Now that hostilities are at an end it is thought by many intelligent
young subalterns that a little variety might well be introduced into
Army routine.
For instance, at a General's Inspection why should not Officers'
duties be allotted after this fashion?--
The Commanding Officer will bind up the Second-in-Command with a
length of red tape, showing that no escape is possible from this
form of entanglement.
The Adjutant will give an exhibition of paper manipulation, using
various Army Forms for this purpose.
The Assistant-Adjutant will demonstrate how a morning's work may be
made of the changing of a pen-nib, while still creating an impression
of devoted industry.
The Messing Officer will fry a fillet of sole by means of haybox
cookery, and during the process will publicly skin a ration rabbit
in such a way that not the slightest depreciation is caused in the
value of 2½d. attached to a rabbit-skin.
The Officer i/e Demobilisation will demobilise you while you wait
(provided you can wait long enough).
The Quartermaster will make a model of Hampton Court Maze,
illustrative of the intricacies of his department, taking care that
his model appropriately differs from the original in having no means
of exit.
The Medical Officer will demonstrate how the huge national
accumulation of No. 9 pills may be adapted to civilian purposes by
using the pill _(a)_ as a fertiliser for the Officers' tennis lawn,
and _(b)_ as a destroyer of the superfluous grass bordering thereon.
Company Commanders will collaborate in a display of standing on
their own feet without the assistance of their respective Company
Sergeant-Majors. (N.B.--Absolute silence is requested during this
very delicate performance.)
The Junior Subaltern will give an exhibition of stunt saluting.
* * * * *