giving it up so much.
The next thing is to find a name for the child, and that is done by
the godmother, who either chooses some family name or calls the child
after its patron saint--that is to say, the saint on whose day it was
born--for in Belgium, as in all Catholic countries, each day is
dedicated to some saint. The commonest name, however, for girls is
Marie, a name given in honour of the Virgin Mary, to whom many baby
girls are devoted from their birth. The mothers of these little girls
vow never to dress them in anything but blue and white till they are
seven years old. When the baby is baptized, the godfather gives a pair
of gloves to the mother and the godmother. Curiously enough, most
Belgian parents would rather have a baby girl than a boy, because a
boy costs more to educate, and also because boys, when they grow up,
have to draw lots for service in the army, and almost every father who
can afford it buys his son off, and that costs money.
There is no nursery life such as we have in England--at least, in very
few Belgian families. Here again money is grudged. People who will
pay high wages for a good cook hire young girls of fourteen or fifteen
to look after their children, and these _bonnes_, as they are called,
are paid very little, and are often careless and stupid. The result is
that the children are constantly with their parents, and, to keep them
quiet, are dreadfully spoilt and petted. It very often happens that,
when a Belgian lady has a friend calling on her, young children, who
ought to be in a nursery, are playing in the drawing-room. Their
mother has no control over them, and if she ventures to tell them to
keep quiet, or to run away, they don't obey her, and then she gives
in, and lets them have their own way.
Another thing which follows from this want of nursery training is that
if, as sometimes happens, there are disputes between the parents, the
children are mixed up in them. You will hear a Belgian mother say to
her young daughter: "Imagine what your father has done!" Or if the
husband is angry with his wife, he will turn to his boy, and exclaim:
"That is just like a woman!" Of course, this is very bad for the
children, who hear a great deal which they would know nothing about if
they were not always with their parents.
From being so much with older people these children get strange ideas.
I know a lady who said to a small Belgian girl, who was an only child:
"Would you like a little brother or sister to play with?" "Oh! no,
no," replied the child, "because when my father and mother die, I
shall have all their money." Whereupon the mother exclaimed: "There!
the dear child; how well she knows the world already!"
The children of the _petite bourgeoisie_ are the most unruly. One sees
them often at the various holiday places, at the seaside or in the
Ardennes, where they dine, however young, along with their parents at
the _tables d'hôte_, or public dining-tables, of the hotels. They eat
untidily, spill their soup, throw bread at each other, upset their
tumblers of beer or wine (for they are allowed to have whatever their
parents are drinking), talk at the top of their voices, and really
make such a row that the older people can't hear each other speaking.
The moment they have had as much food as they want, they jump up, push
their chairs noisily aside, and begin to chase each other round the
room. Their parents never think of stopping them, and care nothing
about the annoyance such unmannerly behaviour causes. It is curious
how few Belgians, old or young, rich or poor, consider the feelings or
convenience of others. They are intensely selfish, and this is
doubtless caused by the way in which they are brought up.
As you know, parents in England are forced by law to send their
children to school, or have them taught privately. There is no such
law in Belgium, and parents, if they like, may leave their children
without any education. The number, however, of those who do not go to
school is gradually decreasing, and most children get lessons of some
sort or another.
No religious instruction is given in Belgian schools, except in
convent schools, or in those where the teachers are entirely under the
Church. But almost all children have to learn the Catechism at home.
They need not understand it, but they must be able to repeat the
words. This is to prepare them for their _Première Communion_, or
first Communion, to which they go when they are eleven or twelve years
old. It takes place two Sundays before Easter Day.
The custom is for all members of the family to wear new clothes on the
day of a _Première Communion_, but the child's dress is the important
thing. In Belgian towns, for some time before, the windows of the
shops in which articles of dress are sold are full of gloves,
stockings, ties, and other things marked "_Première Communion_." A
boy's dress is not much trouble. He wears black trousers, a black
jacket, and white gloves and tie. But great thought is given to seeing
that a girl looks well in her white dress, and other nice new things.
She thinks and talks of nothing but her clothes for ever so long
before, and especially of her "corsets," which she then puts on for
the first time. Her mother takes her to the shop to try them on, and
is at much pains to make her waist as slender as possible. "Can't you
pull them a little tighter?" she will say to the shopwoman. The girl
has tight new shoes to make her feet look as small as possible; the
_coiffeur_ dresses her hair; and she is very proud of her appearance
when, squeezed into proper shape and decked out in her new clothes,
she sets off to church.
[Illustration: THE HÔTEL DE VILLE, BRUSSELS.]
The children are confirmed on the Monday, the day after their first
Communion, and are then taken to visit the friends of the family to be
shown off, and to receive presents. The windows of the confectioners'
shops are full of little white sugar images of boys and girls saying
their prayers, and even the poorest people manage to have a feast of
some sort on this occasion. They often beg money for the purpose. It
is, of course, difficult for parents who are poor to buy new clothes.
But any little gifts of money which a child may receive are taken and
hoarded up to be spent on its first Communion.
All Belgian children, even those whose parents are not Catholics, go,
with scarcely an exception, to first Communion, and are confirmed, for
there may be relatives with money to leave, and they must not be
displeased.
The _Première Communion_ is the chief event in the life of a Belgian
child.