UNREST
"Ach y fi!" said Ann one day as the autumn slipped by, "only a week
before Will goes; there's dull it will be without him!"
"Twt, twt!" said Will, tossing his tawny mane, "'twill only be for
three months. Christmas will be here directly, and I will be home then
for the holidays--vacation, I mean."
"Vacation; is that what they call it? Dear! dear! we must mind our
words now with a college man among us."
Gethin seldom came into the house; from morning to night he worked hard
on the farm, and his father was obliged to confess that, after all his
roving, he showed more aptitude for steady work than Will did. When he
did enter the house, it was only to take his meals hurriedly and
silently, and if by chance he encountered Morva, as was unavoidable
sometimes in the day's work, he was careful not to look at her. The
girl, though conscious of his change of manner, showed no outward sign
of the acute suffering she was undergoing. Her whole life seemed
upturned, full of discordant elements and strained relations. To bear
Will's apparent indifference was not difficult, for she had been
accustomed to that all her life; but to know that she was bound to
him--that he still loved her, and would carry with him his faith and
trust in her, was a heavy burden. The change in Gethin's manner, the
averted look, the avoidance of her, the formal question or request,
were positively so many sharp thorns that pierced her like some
tangible weapon, and added to this was a deep regret that she was so
unworthy of Will's love. He did not ask her to meet him again behind
the broom bushes, and only one night in the old beudy,[1] where she had
carried a pail of grain to a sick cow, had he tried to speak to her
alone. Gethin, who watched his brother with eager interest, was
astonished at the indifference he showed towards her.
Surely they must meet somewhere secretly! Well, what was it to him?
What was anything to him? For Morva's love he would willingly have
laid down his life; but now that that was denied him, nothing else was
of any consequence; and in troubled thought he sauntered out to cross
the farmyard on his way to Pont-y-fro. The moor beyond the Cribserth
he avoided carefully, and when his work led him along the brow of the
hill, he tried to avert his eyes as well as his thoughts from its
undulating knolls, a background, against which memory would picture a
winsome girl, red-cloaked and blue-kilted.
Will had preceded him about a quarter of an hour, and had found Morva
pensively holding the empty pail before the cow, who had eaten up the
grain, and was licking round in search of more; she did not see him
until he was close upon her, and then she started from her dreams.
"Oh, Will!" she said, and nothing more.
"I wanted to see thee once more, lass, to say good-bye, and to remind
thee of thy promise."
"You will be back before Christmas, Will, and we will be together
again."
"Yes," he answered, "and then we must manage to meet sometimes, for I
find I cannot live without thee. I cannot break away from thee
entirely; but we must be careful, very, very careful. I would not have
anyone suspect our courtship for all the world. Thou wilt keep my
secret, Morva?"
"Yes," she said wearily.
"Come, cheer up, lass, 'twill soon be over. A year or two and I will
have a home for thee--I know I will. And now good-bye, I hear
footsteps. Good-bye, Morva."
He clasped her once to his heart, and whispered a word of endearment in
her ear; but she stood like a statue, and only answered "Good-bye," and
even that he did not hear, for he had already slipped away, and by a
circuitous path reached the house.
Crossing the farmyard, Gethin's approaching footsteps made but little
sound on the soft stubble; and Morva, thinking herself quite alone,
stood leaning just within the doorway, crying softly in the darkness,
for the flaring candle had gone out.
"Who is there?" said Gethin.
There was no answer, Morva checking her sobs, and standing perfectly
still.
"Morva, is it thee crying here by thyself? What is it? Tell me,
child."
"Oh! nothing," said the girl. "Only Will has been here."
"Oh! I see," said Gethin bitterly, "to bid thee fforwel, I suppose.
Well, it won't be for long; he will be back soon, and then thou wilt be
happy, Morva."
"Gethin, thee must promise me one thing."
"And what is that?" he said.
"Never to tell anyone what I told thee over yonder beyond the
Cribserth. Will wants it to be a secret."
"Fear nothing," said Gethin, "I will never tell tales. Gethin Owens
has not many good qualities, but he has one, and that is, he would
never betray a trust, so be easy, Morva. I am going to Pont-y-fro.
Good-night!"
"Good-night," echoed the girl, and, taking up her pail, she closed the
beudy door, and as she crossed the yard under the bright starlight she
recalled Gethin's parting words, "Be easy, Morva," and repeated them to
herself with a sorrowful smile.
* * * * * *
"'Tis Martinmas Fair to-morrow," said Ann, as Morva entered the best
kitchen. "Are you going, father?"
"Yes," he said. "I have those yearlings to sell."
