_Question._ What are the duties of a Pointsman?
_Answer._ To remember the effect of moving the switches.
_Q._ When is he likely to cease to remember this important detail?
_A._ After he has been on duty a certain or uncertain number of hours.
_Q._ Do these conditions also appertain to the labours of a man in the
signal-box?
_A._ Certainly, but in a more marked degree.
_Q._ What would a collision consequent upon the occasion to which you have
referred be called?
_A._ Generally, "an accident."
_Q._ But would there ever be an exception to this nomenclature?
_A._ Yes; in the case of a Coroner being over-officious, and his Jury
"turning nasty."
_Q._ What would be the effect of this unpleasant combination of
circumstances?
_A._ That a verdict of "Manslaughter" would be given against the occupant
of the signal-box.
[Illustration]
_Q._ What would happen to his superiors?
_A._ Nothing. However, they would be required to see the proper evidence
was forthcoming at the prisoner's trial.
_Q._ What would be the end of the incident?
_A._ Six months hard labour from the Bench, and a day's sympathy from the
general Public for the ex-occupant of the signal-box.
_Q._ What are the duties of a Station-master?
_A._ To be civil to season-ticket holders, and to refer the general Public
to officials of smaller importance than himself.
_Q._ What is your impression of an ideal Station-master?
_A._ A gentleman in correct morning dress taking a deep interest savouring
of sincere satisfaction in all the arrangements of the traffic over which
he exercises a qualified control.
_Q._ If he is asked why such and such a train is an hour late, what should
he reply?
_A._ He should observe cheerily that it keeps better time than it used to
do.
_Q._ Should he ever exhibit surprise?
_A._ Only when a train enters the station punctually to the moment, then he
may safely presume that there must have been an accident somewhere.
_Q._ And now in conclusion, how can an official secure in all human
probability a long life?
_A._ By taking care never to travel on his own line?
* * * * *
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