SCENE: _JUDY’S college study, an afternoon in May, one year later. A
plan and full description of the scene will be found at the end of
the play._
AT RISE: _JULIA and SALLIE are discovered hastily putting the room in
order. JULIA down L., with a child’s broom, is sweeping and working
up stage to couch. Sweeps dust under rug. SALLIE, at R., is dusting
picture R. of window, then crosses down to chair L. of table C. and
holds up Tam-o’-shanter cap and tennis racquet._
SALLIE. (_R. up, comes down_) What on earth shall I do with these?
JULIA. (_L. down. Crossing to R. of table_) Dump them under the couch.
(_SALLIE goes up and throws things under the couch. JULIA picks up a
coat and a sweater from the floor C._) Isn’t it just our luck to have
the whole family come bursting in without a word of warning? (_Crosses
R. and throws things into room R.2._)
SALLIE. (_Coming L. of table to chair—Crosses L._) Your mother and Miss
Pritchard did look shocked when they saw this room. (_Crosses L.,
throwing basket-ball and mask into room U.L. under couch._)
JULIA. (_Crossing to chair R. of table, picking up racquet and coat_)
They ought to let us know before they surprise us. I invited them for
the reception this evening. I didn’t ask them to spend the day.
(_Crosses R., throws things into JUDY’S room and closes door._)
SALLIE. (_To desk L. for golf bag at desk back R._) If they had waited
to come with the men on the five o’clock train⸺ (_Sets golf bag above
desk in corner._)
JULIA. (_R. of C._) We should have been ready.
SALLIE. (_Crossing C. behind table_) Shut your desk, Julia⸺ (_Which is
R. below door_) It’s a sight.
JULIA. (_Pointing to desk up stage R.C. and then crossing down R. to
close desk_) No worse than yours. (_Crosses R._)
SALLIE. (_Crosses up, closes desk and then crosses over L. by
couch—getting duster from couch and throwing it in room U.L., closing
door_) And look at Judy’s, in perfect order!
JULIA. Are there chairs enough?
SALLIE. (_Coming down, counting chairs and crossing over R.C._) Mrs.
Pendleton, Miss Pritchard, Judy, Julia, Sallie, brother Jimmie—(_Turning
to L. of chair up stage by door_)—and Mr. Jervis Pendleton.
JULIA. (_Crossing up to R. of chair_) That chair won’t do for Uncle
Jervis.
SALLIE. Why not?
JULIA. It wobbles on its back leg. (_Rocking chair._)
SALLIE. (_Coming down R.C._) Oh, I forgot. (_Cross R. Indicates chair
down R._)
JULIA. (_Crossing to table C._) I nearly dropped when mother said Uncle
Jervis was coming.
SALLIE. (_Picks up book from floor R.C. and crosses to desk at R._) Why
shouldn’t he?
JULIA. Oh, I bore him to death. This is the first time in years he has
taken the slightest notice of me. (_Crosses up and puts fencing foils
behind couch._)
SALLIE. Men love to visit a girls’ college. It’s like going to the
menagerie and watching the animals eat.
JULIA. (_Crossing C. back of table and looking despondently at the
table_) What’ll we ever do with this mess?
SALLIE. (_Crossing to R. of table, seizing two corners of the cover_)
You take the other end and we’ll carry it into your room. (_Moves toward
the door R., but JULIA, holding the other end of cloth, holds back._)
JULIA. No! We’ll put it in yours. (_She starts towards door U.L. and
SALLIE holds her back._)
SALLIE. It’s full up. You couldn’t squeeze a postage stamp into my room.
JULIA. We’ll take it into Judy’s and dump it on the bed.
SALLIE. Poor Judy! (_Laughing, they go to room down L. and exit. Series
of slight crashes heard. SALLIE returns and crosses to table up stage
and picks up a teacup from tray. JULIA returns with the cover for table
and crosses below table arranging cover, and goes behind table. SALLIE
blows into the cup._) My, these teacups are awfully dusty!
JULIA. (_Behind table C._) Oh! It won’t show when the tea is in.
SALLIE. Where’s the kettle? (_Both girls look around the room._)
JULIA. (_Cross R._) The kettle? The kettle? Oh, under the couch.
(_SALLIE goes to couch, kneels down and gets kettle. A knock is heard on
the door_) Good gracious, who’s that?
SALLIE. (_Crossing to table C. with kettle_) Set that chair over the
inkspot.
(_JULIA sets chair R. of table, over the inkspot and SALLIE goes up with
kettle to table above as MRS. PENDLETON and MISS PRITCHARD enter._)
JULIA. Ah, Mother!
MRS. PENDLETON. (_Coming down_) Well, girls, still at work? (_Crosses to
L. of table C._) How quickly you have put your room in order! (_MISS
PRITCHARD closes door._)
JULIA. (_Behind C. table_) Oh, there’s nothing like a college education
for teaching one to be a good housekeeper. (_Goes up to window seat,
putting odds and ends on seat into the top drawer; MISS PRITCHARD coming
down to R. of C. table._)
SALLIE. (_Coming down L. of C. table_) Did you like the basket-ball
game, Mrs. Pendleton?
MRS. P. (_Sitting L. of table_) It was very unladylike.
JULIA. (_Facing front_) Where’s Judy?
MISS P. (_Sitting R. of table_) She had to go to a rehearsal. (_Sits._)
SALLIE. She has too many engagements. (_Up to couch, arranging pillow._)
MRS. P. Julia, what sort of people does Judy Abbott come from?
JULIA. (_Coming R. of MRS. PENDLETON_) I haven’t the slightest idea,
Mother.
MRS. P. Doesn’t she ever mention her family?
JULIA. She told me that she was descended from the first man ever hanged
in the United States. (_After laugh—a knock sounds on the door at back.
JULIA crosses to open it._)
MRS. P. What an extraordinary thing to boast of!
JULIA. (_Opens door and takes card from the maid_) Mr. James McBride.
(_Crosses R.C. SALLIE crosses to C._) Here’s your brother, Sallie.
SALLIE. (_Above C. table_) Ask him to come up.
MRS. P. Have you permission?
SALLIE. Just going to get it. The room’s upholstered in chaperones.
(_Crosses to desk and arranging it._)
MRS. P. (_Turning to maid_) There will be another gentleman. Have the
maid send him up when he comes.
MAID. Yes, ma’am. (_Closes door._)
MRS. P. (_To MISS PRITCHARD_) Jervis is taking such an interest in
Julia’s college career.
JULIA. (_R.C. Turning to them_) Yes, I wonder what struck him all of a
sudden.
MRS. P. He proposed coming of his own accord.
MISS P. That’s very nice!
JULIA. (_Turning front_) What are we going to give them to eat?
SALLIE. (_Crosses to L. of JULIA_) Oh, I wonder!
MRS. P. (_Shocked_) Haven’t you prepared?
JULIA. We’ve been too busy.
SALLIE. (_Crosses to C. above table_) Judy promised to make some fudge.