"I will come with you," said Gwilym Morris, for they seldom let the old
man go alone. "I can see about Will's coat, and I want some books.
Come on, Ann, come with us; 'twill be a lively fair, I think."
"Very well, I'll come and look after you both."
"That's right," said the old man, rubbing his knees. "Twm will drive
the yearlings. Art coming, Will?"
"No," he answered, "I have promised to go to Caer-Madoc to-morrow."
And so Garthowen was empty next day, for Gethin did not return to the
midday meal. Morva, as usual in Ann's absence, took charge of the
house, and very sad and lonely she felt as she roamed from one room to
another, dusting a chair or table occasionally, and looking out through
the windows at the dull, leaden sea, for outside, too, the clouds were
gathering, and the wind whispered threatenings of change.
Three nights ago! Was it possible? So lately as that was she bright
and happy, and was the world around her so full of light and warmth?
She leant her elbows on the deep window-sill and mused. How long ago,
too, it seemed since she had taken down the old Bible and hunted up
Gethin's delinquencies. She saw it now in her mind's eye, and, getting
upon the table, she reached it down again, and turned to the disfigured
page.
Now she knew how little harm there had been in those foolish, boyish
rhymes; now she knew the bright black eyes which had guided the pen in
those brown fingers were full of nothing but mischief. "Oh, no! no
harm," she said, "only fun and mischief." She read the lines again,
and a sad little smile came over her mouth, then she looked at the
signatures below. "Gethin Owens, Garthowen." "G. O." "Gethin." She
half-closed the old book, and then, with a furtive glance round the
room and through the window, opened it again, and, stooping down,
pressed her lips on the name, then, blushing a vivid red, she mounted
the table once more and replaced the Bible.
It was a long, weary day, but it came at last to a close. She made up
the fire, prepared the tea, with piles of buttered toast and new-laid
eggs in plenty, and soon the jingling car drove into the farmyard,
Gwilym Morris lifting Ann bodily out, and both assisting the old man
with tender care, Morva hovering round. She was to sleep at the farm
that night in order to be ready for the early churning next day, so
when they were all seated at the tea-table she left the house with the
intention of seeing if Sara required any help.
"I will be back before supper," she said, and hurried homewards over
the moor, where the wind was rising and sighing in the broom bushes.
The clouds were hurrying up from the north-west, and threatening to
overcast the pale evening sky, quivering flocks of fieldfares whirred
over her, and the gold and purple were fast losing their brilliant
tints. As she neared the cottage in the darkening twilight, a patch of
scarlet caught her eye, and a warm glow of comfort rushed into her
heart. It was Sara's red mantle and she knew the faithful heart was
waiting for her.
"The dear old mother," she said, and hastening her footsteps soon
reached Sara, who stood leaning on her stick and peering over the moor.
"Here I am, mother!" she said, as cheerfully as she could.
"'Merch fâch i!" said Sara tenderly, and they turned into the cottage
together.
The tea was laid on the little round table in the chimney corner.
"Did you expect me, then, mother?"
"Yes; I thought thou wouldst come, child, to see how I fared as thou
art sleeping there to-night," and sitting down together they chatted
over their tea.
At Garthowen there was much chat going on, too. Ebben Owens had not
sold his yearlings.
"I wasn't going to give them away for half price, not I!" he said.
"I'd rather keep them till next fair." So Twm had driven them home
again, and was even now turning them into the old cowhouse.
"Well! I have a wonderful piece of news to give you all," said Gwilym
Morris, leaning back in his chair and diving deep into his pocket.
Having pulled out a canvas bag he laid it triumphantly on the table
with a bang.
"What is it?" said all, in a breath.
Gwilym did not answer, but undoing the pink tape which tied it, he
poured out on the table forty glittering sovereigns.
"There!" he said, "what do you think; old Tim 'Penlau' paid me the 40
pounds he has owed me so long!"
"Well, wonders will never cease!" said Ebben Owens.
"How long has he had them?" asked Will.
"Oh! these years and years. I had quite given them up, but he was
always promising that when he sold his farm he would repay me. Now
they have come just in time to furnish the new house, Ann."
"But why didn't you put them into the bank?" asked Will.
"'Twas too late, the bank was closed; but I will take them in
to-morrow."
"I saw you talking to Gryny Lewis in the market," said Ebben Owens.
"What were you saying to him? You weren't such a fool as to tell him
you had received the 40 pounds?"
"Well, yes, indeed I did," replied Gwilym.
"Well, I wouldn't tell him. Don't forget how he stole from Jos
Hughes's till."
