When the train stopped at Camden, four gentlemen got off, and walked,
arm-in-arm, rapidly and silently, up one of the by-streets, and struck
off into a foot-path leading to a secluded grove outside the town. Of
the first two, one was our military friend in a blue coat, apparently
the leader of the party. Of the second two, one was a smiling, rosy
little man, carrying a black valise. Their respective companions walked
with hasty, irregular strides, were abstracted, and--apparently ill at
ease.
The party stopped.
'This is the place,' said Captain Jones.
'Yes,' said Doctor Smith.
The Captain and the Doctor conferred together. The other two studiously
kept apart.
'Very well. I'll measure the ground, and do you place your man.'
It was done.
'Now for the pistols,' whispered the Captain to his fellow-second.
'They are all ready, in the valise,' replied the Doctor.
The principals were placed, ten paces apart, and wearing that decidedly
uncomfortable air a man has who is in momentary expectation of being
shot.
'You will fire, gentlemen, simultaneously, when I give the word,' said
the Captain. Then, in an undertone, to the Doctor, 'Quick, the pistols.'
The Doctor, stooping over and fumbling at the valise, appeared to find
something that surprised him.
'Why, what the devil--'
'What's the matter?' asked the Captain, striding up. 'Can't you find the
caps?'
'Deuce a pistol or cap, but this!'
He held up--a lady's night-cap!
'Look here--and here--and here!'--holding up successively a hair-brush,
a long, white night-gown, a cologne-bottle, and a comb.
They were greeted with a long whistle by the Captain, and a blank stare
by the two principals.
'Confound the luck!' ejaculated the Captain; 'if we haven't made a
mistake, and brought the wrong valise!'
The principals looked at the seconds. The seconds looked at the
principals. Nobody volunteered a suggestion. At last the Doctor
inquired,
'Well, what's to be done?'
'D----d unlucky!' again ejaculated the Captain. 'The duel can't go on.'
'Evidently not,' responded the Doctor, 'unless they brain each other
with the hair-brush, or take a pop at each other with the
cologne-bottle.'
'You are quite sure there are no pistols in the valise?' said one of the
principals, with suppressed eagerness, and drawing a long breath of
evident relief.
'We might go over to the city and get pistols,' proposed the Captain.
'And by that time it will he dark,' said the Doctor.
'D----d unlucky,' said the Captain again.
'We shall be the laughing-stock of the town,' consolingly remarked the
Doctor, 'if this gets wind.'
'One word with you, Doctor,' here interposed his principal.
They conferred.
At the end of the conference with his principal, the Doctor, advancing
to the Captain, conferred with him. Then the Captain conferred with his
principal. Then the seconds conferred with each other. Finally, it was
formally agreed between the contending parties that a statement should
be drawn up in writing, whereby Principal No. 1 tendered the assurance
that the offensive words 'You are a liar' were not used by him in any
personal sense, but solely as an abstract proposition, in a general way,
in regard to the matter of fact under dispute. To which Principal No. 2
appended his statement of his high gratification at this candid and
honorable explanation, and unqualifiedly withdrew the offensive words
'You are a scoundrel,' they having been used by him under a
misapprehension of the intent and purpose of the remark which preceded
them.
There being no longer a cause of quarrel, the duel was of course ended.
The principals shook hands, first with each other, and next with the
seconds, and were evidently very glad to get out of it.
'And now that it is so happily settled,' said the Doctor, chuckling and
rubbing his hands, 'it proves to have been a lucky mistake, after all,
that we brought the wrong valise. Wonder what the lady that owns it will
say when she opens ours and finds the pistols.'
'Very well for you to laugh about,' growled the Captain; 'but it's no
joke for me to lose my pistols. Hair triggers--best English make, and
gold mounted. There arn't a finer pair in America.'
'Oh, we'll find 'em. We'll go on a pilgrimage from house to house,
asking if any lady there has lost a night-cap and found a pair of
dueling-pistols.'
* * * * *