JULIA. She forgot it. (_Crosses L. of JUDY’S desk._)
MRS. P. But you don’t want candy for tea?
JULIA. Oh, yes, you do. It takes away your appetite so you don’t mind
what you get for dinner. (_Knock on door. SALLIE crosses to R. and opens
door. JIMMIE MCBRIDE enters._)
SALLIE. Oh, hello, Jimmie. (_MRS. PENDLETON and MISS PRITCHARD both
rise._)
JIMMIE. (_Kissing SALLIE_) Hello, sis. (_SALLIE and JIMMIE come down
stage._)
SALLIE. Miss Pritchard, do you know my brother?
(_MISS PRITCHARD rises—SALLIE takes JIMMIE’S hat and crosses to couch
with it. JIMMIE exchanges greetings with MISS PRITCHARD._)
MISS P. Delighted to meet you!
MRS. P. (_Crossing to C. of table_) How do you do, Jimmie?
JIMMIE. (_Crossing to MRS. PENDLETON_) Mrs. Pendleton! (_Shaking hands
with her._)
JULIA. (_At L._) Good afternoon, Jimmie!
(_JIMMIE crosses to JULIA as MRS. PENDLETON crosses to MISS PRITCHARD R.
of table by chair._)
JIMMIE. (_Crosses to R. of JULIA_) Miss Julia Pendleton. (_Bowing
elaborately_) Yours to command! Well, I never was invited up here
before. Why am I thus honored?
SALLIE. (_Coming down R. of JIMMIE_) We’re giving a tea.
MRS. P. I wonder what’s become of my brother-in-law. He should have been
on your train.
JIMMIE. An opulent gentleman who takes a taxi?
JULIA. Yes.
JIMMIE. My trolley passed him on the hill.
(_A knock sounds on door. JULIA crosses to open door._)
SALLIE. Ah—voila.
(_JULIA opens door and JERVIS enters._)
JULIA. Ah! Uncle Jervis. (_Kisses him and closes door, then takes box of
candy he has brought and with an air of mock obsequiousness turns to
announce him in the manner of a butler_) The Honorable Mr. Jervis
Pendleton, and five pounds of candy!
(_Positions are JERVIS at R., JULIA L. of JERVIS, MISS PRITCHARD R. of
table C., MRS. PENDLETON L. of MISS PRITCHARD, SALLIE L. of table, and
JIMMIE L. by JUDY’S desk._)
JERVIS. (_Coming down to greet MISS PRITCHARD, and then MRS. PENDLETON
as MISS PRITCHARD crosses to R., and sits at desk. SALLIE gets a pair of
scissors from shelf underneath table and helps JULIA open box of candy.
JERVIS turns to JULIA as MRS. PENDLETON crosses to R., taking chair L.
of MISS PRITCHARD_) Ah, ladies, I trust I’m not late!
JULIA. Early. We haven’t permission to have you yet. This is Sallie
McBride, my roommate. (_JERVIS crosses to R. of table, shakes hands with
SALLIE, who then joins JULIA above table._) And her brother, Jimmie!
JIMMIE. Oh! I say⸺
JULIA. Oh, pardon—Mr. James McBride of Yale.
JERVIS. (_C. of table. JIMMIE crosses to shake hands with him_) How do
you do?
JIMMIE. How are you?
(_SALLIE drops down L. of JIMMIE and JULIA L. of SALLIE._)
JERVIS. Is this your first visit, Mr. McBride?
JIMMIE. No—fourth.
JERVIS. Fourth? Well, well—very devoted brother.
SALLIE. Yes, isn’t he? (_Giving short burlesque laugh_) Ha!—Oh, by the
way, Jimmie⸺ (_JERVIS starts to cross R. and up—back turned._) You won’t
be able to see Judy Abbott this time. (_JERVIS stops to listen._)
JIMMIE. Why not?
SALLIE. Why, because she⸺
JULIA. Has the mumps!
JIMMIE. Oh, I say! Why didn’t you telegraph me not to come?
SALLIE. I thought you came to see me.
JIMMIE. Well, in a way, I did.
SALLIE. And in a way you didn’t.
JULIA. Calm yourself. She hasn’t the mumps.
SALLIE. She’ll be here in a few minutes. (_Crosses in front to R. MRS.
PENDLETON and MISS PRITCHARD._)
JIMMIE. (_Crosses L. and sits at desk_) Ah, I breathe again.
JERVIS. (_R.C. Watches JIMMIE, then turns to JULIA, politely
interested_) And—who is Miss Judy Abbott?
JULIA. Our other roommate. We three have this study together.
JERVIS. I see. A very pleasant arrangement.
JULIA. Sit down, Uncle Jervis. Don’t mind us. We’re getting the tea.
(_JERVIS turns to the wobbly chair and is about to sit when SALLIE
screams and hastily crosses, preventing him also from occupying chair.
As she screams, JERVIS starts back and JIMMIE jumps up._)
SALLIE. Oh! This chair isn’t comfortable. (_Takes JERVIS’S hat and
gloves, goes down behind C. table_) Take _that_ chair. (_Indicating
chair over inkspot. JERVIS comes down, and is about to move chair over
to MRS. PENDLETON. SALLIE puts hat and gloves on couch._)
JULIA. (_Hastily interposing, screams and again JERVIS starts
back—JIMMIE up L.C._) No, no. You mustn’t move it, Uncle Jervis.
JERVIS. (_Puzzled_) Why not?
JULIA. Well, take that chair. (_Indicates chair L. of table._)
JERVIS. Thanks! I’ll stand! (_Turns to L. of MRS. PENDLETON. SALLIE has
gone to tea table and JULIA turns up and joins SALLIE. She stands on
couch. JIMMIE crosses over R. at back between MRS. PENDLETON and MISS
PRITCHARD._)
SALLIE. (_Holding up bottle_) We’re all out of alcohol.
JULIA. Maybe there’s enough in the lamp.
SALLIE. (_Opening matchbox_) Oh, we’re all out of matches.
JERVIS. (_Turns, takes match-safe from pocket and crosses up to table_)
Allow me.
SALLIE. (_L. of table_) Thank you. Will you please light that?
(_Indicates the spirit lamp._)
JULIA. (_Peering into sugar bowl_) Only one lump of sugar!
MRS. P. I don’t take sugar.
JULIA. Do you take sugar, Uncle Jervis?
JERVIS. Four lumps! (_With back to audience, pretending to light lamp._)
JULIA. We’ll borrow some. (_Up to couch_) Where’s the tea?
SALLIE. In the bookcase. (_JULIA begins to look at one end of bookcase_)
No, no. Back of Kipling! (_JULIA goes to C. shelf as SALLIE holds up
cream pitcher. JERVIS saunters down R.C._) We haven’t any cream.
JULIA. We’ll give them lemons.
SALLIE. Lemons, lemons! Oh, here’s one. (_L. of C. table, and taking a
tobacco skull from table; takes out one decrepit lemon._)
JERVIS. Is that a lemon?
(_JULIA comes down L. with tea-caddy._)
SALLIE. Yes.
