length the following occurrence led to the event which I had anticipated
with so much anxiety. My father had ridden to London, and taken his friend
Coward with him as a companion. On their return, having started early on a
Sunday morning, they rode, as was my father's custom, twenty miles before
breakfast, which brought them to the Windmill, at Salt Hill. They rode
into the yard, and having called for the hostler, the landlord, Mr.
Botham, came up to them and made his bow. Having learned, in the course of
his conversation with them, that they came from the neighbourhood of
Devizes, he enquired if my father knew Mr. Halcomb who kept the Bear Inn,
to which my father replied, that he not only knew but was particularly
intimate with him; a reply which led to a more familiar conversation.
As soon as they had finished breakfast, the landlord entered the room, and
invited them to walk into the garden and take some fruit; an invitation
which was accepted. From thence they had a full view of Windsor Castle,
which being admired by Coward, Mr. Botham enquired if they had ever seen
Windsor. The answer being in the negative,--"Well, Gentlemen," said he,
"If you will favour me with your company to dinner, I will take you over
in a chaise, shew you the King's farms, the Queen's dairy, &c. after which
we will walk over the Castle, and go to the Chapel Royal where you will
have an opportunity of seeing all the Royal Family, who are at Windsor, as
they scarcely ever fail in fine weather to attend divine service."
Coward's eyes sparkled with joy at the proposal, and he looked with
anxious expectation for my father's answer. The latter replied that it
would have been a great treat to him, particularly to have inspected the
King's farms; but that he was, nevertheless, reluctantly obliged to
decline this polite offer, as they were under the necessity of reaching
home the next morning, and had made arrangements for sleeping that night
at Newbury, a distance of nearly forty miles from Salt Hill, much too far
for their horses to take them after dinner. "If that be all the objection
you have," replied Botham, "we will soon settle that: I will send a steady
man on to Reading with your horses, who shall get them well cleaned and
fed, and after we have seen Windsor, and you have dined and taken one of
the best bottles of old port my house can produce, and drank the health of
my friend Halcomb, I will put the best pair of horses I have in my stables
to a post chaise, in which you shall be taken to Reading in such style as
will give you a specimen of the way in which we conduct posting at the
London end of the Bath road. By the time that you arrive at Reading your
horses will have had good time to feed, and will be fresh to take you on
to Newbury as early as you have named." Coward begged my father to accept
so very excellent a proposal, and declared that it would not only be a
great deal better for their horses, but a great accommodation to them; and
in this Coward was very sincere, for he did not altogether like my
father's long rides on horseback, as my father seldom travelled less than
sixty miles a day, when upon a journey. But my father, who was a man of
the world, looking Botham firmly in the face said, "I assure you, Sir,
that your proposition staggers me a little. Your offer is most polite and
very generous; but, as I am not in the habit of receiving such liberality
from strangers, how am I to account for the pressing manner in which you
have offered it? I cannot for one moment believe that a person in your
respectable situation can have any unworthy motive; but you must excuse me
for declining to assent to your proposition, unless you will inform me in
what way I may have an opportunity of returning the compliment, or, at any
rate, point out some probable motive that has induced you to proffer it."
"Sir," said Botham, I will do both; in the first place, I have received
many civilities, and in fact great acts of kindness, from Mr. Halcomb
which, as he has never been here, I have never had an opportunity of
returning. I have, therefore, seized this occasion of being civil to one
of his friends. In the next place, if you will fix a day, when I can meet
Mr. Halcomb and his daughters at your house, I will pay you a visit in
return with pleasure, although it is a distance of sixty miles. We
innkeepers, you know, travel not only expeditiously, but very cheaply.
"Enough," said my father. "Give me your hand, we will chearfully place
ourselves at your disposal till four or five o'clock in the afternoon."
The business was thus settled, to the great joy of poor Coward, who was
almost dumb with fear, lest my father should decline such an opportunity
of seeing Windsor and the Royal Family.
To Windsor they accordingly went, and were greatly entertained with what
they saw, which was every thing that was to be seen about the Castle, as
Mr. Botham was well acquainted with the upper servants in attendance
there; they also got a seat at the Chapel Royal, very near the Royal
Family, and having spent a pleasant day, Mr. Botham kept his word, by
conveying them in a post chaise to Reading, a distance of twenty miles, in
about an hour and a half.
When my father returned he related this circumstance to me and my sisters;
and Coward overwhelmed us with his praises of Mr. Botham. My father then
said that he would fix an early day, for Mr. Halcomb and his daughters to
come and meet him. Coward observed that he must have a very great regard
for his friend, to travel one hundred and twenty miles, merely to dine
with him. "Ah! Coward," said my father, "You know little of mankind! it
did not require any very extraordinary degree of penetration to discover
that Mr. Botham entertained a greater friendship for one of the
_daughters_ than he did for her father."--"Why, yes," replied Coward, "I
now remember that he devoured your praises of Miss Halcomb with great
avidity." "To tell you the truth," said my father, "Mr. Botham informed me
that he wished for an alliance with the eldest daughter of his friend;
and, as I think it a good match, and Salt Hill will be an excellent home
for her, I will do every thing that lies in my power to promote their
union."
