_Cordial advice, and infallible instructions for the
_Innkeeper_, how to know Thieves from his honest
Guests._
Methinks the many tragical examples of Innkeepers, who have harboured
and countenanced Thieves, were sufficient (I should think) to deter
those that survive from doing the like; wherefore my advice to them in
general is, that their chiefest care be, not to wink at any such
life-destroying actions for hope of gain, lest that sweet be imbittered
by future trouble and disgrace. That you may know them, observe these
Rules: First, they are extraordinary curious about their horses; they
will have them as strangely drest, as strangely fed, with Mashes, Bread,
Flesh, and mingled provender, and that in an unusual quantity. If any
wonder at the extraordinary feeding of their horses, they will endeavour
to palliate their design therein, by telling that their tricks and good
abilities deserve it: nay, sometimes they will boast, that their worthy
services will soon repay the cost; using the like dark words to that
effect, which are palpable grounds for suspition. It is their custom
likewise to ask, Whose horse is that? or, What is the owner thereof
standing by? of what function or quality? whither he intends to travel?
how far, and when? Observe again, that their Cloak-bags are for the most
part empty, carrying them only but to make a shew. Next, the Chamberlain
conducting them to their Chamber, he is presently dismist; but let him
hearken, and if they are High-way men, ’tis ten to one but they fall to
share what they have purchased that day; and he shall see every one
taking his dividend, as well as hear the money, if he but narrowly pry
into the Chamber. This they never defer, lest he which hath the purse
should cheat the rest. But above all, for their discovery, make this
trial; Cause one to knock hastily at the gate, giving him instructions
in the mean time that attends on them, to observe their carriage then,
and he shall see them start and stare in each others face with ghastly
looks, being struck with fear and amazement: speak so that they may hear
you, seemingly to some or other in the house, asking what Officers those
are? what is their business? or whom do they look for? or the like. If
they seem much frighted, bid them fear not, for none shall search where
they are, to offer them any injurie; and that they are as safe with him,
as in a well fortified Castle. By this means you may pry into their
private thoughts and actions so far, as that you may gather, not only
substantial grounds for more then bare conjectures, but it may be they
will confess something too, desiring your concealment and succour, and
they shall think themselves for ever ingaged: after this you may use
your own discretion. Then again, you may perceive by their loitering and
disregard of time, what they expect; for they only bait but to observe
what purchase they can see pass by; which when they have espyed, they
will pretend immediate business calls them to be gone, and so mount in
great haste. Again, when they come to an Inn to lodge, they commonly
come in divided, or in several Companies, frustrating the _Hue_ and
_Cry_ by their number: besides, if one part be surprized, the other may
escape; and when the residue comes in, they seem as strangers one to the
other, enquiring of mine Host what their Companions are, what
Country-men, whether he knows them? and if they find he hath either
jealousie or suspition of any of them, they will feign some of business
that necessitates their speedy departure: but if you take them for
honest men, as they met by seeming chance in your Kitchin, so after some
formal civil salutations, and drinking together, they soon became
acquainted, and before they part, shew much familiarity. Thus as I was
farther endeavouring to lay open their devices and deceits, to repair
what wrong my Country had sustained by me, word was brought me, that I
must immediately appear at the Bar, and there answer what should be
objected against me; and it was but just that I should be now exposed to
the Law of Justice, since I had so often rejected and slighted the Law
of Mercy.