JERVIS. It looks it. (_Sits R. of table. SALLIE returns lemon and skull
to table._)
JULIA. (_Peering into the caddy_) We’re all out of tea.
MRS. P. Oh, my dear!
MISS P. I’m not in the least hungry.
JIMMIE. (_Crossing to L. of MRS. PENDLETON_) I am.
JULIA. (_Down L. SALLIE L. of table_) You all came too early. This party
hasn’t commenced yet.
SALLIE. (_To JULIA_) Julia, you hunt around and find something to eat
while I get permission from the Dean. (_Crosses over R.C. and up,
opening the door._)
MRS. P. (_Rising_) I should like to meet the Dean. (_Joins SALLIE up
stage._)
JULIA. (_Up to table with tea-caddy_) Good idea, Mother. She can see
with her own eyes that you are a perfectly capable chaperon. (_MRS.
PENDLETON and SALLIE exit. JERVIS drops behind table C. JULIA crosses
over R._) Come along, Jimmie. (_JIMMIE crosses up to her as JERVIS goes
down L. of C. table._) It’s not proper to leave you here.
JERVIS. Proper to leave me?
JULIA. (_Turning to him_) Mercy, yes! When a man’s as old as _you_ are⸺
JERVIS. Yes, I know. He ought to be chloroformed.
JULIA. (_Laughs_) And don’t let the kettle boil over. (_Exits with
JIMMIE, closing door._)
JERVIS. (_Crossing to R. of table C., and a little eagerly_) Have you
seen her?
MISS P. Yes.
JERVIS. Well?
MISS P. (_Crossing to JERVIS_) Oh, she’s wonderful! I don’t believe
you’d recognize her.
JERVIS. I was trying to remember the other day what she looked like. All
I can recall is a mass of light hair and a pug nose.
MISS P. You’ll be surprised.
JERVIS. (_Cross L._) No. Nothing will surprise me any more.
MISS P. What do you mean?
JERVIS. I’ve had nineteen letters from Judy this winter.
MISS P. You answer them?
JERVIS. _No!_ Of course I don’t answer them. I told you I wouldn’t.
MISS P. But you _read_ them?
JERVIS. Yes, certainly. Why not?
MISS P. I was afraid—maybe you’d turn them over to your secretary.
JERVIS. (_Down in front of table, hands in pockets_) Oh, no! Little
Judy’s letters are not the sort I could allow my secretary to read.
MISS P. (_Anxiously_) What are they like?
JERVIS. (_Teasing her_) Disgraceful!
MISS P. (_Horrified. Rises_) What?
JERVIS. Shocking!
MISS P. Jervis!
JERVIS. Scandalous!
MISS P. Oh, no!
JERVIS. She makes love to me.
MISS P. The child thinks you are her father.
JERVIS. The child knows perfectly well that I am not her father.
MISS P. She thinks you are an old man.
JERVIS. (_Rises. Indignantly_) I’m not an old man. I won’t be treated
like an old man.
MISS P. Please don’t be angry⸺
JERVIS. She draws pictures of me. (_Sits L. of table._)
MISS P. Oh! I’m sorry⸺
JERVIS. She draws me bald-headed—without any hair—and legs that are
long.
MISS P. (_Firmly_) It’s not right.
JERVIS. She calls me “Daddy Long-Legs.”
MISS P. I shall give her a good scolding. I can’t have her treating you
with disrespect.
JERVIS. I think I rather like being treated with disrespect.
MISS P. (_Reproachfully_) You were joking?
JERVIS. I think Daddy Long-Legs is a very nice name.
MISS P. Then you don’t regret taking charge of her?
JERVIS. Regret it? My dear lady! Her letters alone have been worth the
price of admission.
MISS P. You must see the child.
JERVIS. See her? Well, rather. You didn’t suppose I came up here to look
at my niece. (_Cross to C.L. to table._)
MISS P. (_Sits R. of C._) Jervis⸺ (_He stops C. of table and turns to
her_) It was foolish putting Judy in with those two girls.
JERVIS. Why?
MISS P. You know how particular your sister-in-law is about the people
Julia meets and if she ever discovers the truth⸺
JERVIS. (_Hands up in mock horror and walks back of table_) There’ll be
the deuce to pay!
MISS P. (_To R. of table_) I don’t know why you insisted⸺
JERVIS. (_Comes down_) What else _could_ I do? I had to keep track of
the girl somehow. Now, under cover of visiting my niece, I can very
conveniently keep an eye on my ward.
MISS P. But why all this secrecy? It would be simpler if you would just
come out openly and say you were the child’s guardian.
JERVIS. Come out openly? My dear lady—you don’t know what a parcel of
interfering women I’ve got in my family. They talked enough about the
boys I am educating. Do you think they would swallow a girl?
MISS P. It might be awkward.
JERVIS. When five women, with nothing to do, devote their energies to
arranging one’s life—a simple man might as well throw up his arms and
sink. (_Sits L. of table R._)
MISS P. I don’t blame you for being a woman-hater. (_JERVIS laughs_)
But—make an exception in little Judy’s case.
JERVIS. (_Rising and coming to L. of MISS P._) Oh, Judy and I are going
to be great friends.
MISS P. I hope so.
JERVIS. Why, of course we are. I feel a proprietary interest in the
girl. She belongs to me.
MISS P. Yes, yes, but the future, Jervis.
JERVIS. The future?
MISS P. It’s all very well now, but—what are we going to do with her
when the vacations come? We can’t send her back to the Home!
JERVIS. That’s all settled. I’m going to send her to a farm in
Connecticut. Lock Willow’s the name.
MISS P. Lock Willow?
JERVIS. Mrs. Semple’s place, you know, my old nurse Lizzie Semple.
MISS P. Oh, yes.
JERVIS. She wanted to spend the summer with the McBrides’, camping
somewhere. I knew what was best for her.
(_MISS PRITCHARD is about to speak when they hear someone at the door.
MISS PRITCHARD says “Hush” and turns to R. as JERVIS crosses to L. and
up. MRS. PENDLETON entering._)
MISS P. (_Crossing R., sits at desk_) Hush!—What a pretty room the girls
have!
(_MRS. PENDLETON brings down a plate of buns to table._)
JERVIS. Yes, isn’t it charming. What have you there? (_Crosses over to
L. to MRS. PENDLETON._)
MRS. P. Oh, something Sallie stole from a sophomore’s room. (_Crosses to
L. of table as JULIA enters—JERVIS going up to tea table L. of C._) This
is a very messy way in which to live.
JULIA. (_With a package of crackers, places it on table C._) Kettle
boiled? (_Goes up to tea table._)
MISS P. (_Looking into kettle, gives kettle to JULIA_) There’s no water
in it. (_JULIA starts to exit with kettle._)
MRS. P. (_Sitting L. of table_) Oh, daughter, dear. (_JULIA comes down
behind table. JERVIS crosses to L. of MISS PRITCHARD._) I’ve been
speaking to the Dean about having you and Sallie room alone next year.