For the moment, this information was death to my hopes, and seemed to
strike daggers to my heart; for I was literally over head and ears in love
with this unknown lady, merely from what I had heard my father say of her.
But as I could not learn from my father that she had in any way encouraged
the hopes of Botham, I felt, after a little reflection, no fears for the
result, and without farther consideration, resolutely made up my mind to
be his rival. This furnishes a striking example how liable young persons,
possessing minds of a sanguine nature, are to be talked into any thing.
The day was fixed for the party, and my poor father little thought that
his son, who could not by any process of reasoning be supposed to have any
thing more than the common feeling which actuates the minds of young
people when they anticipate meeting some friends of their own age, he
little thought that his son looked forward to the day with a much more
intense anxiety than either of the individuals that he expected would play
so prominent a character, and on whose account the party was solely made
up. The day at length arrived, and my father had made such preparations as
he conceived were due to the polite attention and hospitality that he had
received at the hands of Mr. Botham. My father was not one of that class
of personages who are so very common, and who pride themselves upon being
match makers; this being the only instance in which I ever knew him to
interfere in any thing of the sort; but he, nevertheless, really appeared
to enter into this scheme with all the ardour of an old proficient. I
believe, however, that he did it with the best of motives, under the full
impression that he was serving all parties, as it struck him that it would
be an union which bid fair to promote the mutual advantage and happiness
of the two families. The reader will indeed perceive that he was not an
adept in the art of match making, as, had he been so, he certainly would
not have communicated the secret to us young folks.
The dinner hour now approached, and a chaise drove up to the door;
containing the two Miss Halcombs, accompanied by their brother, on
horseback. My father having introduced them to me, Mr. Halcomb made an
apology for the absence of his father who was ill, and presented a letter,
which had been sent to him by the coach from Botham, directed for my
father. The latter having opened and read it, he looked very grave and
disconcerted, and said, addressing himself to the young lady, "I am very
sorry to inform you, Madam, that I find by this letter, which I have
received from Mr. Botham, that we shall be deprived of the pleasure of his
company, in consequence, as he informs me, of his unexpectedly having a
large party from town, who have ordered a dinner, which totally precludes
the possibility of his leaving home." This caused a slight blush upon the
cheek of Miss Halcomb, who very modestly replied, "that she was sorry my
father was deprived of the company of his friend; but," looking round to
me and my sister, she added with a smile, "we will endeavour to bear the
loss with fortitude, and spend the day as pleasantly as we can without
him." It might have been very natural for me to feel an inward pleasure at
the absence of one whom I had expected to meet as a rival; but to tell the
truth, I felt very differently, for I at once set him down as an opponent
not worth contending with, and I could not help despising him for his want
of gallantry. I had also eagerly watched the countenance of the lady, to
endeavour, if possible, to collect whether this Mr. Botham had made any
impression upon her heart or not; and from the apathy which it manifested,
I felt very little fear on his account. My father was sadly mortified at
the circumstance; both at the absence of his old friend Halcomb, and his
new acquaintance Botham. However, we spent a very pleasant day, and, as I
had already made up my mind to be, I _was_ over head and ears in love with
the lady. My attentions, in fact, were so pointed and unreserved, that I
saw that my father began to repent that he had ever had any thing to do
with match making.
I found Miss Halcomb not only to possess all the good qualities that my
father had ever described, but in my estimation she possessed ten thousand
times more charms than my fervid imagination previously formed. My
attentions were received with that politeness which was becoming an
amiable, a virtuous and an accomplished female, on the first interview
with a young man, to whom she had never given one thought before; but it
was very flattering to me to find that those attentions were not
considered obtrusive or disagreeable. I perceived that my father sat upon
thorns, and that he was very much pleased to find that the young ladies
declined the invitation of my sister to remain all night, although I added
my intreaties to those of my sister, and this too in so earnest a manner,
that my father could not refrain from saying that he should be very happy
if the young ladies would remain all night with his daughter, but really
he was fearful that my _homely way_ of pressing them to stay would be
considered as being very rude. Notwithstanding they had made up their
minds to go, yet I could see that they were not offended at the _homely
way_ (as my father called it) in which I enforced my suit. I enlarged upon
the darkness of the evening, the badness of the roads, and a thousand
other obstacles which I presented to their view; but when I found that all
was in vain; I seized an occasion to withdraw, while they were at tea, and
taking off one of the wheels of the chaise I conveyed it unobserved into
the rick yard, where I secreted it under some straw. I then returned and
took my leave, saying that I had an appointment to meet some friends at a
neighbouring fair, which was actually the case. Then, mounting my horse,
off I rode. It happened as I had anticipated. When the horses were brought
out to be put to the chaise, the boy was astonished to find that one of
the hind-wheels was gone; and as it was a physical impossibility for any
one to find it that night, the young ladies were obliged to accept my
sister's offer, in which my father now sincerely joined, since he found
that I had left home: though he did not hesitate to pronounce me to be the
culprit who had, in one of my ridiculous frolics, stolen the wheel off the
chaise. Upon my return, I was charged with the act, which I freely
confessed, assigning as an excuse, my fears for the safety of the young
females, travelling such bad roads in such a dark night.
