In the middle of the day, in my third year, my father was dangerously
ill. I bicycled over to Peterborough at once, never thinking of my
work. (My father is a canon of Peterborough Cathedral.) On the third
day I received a telegram from Professor Blair, “Will you be my wife?”
I had never realized myself as a woman, or him as a man, till that
moment, and in that moment I knew that I loved him and had always loved
him. It was a case of what one might call “Love at first absence.”
My father recovered rapidly; I returned to Cambridge; we were married
during the May week, and went immediately to Switzerland. I beg to be
spared any recital of so sacred a period of my life; but I must record
one fact.
We were sitting in a garden by Lago Maggiore after a delightful tramp
from Chamounix over the Col du Géant to Courmayeur, and thence to
Aosta, and so by degrees to Pallanza. Arthur rose, apparently struck
by some idea, and began to walk up and down the terrace. I was quite
suddenly impelled to turn my head to assure myself of his presence.
This may seem nothing to you who read, unless you have true
imagination. But think of yourself talking to a friend in full light,
and suddenly leaning forward to touch him. “Arthur!” I cried, “Arthur!”
The distress in my tone brought him running to my side. “What is it,
Magdalen?” he cried, anxiety in every word.
I closed my eyes. “Make gestures!” said I. (He was directly between me
and the sun.)
He obeyed, wondering.
“You are----you are----” I stammered--“no! I don’t know what you are
doing. I am blind!”
He sawed his arm up and down. Useless; I had become absolutely
insensitive. We repeated a dozen experiments that night. All failed.
We concealed our disappointment, and it did not cloud our love. The
sympathy between us grew even subtler and stronger, but only as it
grows between all men and women who love with their whole hearts, and
love unselfishly.