(_JERVIS has crossed and joined MISS PRITCHARD. They exchange looks._)
JULIA. Why?
MRS. P. There’s something queer about Judy Abbott.
JULIA. That’s what makes her popular. You never know what she’s going to
say next.
MRS. P. I prefer to _know_ what people are going to say next.
JULIA. Now, Mother, don’t you interfere. Here, open these
crackers—(_Passes box to her_)—and—behave. (_Exits with kettle R.C._)
JERVIS. (_L. of MISS PRITCHARD, quietly_) Julia is coming on.
MRS. P. I never did approve of college for girls.
MISS P. Her roommates are _both_ charming.
MRS. P. The McBrides are very good people. The father owns a factory.
MISS P. (_Turning to JERVIS_) Makes overalls!
JERVIS. (_Shuddering, crossing to armchair_) Overalls! My dear Florence!
MRS. P. They are very wealthy.
JERVIS. (_Bowing to her_) Oh, well, in that case⸺
MRS. P. But I don’t know where Judy Abbott comes from.
MISS P. I told you that I knew her guardian. Mr. Smith is a charming
man, what more do you want? (_Rising, crossing to JERVIS, turning
helplessly to him_) You know him, Jervis, Mr. _Smith_⸺
JERVIS. Smith?
MISS P. Mr. John Smith.
JERVIS. Oh, John Smith⸺ (_Crossing to R. of table_) Yes—yes, John Smith.
Splendid chap. Belongs to my club. Thoroughly respectable.
MRS. P. Yes, but Julia isn’t rooming with him. (_JERVIS turns from her
to MISS PRITCHARD. Hopelessly MISS PRITCHARD sits in chair R._) Who’s
the girl? (_Rising_) Who was her father?
JERVIS. If this little Judy Abbott was fitted by nature to appreciate
the best, it belongs to her, no matter who her father was. (_Crosses
over to R._)
MRS. P. (_Crosses over L. to desk_) Oh, dear, it’s awful the way the
different social classes are getting all mixed up.
JERVIS. Awful! Isn’t it? (_Crossing to MISS PRITCHARD._)
MRS. P. At least we old families can stick together. (_Sits._)
(_Enter SALLIE with tea, followed by JULIA with water and JIMMIE with
sugar. JIMMIE closes door after him. Their manner is mock jubilant._)
SALLIE. (_Crossing to L. of tea table_) Tea!
JULIA. (_Crossing to R. of SALLIE._) Water!
JIMMIE. (Crossing to R. of JULIA) Sugar!
(_SALLIE and JULIA put the water and tea into teapot. JIMMIE stands with
back to audience, taking his handkerchief, spreads it across his vest
front in imitation of a waiter._)
JULIA. (_Facing front_) At last this function is ready to begin.
JIMMIE. (_Facing front_) The tango tea will now begin. (_MISS PRITCHARD
rises and JERVIS puts her chair at wall above desk. JIMMIE does a tango
step down to JERVIS and MISS PRITCHARD while SALLIE and JULIA sing a
tango tune. To MISS PRITCHARD_) Sugar or lemon?
JERVIS _and_ MISS PRITCHARD. (_JERVIS crosses to L. of MISS PRITCHARD_)
Lemon! (_JIMMIE tangoes to L. of table._)
JIMMIE. (_To MRS. PENDLETON_) Sugar or lemon?
MRS. P. Lemon.
JIMMIE. (_Tangoing to R. and up above table_) Three lemons. I beg your
pardon.
(_SALLIE comes down with cup of tea to JIMMIE, JERVIS and MISS PRITCHARD
have eased over to JIMMIE, leaving stage free and clear up R. for
JUDY’S entrance. JIMMIE takes teacup from SALLIE and turns, almost
upsetting the tea by bumping into JERVIS. JERVIS takes teacup from
JIMMIE, passes it to MISS PRITCHARD. SALLIE has gone back to the table
and JULIA has taken a cup of tea down to MRS. PENDLETON and returns to
SALLIE at the tea table._)
SALLIE. Jimmie, pass those buns!
JIMMIE. (_Taking plate of buns of table C._) The stolen buns? (_Turns to
JERVIS and MISS PRITCHARD_) Have a stolen bun? (_Without waiting,
crosses over L. to MRS. PENDLETON. JERVIS and MISS PRITCHARD, laughing
at him, ease up stage R. of C._) Have a stolen bun? Do have a stolen
bun. (_A vigorous knocking is heard. MRS. PENDLETON rises_) The police!
Caught with the goods! (_Does a funny little dodge to L. of MRS.
PENDLETON._)
(_The positions as JUDY enters are: MISS PRITCHARD R. and up. JERVIS L.
of MISS PRITCHARD, so that JUDY doesn’t notice them at first. At the
knock JULIA comes down to behind table and SALLIE down to L. of table
C. MRS. PENDLETON is over L. of SALLIE and JIMMIE L. of MRS.
PRITCHARD. Enter JUDY. As she opens the door and stands in hall-way,
she waves her hand and says “Good-bye” to classmates who laughingly
respond. JUDY swings into the room, slamming the door behind her and
leans against the door._)
[Illustration: Judy leans against the closed door of the room as the
others look at her from across the stage.]
JUDY. (_With a laugh_) Oh, I beg your pardon! (_Comes down a bit_) I
forgot we were giving a ball.
SALLIE. (_Pointing accusing finger at her_) Judy Abbott, where’s that
candy?
JUDY. (_Crossing to R. of C._) Oh!
JULIA. That you promised to make!
JUDY. Oh, I’m awfully sorry. (_Crosses to the table and her eye lights
on box of candy. She raises it amusedly and says solemnly_) The Lord
will provide! (_JERVIS turns away, smiling_) I learned that in my youth,
and it’s true. (_MRS. PENDLETON turns up and JUDY catches sight of
JIMMIE. JERVIS turns to JULIA, motions for introduction_) Jimmie
McBride! Are you here again?
(_JIMMIE crosses L. of table as JULIA drops down R. of JUDY._)
JULIA. Oh, Judy, my uncle, Mr. Pendleton, my roommate Miss Abbott!
(_JULIA crosses L., taking teacup from MRS. PENDLETON up to table.
JERVIS comes forward and bows with some ceremony, holding out his hand
to JUDY._)
JERVIS. This is a pleasure.
JUDY. (_Without paying much attention, shakes hands_) How do you do?
(_Without allowing him to finish she turns quickly to JIMMIE and shakes
hands with him very cordially. JULIA takes MISS PRITCHARD’S cup to tea
table as MISS PRITCHARD goes down R. and sits at desk. JERVIS drops down
and over to R. of armchair._) Jimmie, how do you manage to get away from
Yale so often?
(_MRS. PENDLETON works up and across at back and over R., takes chair
above desk, placing it L. of MISS PRITCHARD, sits. JERVIS, nonplussed
at JUDY’S turning to the younger man, works over R. of armchair. JULIA
and SALLIE drop down behind JIMMIE._)
JIMMIE. (_His hand on his heart_) There’s a magnet draws me.
