CHAPTER XXXVII

The villain in melodrama is as likely as not to be as decent a fellow as

any. When he slinks from the stage in his final hissed exit he goes to

his dressing-room, scours off his grease-paint, and probably returns to

his devoted family or seats himself before a bowl of milk-and-crackers

in his club.

Gilfoyle was as decent a fellow as ever villain was. Circumstances

and not himself cast him in an evil role, and as actors know, once so

established, it is almost impossible to return to heroic parts. Gilfoyle

could not even remove his grease-paint. He could not go back to his

dressing-room, for his landlady had told him that the only key to her

front door was cash. He had gone out to bring home a millionaire, and he

had achieved nothing but a headache and a moral cataclysm.

He hardly knew how he escaped from the apartment-house. The dark cool of

the street brought him into the night of things. It came upon him like a

black fog what he had tried to do. The bitter disgrace of a man who has

been whipped in a fight was his, but other disgraces were heaped upon

it. For the first time he saw himself as Kedzie saw him.

He had neglected his wife till she grew famous in spite of him. He

had gone back to her to share her bounty. When she repulsed him he had

entered into a conspiracy to spy on her. He had waited impatiently for a

rich man to compromise her, so that he could surprise them in guilt and

extort money from them.

He had not warned the girl of her danger from the other man or from

himself. He had not pleaded with her to be good, had not asked her to

come back to honeymoon again in poverty with him; he had preferred to

live on borrowed money and on unpaid board while he fooled with verses

and refused the manual tasks that waited everywhere about the busy city.

He might have cleaned the streets or earned a decent living handling

garbage in the city scows. But he had preferred to speculate in

blackmail and play the badger-game with his wife as an unwitting

accomplice. He had hated millionaires, and counted them all criminals

deserving spoliation, but he felt that he had sunk lower than the

millionaires.

The remembrance of Kedzie haunted him. She had been supremely beautiful

to-night, frightened into greater beauty than ever. She was afraid of

him who should have been her refuge, and she hid for protection behind

the man who should have seemed her enemy.

He recalled her as she was when he first loved her, the pretty little

candy-store clerk, the lissome, living marble in her Greek tunic,

the quaint, sweet girl who came to him in the Grand Central Terminal,

lugging her suit-case, the shy thing at the License Bureau, the

ineffably exquisite bride he had made his wife. He saw her at the

gas-stove and loved her very petulance and the pretty way she banged the

oven door and pouted at fate.

The lyrics he had written to her sang through his aching head. He was

wrung to anguish between the lover and the poet he had meant to be, and

the spurned and hated cur he had become. He stumbled along the street

at Connery's side, whispering to himself, while his earliest verses to

Kedzie ran in and out through his thoughts like a catchy tune:

Pretty maid, pretty maid, may I call you Anita?

Your last name is sweet, but your first name is sweeter.

He recalled the sonnets he had begun which were to make them both

immortal. He regretted the spitefulness that had led him to write in

another name than hers because she had refused to support him. He had

been a viler beast than the cutpurse poet of old France, without the

lilies of verse that bloom pure white above the dunghill of Villon's

life.

Gilfoyle's soul went down into a hell of regret and wriggled in the

flames of self-condemnation. He grew maudlin with repentance and clung

to his friend Connery with odious garrulity. Connery was disgusted with

him, but he was afraid to leave him because he kept sighing:

“I guess the river's the only place for me now.”

At length Connery steered him into a saloon for medicine and bought him

a stiff bracer of whisky and vermouth. But it only threw Gilfoyle into

deeper befuddlement. He was like Charles Lamb, in that a thimbleful of

alcohol affected him as much as a tumbler another. He wanted to tell his

troubles to the barkeeper, and Connery had to drag him away.

In the hope that a walk in the air might help to steady him, Connery set

out toward his own boarding-house. They started across Columbus Avenue

under the pillars of the Elevated tracks.

Habituated to the traffic customs, the New-Yorker crossing a street

looks to the left for traffic till he gets half-way across, then looks

to the right for traffic bound in the opposite direction. Connery

led Gilfoyle to the middle of the avenue, paused for a south-bound

street-car to go banging by them, darted back of it and looked to the

right for a north-bound car or motor. But a taxicab trying to pass the

south-bound car was shooting south along the north-bound tracks.

Connery saw it barely in time to jump back. He yanked Gilfoyle's arm,

but Gilfoyle had plunged forward. He might have escaped if Connery had

let him go. But the cab struck him, hurled him in air against an iron

pillar, caught him on the rebound and ran him down. Kedzie Thropp was a

widow.

We Can't Have Everything: A Novel · 第 37 / 42 章