Within a very few days after this event, I gained Miss Halcomb's consent
to ask her father's permission to pay my addresses in form; and within a
week from that time, I demanded her hand in marriage. The old gentleman,
however, very properly replied, that, although he had no objection to me
as a son-in-law, he could not give his consent to any such hasty measure,
till he had seen my father, to know if it met with his approbation. I
frankly told him that he might save himself the trouble and mortification
of applying to my father, who, as soon as I mentioned my attachment to
Miss Halcomb, and that I had offered her my hand and heart, (which at the
same time I informed him she had kindly accepted,) had thrown himself into
a violent passion, and swore, that unless I gave up my prize, and
abandoned all further intentions of marrying an innkeeper's daughter, he
would disinherit me, and cut me off with a shilling. This was quite enough
to fix my determination, and I at once told old Mr. Halcomb, that I hoped
he would act a more considerate part, for, as I had gained his daughter's
consent, and as I was of age, and his daughter very nearly so, all the
fathers in Christendom, nor all the powers on earth, should prevent me
from making her my wife. The old gentleman very clearly saw that it was of
no use to endeavour to deter me from my purpose by vain vows or threats;
he therefore took a more rational course; he endeavoured to win me over by
persuasion; and at length, by this conciliatory conduct, and by an
assurance that he would not stand personally in the way, but that he would
take every means consistent with the feelings of a man of honour to soften
down the rigour of my father, he prevailed upon me to give up all
intention of taking any hasty or premature step, which might involve us
all in very unpleasant difficulties. This was a course which was sure to
succeed with me, and I promised him that I would do nothing without his
knowledge. Now, I am convinced that if Mr. Halcomb had acted in the same
way that my father did, if he had forbidden me his house, and endeavoured
by force to prevent my access to his daughter, such was my spirit of
opposition, such an abhorrence had I of being _driven_ into or out of any
measure, such an innate hatred had I of every thing like tyrannical force,
that I am quite sure if he had so acted, I having got the lady's consent,
I am quite sure I should have run away with her in a week, in spite of all
that could have been done to prevent me. If my father, on the contrary,
had taken a similar course with Mr. Halcomb, if he had kindly advised me,
and endeavoured to prevail upon the by mild and gentle means, I do not say
that he would, or that he ought, to, have succeeded in making me give up
the lady, but I am quite clear that he would have had a much better chance
of success. Nay, if he had appeared careless, and left me to myself, I was
at that time of such a volatile disposition, that such a hasty attachment
might possibly have been weakened, or it might have worn off by time; but
the very course which he took, irrevocably fixed my fate as to marriage. I
was of age, and I had always made up my mind that I was, and ought to be,
my own master upon this subject. I am still of the same opinion; I still
hold that parents have no right to make their children miserable by any
arbitrary dictation upon a question of such vital importance as that of
whom they shall marry. Parents have an undoubted right, nay it is an
imperious duty which they owe to their children, to direct their choice
with respect to suitable connections, and they have a right to interpose
the authority of their advice and recommendation to their children. But
the law of God and of man says[14], that the parties about to be united
ought to exercise their own free choice. The law says that no person shall
marry who is under age, without the consent of his or her parents; and the
law has very justly drawn this line. The law, therefore, very properly
contemplates that no parent shall have the absolute controul over the
person of a child in this matter after that child has come of age.