SALLIE. (_Forces JIMMIE down into chair_) Jimmie, sit down and behave
yourself.
(_JIMMIE rises and turns indignantly to SALLIE, who comes L. of JIMMIE.
JULIA above chair. JUDY turns to L. of armchair._)
JERVIS. (_Is about to move armchair from over ink spots to near table
for JUDY_) Will you⸺
JUDY. (_Hastily pops into chair_) Oh, no, thank you. This is just where
I like it.
JERVIS. (_R. of JUDY_) Is there anything the matter with that chair?
JUDY. (_Innocently looking it over_) I don’t see anything the matter
with it.
JERVIS. Is it nailed to the floor?
JUDY. (_Looks at him and across at GIRLS_) No, it isn’t—but that’s a
very good idea. (_SALLIE and JULIA laugh with her_) Where’d all that
candy come from? Did you bring it, Jimmie?
SALLIE. (_With satirical laugh at JIMMIE. Crosses up and around R. back
of table_) Jimmie! Huh!
JUDY. You shouldn’t be so reckless with your allowance.
JIMMIE. Well, I⸺
JULIA. (_To above table at C._) A token of affection from Uncle Jervis.
(_Crosses L. of SALLIE._)
JUDY. (_Looking at JERVIS_) Oh, really. Uncles must be rather nice. I
never saw an uncle before. (_They all look at her._)
MRS. P. What?
JUDY. But I’ve often read about them.
(_JERVIS turns up stage, back turned to scene, enjoying JUDY’S
replies._)
MRS. PENDLETON. And haven’t you any uncles of your own?
JUDY. Never _had_ anything of the sort.
MRS. P. (_Turning to MISS PRITCHARD_) What in the world does she mean?
JUDY. I never had any uncles nor aunts nor fathers nor mothers nor
brothers nor sisters nor grandmothers—nothing!
MRS. P. Mercy, child! What happened to them?
JUDY. They were all swallowed up by an earthquake before I was born.
(_Everybody laughs—MRS. PENDLETON crosses to MISS PRITCHARD and sits,
and JERVIS comes R. of JUDY._)
JERVIS. You occupy a unique position, Miss Judy. Allow me to
congratulate you. (_Holding out his hand._)
JUDY. (_Regarding him with surprise_) Do you want me to shake hands with
you again? I just did it. (_Giving him her hand and rising_) Oh, I’m
willing to, but I thought you mustn’t shake hands with the same man more
than once in an afternoon. (_Releases hand_) I read that in a book of
etiquette.
JERVIS. What’s a book of etiquette between friends?
JUDY. I thought it took a long time to be friends with a man.
JERVIS. (_Playfully_) One minute is sometimes enough, with a man.
JUDY. (_Stepping back_) Do you want to know something—_funny_? (_SALLIE
goes up to couch._)
JERVIS. I should love to know something—_funny_.
JUDY. You’re the first man I ever spoke to.
JIMMY. (_Crossing to L. of table, SALLIE above table R. of JUDY_) Oh,
Judy Abbott!
JUDY. I mean the first real man. (_JERVIS sits on rocking chair. JIMMIE
crosses over to JULIA at L. JUDY to C. of table. JERVIS over to MRS.
PENDLETON and MISS PRITCHARD, and above them_) Oh, you’re not a man.
SALLIE. (_Coming down to L. of JUDY_) How did the rehearsals go?
JUDY. (_C. in front of table_) Awful. Bessie Carter is the leading man
and I’m the leading woman. And in the middle of the most touching
scene—what do you think happened?
ALL. What?
JUDY. Her mustache dropped right into my lap.
(_General movement. JIMMIE and JULIA start up stage, JIMMIE to table for
candy, JULIA to sofa, SALLIE over to L., JUDY up R. of table. JIMMY
offers candy—JUDY declines. SALLIE shoves chair L. of table in. JIMMIE
and SALLY up to couch—sit with JULIA, JIMMIE C., SALLIE R., JULIA L.,
JUDY to C. of table as MRS. PENDLETON crosses to armchair and sits.
JERVIS to L. of MISS PRITCHARD. They all laugh. JIMMIE takes box of
candy, SALLIE joins JULIA and JIMMIE at L. They go up and sit on
couch. JUDY follows SALLIE over L. and goes up behind table C._)
MRS. P. (_Crossing to chair R. of table at C. and sitting_) Oh, Miss
Judy—to come back to that earthquake.
(_JERVIS shows by manner to MISS PRITCHARD his apprehension of MRS.
PENDLETON’S attitude to JUDY._)
MISS P. Florence! (_JERVIS anxious for JUDY._)
MRS. P. You don’t remember either of your parents?
JUDY. (_Behind table_) I lost them both, before I was born.
(_JERVIS relieved, smiles at MISS PRITCHARD._)
MRS. P. But who took care of you?
JUDY. Different people. I have a _guardian_—who looks after me now.
Daddy Long-Legs.
MRS. P. Who?
JUDY. (_Quietly_) Daddy Long-Legs.
JERVIS. (_Leaning over chair L._) That isn’t his real name.
JUDY. Just the pet name I call him by.
MRS. P. And what is the profession of this Mr.—Mr.—er⸺
JUDY. Mr. Long-Legs. He is an educator.
(_JERVIS sits L. of MISS PRITCHARD._)
JIMMIE. An educator? Sounds like a biscuit!
(_A laugh from JUDY and the GIRLS._)
MRS. P. By the way, Miss Judy, do you come from the New England Abbotts
or the Virginia Abbotts?
JUDY. I believe—well, to tell the truth, I hardly know. My father never
took any interest in his family.
MRS. P. And don’t you take an interest?
JUDY. Very little. I have never even joined the Daughters of the
Revolution. (_Crosses to MISS PRITCHARD, who rises. JERVIS is R. of MISS
PRITCHARD._) When will you see my guardian again?
(_MRS. PENDLETON rises and goes up to couch. JIMMIE and the GIRLS rise.
SALLIE helps MISS PRITCHARD with her coat._)
MISS P. Very soon.
JUDY. Tell him I love him dearly. Then give him a kiss for me.
MISS P. Judy, Judy, what dreadful things you say. (_Turns up stage._)
JERVIS. I don’t wonder it embarrasses you. (_Crossing to JUDY. JIMMIE
comes down, putting candy on table._) I think such messages should be
delivered in person.
(_MISS PRITCHARD joins MRS. PENDLETON up C._)
JIMMIE. (_Coming R.C. L. of JUDY_) Oh, Judy, is it true you Freshmen
aren’t allowed to dance to-night?
JUDY. (_A step to JIMMIE_) No. The gymnasium is not big enough.
JIMMIE. I can’t dance with you at all?
JUDY. (_Soothingly_) But you may have a nice long promenade up and down
the bowling alley and all around the swimming tank.
JIMMIE. (_Grumbling_) I don’t want to walk all evening. I want to dance.
JUDY. Oh!
(_MRS. PENDLETON leaves up stage group and drops down to L._)
JERVIS. Then in that case you might bestow that promenade upon me.