"Well, indeed, I never remembered that. Oh, I'll take care of them,"
he said, tying them once more in his bag, and returning them to his
pocket. "I'll put them in my drawer to-night, and to-morrow I'll take
them to the bank."
When Morva returned they were still discussing the preacher's good
fortune in the recovery of the loan which he had almost despaired of.
"Oh, there's glad I am!" said the girl; and Gethin put in a word of
congratulation as he sauntered out to take a last look at the horses.
Long before ten the whole household had retired for the night. Ann and
Morva slept in a small room on the first landing, just beyond which, up
two steps, ran a long passage, into which the other bedrooms opened.
Morva, who generally found the handmaid of sleep waiting beside her
pillow, missed her to-night. Hour after hour she lay silent and
open-eyed, vainly endeavouring to follow Ann into the realms of
dreamland.
Tudor, too, who usually slept quietly in his kennel, seemed disturbed
and restless, and filled the air with mournful howling.
The girl was in that cruellest of all stages of sorrow, when the mind
has but half grasped the meaning of its trouble. She had no name for
the deep longing which rebelled in her heart against the fate that was
closing her in; for she had as yet scarcely confessed to herself that
her whole being turned towards Gethin as the flower to the sun, and
that in her breast, so long calm and unruffled as the pools in the
boggy moor, was growing as strong a repulsion for one brother as love
for the other. And as she lay quietly on her pillow, endeavouring not
to disturb her companion's rest, a tide of sorrowful regrets swept over
her, even as outside, under the shifting moonlight, the bay, yesterday
so calm, was torn and tossed by the rising north-west wind. Through
all, and interwoven even with her bitter grief, was the memory of that
happy night--surely long ago?--when she had sat in the warm air of the
cynos, and Gethin had danced into her heart. Oh, the pity of it! such
love to be offered her, and to be thrust aside! "That is what I would
say if I were Will!" And all night every sorrowful longing, every
endeavour after resignation, every prayer for strength, ended with the
same refrain, "If he were Will! if he were Will!"
Tick, tack, tick, tack! the old clock filled the night air with its
measured beat. "Surely it does not tick so loudly in the day?" she
thought.
Ten, eleven, and twelve had struck, and still Morva lay wakeful, with
wide-open eyes, watching the hurrying clouds. At last she slept for an
hour or two, and her uninterrupted breathing showed that the
invigorating sleep of youth had at length fallen upon her weary
eyelids. For an hour or two she slept, but at last she suddenly
stirred, and in a moment was wide awake, with every sense strained to
the utmost.
What had awakened her she could not tell. She was conscious only of an
eager and thrilling expectancy.
She was about to relapse into slumber when a gliding sound caught her
ear, and in a moment she was listening again, with all her senses
alert. Was it fancy? or was there a soft footfall, and a sound as of a
hand drawn over the whitewashed wall of the passage? A board creaked,
and Morva sat up, and strained her ears to listen. After a stillness
of some moments, again there was the soft footfall and the gliding hand
on the wall. She rose and quietly crept into the passage just in time
to see a dark figure entering the preacher's room.
Who could it be?
Intense curiosity was the feeling uppermost in her mind, and this alone
prevented her calling Ann. Standing a few moments in breathless
silence, she heard the slow opening of a drawer; another pause of eager
listening, while the stealthy footsteps seemed to be returning towards
the doorway.
At this moment the moon emerged from behind a cloud, and in her light
Morva saw a sight which astonished her, for coming from the preacher's
room a well-known form stood plainly revealed. It was Gethin! and the
girl shrank a little into the shadow of a doorway. But her precaution
was needless, for he walked as if dazed or asleep, and with unsteady
footstep seemed to stagger as he hurriedly gained his own room.
Morva, frightened and wondering, returned to bed, and if the early
hours of the night had been disturbed and restless, those which
followed were still more so.
What could it mean? What could Gethin want in Gwilym's room? She had
thought it was a thief, and if not a thief what was the meaning of
those stealthy footsteps and the opening of the drawer? and full of
unrest she lay awake listening to the ticking of the clock, and to
Tudor's continued howling. Should she wake Ann? No! for Gethin had
evidently desired secrecy, and she would not be the one to frustrate
his intentions, for whatever might be the object of his secret visit to
the preacher's room, she never doubted but that it was right and
honourable.
All night she lay in troubled thought, rising many times to look
through the ivy-framed window towards the eastern brow of the slopes.
At length the pale dawn drew near, and Morva slept a heavy dreamless
sleep, which lasted till Ann called her for the churning.
[1] Cowhouse.