I have, probably, detained the reader much longer upon this subject than
is either entertaining or edifying, but as this occurrence paved the way
for that important part of my history, my marriage, I feel it a duty which
I owe to myself, and to those who do me the honour to read these Memoirs,
and more particularly to the Radicals, to be more explicit than I
otherwise should be, if the venal press, and particularly the profligate
Editors and Proprietors of that press, in order to gratify their political
employers and partisans, had not, upon so many occasions, and with such
brutal and savage coarseness, when they could neither answer my arguments
nor contradict the truths that I promulgated, sought to cover their defeat
and their infamy by accusing me of having deserted my wife, and left her
to starve. Fearless of the consequences, I shall, therefore, as I go
along, place the circumstances fairly and honestly before the public, and
leave them to draw their own conclusions, as to the correctness, not to
say any thing of the honesty, of the base assertions which are made by the
toots of my political adversaries. At this moment, however, I will merely
state briefly this fact, that, in the year 1802, more than eighteen years
ago, I was separated from my wife by mutual consent. We had three
children; two sons and a daughter. It was agreed that the daughter should
live with the mother, and the sons with me; but that both mother and
father should have free access to each of the children, and the children
the same access to the parents; and as I made a most liberal settlement
upon my wife, (the particulars of which I shall not withhold,) there has
been no complaint uttered by either party; no living creature ever having
heard me make even the slightest insinuation against my wife, or ever cast
the most remote reflection upon her character or conduct; neither has it
ever come to the knowledge of myself or any of my friends that my wife has
spoken one disrespectful word against me. As we have both always lamented,
as a misfortune, the circumstances which led to our separation, so we both
have carefully abstained from heightening and adding to the poignancy of
that misfortune, by mutual accusations, revilings, and recriminations,
which would have been as base as they would have been proved to he
unfounded. If, on the contrary, I had deserted my wife, after having, when
I was first married, surrounded her by prostitutes and courtezans; if I
had been intriguing with every loose and abandoned female that came within
the precincts of a profligate circle; if, after having driven her from my
home, friendless and unprovided for; if, after having personally insulted
her, I had hired spies and informers to traduce her character; if I had
employed and paid the most abandoned characters, and had suborned them to
swear away her life and her honour; if, when this plot had been detected
and exposed, and her innocence had been proved by the very means that I
had employed to blast her reputation and to destroy her; if I had still,
in the most unfeeling and unnatural manner, separated her from, and cut
off all communication with, her child, under the hollow and false pretence
that she was not a proper person to be entrusted with the care of her own
daughter; if, I say, I had driven her out of the country, and, having done
this, if I had hired another gang of base villains, not only to dog and
watch her steps, but to seduce and bribe her servants to betray her; if I
had rewarded these villains, _even with my own money_, to fabricate and
propagate all sorts of calumnies against her abroad, while their infamous
agents at home were reiterating and magnifying those falsehoods; if I had
bribed the dastardly hireling press to libel and villify her; if in fact,
I had carried my persecutions and deadly hatred so far as at last _to
break the heart of her daughter_; if, upon her return, I had made another
atrocious attempt to destroy her by means of hired, bribed and suborned
foreign witnesses; if I had done these things, or any of them, I should
have been an execrable and detestable villain, and I should have merited
the scorn of every man and woman in the universe: but, even then, even if
I had been guilty of all these horrible and unnatural deeds, it would,
even under these abhorrent circumstances, have been base in the extreme in
the doubled-faced, black-hearted villains of the _Courier_, the _dull
Post_ and the _mock Times_ to attack me in the way they have repeatedly
done about my wife; because there are not three _such abandoned profligate
unprincipled_ monsters under the canopy of heaven. Even the _virtuous_ Mr.
Perry, of the Morning Chronicle, has, when an occasion offered,
endeavoured to varnish over his own character by attacking me about my
wife. But, when I remind Mr. Perry that his wife, or at least the person
he called one of his wives, was a Miss HULL, a butcher's daughter of the
above-named town of Devizes, and that I know that those "who have glass
heads, should be very careful how they throw stones;" I trust he will be
more guarded in future.
I now request my readers to accept my apology for this long digression,
and, without further comment, I will resume the thread of my narrative. I
have now introduced the reader to Miss Halcomb, who was destined to be my
wife; and I also have before said that I event to send a Sunday with her
at Heytesbury, a distance of nearly thirty miles from my father's house.
The reader will recollect, too, that I had engaged with my father's mowers
to meet them at four o'clock on the Monday, morning upwards of three miles
from home, in order to attack a field of oats, of seventeen acres and a
half, a very heavy crop, to see if we, (five in number,) could not cut
them down the same day. The time, however, passed so delightfully and so
rapidly in the society of an amiable and lovely female, to whom I was
betrothed, that the clock had unobserved by me struck twelve more than
half an hour; and, before I could muster up resolution enough to tear
myself from the clear object of all my hopes, the respectable family, with
whom my intended wife was visiting, had given me more than one hint of its
being past their usual time of retiring to rest. However, upon another
hint being given by the prudent matron of the family, I took my leave, and
having mounted my faithful steed I bent my course over the downs, twenty
miles across Salisbury Plain. As I quitted the village, or rather the
rotten borough, of Heytesbury, the church clock struck _one_; Which for
the first time recalled to my recollection the promise I had made, as well
as my resolution to perform an uncommon day's mowing, which was to
commence at twenty-three miles distance at four o'clock.