JUDY. (_To JERVIS_) Oh, thank you. (_Turns and looks JIMMIE up
and down_) I’d hate not to have any partners—(_Turning to
JERVIS_)—especially at my first dance.
(_JIMMIE turns up and over R._)
MRS. P. (_Down L._) Your first dance?
JUDY. (_A step to C._) This will be my first dance—(_Indicates
JERVIS_)—my first man—and my first evening gown.
(_MISS PRITCHARD down to MRS. PENDLETON._)
MRS. P. Mercy, child, how were you brought up?
JUDY. Very simply. We didn’t dress for dinner.
(_JERVIS feels the hurt in her voice and turns away R._)
MISS P. If we are going to see the campus⸺ (_MISS PRITCHARD and MRS.
PENDLETON go up stage to JULIA and SALLIE._)
JIMMIE. (_Comes down R. of JUDY_) You promised to show me your running
track.
(_MRS. PENDLETON crosses to door U.R._)
JUDY. Oh, no, indeed. You don’t like to walk with me. Run along and join
the others. I’m going to put the room in order. (_Moves C._)
(_MRS. PENDLETON opens door and exits._)
JULIA. (_Crossing to door_) Come along, Jimmie. (_JIMMIE crosses to
her._) She’ll catch us.
(_JIMMIE exits with JULIA and SALLIE crosses to door._)
JERVIS. (_At R._) This doesn’t seem fair.
JUDY. It’s my turn. Besides, I’d rather. Sallie and Julia would just
poke the dishes under the couch.
SALLIE. Judy thinks we’re shiftless.
JUDY. You didn’t have my training.
(_SALLIE exits, MISS PRITCHARD crosses to door as JERVIS goes up and
waits for MISS PRITCHARD to pass._)
SALLIE. (_Going out_) Will you come along, Miss Pritchard?
MISS P. I’ll follow with Judy. (_JERVIS exits, leaving door open. MISS
PRITCHARD comes down to JUDY. They embrace_) Judy—I wanted a chance to
see you alone, dear.
JUDY. Isn’t it wonderful that this is Judy Abbott?
MISS P. Yes, yes! But you must remember—it is better not to mention the
asylum. (_Sits R. of table._)
JUDY. I haven’t told a soul.
MISS P. But you say such very surprising things.
JUDY. But how can I help it? You don’t know what it feels like to be
shut up in the dark for eighteen years and then suddenly be dumped right
out into the world.
MISS P. I know⸺
JUDY. The cat’s out of the bag a dozen times a day, but I grab it by its
tail and pull it back.
MISS P. (_Laughs_) Yes, you must. People like—like Mrs. Pendleton would
never understand.
JUDY. Do you know, she wanted to know my mother’s maiden name.
MISS P. Oh!
JUDY. I never saw such an inquisitive old thing. I’m going to put her in
a book.
MISS P. That’s the way to take it.
JUDY. (_Lightly_) She doesn’t bother me.
MISS P. You like the girls here?
JUDY. (_Nods_) Yes—they like me, too. But it’s only because I don’t wear
blue gingham. (_Crossing to R. of MISS PRITCHARD and turning_) You can
accomplish anything you want to in this world—if you only have the right
clothes.
MISS P. My dear!
JUDY. I’m wearing silk stockings. (_Sticks out foot and exhibits them_)
Isn’t that a joke? Tell Mrs. Lippett when you see her.
MISS P. (_Embracing her_) Judy Abbott!
JUDY. (_Sits on arm of chair_) Jerusha Abbott—wearing silk—I wonder
where she got that name. Jerusha Abbott.
MISS P. What do you mean?
JUDY. I suppose she took “Jerusha” off a tombstone. But I don’t know
where she picked the “Abbott.” Unless, maybe, out of the first page of
the telephone book.
MISS P. (_Distressed_) Why, my dear child, what an idea!
JUDY. (_Crosses in front of table_) I’d—I’d sort of like to know.
MISS P. (_Rises anxiously—following her, turns her round_) You are
happy, dear?
JUDY. (_Rising, facing MISS PRITCHARD and throwing off her momentary
soberness_) Happy! I’m so happy every moment that excited little thrills
chase up and down my back. I can’t wait to see everything and try
everything. I want to live faster and faster to make up for the time
I’ve lost.
MISS P. (_Rising and crossing to her_) Child! Child! You must face life
soberly. It holds many disappointments for us all.
JUDY. No! No! I’ve left all my troubles at the John Grier Home! Wait! I
want to show you something.
(_Exits L. JERVIS appears at open door of room, comes down R., leaving
door open._)
JERVIS. I was sent to order you out to look at the library.
MISS P. (_Crossing to JERVIS at R._) I’m just waiting for Judy.
JERVIS. You might leave me to do that and I’ll have a chat with her as
we come along.
MISS P. Isn’t she sweet?
JERVIS. (_About to express his delight, changes his reply to a
non-committal_) Yes—er—er—she does very well.
MISS P. Now, do you take back what you said? Is it a bad investment to
educate a girl?
JERVIS. Doesn’t it strike you that she’s pretty familiar with that young
McBride?
MISS P. No!
JERVIS. It’s just what I told you. We’ll no sooner get her educated than
some young whipper-snapper will come along and want to marry her.
MISS P. He isn’t a whipper-snapper. He’s a nice boy.
JERVIS. He’ll be wanting to marry her.
MISS P. Well—when she’s through college⸺
JERVIS. (_Crossly_) I don’t care to have my ward throwing herself away
on an overall factory.
MISS P. (_With a laugh_) Nonsense!
(_JUDY is heard off stage saying “Just a moment, MISS PRITCHARD.” JERVIS
cautions MISS PRITCHARD quietly and escorts her up to door L. She
exits and he closes door and comes down R., as JUDY comes from the
room L., holding up in front of her a white evening frock, so that it
completely shuts off a view of the room._)
JUDY. (_By door_) Look at my new gown that I’m going to wear to-night.
Daddy gave it to me. Did you ever see anything so lovely?
JERVIS. (_R. of C._) Well—I’m not much⸺
JUDY. (_Lowering gown and looking over top in consternation_) Oh, good
gracious sakes alive! How did you get here?
JERVIS. Through the door.
JUDY. Where’s Miss Pritchard?
JERVIS. Library. I told her we’d come along.
JUDY. (_Laughing_) Oh, I’m sorry. Just a second. (_She dives back into
room, leaves the gown and re-appears, crosses to C._) Ready?
JERVIS. (_R. by armchair_) That library doesn’t appeal to me very much.
Let’s wait here.
JUDY. (_Dubiously_) Without a chaperone?
JERVIS. I’m an uncle.
JUDY. And then, of course—you’re old.
JERVIS. Yes, exactly. I’m old. (_Motions to armchair_) Suppose we sit
down here and have a cozy, elderly flirtation all by ourselves. (_JUDY
sits—JERVIS gets chair at R. and comes back and sits R. of JUDY._)
JUDY. (_With a laugh_) Oh, I’d love to have a flirtation with a
Pendleton! That would be a beautiful joke.
