OF THE STRANGEST AND MOST EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURE THAT
BEFELL DON QUIXOTE IN THE WHOLE COURSE OF THIS GREAT HISTORY
As soon as the horsemen had dismounted, they and the men on foot
carried Don Quixote and Sancho bodily into the center of the court,
which was illuminated with hundreds of torches and lamps placed all
around it. In the very center there was a catafalque, elevated to a
height of several yards above the ground and covered by a huge canopy
of black velvet. To the catafalque steps led from all around, and on
the steps were hundreds of wax tapers burning in silver candlesticks.
On the catafalque lay the dead body of a beautiful maiden. On one side
of the stage there was a large platform on which sat two figures, with
scepters in their hands and crowns on their heads: judging by this,
Don Quixote thought they must be royal personages. On the side of this
platform were two empty chairs, to which Don Quixote and Sancho were
led. And when they had seated themselves and turned around to observe
what was going to happen, they were suddenly startled by seeing their
friends, the Duke and the Duchess, mount the platform and seat
themselves next to the royalty.
Don Quixote and Sancho both paid them homage by rising and bowing
profoundly, and the ducal pair returned their compliment with a
slight bow of the head. Following them came a long row of attendants.
Then suddenly Don Quixote came to realize that the corpse was none
other than that of the fair Altisidora, whose love he had scorned, and
that shocked him greatly.
Some one connected with the ceremonies passed at that moment and threw
a robe of black buckram covered with painted red flames of fire over
Sancho and, removing his cap, put on his head a miter of the kind that
those who were undergoing the sentence of the Holy Office wore. At the
same time he whispered in Sancho's ear that if he opened his lips, his
life would not be safe.
At first Sancho, seeing all the flames that seemed to be licking his
body, got frightened, but when he found that no heat ensued and
nothing else happened, his worries ceased. In the next moment his and
his master's attention was attracted by low, sweet sounds of music and
singing that seemed to vibrate from underneath the catafalque; and
then there appeared a youth with a harp, and he sang a song that dealt
with the cruelty of Don Quixote toward the fair Altisidora, who now
was dead from a broken heart.
When he had sung of her charms, one of the two who seemed like kings
rose from his seat and spoke. He, Minos, who sat in judgment with
Rhadamanthus, now begged the latter to stand up and announce what must
be done in order to affect the resuscitation and restoration of the
damsel Altisidora. As soon as he had declaimed all he had to say, he
sat down, and in the next moment Rhadamanthus rose and decreed that
all the officials gather quickly and attach the person of Sancho
Panza, as through him alone Altisidora's restoration could be
effected, he said, by his receiving twenty-four smacks in the face,
twelve pinches and six pin-thrusts in the back and arms.
Nobody but Sancho objected to the King's proclamation; but Sancho was
emphatic enough for a multitude. "Body of me!" he replied unhesitatingly.
"What has mauling my face got to with the resurrection of this damsel?
The old woman takes kindly to my persecution; they enchant Dulcinea, and
whip me in order to disenchant her. Altisidora dies of ailments God was
pleased to send her, and to bring her to life they must give me
four-and-twenty smacks, and prick holes in my body with pins, and raise
weals on my arms with pinches! Try those jokes on a brother-in-law; I am
an old dog, and its no use with me."
But Rhadamanthus was bent in carrying out his threat. He gave a sign
to one of the attendants, and in the next moment a procession of
duennas started toward Sancho with raised hands. Sancho saw them
coming against him, he grew frantic, and began to bellow like a bull,
crying out: "I might let myself be handled by all the world; but allow
duennas to touch me? Not a bit of it! Scratch my face, as my master
was served in this very castle; run me through the body with burnished
daggers; pinch my arms with red-hot pincers; I shall bear all in
patience to serve these gentlefolk; but I will not let duennas touch
me, though the devil himself should carry me off!"
Here Don Quixote thought it was time for him to add his plea to that
of the King, and he began to reason with Sancho. At last he subdued
him somewhat, and by that time the duennas had reached the spot where
Don Quixote and Sancho were seated, and one of them came up,
curtsied, and gave the poor squire a smack on the face that nearly
unseated him, and that made him exclaim: "Less politeness and less
paint, Senora Duenna. By God, your hands smell of vinegar-wash!"
No sooner had Sancho uttered these words than he was smacked and
pinched by nearly all the rest of them, until at last he lost his
temper and seized a lighted torch, with which he pursued the flying
duennas in an uncontrollable rage, crying: "Begone, ye ministers of
Hell! I am not made of brass not to feel such out-of-the-way
tortures."
But just then Altisidora--who probably was tired of lying on her back
such a long time--moved, and in the next moment exclamations were
heard from all in the court: "Altisidora is alive! Altisidora lives!"
Now that the great miracle had been attained, Rhadamanthus turned to
Sancho and bade him still his anger; and Don Quixote again entreated
Sancho, since he so nobly had proven that virtue now was ripe in him,
to go to work and disenchant his Dulcinea in the same breath. To this
Sancho replied:
"That is trick upon trick, I think, and not honey upon pancakes. A
nice thing it would be for a whipping to come now, on the top of
pinches, smacks, and pin-proddings! You had better take a big stone
and tie it round my neck, and pitch me into a well; I should not mind
it much, if I am to be always made the cow of the wedding for the cure
of other people's ailments. Leave me alone; or else by the Lord I
shall fling the whole thing to the dogs, come what may!"
By this time Altisidora had entirely recovered from her death and was
now sitting up on the catafalque. The music was again heard, the
voices sang, and all came forward to help the young maiden down from
her elevated position.
Altisidora acted as if she were just coming out of a long, long sleep;
and when she saw the Kings and the Duke and the Duchess she bowed her
head to them in respect. Then she asked the Lord to forgive Don
Quixote for his cruelty, while she praised and thanked Sancho Panza
for his sacrifice, and offered to give him six smocks of hers to make
into shirts for himself, adding that if they were not quite whole,
they were at least all clean. On hearing this, Sancho fell on his
knees and kissed her hands; and then one of the attendants approached
him, at the order of the Duke, and asked him to return the red robe
and the miter. Sancho, however, wanted to keep them to show to his
villagers as a remembrance of his marvelous experience; and when the
Duchess heard of his desire she commanded that they be given to her
friend as a token of her everlasting esteem.
Soon everybody had left the court and retired to their quarters, and
the Duke had Don Quixote and Sancho shown to their old chambers.