JERVIS. Why a joke?
JUDY. You wouldn’t understand—you know before I came to college I never
realized that anything so superior ever existed as a Pendleton.
JERVIS. Oh, I see. You’ve had quite a dose of Julia.
JUDY. She has mentioned her family. I feel that it’s a great honor to be
seated in your presence.
JERVIS. (_Gruffly_) You rub some sense into my niece.
JUDY. I’m trying to do my best—but Gee Whiz!
JERVIS. What?
JUDY. Oh! Isn’t it ladylike to say—Gee Whiz?
JERVIS. Never!
JUDY. Don’t you approve of slang?
JERVIS. Not from you! (_Turns away._)
JUDY. Would you like to hear me swear?
JERVIS. No!
JUDY. I could. I’ve picked up quite a large vocabulary from all the
tough little Bowery boys I’ve known.
JERVIS. Where did you ever know any tough little Bowery boys?
JUDY. I used to be connected with a—charity.
JERVIS. What sort of charity?
JUDY. Oh, for children. A lot of nice, kind, benevolent old Johnnies
used to come every month and pat them on the head and murmur, “Poor,
homeless, little waifs!” And then find fault with the way the floors
were scrubbed and have refreshments, and go home, and forget all about
them for another month. It was very sweet.
JERVIS. And what part did you play in this little comedy?
JUDY. I? Oh, I used to watch them, and smile a little behind their
backs. (_She gets up in a sudden access of fierceness_) I hate
charitable people. (_JERVIS rises. JUDY turns and faces him contritely_)
I didn’t mean that! The only man I love in all the world is charitable.
(_She notices that he has risen again, suddenly_) Do you have to stand
up every time I do?
JERVIS. (_Takes chair back of table R._) It’s a polite thing for a
gentleman to do.
JUDY. It must be an awful nuisance to be a gentleman.
JERVIS. Eh?
JUDY. I’m glad I’m not one.
JERVIS. I’m glad, too.
JUDY. You don’t like my manners, do you?
JERVIS. You have very—sudden manners.
JUDY. I learned them out of a book. Cost a dollar and fifteen cents.
JERVIS. It pays to get a good quality.
(_JUDY takes book from shelf under table, goes back to armchair. Sits._)
JUDY. Sit down. (_JERVIS sits and JUDY reads from book_) “A lady never
accepts presents from a man but flowers and candy.”
JERVIS. How about that new frock?
JUDY. From Daddy Long-Legs? Oh, that’s different. He belongs to me.
JERVIS. (_Leans forward interestedly_) Oh!
JUDY. (_Turns another page_) “When a lady breaks her engagement to marry
a man, she returns all his presents.” That’s a very useful thing to
know. (_Rises, JERVIS also rises, laughing heartily. JUDY tosses book on
table with a laugh_) Isn’t it silly? (_Crosses to C. in front of
table._)
JERVIS. (_Crosses to armchair_) You stay kind-hearted and don’t hurt
people’s feelings—and that’s all the manners you need.
JUDY. (_Turning to him_) You know, Mr. Pendleton, I like you. You are so
sort of sensible, and grown-up⸺
JERVIS. And old⸺
JUDY. I wish I had an uncle! I wish I had a _lot_ of family.
JERVIS. I am entirely at your disposal. Anything you wish—by adoption.
JUDY. Really?
JERVIS. Yes.
JUDY. I want a grandmother more than anything in the world. Will you be
my grandmother, Mr. Pendleton?
JERVIS. No, I take that offer back. (_To armchair_) We’ll just be
friends.
JUDY. (_With a sigh_) It’s sometimes awfully lonely without a family.
JERVIS. It’s sometimes awfully lonely with a family.
JUDY. (_Thoughtfully_) But at least I’ve escaped one thing. I never get
homesick. (_Turns away._)
JERVIS. (_Breaks situation_) Where are you spending your vacation this
summer?
JUDY. On a farm in Connecticut. But I wanted to go to the McBrides’ camp
in the Adirondacks.
JERVIS. Well, why don’t you go?
JUDY. Daddy Long-Legs wouldn’t let me.
JERVIS. (_A step to C._) I see. Who owns this farm? (_Hands in
pockets._)
JUDY. Mrs. Semple.
JERVIS. Mrs. Semple?
JUDY. Lock Willow’s the name.
JERVIS. Lock Willow! Well, well. Isn’t that a coincidence. Lizzie Semple
was my nurse when I was a little shaver.
JUDY. (_A step back_) Your nurse?
JERVIS. Yes.
JUDY. Gee whiz! (_Turns away._)
JERVIS. Take care.
JUDY. (_Turns to him_) She must be awfully old.
JERVIS. Well, she’s coming on. It’s some time since I sat on Lizzie’s
lap and had my face washed.
JUDY. (_Laughs_) How funny!
JERVIS. (_Crossing to C. of table_) I occasionally motor through that
country and stop for a little fishing. Maybe I’ll see you.
JUDY. That will be very nice. (_Suddenly crosses over to L. and up as
JERVIS, stunned by his abrupt dismissal, turns front_) Thanks.
JERVIS. (_Crossing over R. and then turning to her_) And what are you
doing in college? Have you learned anything?
JUDY. (_Coming to L. of chair, reproachfully_) Have I learned anything?
The area of the convex surface of the frustum of a regular pyramid is
half the product of the sum of the perimeters of its bases by the
altitude of either of its trapezoids.
JERVIS. (_Bowing_) That is very impressive.
JUDY. (_Behind table_) I’ve finished—physiology. I know all about your
insides.
JERVIS. Um—yes⸺
JUDY. (_Crossing to armchair_) I hope you never touch alcohol, Mr.
Pendleton. It does dreadful things to your liver.
JERVIS. Thank you—I will remember.
JUDY. (_Sitting in armchair_) Did you know that we used to be monkeys?
JERVIS. (_Sitting R. of JUDY_) I’ve heard rumors.
JUDY. You, just as much as me.
JERVIS. And why not?
JUDY. But, of course, the Pendletons are descended from very superior
monkeys—with beautiful silky hair and extra long tails.
JERVIS. Oh!
JUDY. Did you ever read Hamlet?
JERVIS. Yes.
JUDY. Isn’t it corking?
JERVIS. Eh?
JUDY. Every night I put myself to sleep by pretending that I’m the
heroine of whatever book I’m reading. Do you ever do that?
JERVIS. I never have.
JUDY. Just now I’m Ophelia!
JERVIS. Ophelia?
JUDY. Hamlet and I are married. The King and Queen are dead. But Hamlet
didn’t kill them. They just died of—pneumonia.
JERVIS. Um—much more modern idea.
JUDY. You know—Hamlet and I are having a perfectly lovely time. I’ve
entirely cured him of being melancholy. He attends to the governing and
I look after the charities. We’ve just founded the most remarkable
orphan asylum. All of the children are happy.
JERVIS. And you, Miss Judy? Are you happy?
JUDY. Happy? (_Rises—JERVIS, too_) I’m the happiest person in the whole
wide world.
JERVIS. Tell me the secret.
JUDY. We have ice-cream twice a week—(_Goes to R. of table_)—and we
never have corn-meal mush.
JERVIS. That’s something.
JUDY. (_R. of table, facing him, hands on table_) And I’ve lots of
friends, and I’ve passed my examinations, and I’ve won a short story
prize⸺
JERVIS. Good!
JUDY. And I’ve made the basket-ball team—(_Stands up_)—and I have eight
new dresses—all of them different colors, and not, not one blue gingham.
(_Turning away._)
JERVIS. You don’t admire blue gingham?
JUDY. No! I shudder at the thought! (_Crosses over L._) Talk about
something else quick. (_Goes up. JERVIS glances about the room._)
JERVIS. What shall we talk about? (_Turning up a little_) Did you girls
furnish this room yourselves?
JUDY. (_Coming to table C._) The expensive things are Julia’s. It’s
awful the way she wastes money.
JERVIS. (_Over to R. of armchair—sternly_) If I had a girl who belonged
to me I’d give her an allowance and I’d make her keep within it. I hope
your guardian makes you keep within your allowance.
JUDY. (_Laughs and shakes her head_) No, he doesn’t. He gives me lots of
extra things.
JERVIS. That won’t do. He’ll spoil you.
JUDY. (_Facing him_) Oh! But it’s such fun to be spoiled—(_Facing
front_)—when you never have been.
(_JERVIS leans over armchair, looking at her tenderly. JUDY reads the
expression and turns abruptly to L._)
JERVIS. And which of all these things did you choose? (_Turns up._)
JUDY. (_Behind table_) This rug—do you like it?
JERVIS. Yes—very pretty.
JUDY. And that window seat. (_Going up C._) It used to be a bureau, but
I took off the looking-glass and upholstered the top. (_JERVIS goes up a
little also_) You pull the drawers out like steps and just walk up.
(_She does it and sits on the top_) Wouldn’t you like to try it, Mr.
Pendleton? It’s very comfortable.
JERVIS. (_Coming down R. of chair and pulling it up and off of ink
spot_) I think I’ll stay on dry land.
(_JUDY, in consternation, quickly descending from bureau._)
JUDY. (_Hastily coming down_) No, no, no! (_L. of chair_) Now, you’ve
done it!
JERVIS. (_Staring at the spot_) What’s that?
JUDY. Family skeleton. We keep it under the chair. I bought the rug for
half price because it had an ink spot.
JERVIS. A what?
JUDY. Ink spot.
JERVIS. You call that a spot? (_Cross R._) I’d call it a pond.
JUDY. (_Sets chair down on spot with a slam_) If people would just leave
our furniture alone, it would never show. (_To R. of table._)
JERVIS. (_R. of chair_) I’m sorry, Miss Judy. I won’t offend again. But
tell me, what sort of a man is your guardian?
JUDY. Daddy Long-Legs?
JERVIS. Yes.
JUDY. Oh, he’s sort of tall—and skinny. He’s getting a little shaky now,
and has to walk with a cane. He’s bald up here—but he has a nice fringe
of white hair all around here.
JERVIS. Oh, yes, quite a beauty.
JUDY. He’s a sweet lamb. And I love him more than anything in the whole
world.
JERVIS. That must make him very happy.
JUDY. (_Facing him_) He doesn’t know it. I wouldn’t tell him to his
face. It would spoil him. (_Turns away._)
JERVIS. Maybe it would do him good. It would give him a fresh interest
in life to think that a nice girl like you cared for him.
JUDY. (_Suddenly—turning to him. Sits on table_) When I get through
college, I’m going to live with him.
JERVIS. (_Startled_) Are you really? Does he want you?
JUDY. Not now. But he will when he knows me better.
JERVIS. Maybe you’ll change your mind when you know him better.
JUDY. Oh, no, I sha’n’t. I have it all planned. I am going to read out
loud to him, and plump up his pillow, and warm his slippers, and wrap up
his throat in camphorated oil, and _always_ make him wear his rubbers
when he goes out.
JERVIS. (_Dubiously_) That’s very touching.
JUDY. I am going to be awfully firm with him.
JERVIS. Oh, you are, are you? (_JUDY nods head_) Does he ever come to
see you? (_JUDY shakes her head_) No? Why not?
JUDY. He doesn’t care anything about me, really.
JERVIS. Nonsense, of course he does.
JUDY. I just pretend. You must have somebody to love, and he’s all I
have. So I make believe that he cares.
JERVIS. Maybe he does care—more than you think.
JUDY. (_Facing him, with a flash of fire_) No, he doesn’t! He’s a
horrid, cross, old thing, with a mouth that turns down like that, and a
perfectly dreadful temper.
JERVIS. So! And doesn’t he ever write to you?
JUDY. No!
JERVIS. And don’t you write to him?
JUDY. Yes, I write to him all the time—whenever I get lonely. But he
doesn’t even read my letters.
JERVIS. How do you know?
JUDY. He throws them in the waste basket.
JERVIS. Oh, no, you’re wrong. He keeps them tied together with a piece
of red tape, and locked in a drawer of his desk, and winter evenings
when he’s all alone in his dark library, he gets them out and reads them
over; and then he sits and looks in the fire and wonders what little
Judy is doing, and wishes she were there to talk to him.
(_JUDY listens with a pleased smile and faces him._)
JUDY. I like to think he does⸺ (_Turning away_) But it’s only
pretending. (_Crosses L. and up behind chair L. of table._)
_WARN CURTAIN_
JERVIS. I wonder! I wonder!
(_JUDY throws of her momentary sadness and faces him with a sudden
change of manner._)
JUDY. Do you know that I am a genius?
JERVIS. Are you really?
JUDY. Yes. That’s why my guardian is sending me to college. I’m going to
be a great author.
JERVIS. That’s very nice.
JUDY. (_With a quick laugh_) Wouldn’t it be a joke on my guardian, if I
turned out not to be a genius at all—but just a plain girl? (_Crossing
to L. of table._)
JERVIS. What an idea! Of course you’re a genius.
JUDY. (_Down L._) Do you think it would be fair to Daddy Long-Legs, if,
after being educated to be a writer, I should give it up and marry
somebody instead?
JERVIS. (_Coming to R. of table_) No! I do not!
JUDY. I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll write a wonderful novel and make
an awful lot of money and give it all to Daddy—and then I’ll be free to
marry anybody I choose.
JIMMIE. (_Entering suddenly and standing by door_) I say, Judy Abbott⸺
JUDY. (_Crossing to him. They exit, laughing and chatting_) Oh, Jimmie!
I forgot all about you. You want to see the running track—well, come
right along.
(_As JUDY crosses to JIMMIE, JERVIS turns and follows her movements.
When she is off—he faces front, puzzled and nonplussed, as the curtain
descends._)
CURTAIN
1st Call—Everybody.
2nd Call—Judy.